16. ~ The Ball ~

CHAPTER 16

Time grew cruel, tormenting me with memories of Lieutenant Sterling, leaving me yearning for his presence. And I now had double the reason for sleepless nights; as the war raged on, my father's and Lieutenant Sterling's safety weighed on my mind. My only consolation lay in Father's affection for his protégé, but Father wasn't a god. He could not guarantee his own safety, much less that of the men under him.

In the meantime, I paid close attention to what Father wrote home about. He mentioned the lieutenant often, or perhaps I noticed it more. Bit by bit, I gathered a fair amount of intelligence on the young soldier's whereabouts. He spent most of his time in his flat in London, close to his military post, or at home in Landford—a town less than twenty miles away as the crow flew. It would be easy to make an excuse to visit a shop in Landford or a friend in London and maybe cross paths with him. But that would be tantamount to admitting my capitulation, and I wasn't sure I could define the true state of my feelings. Perhaps, I tried too hard to keep these new powerful emotions at bay. I knew only that my world had tilted on its axis the night of the kiss, and the only hope of regaining my equilibrium lay in seeing the lieutenant again.

With the arrival of August came a renewal within the country of optimism amid the harshness of the war. Many customary events were encouraged and kept, among them the Annual Summer Army Ball, held this year at the castle of the Countess of Brockenhurst in the heart of the New Forest. At last, I would see the face that haunted my dreams and filled my waking hours. I was elated and terrified.

The sun descended behind the trees, painting the horizon with streaks of bright orange. And there, among branches heavy with leaves, the towers of Brockenhurst Castle rose into heaven. I loved this place. With its stone walls, circular medieval towers, and exquisite gardens, it never failed to take my breath away. The Silver Ghost slowed as it entered the castle's grounds, as if in reverence. And soon it became clear we weren't the only ones to arrive early.

"Up there," Father instructed Mr. Lewis, pointing to a vacant spot near the entrance. "Make haste before someone takes it."

"Yes, sir." Mr. Lewis depressed the gas, and the car jerked forward.

Silver nabbed the coveted parking space, and before we'd completely stopped, I jumped out, eager to escape the heat inside the car. It had been a miserable, long, bumpy ride.

"Florence!" The Countess of Brockenhurst's daughter, Catherine, rushed to us.

"Catherine! It's so good to see you again." I threw my arms around her. "You look wonderful!"

A petite girl with long dark hair and green eyes, Catherine looked radiant, as always. As children, we'd spent many summers together at Brockenhurst or Forti Radici. Sadly, growing up had a way of distancing friends.

Mr. Lewis unloaded our luggage onto the steps and left to find a place for Silver somewhere on the grounds. Unnecessarily fearing the loss of our belongings, Mrs. Allerton guarded the bags like a sentinel.

"Samuel! George!" called Catherine.

Two young fellows who'd been admiring the black car up ahead, turned to look at us.

Catherine waved them over. "These are my younger cousins. Do you remember them?"

"Younger?" the shorter of the two questioned. "Only by four puny years."

"Yeah, that's right. Catherine talks about us as if we were babies," his brother added.

I studied their faces, struggling to recall them. "I'm afraid I don't."

"That's all right. I don't remember you either. I'm George," said the tall one with dark hair and brown eyes. "And this is my brother, Samuel." Samuel, a bit on the chubby side, was quite good-looking. His mischievous blue eyes looked at me from underneath a mane of blond hair.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both, or to see you again, whichever it is," I said.

"The pleasure is ours," they responded in unison, and placing one arm behind their backs, they bowed as far as possible without falling forward.

I smiled. Their fun, vivacious personalities erased the last traces of irritation brought on by the ride.

"Mrs. Allerton! Mrs. Allerton!" Catherine called. "These boys here will carry your luggage to your quarters."

"We will?" Samuel looked surprised.

"Oh, that's so kind of you!" Mrs. Allerton wasted no time in taking Samuel and George to task. She quickly loaded them up and sent them on their way.

"Well, that's how you get things done around here." Catherine laughed. "Though I have the feeling it's going to cost me. They'll find a way to get even."

It was good to be at Brockenhurst Castle again.

Catherine, Arianna Whitley, and I strolled into the ballroom as people hustled about with great industry arranging flowers, setting up tables, and cleaning the already spotless floors and windows. Thankfully, Mrs. Allerton also involved herself in the preparations, providing me with space to be myself.

"Look at this place. It's so crazy." Arianna, the daughter of the largest arms manufacturer in England, was one of the most talked about girls in the region. With dresses that showed off her curvy silhouette, blonde hair spiraling down to her shoulders, and her unbridled personality, she understood her effect on men and manipulated it to her advantage.

"If I didn't know better, I wouldn't think we are at war," I said.

"Well then, I must tell you," Catherine started, "this extreme cleansing of Brockenhurst is not solely for the ball. Next week, we turn the castle over to the authorities for use as a hospital. Being close to the south ports and railway connections, it's the perfect location."

It saddened me to think of the many who would come here after experiencing the horrors of war. The stories I heard about the battlefield ran through my head. I shuddered at the fear, brutality, and wrenching feelings of powerlessness. I ached for soldiers on all sides of the conflict. However, seeing our people rallying to help them lifted my spirits.

"My family will stay, of course," Catherine further said. "We'll help run the hospital."

"You must keep me informed," I encouraged. "I'd love to come and help. I learned a thing or two about medicine and caring for the sick during my time in India."

"I'm ashamed I know nothing about medicine or its administration. I'm more likely to kill a patient than help them," Arianna lamented. "But I'm very capable of helping with the washing and ironing. I'll call you in a few weeks."

"Thank you." Catherine smiled. "I just hope for the sake of the world, that we find a way to end the war, and soon."

"Me too. But enough of gloominess." Arianna moved to a chair by the wall of windows. "Let's focus on tomorrow night. It will be a night to remember, and we must enjoy the young men while we still have them."

While we still have them. Her remark brought the lieutenant to mind. An opportunity to see him after tonight might not happen again, especially if he was deployed, or heaven forbid, if death . . . No, I could not contemplate that awful possibility.

"Florence, there is something on your mind." Catherine observed. "What is it?"

"I just remembered my father's right-hand man, Lieutenant General Sterling. I wonder if he'll come to the ball."

"Oh, my goodness! Not you too." Ariana threw her head back and laughed.

"Me too? What do you mean?" I wished I hadn't said anything. Mrs. Allerton was right; I would never learn to hold my tongue.

"You fancy him, don't you?" Arianna gave me an amused look.

"Nonsense!"

"Come on, Florence. We can see right through that innocent face of yours," Catherine pressed.

"You wouldn't have asked if you weren't dying to know more about him," Arianna affirmed.

"He is quite intriguing, that's all," I answered uncompromisingly, but my friends weren't fooled. They were more experienced with the opposite sex. Yes, I had fallen for the coveted lieutenant.

They giggled and shook their heads at my apparent misfortune.

"So, you know him?" I asked.

"Of course I do," Arianna said lamentingly. How well did she know him?

"I've heard about him but haven't met him," Catherine informed.

"How do you know him?" I asked Arianna.

"He came to the factory to arrange some deal or other with my father—for the army, you know," Arianna explained quickly, as if wanting to move on from the subject.

"I can't wait to meet him." Catherine smiled at me. "I don't recall you being this fond of anyone before. I'm curious indeed."

"You'll be disappointed," Arianna warned her.

"Why? Surely he is handsome."

"His looks aren't the problem," I mumbled.

"No," Arianna agreed. "He's stunning, all right."

"What, then?" Catherine looked back and forth between us. "Go on, tell me."

"General Sterling has been endowed with an attractive, well-proportioned, and imposing appearance that gives one great viewing pleasure. His black hair, bright-blue eyes, and strong jaw, combined with his towering height presents a real challenge to females." Arianna recited this so adequately I wondered if she had it memorized.

"Oh my!" Catherine burst out laughing. "He doesn't sound real."

She had no idea how true her statement was.

"No, he doesn't," Arianna concurred. "To the end of making the general real, allow me to disclose the bad news."

I sighed. Everything had a downside.

"Please proceed." Catherine folded her arms and leaned against the velvet curtains, clearly enthralled by the tale.

"Perhaps it's a consequence of his looks, but General Sterling suffers from an excess of superiority and overbearing pride, which tends to give one an instant attitude of hostility toward him." Arianna shook her head as if wishing her assessment weren't true. "There, now you know."

Having barely recovered from the fit of laughter, Catherine broke into another.

Now I felt like laughing and crying at the same time.

"Let me add this: if you want to enjoy the ball, look at him from afar. As long as he doesn't speak, he is absolutely adorable." Arianna fiddled with her hair, her gaze wandering about the room. I would have loved to know what thoughts filled her head.

With a few final snorts, Catherine composed herself. "In other words, he holds himself like no girl is good enough. Indeed, I'm intrigued by the dazzling man. I can't wait to meet him."

I drew in a long breath. In one more day, I would face the cause of my turmoil, and I still had to decide on a course of action.

Every nook and cranny of Brockenhurst Castle glowed, the crystal chandeliers across the lengthy ballroom gleaming from multiple shines. And under its splendor, the staff was rarely seen now, some having receded to the grounds to welcome and direct guests, others to prepare the food they would soon serve.

Through one of the spotless windows, I observed the endless line of vehicles headed toward the entrance, headlights flickering like fireflies in the night. Before long, large numbers of guests flowed in wearing attire befitting the opulent occasion. The gentlemen sported tailored suits with crisp white shirts or crisply starched uniforms. In contrast, the ladies wore delicate evening gowns with iridescent and glimmering colors.

"Florence!" An excited voice extracted me from my contemplations.

"Thomas!" He reached for my hand to kiss it, though the gesture was rapidly disappearing from our world. "Oh, you are such a gentleman." Dressed in a brown uniform, he looked quite dashing. "How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you. It's wonderful to see you again."

"Who is your friend?" Catherine joined us, accompanied by Arianna, George, and Samuel.

I introduced Thomas, and from the corner of my eye saw the orchestra conductor raise his baton. A hush of anticipation fell over the ballroom as the first notes of music flowed like a refreshing breeze over the summer night.

"May I have the honor of this dance?" Thomas asked me, and George asked Arianna, who more than happily complied.

While we moved to the soft rhythm of the music, I searched for Lieutenant Sterling. My anxiousness must've been noticeable, for when Arianna and George danced past us, she whispered, "He'll come. Don't worry."

Thankfully, Thomas hadn't heard. I didn't want to explain. When the waltz ended, he asked for a second dance right away, a breach of etiquette, but I acquiesced. However, I soon realized that Thomas held me too close, too tight, and I wished I had said no.

"Why don't you ask Catherine?" I suggested once the song ended, nodding toward her. She stood in the same spot we had left her with Samuel, who grinned at every girl that passed him.

"Maybe Samuel should ask her," Thomas reasoned.

"Samuel is her cousin."

"Oh. I see."

"Go ahead. Ask her."

"If I didn't know you better, I'd think you wanted to dispose of me," Thomas said, leaning uncomfortably close.

True, but I also sincerely worried for my friend. "It's not good for a girl's self-confidence to wait this long to dance, especially when she's the countess's daughter."

"Right, then. We must correct that." Thomas headed to Catherine.

I waded to the edge of the sea of moving bodies. My earlier excitement fled, and I avoided looking at any of the young men nearby. I had no desire to be asked to dance.

"He's here!" Arianna's announcement startled me out of the doldrums. George stood beside her.

"Lieutenant Sterling?"

"Who else? Come, I'll show you." Grabbing my arm, she pulled me into the foyer. Through the crowd separating us, I caught a glimpse of the soldier.

"He is not alone," George said. Being taller, George had the advantage of a better view.

"Who's with him?" I asked.

"Don't know." He stood on his toes now.

"Is it a girl?" Arianna urged.

"Yes . . . yes, it's a girl. They are coming this way," George informed.

"Pretend we are having a normal conversation," Arianna suggested while George kept a running commentary on their progress.

"Almost here . . . almost here," he said.

General Sterling and his companion passed by us into the ballroom. I couldn't believe how blatantly he ignored me. Worse yet, I was stunned to see he escorted Nelly, who, as always, carried herself with overbearing self-assurance. It was obvious the kiss in the garden had been amazing only for me. I felt foolish. If anything, I had only been another feather in his cap. True, I'd turned him down, but if his confession had been sincere, would he have moved on so easily?

With my emotions raging, I yearned to confront him and express exactly what I thought of him. And, with the courage I surprisingly possessed in that moment, I wanted to give him a firm slap on both cheeks. And as far as Nelly Veils was concerned, maybe I would wipe her silly smile off her face once and for all. Thankfully, civility prevented me from humiliating myself to that extent. "It is madness in all women to let a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown, must devour the life that feeds it," Jane Eyre's words poignantly reminded me.

"Are you sure you two met? Even if he doesn't necessarily like you, out of respect for your father, he should've said hello," George blurted.

"George, watch your tongue!" Arianna scolded.

"It's all right." I forced myself into indifference. "The lieutenant has no obligation toward me. He may do as he pleases."

"While that's true, he could do better than Nelly," Arianna opined.

"What's wrong with Nelly? She looks lush in that dress," George exclaimed. "You're just jealous."

"George!" Arianna scolded again, glaring at him. "Don't you think before you speak?"

"Sorry. Sorry." He looked down sheepishly.

Catherine and Thomas joined us. "Did you see General Sterling? Thomas pointed him out to me. I must say that Arianna described him remarkably well yesterday. Not only is he quite handsome, he seems to know how to enjoy himself."

"Sure he does," I muttered.

"You saw him, then?" Catherine asked again.

"We did," I replied.

"Florence! Florence!" Samuel squeezed through the crowd. "Your father is looking for you."

"Thanks, Samuel. I better go find him." I walked away, hoping not to cross paths with the lieutenant and Nelly again.

My father spotted me as I entered the ballroom and signaled for me to join him.

"Florence, I want you to meet the Duke of Cardiff." He introduced me to an amiable middle-aged man and his wife, who looked much older than him.

Ere long, they resumed discussing the recent German capture of Warsaw. I was so enthralled by the conversation that I failed to see Lieutenant Sterling approach.

"Good evening." His calm voice infuriated me.

"Sterling, I'm glad you made it," Father greeted. "And well accompanied, I see."

Nelly giggled. "Hello, everyone."

"General." The lieutenant nodded to Father. To me, he said, "It's nice to see you again, my lady."

"I suppose it is." I faked a smile.

Time passed, and that was the sole exchange between us, expressed by words or the look in our eyes. And while the new arrivals integrated well with the group, quite soon, the situation became galling—the obsequious way he fawned over Nelly, the adoring way she gazed up at him—and I couldn't watch it any longer.

Noticing my friends had slipped into the room, I placed my hand behind my back and signaled for help.

"Excuse me, General Contini." Catherine came to the rescue. "May I steal Florence from you?"

"Of course, Miss Brockenhurst, anything for the lady of the castle."

I followed Catherine and Arianna to the drawing room just off the main hall.

"Sterling and Nelly." I groaned. "The whole thing is preposterous. I'm going to be sick."

"Oh my." Catherine smiled. "You are helplessly in love with him, aren't you?"

I shook my head in disappointment.

"Oh, come now, Florence. Can't you see it's a farce?" Arianna asserted. "He's smitten with you. Before he joined your group, he watched you the entire time. And when he couldn't stay away any longer, he intruded to make you jealous, to irritate you."

"He did that, all right," I said, defeated.

"Be that as it may," Arianna continued, "you can't let him get away with it. If you are seriously interested in the man, you must be unflagging. All is fair in love and war."

"To a reasonable point, of course," Catherine added. We both knew Arianna employed some questionable methods when it came to romance.

"Other than to make a fool of myself, which I've been doing remarkably well lately, I don't think there is anything else to be done—especially when Nelly has him in her clutches like a bird of prey."

"We'll take care of the bird," Catherine proposed, her green eyes sparkling. "We'll separate them so you can speak to him alone."

"Yes, that's right," Arianna agreed. "At least you can find out what's on his mind and go from there."

"How? Nelly will dive down on you and scratch your eyes out."

"Nonsense," Arianna refuted. "Put on a triumphant smile and wait for us by the dance floor."

When I hesitated, Catherine urged, "Trust us."

"All right." I squared my shoulders and returned to the lively room. In a secluded corner, I waited, aware that the lieutenant and Nelly had joined the dancing couples.

Minutes later, Catherine and Arianna, accompanied by George and Thomas, came to my corner. Unlike the men, whose discontent weighed heavily in their gazes, the girls' faces glowed with irrepressible mischief.

"I don't know about this," Thomas said doubtfully.

"Why are you so worried?" Arianna asked, seemingly annoyed by his concern.

"He is my superior. He could make my life miserable."

"You are right. We shouldn't involve you in this," Catherine decided. "Please, go find some of your comrades until the deed is done."

Thomas shook his head, rejecting the offer. "Retreating is not in my blood. Besides, it's too late for regrets—even when I'm not an active participant—I'm guilty of knowing about it."

"Well, I'm the one concerned now," I stated. "The last thing I want is to put any of you in a tight spot."

"Nonsense," Catherine argued. "We do this of our own free will and choice. Right Thomas?"

"Right." Thomas made a disapproving sound.

"Ah, don't be such a bore. And stop worrying," Arianna reprimanded.

My gaze fell on the goblet filled with red punch in Catherine's hand.

"Just the ticket," Catherine said. "Come now, Arianna and George, we have a bird to catch." She skirted the room, goblet in hand. Meanwhile, the couple joined the dance.

Thomas and I were left to be anxious spectators.

Arianna and George danced their way to the lieutenant and his starry-eyed companion, their rapid approach forcing the happy couple to the edge of the crowd. And in a sudden move, George and Arianna crashed into them. Now ideally situated, Catherine waited for her opening. Appearing entirely accidental, she collided with Nelly, causing the drink to spill down the front of Nelly's cream-colored dress.

Though Nelly screamed in horror, the people around them kept dancing. And the few who did offer to help, George quickly dismissed.

Catherine's gestures indicated a profuse apology for her clumsiness. George held back the stunned lieutenant while Arianna and Catherine guided Nelly from the ballroom.

"Well, there's your signal," Thomas said and quickly strode away.

Feigning confidence, I hustled through the throng, my stomach churning with anxiety.

George excused himself once I arrived.

The lieutenant's eyes held mine, and my confidence faltered at the detachment I saw there. "I'm surprised to find you alone," I lied.

"Miss Veils had an inconvenience. She'll be back soon."

"That's unfortunate." Another lie.

"What is? That she had an inconvenience or that she'll be back soon?" The bright light from the chandelier above accentuated his face, and I had a sinking feeling I had already lost the war when it came to Lieutenant Sterling. He was embedded in each cell of my body.

"That she had an inconvenience, of course. That's unfortunate."

"Indeed. Extremely unfortunate. Lady." He turned to leave.

I had to act. I reached for his arm. "Would you like to dance?" I hoped I didn't sound desperate.

"Excuse me?" His brows knitted in surprise.

"Would you like to dance?"

"You know how to?" Did he mean to tease or insult me?

"Better than you. Let me show you."

With a flick of his wrist, the conductor raised the baton, and the first notes of "Blue Danube" filled the air. The lieutenant placed his hand on my lower back, I reached for his shoulder, and our free hands clasped. We waltzed across the dance floor, each turn and dip feeling like we had done this a million times, our synchronicity simply beautiful.

"I must say, it's an honor to dance with General Contini's daughter."

"I must say, it's amazing how fast you found a new love."

"Love? Who said anything about love?" He smiled, seeming to enjoy my resentment.

"The way you two behave is indicative."

He pulled me close to whisper in my ear. "You toss around the word ‘love' too casually, Miss Contini."

"Me? I'm not the one advertising a new partner after just confessing my love to another," I fired.

"You rejected me," he fired back.

"And you readily gave up."

"I prefer surrender, not coercion." He smiled again. "It bothers you, doesn't it?"

"What does?" I dared to ask, knowing what he meant.

"That Nelly accompanied me tonight bothers you," he said calmly.

I wondered whether I should answer. His closeness made it impossible to think, and he knew it.

"Let's get some fresh air." He clasped my hand and pulled me after him.

I felt curious eyes watching as we withdrew. I would be the gossip of England for months to come if I left with the lieutenant, but too late. I had decided, my heart guiding me into the night.

We strolled through the quiet, deserted gardens, farther and farther from the castle into the darkness until we came to a thicket.

"Your love will never find you here," I noted.

"Who says I want to be found?" Because I could barely see his face in the starlight, I focused on his voice. "Besides, she is not my love—yet."

"I don't think she knows that." I leaned against a tree.

"You are blindly jealous."

"What's there to be jealous of?"

He chuckled. "If there is nothing to be jealous of, why did you have your friends ruin her dress?"

"You accuse me of such a thing?"

"You know I'm telling the truth."

"Depends how you look at it. As far as I'm concerned, we saved Nelly from a man who obviously has no interest in her."

"Nonsense. He stayed at her side all evening," he refuted.

"True, but he couldn't keep his eyes off me."

"Why are you here?" he asked, inching closer.

"I was invited to the ball."

"I mean out here with me?" His lips brushed my cheek as he spoke, sending sparks of electricity through me.

"I . . . don't know."

"You're too proud to admit how much you enjoy my company, Miss Contini. But you have a big problem."

"What can that possibly be, Lieutenant?"

"You can't stay away from me." He pressed his body against mine.

"Who said I want to?" The remaining words of Jane Eyre's statement about love came to me. "And, if discovered and responded to, must lead into miry wilds whence there is no extrication." No longer able to restrain myself, I laced my arms around his neck. I expected a gentle kiss, but he poured his desire into a multitude of kisses with an intensity that stole my breath away.