13. Chapter 13

Lirell began to lead her back to the medical bay, offering her a yavi fruit on the way.

Ava refused, even though her stomach was hollow. Seeing the others and hearing about Wert made the thought of food turn her stomach. If she really had free rein of the ship, she should be able to go to the mess hall later once she had a chance to settle.

Ava fingered the sedative patch in her pocket, hoping that after whatever medical test they wanted to do was over she could rest. Her feet felt leaden walking there, the halls haunted from recent events. It doesn’t feel right.

At least it wasn’t a silent walk back. Lirell seemed to have an insatiable appetite for hearing about the differences between Humans and themselves. Ava waited for a break in his questioning to ask one of her own.

“Lirell?”

Lirell tilted his head and looked questioningly at Ava.

“How does the reading my mind thing work? Can you see everything I know?”

He smiled, generous with his information. “Ah, no. We can only see what you are currently thinking of unless we break your mind. I’m not as good at reading present thoughts as the others even. I can only do very short range and can lose the meditative state easily unless I focus. I’m still learning, I can not break yet. Breaking is a new skill our people have learned . . .”

“Breaking . . . ?” Ava’s voice tripped over the word.

“You don’t need to worry about that. We would never do it to you,” Lirell rushed to assure her. He even went so far as to pat her on the shoulder, hand moving stiffly as if he was unsure how to touch her.

Ava held her tongue questioning him on that. Wert and the brutality toward the others was still fresh in her mind. “Are you scanning my mind all the time? Or only when you start glowing?”

“Only when we are lit up. We need to focus to access that part of us. Like right now, since I am walking with you, I can not access it. My companions can access the meditative state while walking, but they are much better than I am. If we need to focus on anything else, then we can not do it as effectively.” He stopped in the middle of the hall, changing the subject. “Wait, now I have a question for you.”

“Okay.” Ava stopped again and looked over at him, trying to avoid glancing down the rest of the hall. The sheer casualness of this discussion in the middle of a ship with bloodstains all over didn’t help her nerves.

He leaned forward eagerly, hands expressive when he talked. “So, you needed the sedative patch earlier. What does it look like when you sleep? Do you remain alert but relaxed like we do?”

“No, when I sleep I’m actually pretty much unconscious. Time passes and then I wake up. Um . . . sometimes I have dreams.” Ava flushed, glad he couldn’t see what she was thinking right then as she remembered her recent dreams. She dreamed of Vox a lot when he first came on board. I don’t want to dream right now. If she closed her eyes, she was worried she would see the blood and bodies again.

Lirell shook his head, not deterred by her brief answer. “But you could be hurt so easily like that. Does no one stand guard?”

Ava shook her head. “No, but we need to feel relaxed to fall asleep. At least I do. If I don’t feel safe then I have a hard time.” Like right now. She didn’t add the last thought.

Lirell nodded, seemingly satisfied with that and asked another question, “Do you know what planet you came from initially?”

Ava shook her head again, wearying of his questions. She answered willingly though, hoping it would make him more likely to answer her questions when she asked. “Not really. My mother said it was called Earth. I didn’t see any pictures at all of it until I came to the Phor ship and they had a few in their files. My mother . . . she didn’t like to talk about it. Earth looked like the solarium here, with plants that grew in the ground. They had funny-looking animals too, you should look in the logs. What about your planet . . . Xai?”

Lirell corrected her pronunciation, stretching out the a in the word. “It is amazing. Full of jungle. These fruits, the yavi, we have fruits like this growing from every tree. So many birds and wildlife. The Tuxa . . .” Lirell flushed a deep purple at the mention of their name. Ava noted the different color, which she was starting to attribute to intense emotions, as he continued, “They didn’t just take the women. Before they took them, they came to our planet and took our animals to resell. We didn’t . . . back then we didn’t understand things coming from the stars, and they were taking creatures from places uninhabited by us. Our planet is very large, and we only occupy a small portion of it.”

“How did you find out they were stealing from you?” Ava’s eyes narrowed as she took in the information.

“We captured some Tuxa. They traveled too close to one of our outposts. After exploring their minds, we learned everything. It was an easy enough task to take over one of their ships and begin to fight back after that happened. We learn fast. The knowledge of others helped leap us forward.”

Ava didn’t need to ask how they obtained the knowledge needed to fight back. “And the women? How were they taken?”

“The Tuxa came and took them before we had our planet’s defenses online. The women liked to live in communal housing when the males were away. We didn’t leave enough warriors at home; we were distracted by attacking them at their outposts. It was a mistake we are rectifying now.”

He shook his head before elaborating, pain evident on his face, “We also didn’t understand how to use our minds as weapons until recently either. Our planet was peaceful. We never needed to do that before.”

He took her hand. “Ava, I do not like killing. We do it fast because we feel their pain. We had to learn to do this. Not all the Vorbax at home are trained like this. It goes against our nature. We mostly eat plants and the eggs of birds.”

Ava didn’t know what to say as he looked at her wide-eyed, seeming to long for understanding. The feelings down in the cargo hold he keyed into must have been overwhelming for him, along with knowing he caused that grief. Unfortunately, Ava could offer no absolution. Death is death.

“We were arrogant,” came a voice from above. Ava looked up at Erox, who was waiting outside of the med bay, listening in on their conversation. “The females paid for our arrogance and ignorance. We assumed that if we left the stars alone, then we would be left alone as well. The Tuxa also swarm in numbers greater than we can break. That is why this mission to retrieve them is dangerous. We can be swarmed if too many appear at once.” He took a breath then spat out, “They compensate for their stupidity with their numbers.”

Vox answered from inside the med bay, door open. “All our male youths have been taught to break minds since birth now. Not all of them are able to get in a deep enough mental state to, but enough can. We are not able to breach all minds either; some species elude us. Regardless, it is enough that we will all be able to protect ourselves and each other going forward.”

Ava startled at his rumbling tone. “Can the females . . . break minds?”

Vox answered, shaking his head slowly, “No. They have tried, but . . .” His voice died off. “It is still being worked on back on Xai. Come, Ava. You have learned more about us. It is time we learn more about you.”

He gestured for Ava to follow him into the med bay. She hesitantly did, her feet making a soft scuffle on the tile floor.

Rhutg was inside the room, already waiting. He wore a scowl as he leaned against the metal shelving, his muscles tensed. Vox and Erox appeared to have washed themselves and put on other clothing, jumpsuits similar to hers. Where they had found them, Ava didn’t really want to know. Not Rhutg though. He remained bloodstained and in the same prisoner outfit Ava had seen when she first met him. He has no remorse. She gave him a wide berth as she walked in the room, knowing he was watching her intently. She tried to ignore he was there.

Her eyes were drawn magnetically to Vox, who smiled slightly in return. His gaze held warmth. “I trust your companions were as we promised, alive and unharmed.”

“Yes, Ebel and Nuor were. Not anyone else though.” Ava winced as she finished speaking and mentally slapped herself. She shouldn’t complain lest she got the two who mattered most to her hurt. She nervously wound her fingers together, cheeks paling from speaking so freely.

Erox answered slowly, “We did not wish for any to be harmed and only attacked those that would not stand down or we could not breach.”

Vox nodded, coming up to reach for her hand before she could respond to Erox. He pried her hands apart, stopping her nervous twitching, and held both between his. His palms felt searing hot next to Ava’s skin. “I feel pain to have caused you distress, Ava. In time, hopefully, you will see our actions in a more benevolent light. We are creatures fighting for our survival, as your species also has needed to do. Would you begrudge fellow Humans for doing what is needed to save their people?”

Ava’s mouth felt cottony. Again, they were lumping Humans in the same category with them. Not knowing what to say, she looked at the scanner in the corner and then back to Vox. The scanner was already powered on, lights bright and ready to work. It was all familiar to Ava, who came up periodically if she didn’t feel well or needed a larger wound tended to. Erox stepped to the side of the chair and motioned for her to come closer.

She took her hands out of Vox’s and started to walk forward before she hesitated. “I have medical scans on file. You can probably look those up.”

“We have,” Erox answered. “They were incomplete for what we need.”

“This will not harm me, correct?”

“Nothing we do will harm you.” Ava looked deep in Erox’s eyes, deciding that he looked sincere. Besides, they have gone out of their way to keep me safe up to this point. With that assurance, Ava walked over to the scanner and sat in the gray fabric chair, resting her hands lightly on the matching arm rests.

The scanner went through its start-up protocol before a green laser flew over her briefly. She saw her insides light up on the screen in front of her, along with her DNA profile. Every scar she had gathered over the years showed up in brighter patches on her skin, showing the thickened areas where it had healed from the heat seal.

Vox walked over to her after the preliminary scan was done and gently zipped down her jumpsuit to expose her midriff with the fabric hanging on both sides covering her breasts. Before Ava could react to his actions, he placed his hand flat on her abdomen so he was being scanned with her. The movement was unexpected. His hand was hot on her stomach and extended across the entirety of her front. Ava felt a flush that was at odds with the simple touch.

Erox looked intently at the screen. Rhutg leaned forward, obviously interested as well, despite his aloofness earlier. Vox’s hand flexed and his blunt fingernails dug in the area right by her belly button. Ava took her eyes away from the sight of his hand on her stomach and looked over at the screen they all were staring at.

Erox had it configured on a setting she had never seen before. She was unable to read all the Phor lettering on the screen. She could read the last alert, though, which appeared in Common on the screen after the scan was completed.

“Compatible.”

Vox did not move his hand off her stomach. Ava turned away from the still-flashing screen and looked at him. He was not looking at her, but all four of them were lit up looking at one another. It didn’t last long, and then they all turned and looked at her almost in unison when they were done, making her scoot back, pressing into the gray fabric chair, at their intensity.

Ava asked quietly, “Compatible for what?” She had a strong suspicion of the answer but wanted to make sure.

Erox answered, glancing down at Vox’s hand still on her stomach as he slowly removed it. “It appears that yours and our species are genetically similar enough to crossbreed.” The words hung in the air.

Ava broke into a cold sweat and quickly zipped her jumpsuit back up. Visions of her mother passed through her mind. Ava was the fifth child her mother had, but not the last. Every year, a new baby would come. A new little sister she would grow to love and then lose, forever to worry about when her mind got too quiet. The very last thing she wanted was anyone interested in her for . . . that.

She got off the chair shakily, nerves jangling. Vox backed up and let her, still staring at her in an unsettling way. “No. I want to go back to my room now. I did what you asked. Please let me go.” She worried that she would now be kept yet again, but in a different way from what the Phor had used her for.

Vox turned to her. “Relax, Ava. Even without looking inside your mind we can see your unease. Sleep will perhaps clear your mind. Nothing will happen to you. I swear it. We are not beasts like that.”

Ava swallowed and nodded tightly. She was not going to ask them what they wanted with her after hearing that news. I will not be a breeder like her. I will not. I WILL NOT. No, she wanted to get out from under their gazes and line of sight and think through everything that had been happening on her own. She’d reached the end of how much she could handle emotionally.

Reaching for a calm voice, she began walking to the doorway. “I can walk myself.”

Vox quickly caught up, flanking her side. “It would make us all more comfortable if we could escort you.”

Lirell also stepped up to accompany her. “Come, Ava.”

Vox let out a low growl and Lirell jumped back, startled. Rhutg and Erox both turned and gazed sharply at Vox, who didn’t wait and walked forward toward the door.

“Careful, Vox,” she heard Rhutg mutter.

“He got his answer,” Erox answered softly.

Vox didn’t seem to listen. He stopped halfway to the door and looked back at Ava to see if she would follow.

Ava did, wanting to get out of the med bay as fast as she could.

Around halfway to her room, Vox turned around and walked toward her, crowding her. Ava stepped backward until her back hit the wall next to one of the pin pads that opened a door leading to a flight of stairs.

Vox stepped even closer, sticking his face down low near the front of her outfit and inhaling deeply. Ava’s back was pushed flush against the metal wall.

“It is no wonder you smell the way you do.”

Ava’s heart beat fast, both from fear and feeling aroused. She couldn’t make sense of the conflicting emotions. After what she just heard though, him coming this close was not welcome right now.

A slip of fear ran down her back. Get back, get back.

Vox frowned, but halted nonetheless.

Ava pushed him back, roughly. He moved easily, giving her space, an uncertain frown on his face. She spoke as she pushed him. “I don’t know what to think of all of this. I . . . you said your females can mate with anyone. Isn’t that the same . . . ?”

Vox shook his head. “No. The females are, but our males can only mate with other Vorbax. Before . . .” He let the thought hang and silence moved in. Ava shifted her feet in the silence.

“Vox?” Ava questioned when he didn’t say anything.

He looked up into her eyes and began shining. Ava felt a touch on her mind, but it prompted anger instead of cowing her like it did before. No more.

“Please stop. I don’t like when you do . . . when you reach into me whenever you want. I . . . don’t know how to stop you. It doesn’t feel good. Just talk with me and stop.”

Vox exhaled deeply and returned to his normal color. “It enriches our talks when I can feel more internally. I wish to understand you. All of you. Your words are not enough.”

“I can’t feel you the same way. It is too one-sided.” Ava put her hands out in a stopping motion just short of pushing on his chest again.

Vox frowned, considering. “Very well. Our females never seem to mind the intrusion.”

“Can they participate, though?”

Vox tilted his head. “I can see the imbalance. I apologize. It is not something we have had to think twice about before.”

Ava nodded, looking down, mollified by his apology.

When Vox still did not move away, she looked up into his eyes. They looked soft and vulnerable, not scary at all. She sighed. She didn’t feel threatened by him. Not anymore.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling anyway, Vox . . . I think I just need to sleep. In the med bay . . . I don’t even know what to think about what happened there. I think we are almost to Torga, right? What are you planning on doing?”

His eyes narrowed. “With the mission? Proceed as normal. With you? I do not know.”

Ava swallowed, pushing his statement aside. I don’t know what I want either. “What about the rest of the crew?”

“They will be kept alive in case we need them. If all goes well, we will release the ship to them once we have our females. We do not need the ship beyond safe passage back. Contrary to recent events, we do not enjoy unnecessary bloodshed.”

He looked closer at her. “You do look tired. No one will force you to do anything you do not want. Erox communicated there is a block on your fertility, Ava. You need not worry about any kits being forced on you.”

Ava breathed out in a rush. “How do you know there is a block?”

“That would require more tests to figure out, but regardless, as you are no one can make you bear young.” He caught her eye as she looked away. “No Vorbax male has ever forced a female. It would be a despicable thing. You are safe with us. We are not Tuxa.” He paused, meeting her gaze. “I promise.”

She nodded, relief flowing through her. He looked at her with sincerity. She believed him.

With one more close look at her, Vox lifted himself off the wall and walked her into the crewmate’s room she had rested in earlier. He left just as quickly, saying he would be back in a few moments.

Ava sat gratefully in the bed, happy to be alone, and put her head in her hands. The patchwork blanket she brought from the engine hall was sitting on the edge of the bed. She grabbed it, fluffed it out, and wrapped herself tightly in it. She didn’t know when Vox would be back but put it out of her mind.

The simple act of being alone with the blanket she had snuggled underneath for so many years comforted her enough that she finally began crying in earnest.

Yes, something was happening. Yes, she might no longer be a servant. Yes, Wert was dead. Yes, it was too much at once. What am I doing here?

Tears gave way to giant, shuddering sobs. She hadn’t cried this hard since her first few nights here on the Phor transport ship when everything was so new and different. She had never been away from her mother and other Humans before and the translator in her head back then . . . she remembered it aching so badly while she got used to it.

Everything was changing again. Just like how everything changed before back then, when she lost her family and came here to work.

Ava was crying so hard she was shaking, wrapped tightly in the familiar blanket. Back then, she remembered Ebel had walked over and had wrapped his furry arms around her and she felt . . .

Arms wrapped around her. Ava gave a start in her patchwork blanket but didn’t move further, just wiped her nose on the outer corner of the fabric. She didn’t know when Vox had walked back in but his arms were stronger than Ebel’s ever were.