12. Chapter 12

The announcements were turned off. That was the first thing Ava noticed after settling in the crew room she claimed on the top level by the navigation area. For the first time since she got on the ship, there were no intercom announcements helping her keep track of time, or interrupting what she was doing.

She’d shoved the previous occupants’ belongings under the bed, out of sight. Ava couldn’t deal with looking at them and attempting to figure out which of the contractors’ rooms this was before. Looking at those items would make it more real and feel like spirits were in the room with her.

It was quiet. Not only was it the absence of the engine that was her usual constant background noise, but there was no chatter in the halls.

She hummed idly to herself, an old lullaby her mother used to croon to her and her sisters in their room when she couldn’t fall asleep and whenever she was upset.

Ava experimented turning off the light before flipping the lights back on immediately. She never had darkness in the engine hall. It unnerved her as much as she was curious. The void of darkness made her feel like she didn’t exist. Even when she lived with her mother, the lights would turn low, but never completely off.

Feeling bored and bold, she flipped them off and tried to walk away from the light switch before getting scared she couldn’t find her way back. Her hand groped back out and clicked it decidedly back on after a few seconds of fear. She breathed slowly, chiding herself at her reaction, but ultimately left the lights on at a low level like she remembered with her mother. It didn’t feel safe to have them fully turned off.

Ava found herself tapping her foot to add some sound after her lullaby failed to soothe her but it ended up making her even more nervous. It was so quiet out in the halls. The attack must have stopped.

Ava put her head in her hands, forcing herself to think. Is this a Phor ship anymore if the Vorbax took it over? Am I still a servant of the Phor? She was sitting here while life and death decisions were going on outside around her. Decisions that impacted her entire life.

What am I now? What am I going to do after this?The questions made her heart race.

Am I upset the ship has been taken over?

That thought took center stage in her mind. Ava turned it over and over, feeling guilt thinking about it. She was not upset. She was scared about the bloodshed and worried for her friends, but beyond that?

Is it wrong that I don’t feel upset? Her heart pounded. Is it wrong I feel . . . excited? Her emotions swirled.

Deep in the recesses of her mind, a dark voice whispered. They all deserved it. She shook that thought away, unhappy with the negative emotions it brought. She bounced her legs on the floor to soothe herself as she crooned the lullaby once again.

How long do I have to stay here?Ava sighed heavily and looked around the sparse white room.

Vox didn’t say what was going to happen after depositing her in the room with her meager possessions, telling her to wait. Her com didn’t even work so she didn’t know how long it had been, yet she still spun it around her wrist out of habit. She for damn sure didn’t want to leave the room while they were still on a murderous rampage.

Ava flopped back on the actual bed in the room, much more comfortable than the pallet she had been using all these years. She was tired but there was no way she would be able to sleep right now. If the ship was normal, she would have strolled up to the med bay and gotten a sedative. Instead she laid back and played with her hands in the light, making shadows on the wall.

She huffed out her breath, her thoughts continually returning to Vox. He’d done all that to the crew but she still, despite herself, felt attracted to him.

What is wrong with me?She wanted to see him, all of him. Her body flushed at the thought. She was acting lovesick and foolish in a way she’d only read about before in her books. He was responsible for killing so many creatures and yet she kept hoping for him to reappear at her door, to come talk with her longer now that they didn’t have barriers in between them. She was so mixed up inside.

Ava decided to take a shower to pass the time and calm her nerves. She took off the thermal suit and stuffed it in the closet. That, at least, was probably the last time she was going to have to wear it. She stared at herself in the mirror as she stepped out after, dripping wet, noting how hollow her expression looked. Her face looked as uncertain as she felt. She put on a clean cloth jumpsuit after she dried off, humming her lullaby again to add some noise. Anything to distract herself.

It was still quiet outside her room. Ava put her ear against the metal paneling to see if she could hear anything from the outside, but she could only hear a low hum from the electrical systems running throughout the ship, powered by the biologics.

After another few minutes of pulling her hair and being frustrated Ava decided she was going to go get a sedative from med bay. There had been no noise outside for quite some time and she needed to know what was going on. It was as good an excuse as any to leave. Sitting idle in here was not good for her mentally. Besides, if they wanted to harm me, I would already be dead.

Having made her decision, there was no longer any hesitation. She opened the door and walked into the hall. Immediately, her resolve wavered as she looked down the path to the navigation room.

Nuor.

If it was still quiet when she got back she would take a peek inside even though Vox said she was now in the cargo bay. She could at least look to get a clue as to what happened to everyone else. Hopefully with Vox seeing that neither she nor Nuor were a threat maybe she would get a chance to see her friend for herself before too long.

What were they going to do with the innocent crew members anyways? Ava added that question to the list of ones she had to ask Vox the next time she saw him.

Ava walked slowly down the long hall to the med bay. She pushed the pinpad and opened the door to the room, immediately seeing Erox and Lirell, standing there with vials in hand, obviously conversing telepathically with each other.

Lirell had a gash on his arm that Erox seemed to be in the middle of healing, holding the heat seal to it that Ava had used countless times before. Lirell had a pained look on his face as the seal worked, fusing the skin in a zipper format.

“Yes, Ava?” Erox asked, still holding the seal calmly to the shrinking gash on Lirell. He didn’t even need to turn around to know that it was her. “You are not supposed to wander.”

“I was . . . I am not. I wanted to get something to help me sleep. It’s been a trying cycle. I didn’t know you’d be here.” She shifted her feet nervously while watching Erox work, noting that Vorbax blood was red in color as some dripped down Lirell’s arm where the gash was still open.

Erox turned back to Lirell and repositioned him before continuing to seal the wound, ignoring Ava for the moment. She watched him take his time, sealing it carefully so not even a thin scar remained.

After it was done, Lirell jumped up off the counter, seeming eager to help Ava.

Erox flashed a deeper purple watching him. The dark purple was a different color than the other times she saw them glow. It was usually a shade of blue, though she’d seen Vox flash purple once before. Yet another thing to ask Vox about. What did the different colors signify?

Before Erox could say something, Lirell was rummaging through an open cabinet that had obviously been ransacked before she entered. He emerged, holding a row of round sleeping patches in his hand. He found them so easily that Ava figured those must be universal and not just Phor technology.

He broke one off and handed it to Ava, inhaling deeply when he did. His eyes widened.

“You smell . . . different.”

Ava stepped back. “Different? Yeah, I took a shower. Oh, and I’m just wearing my work clothes, not the thermal suit.”

Lirell stepped closer and sniffed again. Erox placed the heat seal on the counter behind him and joined Lirell as he moved closer to her, interested. They stood a moment and circled her, sniffing. It was unnerving.

Ava stepped back toward the doorway until she stepped into a hard surface. Spinning around, she saw she had run into Vox’s chest, who had come up behind her.

Instead of moving away, Vox dipped his head over her shoulder and breathed in deep. He must have come in while Lirell was getting the sleeping patch. Ava would put credits on it that when they were glowing they had called for him to come help mind her as well.

Vox reached out a long hand, touching the top of her hair bun, and fingered her hair before he smelled her again.

Ava felt uncomfortable and stepped forward out of his hold, putting the hair that fell out of her bun behind her ears.

All three of them were glowing and looking at each other. Ava stepped away and stood awkwardly to the side, not privy to their conversation, nervously rubbing the sedative patches in her hand.

Vox turned his amber eyes to her. “You are very similar to us in composition. Even your pheromones are similar now without that suit. Would you consent to let us take a look?” He motioned to the scanner to the side in the med bay.

“Just a scan?”

Erox nodded.

Ava had been in here countless times and had various medical fixes done to her. She didn’t really understand what they were wanting to do differently with the same equipment. There were scans already in the files that documented every part of her.

And yet . . . the Vorbax looked at her intensely. All of them, minus Rhutg, stared at her now with intense eyes and tense postures. It was clear they wanted her consent to do this. It was the first bargaining tool she had. Her consent. Ava took a moment to process how to use this unexpected leverage, crossing her arms as she looked at them.

“I want to see Nuor. And Ebel. Then in return, yes, you can run a few tests if you want.”

Vox spoke aloud, needing his hands and mental concentration to sort through the medical supplies in the infirmary. He was focusing too much to use his meditative state. “The Humans are similar to our composition.”

Erox stilled, hands deep in inspecting the vials on the shelves. “They are. But they are not Vorbax.”

Vox frowned. “They are not, but they are too similar to be ignored. The female, Ava . . . Erox, she is . . .” He struggled to put the growing feeling he had toward her into words, the protective instinct that was beginning to assert itself. Had already asserted itself.

“I know. I felt the call as well. Not as strongly as you, it seems.” He glanced at Vox. “You do remember your intended is one of the Vorbax we are rescuing?”

That contract had been drawn up ages ago. That was the main reason Vox was here instead of another Vorbax, in addition to having a strong meditative state for combat. Rescuing his intended was more than enough of an excuse to finally engage in warfare and rip as many Tuxa apart as possible. But at the end of the day, that was just a contract. One that didn’t need to be fulfilled if circumstances change.

“I do remember. That is why I allowed Lirell to take Ava to see the crew.” Instead of himself. He knew he was becoming more attached the longer he spent around her. It was better to limit contact when possible. She’d intrigued him from the first moment he sensed her in the vent above, and that feeling had only intensified the more he understood her. Ava was . . . his mouth felt bitter thinking of the life she’d led up to this point. Who would do that to a female like her? He wanted to see her free, not crawling in dirty vents above their heads.

It was too late. He slipped into his meditation, shining softly. “I already am partial to her.”

“Hmm . . .” Erox replied.

His brother would not scold him. Despite appearing indifferent, Erox was interested in the Human as well. There were not enough Vorbax females to go around after the war broke out. They lost so many so quickly, with the females being defenseless. Vox briefly flushed deep purple in remembrance.

He looked over at the pile of sedatives. Erox would take them down to drug the remaining Tuxa until there was need for them. He could, of course, continue to hold their puny minds, keeping them sedated that way until they were broken, but that took energy that was better put to other uses. The Tuxa also expired quickly once their minds were broken.

He looked over at the other supplies they had gathered. A small fortune of first aid materials to carry for when they found the females, and to potentially resell if there was any need for credits. That was another distasteful thing about life outside in the stars. Credits were important, and for the Vorbax it was a hard concept to grasp that having them meant power in case they were needed. But it was good to be prepared.

Thankfully the Phor ship clearly felt the same way with the ample stock of supplies kept on board.

He kept his hands busy, but his thoughts kept returning to Ava. His twin hearts thrilled as he thought of her, smiling, on his home planet, standing next to the bayva fields on his land. Longing flooded his system. He closed his eyes as he dreamed. There we would forget the stars.

Together.

He glanced at his brother, gauging his reaction to that thought. Erox kept sorting. He didn’t think his brother had caught his lovesick thoughts before Erox said, “Let us see what the tests say before you plan too hard.”

“Nuor!” Ava cried out when she saw her friend, practically skipping toward her. The crew still alive was being held in the cargo bay hall, in the main area that was normally depressurized. The oxygen was restored and the side panels were open, in the process of being scavenged by Lirell, who had returned to his exploration after bringing Ava into the room. The yavi trees were pulled out of the side compartments completely, some fruit lying on the ground.

There were six individuals in the cargo bay, all Phor plus Nuor. She was the only contractor still alive. Nuor gave a wan smile from where she was sitting and moved to rise, her feathers dull and listless. It only took a moment before Ava, scanning the room, recognized the Phor sitting right next to Nuor.

“Ebel!” she cried out. Ava ran up to them both and threw an arm around each of her friends, taking deep breaths while dragging them both together. She didn’t even bother to wipe the tears that flowed as she held them. Her relief in seeing them both made her arms shake. Lirell continued opening crates while he observed them. She could see him turning on and off, reminding her of the nature feeds she’d seen of an Earth insect called a firefly, sampling the emotions around him while eating one of the yavi fruits.

Ava looked around, inspecting the hall for any others familiar to her. She did not have any ties to the other four Phor still alive, who watched her unite with her friends listlessly. They were ones that handled any grunt work needed outside of the engine hall. The collective rotated general Phor workers frequently so she didn’t know them. Only the skilled got permanent positions like Ebel.

She looked over the remaining unfamiliar Phor before she asked Nuor and Ebel quietly, “Where is Wert?”

Ebel looked down, fangs quivering. He looked absolutely lost, his body curling in on itself. “Wert would not stand down when they went . . . for the queen.”

Ava felt mucus in her throat get caught, realizing the implication. Her relief at seeing her friends hit a wall with the fresh wave of grief. The Vorbax were not all civil, as much as she kept seeming to forget. “He’s dead?” she asked, just to make sure, her voice rising on the question in shock. Ebel nodded. Nuor did as well. Both their faces gave matched expressions of grief. Ebel’s antennas were low and Nuor tilted her head down in mourning. Ava’s hands shook, chills racing up her spine.

“Oh no,” Ava started, hugging Ebel closer and sticking her face into his furry neck. “I’m so sorry, Ebel.” Nuor patted her back as tears started to fall for Wert. “Have you been harmed at all?” Ava asked both of them. Her voice was muffled from being in Ebel’s fur.

“No, other than being confused as heck and scared out of our minds,” Nuor replied. Ebel nodded. He looked so dejected and at a loss for words.

Ava let go of Nuor and hugged him harder. He clicked and hugged her back, fuzzy body shaking. Nuor looked shaken, but not to the same degree Ebel did. She didn’t lose anyone she loved like he had. Friends among the contractors and Phor, maybe, but no close connections.

Ava knew that the death of the queen, on some level, must have destroyed a large part of Ebel. Even bigger than Wert, which made grief swim inside her. Ava pushed the feelings aside, breathing hard until she got control over herself. Grieving would need to happen later. Alone. Right now she needed to focus on her friends and her next steps toward getting them to safety. Could she get them to safety? She at least needed to try. The Vorbax listened to her and had bargained with her once already, so maybe she could figure out a way to have it happen again.

“It seems you’re in a different category than us, Ava,” Nuor said softly, voice trilling after Ava let go of Ebel and stood back to look at her sadly. “You’re not imprisoned down here like us. Unless you’re coming to stay?”

Ava glanced back to Lirell who stood stone-still, watching her talk with her friends. He was not even pretending to give them any privacy as he leaned against a side panel eating a yavi fruit. Captor or friend? He was fulfilling both roles at once.

“No, I don’t think I am. I don’t really understand any of it. They gave me a room by navigation and are sort of just leaving me alone.”

“Hmmm.” Nuor’s eyes narrowed. “What do they want with you?”

Ava hesitated before answering, “I think I remind them of the females they have on their planet. They want to run some tests on me. I said they could if they let me come see you.”

Nuor went quiet, obviously thinking. Ebel turned his head to Ava, antennas still low, his fangs sweating a diluted acid from the stress. “Don’t trust them. Look at what they did to Wert and the others,” he spat out, convex eyes straying toward Lirell, who took another bite of fruit.

Ava nodded absently. She knew he was right to feel the way he did, even though she had mixed feelings herself. But she didn’t contradict Ebel, not wanting to argue. She for sure didn’t want to share with him that a part of her had hope that this might lead to something better for her. That hope was in contrast with the pain she felt for Wert. Her thoughts were so jumbled.

She continued to pat his back while her own mind spun. She was so confused by her conflicting emotions. She felt emotional pain for Wert being gone, and Ebel’s distress, but it felt muted.

Why don’t I feel more? She questioned herself, seeing Ebel’s devastated reaction. Is there something wrong with me? Ava was not devastated as much as she felt unhinged. It was almost like she was viewing the scene as an outsider rather than directly involved, with a sense of detachment. Guilt flooded through her at her own reaction. Maybe this was normal for Humans too. She remembered her mother becoming detached sometimes, not responding. Back then, Ava truly did not understand or know what was happening since she was still a child.

Frowning, Ava turned to Nuor. “Have they said what they want with you?” Did they mention they would release you?

Nuor shook her head, feathers rustling. “We have not been down here long. That one,” she said, motioning to Lirell. “He brought us some rations soon after putting us here. We’ve then been left alone until you came in. No one has told us anything about their intentions or what is going on.”

“They are on a mission to rescue their females,” Ava shared, happy she was able to clear something up for them while changing the topic. “The Tuxa have stolen a group of them and they are planning to get them back. Us and our ship are just . . . the way they’re doing that.”

“So they are still going to Torga? Only now it’s going to be a battle when we get there?” Nuor asked. Ebel listened but didn’t say anything, antennas plastered to his head.

Ava breathed out heavily. “I don’t know. They haven’t shared any of their plans beyond that. I think we’re it . . . of the crew alive.”

Nuor sat back and hummed a low melodic tone. She looked pale under the fluorescent lighting. Ava could see the stress on her face.

What can I do to help them? Maybe if they wanted the medical tests badly enough, Ava could arrange some sort of escape for her friends and herself. Ava ran through what else she could offer or bargain with. Maybe Phor technology knowledge? Ava avoided Ebel’s eyes a moment, guilt flooding her with that thought. It felt traitorous to think that, especially right now in front of Ebel, but if it got them out alive . . .

What am I even thinking?The way these creatures could read minds, they probably knew everything worthwhile already. She needed to learn more about how they read minds. Could they just access any memory at will, or did she have to be actively thinking of something? Like earlier, when she thought of the Human women and Lirell saw them in her head. Maybe if she just didn’t think about any of her plans or anything she wanted to keep hidden around them . . . but that would be exhausting.

She turned back and saw Lirell picking up a few more yavi fruits to eat, for once not shining. Ava resolved to ask him some questions when he walked her back to the med bay.

Ava looked at her friends and at the other four Phor still alive. They all looked just as dejected and lost as Ebel. The Vorbax might have a noble cause, but they had harmed innocent bystanders for their plan. Ava couldn’t reconcile the violent actions with the same Vorbax who were so polite and kind to her as she served them when they were pretending to be prisoners. They still treated her cordially, even now, as if she was an equal.

Ava revised her musings. Well, not all of them. She absolutely could see Rhutg capable of all the violence remembering his treatment of her in the vents. Vox she even considered a friend, or something potentially more than that at times. She felt an attraction toward him that almost made her feel ashamed. How could she feel that way toward them and then stand here and see the Phor suffering firsthand? It was . . . everything was . . . exhausting.

She took Nuor’s and Ebel’s hands in hers. “I will do what I can.” Ava looked at them both with sincerity. She’d help them. That much at least was clear to her.

Nuor gave Ava a brief hug again. “I know you will. Just be smart up there with them.”

Ebel didn’t answer; he just gave her hand an extra squeeze.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Lirell was not rushing her, but she did not think it would be wise to linger down here much longer. Ava gave Ebel one more side-armed hug and then went back to Lirell, who followed her back out of the cargo bay, locking it after they left.