Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

I was drowning.

The water seeped into my lungs, and my body ached as I desperately tried to keep my head above water, but it was so difficult. It took so much strength and willpower–both of which I felt like I didn’t have right now.

The more time that passed, the more sure I became that I wouldn’t make it out of the water alive.

This was where I was going to die.

I could feel it. Death. Seeping into my body through my nose and lungs, slowly taking me away from Viktor and Kis.

I tried to fight, kick, and swim back up to the surface, but I could feel myself sinking lower and lower as if something was pulling me deeper into the water. I tried to keep my eyes open, but my body failed me.

People said that their lives flashed in front of their eyes when they were on the verge of death, but all I could think about was all the things I had yet to do. Viktor and I hadn’t experienced life on land properly yet. We hadn’t spent enough mornings laying in and just talking. We were yet to celebrate big moments like an anniversary or the birth of our first child. There was still so much more sex and love for us to have. Things were still so new between us that we hadn’t even had a proper argument yet!

There was still so much more for Viktor and me to do…so much more of him to learn and love, but time had been robbed from us. From me .

My heart ached at what Viktor would go through when Jerrik returned to The Serpent with the terrible news.

I couldn’t formulate any coherent thoughts after that. My mind became jumbled, and I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t fight the sea anymore as it sucked me deeper and deeper.

My lips turned up at the corners as I thought of my love, my husband, my pirate, my Viktor…

It was a beautiful way to go.

“Astrid!” I heard someone call out, and a hand grasped my shoulder, shaking me frantically. “Astrid!”

I groaned and shifted my head. Something pressed down on my chest, and I felt myself surge forward. My body forced itself into a sitting position, and I threw up water over the side of the boat.

My chest ached, and I spluttered water everywhere. It was disgusting and far from attractive, but I was too far gone to care.

I placed my hands on either side of the boat, trying to steady myself and gather my bearings.

“Can you hear me, Astrid?” The same voice from before called out to me again, but I was still coughing haphazardly.

“Jerrik?” I croaked, my breathing rapid. “What happened?”

Jerrik ignored my question. “How are you feeling, Astrid?” He asked, his eyes wide, frantic and concerned as he stared at me.

“A little rough,” I admitted in a small, croaky voice. My chest burned when I spoke, but I was just grateful to be alive right now. “What happened?”

“You nearly drowned,” he told me with a gulp, his eyes still shining with fear. “I heard you screaming, so I rushed back. You were drowning, barely visible anymore. I pulled you out of the water.”

“Thank you for saving me,” I whispered to Jerrik. I tried to keep myself in check, not wanting to reveal just how rattled I felt, but when the urge became overwhelming and I couldn’t fight it anymore, I wrapped my arms around him in a tight, grateful hug. “Thank you for pulling me out of the water, Jerrik. I thought I was going to die.”

“I couldn’t let that happen,” Jerrik sniffled and buried his face in my hair, the embrace reminding me of Dustin’s hugs. “I know we don’t know each other very well yet, Astrid, but you’re like a little sister to me. It’s been nice having you around the ship. I was so scared when I heard your screams and came back to see you submerged in the water, already a few feet under.” His eyes didn’t meet mine. Instead, he turned away from me and rubbed his thumbs under his eyes, trying to stifle his sniffles. “If something happened to you, I never would have been able to face Viktor.”

Jerrik turned back to me once his tears had ceased–I think I was still too in shock to cry–but his gaze settled on something over my shoulder, and his face hardened. I was still struggling to register everything that had happened when Jerrik suddenly leapt around me.

One moment, we were sat in silence, and the next, Jerrik’s hands were around Crosby’s throat.

Crosby gagged and scratched at Jerrik’s face, trying to save himself, but Jerrik was far too strong. His grip around Crosby’s neck tightened, and as if it wasn’t enough for him, he forced Crosby’s head over the side of the boat and underwater–giving him a taste of what he had done to me.

But as much as I hated Crosby for what he had nearly done to me, I couldn’t let that happen.

“Jerrik, no!” I exclaimed, rushing over to make him let go of Crosby. “What are you doing? Let him go!”

I wasn’t nearly strong enough to physically stop Jerrik, and my flailing hands had little effect on him, but my begging and pleading must have done something because he cursed and dropped his hands abruptly. Crosby violently gasped for breath, still leaning over the side of the boat.

“That’s nothing close to what Viktor and the rest of the crew are going to do to him when we get back,” Jerrik growled and reached for an oar.

I gulped at his words but couldn’t help but agree. I was almost afraid of what Viktor was going to do to Crosby once he heard of how he pushed me off the boat and didn’t help me when I was drowning. If it weren’t for Jerrik’s attempts to resuscitate me, I would be dead right now, and it would have been all Crosby’s fault.

Jerrik made a point of sitting between me and Crosby on the way back to The Serpent. Perhaps it was a little over the top, but I was grateful. There was a dark side to Crosby I had never noticed before.

How could he push me off the boat and leave me to drown when I was begging for help?

How could he be so heartless?

It felt like we had been rowing forever, but the outline of The Serpent had only just come into view.

“Enid would like you,” Jerrik suddenly said.

Enid was Jerrik’s wife.

“How long have you been married?” I asked.

“Twelve years.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

I remember Jerrik and Enid’s wedding. I didn’t know Enid very well, but Jerrik’s parents didn’t live too far away from where my parents lived. I was just a child when they married, but I remembered how beautiful the night sky and the full moon were that day. Everyone said it was good luck, and I guess it was since they had now been married twelve years.

“I don’t know if you remember, but you danced until your father dragged you home,” Jerrik laughed. “Whenever I look at you, I remember that little girl dancing to her heart’s content, uncaring of what people had to say or think. Enid is very much like that. Never one to care what others have to say about her or us.”

“I would love to have tea with her when we return to Jorvik. She sounds like great fun.”

“She is,” he sighed wistfully, no doubt missing his wife. I couldn’t fathom how difficult it must be for the crew to leave behind their families for so long.

Those few days when I thought Viktor would leave me behind had been torturous, and the morning he was set to sail was even worse. I couldn’t imagine how I would have felt if he actually left me behind.

It would have been nothing short of torturous.

“We’ve been trying to have a child for our entire marriage,” he whispered into the darkness of the evening. With how distant his voice was, I couldn’t tell if he was talking to me or himself. “It was fine at first, but I feel like I’ve failed my Enid these past few years. She loves children and wants one of her own, but I can’t give her one. I think something is wrong with me.”

“I’m sorry, Jerrik,” I whispered back, unsure how to navigate this very sensitive situation. “I can’t imagine how difficult that must be for you both, but there might not be something wrong with you or Enid. Sometimes, these things take time.”

“I keep telling myself that, but it’s nice to hear it from someone else,” Jerrik exhaled deeply as if the weight of the entire world had been on his shoulders. “I just want to give my Edin a child. It’s the only thing she’s asked from me, and I can’t give it to her. It makes me feel like such a failure.”

“You’ll get there,” I assured him, even though my heart broke for him and Enid. “Babies are made out of love, and it’s clear that you love your wife very much. I’m sorry you two have to wait so long for your baby. I know it’ll be worth it, and I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you.” I would also keep them in my prayers, but I didn’t say it out loud. I didn’t know where Jerrik and Enid were with their faith in God for not being granted a child after so long.

“Thank you, Astrid. I appreciate that,” Jerrik chuckled, but there was a tinge of sadness to the sound. “Viktor is so much more than just my Captain, and I know it’s the same for the rest of the crew. He’s like a brother to me. Over the years, he’s become a significant part of my life, and I’m so grateful that he has you now. I’ve always noticed how lonely he looked when he thought no one was watching him, but he’s got you now, and he doesn’t look lonely anymore.”

“Thank you, Jerrik.” His words warmed my heart, and my lips stretched into a wide smile. “And once again, thank you for saving me. I was so scared that I was going to die.”

I didn’t tell him that I felt ready to die. That I had accepted the fate I didn’t think I could escape.

“You don’t need to thank me for that, Astrid. If it were someone else from the crew in my place, they would have done the same thing. You’re one of us now, and we look after each other.” His words meant so much more to me than he could ever imagine. “My only regret was that I was na?ve enough to leave you alone with Crosby in the first place. If I hadn’t left, you wouldn’t have nearly drowned.”

“It’s not your fault,” I was quick to deny.

There was no way either of us could know that Crosby would have tried to kill me.

Jerrik and I continued chatting as we rowed, though it became difficult to talk and row when my arms ached. Thankfully, Jerrik didn’t seem to mind and was happy to talk for us both, and I was grateful for the distraction.

A loud sigh of relief escaped me as we sided up next to The Serpent, and I moved quickly to attach the chain to my end of the boat. Crosby, however, didn’t work as quickly. Instead, he seemed to be dragging his feet and even waited until Jerrik and I stepped back onto the ship before he even stood up.

One look at Viktor and I knew he had been waiting–and worrying–for us to get back. I didn’t blame him. The sky had already gotten dark, and we were no doubt late for dinner.

Once the rowboat was back on the ship, I threw myself into Viktor’s awaiting arms. I pressed my face into his chest, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me, squeezing me tight. I felt all the worry and anxiety of us being separated from him all day melt away in a deep exhale.

I should have known better than to run into Viktor’s arms like that, but I couldn’t help myself. After the initial relief of being reunited passed, I knew he could sense something was wrong.

“Your dress is so wet it could probably drown you,” Viktor chuckled, but his words didn’t have the effect he probably intended.

Instead of laughing, I stiffened–the confirmation he needed.

“Jerrik? Astrid?” Viktor called out in a dark, grave tone, watching us both carefully. “What happened out there?”