Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

I was proud to say that I caught our first fish. It wasn’t particularly big or meaty, but it was our only one at the moment, and the slight smile on Jerrik’s face when I presented it to him, pierced on the sharp end of my spear, told me that he was proud of me. And that meant a lot to me.

A long stretch of time passed before Jerrik caught our next fish, and then it felt like we were on a roll. Jerrik caught four more fish, all larger than mine, before I caught my second. Crosby hadn’t caught any yet.

The seven fish meant that we were doing better than we had these past few days, but it still wasn’t much. It was just about enough to last for today and tomorrow.

“I’m going to get into the water,” Jerrik said. “This spot is good, but the boat might be scaring off the bigger fish. Will you two be okay here without me?”

“We will,” I assured him.

When Jerrik leapt into the water, he splashed us. I playfully threw a handful of water at him in retaliation, and he swam away, laughing to himself.

At this point, the skirt of my dress had already been soaked several times. Hopefully, Gustav would be kind enough to warm some water for us when we returned to The Serpent so we could wash with it. The last thing I wanted was to catch a cold.

I watched as Jerrik swam away from us like a pro. My eyes remained trained on him the whole time, watching as he got smaller and smaller until I had to squint to be able to make out the shape of him.

And then I was alone with Crosby.

Not wanting it to be awkward, I shifted to Jerrik’s plank, now facing Crosby.

“I’m not very good at this,” he chuckled, his tone melancholy.

“I’m not very good at it either.” I shrugged, keeping my eyes trained on the water for any unsuspecting fish unfortunate enough to swim near us.

“You’ve caught two already. That’s more than me,” he pointed out.

“You’ll get the hang of it,” I tried to assure him. “You just need to concentrate harder and spear the fish faster. Your reactions are a little slow, but you’ll get the hang of it with more practice.”

“Does Viktor have faster reactions than me?” Crosby suddenly asked, catching me off guard with the strange question.

My lips parted in surprise, and I stared at him with wide, unblinking eyes until I finally managed, “What?”

“Is Viktor faster than me?”

“I don’t know what you mean by that.”

“Forget it,” he pursed his lips and shook his head.

My lips tugged down into a deep drown as I blinked at him for a few moments before I forced myself to drag my eyes away. I didn’t know what Crosby meant by the strange questions and wasn’t about to ask. With Jerrik far away, I didn’t want to encourage any more bizarre behaviour from him.

It was a while later before we saw any more action. My eyes widened when I spotted a seemingly innocent fish swimming toward us, casually going about its day. Unfortunately for it, but luckily for us, I quickly sprung into action. Just like Jerrik had taught us, I pointed the spear at the water and held my breath–that part Jerrik hadn’t taught me–as I waited for the fish to get closer.

I counted to three in my head before stabbing the spear through the fish. I had aimed for the body but missed it. Luckily, I snagged it by the tail instead. The fish dangled in the air as it flailed about in a desperate attempt to save itself, but I quickly reached out and held my hand underneath it as I brought it into the boat. This one was still alive, so I dropped it into the bucket with the other living fish. Crosby quickly slapped the lid over the bucket before it could flop out, and we both exhaled in relief.

“That’s eight now,” I grinned.

“You did great, Astrid. Well done.”

“Thank you.”

We both fell back into an unsettling silence as we kept our eyes on the water for the next unsuspecting fish. Well, I kept my eyes on the water, and Crosby kept his eyes on me, which made me very uncomfortable.

“Astrid?”

“Yes?” I remained staring at the water, looking for more fish.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you say yes to him and no to me?” Crosby asked, catching me off guard with yet another inappropriate question. “What about Viktor made you say yes to him over me?”

“I don’t like where this is going, Crosby.” I shifted uncomfortably on the plank, but there was nowhere for me to go. Not unless I wanted to get into the water and swim over to Jerrik. If I were a stronger swimmer, I would have just to escape this awkwardness with Crosby. “Now isn’t the time to speak about this.”

“Why not?” He snapped, his eyes burning with suppressed rage. “That day when you said no to me, you ruined my life.”

My lips parted in shock. “That’s not fair.”

“You ruined my life, and we both know it! Why can’t you admit it?”

A small flame lit inside me, burning fast. “How can you say that?” I scoffed. “You sound like a petulant child, Crosby. I didn’t ruin your life. I turned down your offer of marriage because I didn’t want to marry you. It’s as simple as that.”

Crosby continued like I hadn’t said anything. “If you had just accepted my offer of marriage, then Chara would have never come forward about her pregnancy, and I wouldn’t have been forced to marry her.”

“You shouldn’t have gotten her pregnant in the first place!”

“I wouldn’t have gotten her pregnant if you gave me the time of day.”

I rolled my eyes. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It makes perfect sense, but you’re so oblivious, Astrid!” He sneered. “I’ve had feelings for you forever, but you’ve never looked at me twice. You’ve only ever had eyes for Viktor, even when he mistreated you.”

My eyes narrowed, offended. “Don’t speak like you know us.”

“But I know you, Astrid. I know you more than Viktor does. More than he’ll ever know you.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t speak down to me like that. Just because you’re blind to my feelings for you doesn’t mean that they matter less.”

“I don’t know why you’re bringing this up now, Crosby. I’m already married to Viktor. You’re too late.” And thank God for that!

“You could have saved me from this mess if you simply said yes,” Crosby said, ignoring what I had just said. “I was the one that planned to marry you first. Viktor just got there before me, so you said yes to him.”

“That’s absurd,” I scoffed. “I didn’t say yes to Viktor because he was the first to propose.”

“Then why did you say yes to him over me?”

“Because I could see that he loved me, and honestly, I liked him as well. I could see myself falling in love with him. We both may not have realised it at first, but it was there all along, growing stronger and stronger until we couldn’t deny it any longer. I clearly made the right decision because now, I’m completely and utterly in love with Viktor. I can’t imagine my life without him. I don’t want to live life without him. Is that reason enough for you, Crosby?”

The man looked pained by my answer, but he was so much of a masochist that he kept probing. “And you couldn’t see yourself falling in love with me?”

“No, Crosby,” I sighed, shaking my head. “I’m sorry if it hurts, but that’s the truth.”

“No.” He stood up abruptly, rocking the boat. “That’s not the truth! You’re lying!”

“Crosby,” I called out to him in a cautious tone. “You need to sit down.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” He growled at me, slamming his foot down like a petulant child in the middle of a terrible meltdown. “You ruined my life, and now you’re looking at me like I’m crazy.”

“I didn’t say you were crazy.”

“Are you listening? I said you’re looking at me like I’m crazy, not that you said that I am crazy!”

My heart began thumping hard and fast, fuelled by fear. Things were getting scary, and I was genuinely worried about Crosby’s bizarre, unpredictable behaviour.

I turned my head frantically, looking around for Jerrik, desperately hoping that he was nearby and could save me. When I didn’t spot him anywhere, I opened my mouth and screamed Jerrik’s name as loud as my lungs would allow me.

“What are you doing?” Crosby spat at me with wild, furious eyes. “Stop screaming! Shut your mouth!”

I ignored Crosby and continued screaming Jerrik’s name, desperate for him to appear out of thin air and help me.

“I said, shut your mouth!”

I ignored him and continued screaming.

Before I saw it coming, Crosby leapt across the boat and threw himself at me. His lips pressed against mine, and after the initial shock wore off me, I shrieked and shoved him off me. He proved to be too strong, so I turned my head to avoid his disgusting, unwanted lips.

“I’ll have to marry you as well if I get you pregnant,” Crosby snarled at me, circling one hand around my wrists while he tried to push the other one under my skirt.

I screamed and kicked his hand away from me. Like Hell I would let him touch me like this! But the fear that he could overpower me made me feel sick.

I propelled my whole body forward so my mouth was right next to his ear to scream much louder than before, “Let me go, Crosby!”

Crosby flinched back at my deafening scream, but he kept a tight grip on my wrists. I took advantage of the momentary distraction to push him off me, but instead of tumbling back like I had hoped he would, Crosby barely moved.

“I’ve never hated someone as much as I hate you, Astrid,” Crosby spat, glaring darkly at me.

He reached for me again, but instead of trying to restrain me or force his hand under my skirt again, he pushed hard against my shoulders and sent me flying back into the water.

A high-pitched, fearful scream ripped through from deep within my chest, deathly afraid, but the sound was muted when my head broke through the top barrier of the water. I kicked my legs out, desperately trying to swim up to the surface because I knew I wouldn’t survive if I remained underwater for too long.

Damn me for not taking Viktor up on those swimming lessons!

With all the strength I could muster, my head made it above water, but the rest of my body was weak. I was a wet, sputtering mess as I called out, “Help! Help! Crosby, please help me!”

Crosby watched me flail about in the water, the boat now several feet away, with dull, lifeless eyes.

It was almost as if he wasn’t all there as he watched me drown.