19. Chapter 19

My head hurts, scratch that everything hurts. Last night was a blur after the guys left. They might have given me a little too much freedom. Spencer and I never had that much at a party, and it's because Cam wasn't there, hiding around every corner. I felt safe for once. If only that had stopped me from taking so many shots.

I pull my blanket closer to my chin and roll onto my side, the world can wait another day. It doesn't need me today.

"Wakey wakey eggs and bakey, baby."

"Go away, Maddox. I'm not in the mood for your happiness this morning."

I get pulled across the bed and land next to a warm body. I inhale deeply. The scent of sandalwood calms my woozy stomach. I roll over and bury my nose into Maddox's chest.

"You have to get up," his long fingers worked through my hair. "The twins are fighting again, and I can't get them to stop. I need you to yell at them." He continued to play with my hair, and my body relaxed, becoming heavy on his chest.

"I'm sure they'll get over whatever they are fighting over," I told him, feeling myself zone out. I was almost asleep when a loud crash came from the living room, jolting us both up.

"I warned you. Something is going on with those two."

Maddox helps me out of bed, even though every move makes me want to throw up. I eventually find a pair of joggers and a hoodie hanging on the back of the door. With Maddox leading the way, we enter the living room to find my coffee table broken and Ashton lying on the ground with a bloody nose.

"For the love of Lucy, what the hell, you guys." I try to locate Edgar, but he isn't anywhere to be seen. My heart races when I start thinking the worst, what if one of them landed on him?

"Where is Edgar?" I called out. I dash over to where Edgar usually sleeps; his box is empty. I throw his blanket around, everything else on the counter, and anything else in my way. He isn't here. "Where the hell is he?" My lips trembled around the words.

With a growing sense of doom, the longer I look for him, the more afraid I am that his time has finally come to an end.

"Odette, hey, it's okay," Atticus spoke softly, tilting my chin, his eyes bore into mine. "The window was left open all night, little grim. It's safe to say he flew away because it was his time."

I snapped my eyes to the window. Did I leave it open? I should've known Edgar was ready to leave; his leg had been healed for a while, and I just didn't want to let him go. I enjoyed his company too much. I knew better, though.

"He'll be back. Edgar wouldn't leave you alone, Jinx," Ashton reassures me.

He's right. Edgar always came for a visit every day. I just wanted to be there when he left—I feel so abandoned.

I look over at Ashton, taking in his swollen blood, crusted nose. I had forgotten entirely about what was going on. My poor living room stands destroyed. What could've brought a fight on?

"Explain all this now."

Atticus backs away, looking anywhere but in my direction. That's how I know this fight is about me. And if I have to guess, it's about me staying out with Spencer. I'm not giving up hanging out with my best friend.

"He's mad, Jinx, that's all. I can handle a bloody nose. Sorry about your table. I'll get you a new one. In the meantime, I'm gonna stay in our dorm."

"That doesn't explain anything, Ash. What was the fight about?"

Ashton walks to the kitchen sink, grabs a dishcloth, and turns on the water. He daps the blood from his top lip and leans against the counter facing me.

"Jinx, it's because you don't listen when we tell you to do something, and then this white knight here steps in and lets you get away with anything. The way you two acted last night, don't get me started. Then to let you stay behind with Spencer, and he drops you off fuckin' whacked out of your goddamn mind. I wanted to kill the prick." Atticus paces the living room, not once looking at me.

I look to where Maddox is standing, and he shrugs. Did I piss him off, too? All I wanted was some fun. Since we know who my stalker is, I didn't think anything of it.

"So I'm not allowed any freedom to have fun. Is that what you're telling me?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Maybe."

They all answer.

"I need you all to leave, please. Now," I said emotionlessly. My temples throb with anger the more I think about their answers. Of course, Atticus doesn't think I need freedom. If he had it his way, I would be locked away in my tower.

Maddox takes a step forward but stops. "Jinx, can we explain our answers?"

I shake my head no. "I don't want to hear anything. Just go." I turn, picking up all of Edgar's things. Why, of all days, did he have to fly away?

"I would never hold you back, Jinx. Swans aren't meant to be caged; don't keep us away for too long."

Leave it to Ashton to have the last say. When the door latches closed behind them, I turn around to a broken, quiet dorm. I know I did the right thing because I don't have any regrets; they need to know some boundaries and that they don't run this relationship all the time.

I can't keep going like this.

It"s been two days, and they still can't leave me alone. They think I don't see them walking behind me to every class, but it's hard to miss them in a crowd. It also doesn't help when I share classes with them; there is no need to speak with Ashton or Atticus, but it's Maddox that I'm having a hard time with.

The concert is at the end of this week, and neither of us feels confident enough. I don't because of Lula and Piper, and the last time Maddox tried out for a concert, he was attacked. He needs to focus on his music and nothing else.

It's just getting him to believe in himself that I'm struggling with. I can give him all the compliments and encouragement in the world, but it's up to him in the end. I can't control his mindset.

I was halfway to Greywood Hall when I changed my mind. I needed caffeine to deal with all this drama. I spotted Ashton on the steps of the main building, watching me.

Me: Meet me in the food court. I know for a fact you're hungry

Spence is always hungry, and with a chance to ditch class to eat, he'll be here in a matter of seconds. I head for the Raven Bean first. That coffee needs to get into my system more than food. There's just something about this café that speaks to my dark little heart. All the walls are painted black, with strange and unusual oddities hanging in every which way. The jackalope skeleton head is my favorite.

With my coffee and a sandwich for Spence, I find a table in the middle of the food court. I take my psych homework out and try to concentrate, but learning about mental behaviors isn't on my mind at the moment. The sound of books slamming on the table jolts me upright.

A pair of green eyes stare back at me. He drew his eyebrows together in a frown as I searched him over. His cheeks grow pink the longer I look.

"Odette?"

"Who's asking?" I felt my heart flip; no one ever asked for me.

He shoves the books in my direction. "Give those to Ashton and tell him I want my payment." His eyes focused intently on my face.

"Okay? Why can't you give them to him?"

"Can you do it or not?"

"Yeah, it's not a problem."

I watch as he walks away, leaving me with so many questions. I wouldn't call him a geek for being intelligent, but I love the suspenders he wears.

"Teeny, what's the matter?" Spence sits down, adjusting his glasses.

"Nothing, just someone dropping stuff off for Ashton. Here, food for you."

He blows a kiss at me before digging in. I'll never get over how one guy can love food this much; it's a ham sandwich for fuck's sake. He shakes his head and grunts.

"No, Jinx. Something is wrong, spill it."

I lean back in my chair, staring at the ceiling. "Spence, there is so much shit, I don't even know where to start."

"From the beginning. I'm not leaving until you spill everything from that small-breasted chest."

Leave it to him to make fun of my non-existing tits. Amusement glinted in his gray eyes. Even when I want to close up, he has a way of making me smile.

"Edgar flew away two days ago and hasn't been back. Do you think he left me for good?"

He stops chewing, lowering his sandwich, and his face turns serious. "That bird has been with you since he was a baby. Do you honestly think he would leave you?"

I shrug.

"Teeny, Edgar loves you. He's probably off getting his little bird dick wet. He's been in your room for weeks now."

My lip curls. "Jesus, Spence. Don't talk like that."

"What else is eating away at you?"

"Dad and Serena are getting a divorce. I might have escalated things over family dinner, as always. Dad told me she mentioned something about Mom, which was his last straw. I ruined everything, Spencer. Then I kicked the guys out of my life, or at least tried, but they didn't listen. I need some space from their overbearingness."

He nodded his head solemnly. "First, you didn't make your dad do anything. Serena is a giant cunt, and she had this coming. I'm surprised it took your dad this long. Good on him. I don't wanna see her around this school anymore." He smirks. "As for those shining twins, good luck with that. They've been hanging in the back of the café this entire time, watching us. They do have boundary issues. But have you ever thought of why they do it?"

"No." I scoff.

"It's because they love you but won't say it."

"No, they aren't." I burst into laughter.

Spence fixed me with a doubtful look like he knew I knew.

They can't love me. I have too much going on for all that. My phone buzzes on the table, and I'm betting it's one of the guys.

When I turn it over and read it, my body turns to ice.

Unknown: It's been forever since I sent you a message. How many days has it been? Doesn't matter now, does it? I saw you at the house party. I wish it were me you were getting off on, just thinking about it makes my cock hard. One day.