Chapter 12

Always Been You - Chris Grey

As I turn off the cool shower water, I can still feel Bexley's soft lips against mine. My cock is hard and throbbing for more of her intoxicating touch. I've waited so long to be with her like that, and in that moment, when she finally kissed me, it took every ounce of my strength to control myself. To stop it all before it went further than she or I wanted. Don't get me wrong, I want Bexley. I want her in every fucking way I can have her, but not until she's ready. Not until she can look me in the eyes and tell me she wants me to touch her.

A smile forms on my face at the thought of just how much she must trust me to be this open and vulnerable with me so soon after what Christian has put her through. The way she looked at me today, is how I spent every day of high school hoping she would, and now that she finally has, I feel like a horny teenager all over again. Patiently waiting for the chance to claim her as mine.

She wanted me to kiss her. I could see it in her hazel eyes. Feel it in the way the energy of the room changed. But, if there's one girl I never want to fuck shit up with, it's Bexley. I don't want to rush a single thing when it comes to her. So no matter how badly I wanted to kiss her. I didn't. But never did I expect her to take things into her own hands.

And fuck, if that wasn't the hottest thing ever.

The problem is, now that I know for sure she craves the same thing I do, it's going to be that much harder to resist the urge to fucking take her. The last few days have honestly been a struggle. Not only because every waking minute spent with her has my body and soul craving hers, but because I'm forced to sit here and watch her go through a pain I can't take from her. All I can do is get up through the night any time I hear her crying and hold her tightly in my arms while she sheds years' worth of pent-up tears and pain. It not only angers me but fucking hurts me. No girl deserves to ever feel that kind of pain–least of all her.

I want to touch every inch of her perfect fucking body that still holds even the tiniest inkling of his memory. When she's ready, I'll replace every memory, every touch, with my own. He will no longer exist in Bexley's world, nor her memories.

I grab my towel from the hook on the wall and quickly run it across my body. The soft cotton fabric soaks up the last beads of water dripping down from my wet hair. I'm excited to take her down to the beach today. I think it might be just what she needs to destress a bit. There's something about the salty ocean water that just seems to help with pain. Both physical and emotional. After Mom left, though my memories of her are very vague, I do know the ocean became one of my favorite places to visit.

Talon and Dad would bring me every Sunday after track practice. They may have been hard on my ass about staying focused and training every other day of the week, but Sunday's─were for family.

After drying my hair with the towel, I toss it in the laundry bin by the door, step into my black swim trunks, and head back out to the living room. Rounding the corner, I spot Bex outside on the deck through the large floor-to-ceiling windows. She's chatting to someone on the phone while she looks out at the ocean. Bent over the old wooden railing with her arms resting across it, the wind whips around her, blowing about her raven-colored hair. Hair, I find myself wanting to thread my fingers through. Especially while she's bent over with her ass out just like she is right now.

I smirk as I head out to the deck. Bex ends the call just as I close the door behind me. The clicking sound draws her beautiful eyes in my direction.

"It was just Cece, don't worry." She smiles, before her eyes find their way back to the ocean.

Confused, I come up behind her, wrapping my arms around her petite waist as I inhale her sweet scent. To this day, she still smells the same as she did in high school. My nose fills with the familiar sweet and fresh scent of dragonfruit and citrus. It's nostalgic and soothing, and even when I went years without seeing her, any time that scent hit my nose, I always found myself looking around, scanning the crowds of people around me in search of the only person I truly wanted to see.

Bexley.

"Why would I worry?" I ask before pressing a gentle kiss to her ear.

"Well─honestly, I don't know," she laughs. "I guess I'm just not used to having so much freedom," she adds.

"Well, get used to it. I never want to control you, Bex," I admit softly. Bexley turns in my arms to face me and lifts her arms to wrap around my neck.

"Good. I don't think I could go through that again."

"You'll never have to. Not while I'm around," I whisper, before lowering my lips to ghost over hers. "You smell so fucking good."

"I do?" she laughs. Even the small laugh coming from her is goddamn addictive.

"You do," I reply, before pressing my lips against hers. She pulls me into her, and we stumble until her back presses into the railing behind her. The impact causes a moan to slip from her lips, and I growl.

Fuck. I'm going to need another cool shower after this.

My hands find their way to her face, cupping it as I part her lips with my tongue. She tastes like summer rain—sweet and minty. My cock hardens, and without thinking, I can feel myself pulling her closer against me. Shit, I need to stop.

I break the kiss and gently release her as I move to step back, but she grabs my hand to stop me. Her lust-filled eyes lift to mine.

"Don't," she mutters from swollen lips. "Don't stop."

I wipe my mouth with my thumb as my lips pull into a smile, "I have to stop. It's taking everything in me not to bend you over that railing and fuck you right here on this deck for all my neighbors to watch, Bex."

"Then do it," she challenges. Her reply catches me off guard, and I freeze, staring at her in disbelief.

There's no way she's ready for that. Is there?

She pulls again on my arm, trying to bring me back to her.

"Bex. I'm not messing around. Just give me a minute to get myself under control."

Slowly, she steps toward me. "No," she whispers. "I want this. I need this, and I need it to be with you. I trust you." She ghosts her lips over mine, holding my stare.

"Are you sure?" I ask with panted breath. Fuck, this girl knows how to drive me crazy, and she isn't even trying. She pauses before licking her lips and nodding before she replies.

"Sayshen, I want you to touch me in every way he never could," she mutters. Her hungry eyes flicker back and forth with mine, before she swiftly slams her lips against mine.

Yep, I'm fucked.

Taking her ass in my hands, I wrap her legs around my waist and lift her into the air as I carry her back into the house and up to my bedroom. Closing the door behind us, I gently lay her down on the black silk sheets of the bed. Breaking the kiss, I hold myself up above her, and allow myself a moment to take in the sight of her flushed skin as she lays beneath me.

"You are so goddamn beautiful, Bex," I whisper before placing soft kisses along the soft skin of her neck and collar bone. I hold her gaze, looking up at her as I trail my kisses down her body, slowly pulling the short denim dress along down with me. When I reach her legs, I pull it the rest of the way down, and toss it to the floor before standing up.

If I thought Bex was gorgeous before, it was nothing compared to seeing her like this. Wearing nothing more than a pair of white cotton panties in the middle of my bed. She has small silver barbell piercings through her nipples that draw my attention as her perky tits rise and fall with each ragged breath. The bruises that covered her body have almost completely healed, revealing small patches of freckles and beauty marks scattered around her soft skin.

Standing at the edge of the bed, I follow every curve of her exposed body with my eyes while she watches. Fuck, I could bust just from the view of her like this. I don't know what the hell I did to deserve this fucking moment, but goddamn am I thankful.

Under the weight of my stare, Bex giggles, and pushes herself up on her elbows to look at me. Scooting herself to the edge of the bed, she holds our stare as she hooks her fingers into the waistband of my swim trunks and pulls them down.

"Bex─" I warn through a clenched jaw as she takes my cock in her hand. She holds it firmly, and slowly pumps it. Once. Twice. Her tongue slips through her teeth, and flattens it as it runs up the length of my shaft.

"Oh Fuck," I hiss as I suck in a breath.

My head falls back and my eyes roll back as I lift my hands to her head. Threading them gently through her thick hair as she teases me. Swirling her warm tongue up and over my cock's swollen tip. Fuck. Bex knows what she's doing.

"Sayshen," she moans. Looking down at her, I find her with her panties pulled to the side, using her free hand to play with herself as she pumps my cock with the other. My grip on her hair tightens as just the right amount of her teeth scrapes across the tip sending a shudder through me. She moans again and the hand around my cock picks up speed.

That's it.

Pulling my cock from her beautifully swollen lips, I bend down and pick her up to lift her back up onto the bed. Her arms instantly wrap around my neck and we kiss as I lay her back down, keeping myself above her. Positioning myself between her thighs. She grinds against me, lifting her pelvis as I hold her panties to the side with my thumb and line myself up at her opening.

"Are you sure you want this?" I ask huskily, breaking the kiss. I want this. Shit, I've wanted this since the moment I first saw her in junior year. But I also know there will be no going back. Not from this. Bexley Larson will be mine, and there's no way I'll ever let her go. I'll spend every day of my life protecting her. Loving her. Nothing will ever come before her. Not even racing.

Locking eyes with me, she nods her head in acceptance, and I slowly thrust myself inside her. Her tight walls clench and spasm around me. Her back arching off the bed as my sheer size stretches and fills every inch of her.

"Oh my god," she cries out. Her nails dig into my back as I hold myself still inside her, allowing her time to adjust. Slowly, I lower my lips to hers, and begin to pull back, before slamming back into her. Again, and again, slowly, gently. I swallow her moans as she lifts her hips to meet my thrusts.

"Fuck, Bex. You feel so fucking good," I whisper against her lips. "Too fucking good. You're mine now. When I'm done with you, it will only be my touch you remember. It will be my touch that you think about at night, that you crave," I whisper as I pump in and out of her. The wet sounds of our bodies coming together echoes around my bedroom; mixed with the soft whimpers that slip from her lips. Her hands glide down my body to grip my hips as she pulls me in against her. Deeper. Harder.

"Sayshen. Please," she moans. Her teeth sink into my bottom lip, breaking the skin. Her legs wrap around me as she grinds her pelvis vigorously in search of the friction she needs to find her release. Pushing myself up, I grab her hip with one hand, and slowly slide the thumb of my other hand into her mouth.

"Suck on it," I command. "Lick it like you did my cock, Bex." She does. Fimly gripping my wrist in her hand, she licks and laps at my thumb with her warm silky tongue. "That's it, fuck, such a good girl." Pulling my thumb from her mouth, I lower my hand to her clit. Circling it with my thumb as I continue to thrust up inside her. Taking her deeper and harder each time. Her hooded eyes begin to roll into the back of her head. Her hips bucking about as my thumb continues to massage her swollen nub.

"Fuck. Sayshen─" she cries out. Fuck she is so goddamn close. Releasing her hip, I place my flattened hand on her pelvis, holding her down with the perfect amount of pressure as I fuck her, knowing each thrust is bringing us both closer to the edge.

"Eyes up here, baby. You're going to fucking look at me while you come on my cock, Bex," I whisper. "I want you to watch me make you come. I want you to remember what my touch feels like and just how much your body fucking loves it."

"Oh god. Oh fuck," she mewls, gripping the sheets of the bed as her body begins to convulse and her orgasm hits her. Removing my hand from her clit, I grip her hips tightly. Slightly lifting her off the bed as I pound into her. Her pussy clamps down on me. Vibrating and squeezing along my shaft, guiding me to my own release as I thrust into her one last time.

Lowering myself. I rest my head in the crook of her neck while we share heated breaths. Pushing myself to the side of her, I wrap my arms around her body and pull her into me.

"Are you okay?" I question, pressing my lips to her soft hair.

"You know, I'm actually perfect," she purrs, nuzzling herself against me. I don't expect her to be perfect. I know she has a long road of recovering, and an even longer one before she'll ever probably fully trust someone again. But I'm okay with all of that. As long as I get to be by her side through it. To help her, and to protect her, that's all that matters. "Oh, I'm on the pill by the way," she laughs.

"Huh? Oh," I reply. "Honestly wasn't even thinking about that."

"Well, regardless. Now you know. So, are we still going to the beach? I was really looking forward to that swim," she adds as she traces her fingers around the tattoos on my chest as her chin tilts up toward me.

"If that's what my girl wants," I reply with a smirk as I look down at her. "But first, I need to find my swim shorts, cause someone…ripped them off me."

She cocks a brow at me before replying. "Oh I would hardly call that ‘ripping them off'," she laughs as she climbs out of the bed. "But I mean, if you weren't a fan, I can make sure I never do it again."

Panicked, I jump up from the bed, "No. No, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I loved every second of it, I promise."

"Mhmm, I bet you did," she winks. "I'm going to go grab my swimsuit from my bag, meet you on the deck?"

"Sure thing, babe. I'll be out in a few," I reply, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. With that she heads downstairs. Grabbing my swim shorts from the floor, I slide them back on before collapsing on my bed. My lips pull into a smile, and a small uncontainable laugh escapes me.

Bexley fucking Larson.

Goddamn.