Chapter 11

Cold - Jessie Murph

Four days. That's how long it's been since Talon stepped in when I needed him and Sayshen whisked me away to their quiet little beach house.

To safety.

The bruises left behind by Christian have begun to fade. Each day, they grow fainter when I look in the mirror. I can't yet say the same about the other marks. The ones you can't see. The ones that still seem to plague my thoughts. Nightmares are a daily occurrence. Every night, my head is still plagued by thoughts and visions of Christian. They always wake me up in the dead of night, when I'm drenched in sweat and terrified. Sayshen, however, is always close by, always rushing to my side whenever I need him.

He's been nothing but kind to me. Respectful even.

A far cry from the cocky and immature fuckboy I knew so long ago. I'm thankful for everything he and his brother have done for me. But mostly, I'm thankful that when he looks at me, it's not pity that reflects in his eyes. It's pain. Rage. I've grown quite attached to him the last few days. Having him here has been a much needed comfort. We've spent the last few days filling each other in on what happened between high school and now—watching movies where we place bets on how it's going to end. The loser has to wash the dishes. But mostly, just relaxing with each other.

Decompressing.

This morning, Sayshen is in the kitchen preparing breakfast for both of us while I sit on a barstool at the oversized island, watching and praying he doesn't burn down the house. I may also be secretly checking out his tight ass in those goddamn gray sweatpants as he bends down to grab pans from the cupboard too.

I swear those pants were made by the devil himself. To tease and torture women. The way they hug his hips and reveal just the right amount of his goods to drive a woman insane, is completely unfair.

But it's so much more than just physical attraction, especially after how he's treated me over the last couple of days. It's like this pull to him has been building up since that day at the cafe. He has been so kind and good to me. Sayshen was always sweet to me back in high school. He had always said I was never going to be just another number, one of the many girls he took home and spent a night with. I just never took any of what he said seriously.

Now, I do.

Now, when he talks, I find myself staring at his full lips, wondering how they'd feel against mine. I crave to run my fingers along the lines of the tattoos across his chest, arms, and stomach, dipping and swerving down the ridges of his toned abs.

"Pancakes today, then?" Sayshen asks, pulling me back to reality.

I tightly clench my thighs and clear my throat.

"Ye─yeah," I stutter.

Cocking a brow, he looks at me with confusion. "You good?"

"Yeah," I laugh, doing my best to hide the fact that I've spent the entire morning checking him out and silently drooling over him. Part of me wonders if I should feel guilty about it. I mean, after everything I just went through—not just the breakup with Christian, but everything that's been done to me—is it even normal for my body to want or crave the touch of another man so soon?

"Blueberry or banana?" he asks, seeming to believe my lie.

"Umm, blueberry. Please," I reply with a sweet smile.

"Mind grabbing them from the fridge for me?"

"Sure," I add, hopping down from my barstool. The short summer dress I chose to wear today brushes against my legs as I make my way around the island toward the fridge. It's a simple dress that Sayshen and I grabbed when we went into town for supplies: light denim, cute spaghetti straps, and a little fringe around the bottom. One of my favorite local designers made it as a piece in her summer line a few years ago, and though it's technically out of style, it will always be one of my go-to's for summer.

Nearing the fridge, my foot lands on something wet on the floor, and my foot slides across the floor. I fall backward, gasping until strong hands wrap around my back, stopping me before I hit the tile floor.

Sayshen.

He holds me tightly against him, the spatula still tightly grasped in his other hand as he smiles at me with that flirtatious grin that makes me weak in the knees.

"Thought you said you were good?" he smirks coyly as he looks down at me.

"I am! It's not my fault you got pancake batter on the floor!" I retort sassily.

He looks over his shoulder to where I slipped. "I did, well… I didn't mean to. Sorry, Bex," He adds as she slowly helps me upright. Standing inches from me, his hooded eyes lock with mine as he brushes some of my hair off my face. This close to him, I can feel the warmth of his body. A warmth I want to feel more of. I search his eyes for any sign of him feeling the same way I do. As I inhale his woodsy fresh scent, my body tingles, and I silently find myself hoping he'll kiss me.

Everything around us seems to freeze. The pancakes in the pan continue to sizzle and crack on the stove behind him, and yet neither of us flinches. His eyes make their way to my lips. Darkening as his tongue darts out to glide across his bottom lip.

Fuck it.

Without thinking, I give in to temptation and place my palms flat on his hard chest to steady myself. His eyes snap back to mine. I can feel his heartbeat increasing under my touch. His dark bangs hang down around his whiskey eyes. Holding his hunger-filled stare, I push myself up on my toes and press my lips against his.

He instantly kisses me back. His hand shifting to the small of my back as he pulls me in closer against him, deepening the kiss. Wrapping my arms around the back of his neck, I part my lips for his tongue. Soft moans slip from his lips, bringing a small smile to my face as he gently pushes me back against the counter of the island.

My body craves more of him. A tingling sensation courses through me, and I beg for more of his sweet kisses and gentle touch. Sayshen breaks the kiss, and we briefly share panted breaths before he rests his forehead against mine.

"Fuck, Bex. You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that," he whispers from swollen lips. I giggle because though he doesn't think I do, I do. "Shit," he shouts, quickly leaving me to return to the stove where, if the scent is anything to go off of, the pancakes are completely burnt.

I wrap my arms around myself. My cheeks flush, and my lips pull into the biggest smile as I gently bite my lip.

I'm falling for fucking Sayshen Shaw.

Walking over to him, I look over his arm at the pan to find one side of my pancakes completely burnt. Taking the spatula from him, I push myself in front of him to assess the damage. "Well, at least it's only one side," I laugh.

From behind me, Sayshen pushes my hair over one side of my shoulder before wrapping his arms around my waist. He presses his hardened cock against my ass. The gesture causes my eyes to snap forward to the subway tile backsplash behind the stove. "I'll make you new ones. It's no big deal," he whispers, pressing soft kisses down my shoulder.

Elbowing him playfully, I smile. "Don't. These will be fine. Really."

"You sure? I don't mind."

"I'm sure," I laugh as I plate the burnt pancakes. Behind me, Sayshen grows quiet, and he pulls his arms from around me. Looking over, I find him using one of the dish towels to clean up the batter off the floor before opening the fridge door and pulling out a carton of orange juice.

With my plate in my hand, I return to my place on the island, where I left my sketchbooks and pencils.

"You should stay here," Sayshen says, as he places a glass of juice in front of me.

Confused by his statement, I reply, "Stay here?"

"Yeah. I mean, you obviously aren't going back to his place." His voice darkens with the mere mention of Christian. "You'll need somewhere to stay, so why not here?"

"That's a sweet offer, but I don't want to impose. Besides, I told you and Talon the other night, I can stay with Cece, it's not a big deal."

"No," he adds with a stern voice.

"Christian knows where Cece lives," he explains as he reaches my side. I watch him as I bring the glass of orange juice to my lips. It's sour and pulping but delicious and just what I needed to quench my thirst. "Just because it's been a couple of days, doesn't mean Christian will just drop it. We really don't know when going to Cece's will be considered safe for you. I mean whats to stop him from showing up a week or two from now?"

"I mean, you're right about Christian being able to find me there anytime, I guess. I don't know, though. Are you sure that Talon will be okay with me staying here?" I ask. Talon may have saved me from Christian, but that doesn't mean he'll be okay with me totally invading their lives. The last thing I want to do is cause any more problems than I already have.

"He'll be fine with it, Bex. Besides, it is my house to ya' know, and if I want my girl here, he can't really say much about it," he adds with a cocky smirk before taking a forkful of my burnt pancakes and shoving them in his mouth. "That is fucking disgusting," he mummers with a mouth full of food.

I smile, tucking my hair behind my ear. "Your girl, huh?"

"Yep!" he replies, accentuating the p sound.

"You do realize I haven't even been single for a week, and you're already laying claim to me."

"And? Why does it matter how long it's been since you and the douchebag broke up? I've wanted you longer. Everyone knows it. Besides, he didn't deserve you," he adds.

Taking a bite of my pancakes, I let his confession float around in my thoughts before replying. "Well, don't you think it's a little soon? I mean, considering everything that went down. People will talk."

"Let them. Bex, listen to me. I don't care what anyone says. I want you, and I know you want me, too. But I also know you've been through a lot of shit. I know in many ways you're still broken inside, and that's okay. I want to be the one that is here for you, to help you heal all the pieces of yourself that he broke. So when your fire returns, I'll know I helped get it going again," He adds, pressing a soft kiss to my head. "If you'll let me."

Tears build on the brim of my lashes and begin to glide down my cheeks. Cupping my face in his hands, he wipes them away with his thumbs and forces my eyes to his as his expression softens.

"Let me be that for you, please," he begs.

"Okay," I stammer, placing my hands over his.

He pulls me in for a hug and rests his chin on the top of my head as he holds me for a long moment. With my face pressed against his bare chest, I slow my breathing and allow his scent and warmth to calm me.

Releasing me, he takes my hands in his and looks down at me. "I'm going to take a quick shower, and then maybe we can go down to the beach for a swim. How does that sound?"

"That actually sounds really good," I reply.

"Alright, cool. I'll be right out," he adds before lowering his face and softly pressing his lips to mine. I watch as he walks down the hall toward the stairs. Checking out his tight ass the entire way as a smile grows on my face and my cheeks flush.

God, why did I wait so long to give Sayshen a chance?

I quickly finish my pancakes, which Sayshen was right—they are disgusting. I tidy up the mess in the kitchen and wash the breakfast dishes before heading out to the large deck at the back of the house. The cool ocean air whisks by me the moment I step outside, blowing my hair around my face. The left side of the deck is set up with a large black wicker patio set, complete with dark gray cushions with a palm tree pattern. In the middle, sits a large round fire pit table that looks like it's never been used. A massive grill and barbeque station sits under a small gazebo in the back corner making it the ideal deck for entertaining. Especially, for a group the size of the guy's team. Tropical potted plants and palms are placed around the deck, offering some privacy from the neighbors and beach visitors. Reaching the distressed white railing, I rest my arms across it and inhale a deep breath and look out at the ocean.

Living with Sayshen temporarily might not be so bad. After all, the house is gorgeous—this view is literally to die for. Having him around so much also isn't something I think I'll complain about, especially after that kiss. Somehow, even after what I've been through, the simplest touch from Sayshen makes me feel things. Things I haven't felt in a very long fucking time.

It's clear my feelings and needs matter more to him than what anyone else thinks and when we kissed, I could feel how badly he wanted it. Wanted me, and yet, he didn't push me any further.

He makes me want and crave things I truly never saw myself wanting again, not after Christian. With him, it was always about him and his needs. Never me. I never mattered. Most importantly, though, I feel safe here—safer than I've felt in a long time.

Sure, the nightmares are still there, but having Sayshen next to me when I wake up helps. My thoughts find their way to my best friend and all the things I need to fill her in on. Sliding my cell out from the small hidden pocket of my sundress, I dial Cece's number.

She's going to lose it when I tell her everything she's missed.