Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Miles watched as Edwina walked away and he let out a sigh. It was a matter of honor for him to marry her, at least that is what he kept telling himself. He knew that she wanted love, but he couldn't give that to her. How could he? He loved his late wife and she had died, leaving him broken.

He couldn't risk that, not again. It was better to marry Edwina and keep his emotions tucked away. It was the only way he could think of that he could protect himself from the heartache that would eventually come.

Edwina may be against this marriage for now, but she would come around. She had to. And he would be good to her.

He hurried to catch up with Edwina and remarked, "You are a remarkably fast walker when you are angry."

She glanced over at him. "I'm not angry."

"You aren't?"

"No, I am sad."

Miles furrowed his brow. He had anticipated her anger, but not sadness. "May I ask why that is?" he asked.

Edwina bit her lower lip, a sure sign that she was upset. " You are right. Once my uncle finds out about our almost kiss, he will force me to marry you."

"And that makes you sad?"

"No, what makes me sad is that you could never love me," Edwina said. "I understand why that is, but I had wanted more out of this life."

Miles felt his heart ache for Edwina, knowing she deserved more. "If that is the case, I rescind my offer of marriage."

"You rescind it?"

"Yes, I take it back," Miles said. "You don't have to marry me unless you choose to."

Edwina winced. "It isn't that easy. My uncle may disown me if I don't marry you."

Miles stopped on the path, his boots grinding on the gravel as he turned to face her. "I just want you to be happy, Edwina. Whatever you decide, I will support your decision," he said. "And I would never let you suffer because of my thoughtless actions."

"I could always run away to Scotland and play golf," Edwina said with a wistful look.

Miles eyed her curiously. "Do you play golf?"

"No, but women have been playing for two years now," Edwina remarked. "I have read about it in the newssheets."

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Your plan is flawless, my dear, but perhaps we should think of one that would keep you in England."

Edwina's eyes lit up. "I could be a falconer."

"Yes, you could, but do you truly wish to train falcons?" he asked.

"I love birds."

Miles chuckled. "I love eating food, but I would not make a career out of that."

Edwina rolled her eyes. "I would be a falconer to just earn some extra money until I can access my dowry at twenty-five. "

"I am trying to be supportive, but surely there is something else you could do," Miles insisted.

"This is hard," Edwina remarked, blowing out a puff of air. "Not everyone can be an earl."

Miles shook his head. "It is not as if I asked for this responsibility. I was content serving in the Army."

"I know, and I am sorry for making light of it," Edwina said. "I just don't know what to do. I feel lost."

Taking a step towards her, Miles responded, "I am here, and I will help you in any way I can. I promise you that."

Edwina smiled. "I know. Thank you."

"Just so you know, I would marry you today, tomorrow or in a week," Miles said. "We can marry in name only, if that is what you would prefer."

Her smile dimmed. "Do you not require an heir?"

Miles' gaze became distant, tinged with a sense of anguish. "I would never ask you to risk your life over that."

"Not everyone dies in childbirth," Edwina said.

"I can't risk it… I won't," Miles insisted, his jaw clenching.

Edwina's eyes held compassion as she remarked, "I know you want to protect me, but even you can't predict the future."

Miles shifted his gaze away from Edwina. "No, but I won't tempt fate," he said. "My title will be passed to a cousin."

"Just to clarify, you are now offering me a loveless marriage that is in name only," Edwina remarked.

Shifting uncomfortably in his stance, Miles responded, "Yes, but I will buy you whatever you want."

"What I want is not something you can buy, Miles," Edwina said. "I daresay your offer is getting worse and worse."

Miles held her gaze. "Tell me what to say, and I will say it."

Edwina offered him a weak smile. "For the longest time, it felt like I was trying to make sense of my life, but now I see there is no sense to be made. I just need to live my life and embrace my journey."

Bennett's irate voice came from behind them. "Dear heavens, you two are taking far too long to return to the manor."

Miles turned to see his friend approaching them with purposeful strides. "I'm afraid we got caught up in our conversation."

"You were supposed to retrieve Edwina, not lollygag," Bennett said, coming to a stop next to them. "Dare I ask what you two were discussing?"

Edwina spoke up. "I am thinking about becoming a falconer."

Bennett's brow shot up. "You expect me to believe that?"

"No, it is true," Miles confirmed. "Lady Edwina has decided to either become a falconer or a golfer."

"What nonsense are you spewing?" Bennett asked.

With a tilt of her chin, Edwina replied, "I am not going to marry Lord Hilgrove and I thought becoming a falconer would be rather lucrative."

Bennett huffed, looking clearly unimpressed by Edwina's declaration. "Have you tried to train a bird before?"

"No, but surely it can't be that difficult," Edwina replied.

Looking heavenward, Bennett muttered a few words under his breath before returning his gaze to Edwina. "You are being impossible."

Edwina visibly tensed. "Says the man that is trying to force me to marry Lord Hilgrove."

"Did you already forget that I caught you in a compromising position?" Bennett asked, his voice taking on an edge. "What choice do I have?"

"You do not have to be a jackanapes!" Edwina exclaimed before she continued down the path.

Together, they watched Edwina's retreating figure. After a long moment, Bennett's voice broke through the silence. "My cousin is stubborn, but surely- in due time- she will realize this is the only way."

Miles was sure that Edwina was his future, but now he had to convince her of that. Why couldn't she see that he was trying to protect her by wanting a marriage in name only?

In a hesitant voice, Miles shared, "She wants love."

Bennett turned to face him. "And you can't give that to her?"

"No, I'm afraid I can't," Miles admitted. "I have loved once and it did not go well for me. I can't risk it… not again."

"That was a tragic circumstance, but that doesn't mean you should give up on love," Bennett said.

"What choice do I have?" Miles asked.

Bennett ran a hand through his hair. "Love is a choice. You must make it every single day."

Miles scoffed. "Pardon me for not wishing to take advice from someone that has never been in love."

A pained look came into Bennett's eyes. "I have loved before, but my affection was not returned," he shared.

Feeling contrite, Miles said, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"How could you?" Bennett asked. "I never told you or anyone for that matter. It is not something I wish to dwell on."

Miles watched as Edwina disappeared within the manor as he asked, "How do you propose I can convince your cousin to marry me?"

Bennett shrugged. "You could always buy her a falcon," he joked.

"I would prefer not to," Miles said.

Growing serious, Bennett remarked, "Regardless, we need to deal with the issues that you have brought up about my father." He paused. "My father is a good man. I do not believe what you are claiming he is capable of."

"It isn't uncommon for a man of Lord Dallington's position to have a mistress," Miles attempted .

Bennett narrowed his eyes. "My parents love each other, and I resent the accusation."

"I know what I saw, and it did not look good for your father," Miles asserted.

"You were mistaken," Bennett declared with a swipe of his hand. "It is preposterous to even think that my father has another family."

Miles gave his friend an understanding look. "Perhaps you should come see for yourself the next time your father says he is departing for the village."

"Fine. Then I can prove to you that it was just a misunderstanding," Bennett said. "But first we need to speak to my father about the state of the estate."

"What of Lady Edwina's inheritance?" Miles asked.

Bennett looked displeased by his question. "I will take a look at my uncle's will, but I am sure there is a perfectly plausible reason for why my father didn't say anything."

Miles nodded. "If you say so."

"I do," Bennett stated. "I know my father and he is not a bad man."

"I am not insinuating that he is," Miles said.

Bennett gestured towards the manor. "Come along," he encouraged. "My father is in his study, and he has agreed to see us before he departs for the village."

Miles arched an eyebrow but thought it would be prudent if he didn't say anything.

"I know what you are going to say," Bennett started, "but he has a meeting with his man of business."

"What if we followed him, just to be sure?" Miles asked.

Bennett pursed his lips. "I shall agree to that but just so I can prove you wrong."

Miles winced. "I wish I was wrong," he said.

They both seemed to retreat to their own thoughts as they made their way back to the manor. Once they stepped inside, he watched Edwina pace back and forth in the entry hall, a frown creasing her brow.

Bennett leaned closer to him and whispered, "I would proceed with caution with Edwina. I haven't seen her this upset in quite some time."

Miles approached Edwina and waited until she came to a stop in front of him. He smiled, hoping to disarm her. "May I get you some chocolate, my lady?"

Edwina stared at him like he was mad. "Why?"

"I recall that Arabella would always ask for chocolate when she was upset," Miles replied. "It seemed to help her calm down."

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because Edwina placed her hand on her hip. "I am only upset because of you and Bennett. And, no, chocolate would not help this."

Bennett moved closer to them and said, "I apologize for interrupting, but we should go speak to my father."

Some of the anger dissipated from Edwina's expression and it was replaced by uncertainty. A feeling that he knew all too well.

Miles offered his arm. "Remember that we are in this together. Always."

His words had the desired effect on Edwina, and she placed her hand on his arm. "Thank you," she murmured.

As they walked towards Lord Dallington's study, Miles glanced over at Edwina and knew that she was nervous. But she could do this. He had never met a braver soul than her. He knew in his heart that he would do whatever it took to make her his own.

Edwina was utterly nervous. She had no idea how this meeting would go with her uncle, but one thing was for certain, she was grateful to have Miles by her side. He gave her the strength to continue on, despite knowing how difficult this conversation would be for her.

She quickly glanced at Miles and admired his handsome face. How she was growing to love this man, but it didn't matter. He would never reciprocate her feelings. Although, he had admitted that he cared for her. But that wasn't enough. She wanted more.

As they arrived at the study, Miles leaned in and whispered, "You can do this."

" We can do this," she corrected.

Miles smiled and she knew that everything would be all right. "We can do anything together," he said.

"Except whistle," Edwina quipped. "Only one of us can do that."

He chuckled. "You are right."

They followed Bennett into the study and Edwina saw her uncle was hunched over his large desk. Papers were neatly formed into piles and a ledger sat in front of him.

Bennett's voice broke through the silence. "Father, do you have a moment to talk?"

Her uncle closed the ledger in front of him and leaned back in his seat, a satisfied smile on his lips. "I have been expecting this," he said.

"You have?" Bennett asked, the confusion evident on his features.

"Yes, and it is about time," her uncle declared. "I must say that I couldn't be more pleased. It is not every day that one's niece marries an earl."

Edwina's brow shot up. "Pardon?"

Her uncle looked at her like she was a simpleton. "Is that not why you and Miles are here? To ask for my blessing."

"No, we are here for an entirely different matter," Edwina replied.

"Then you two aren't engaged?" her uncle asked .

Edwina exchanged a look with Miles before confirming, "We are not."

Her uncle frowned. "Whyever not?" he demanded. "I have seen the way you two look at one another and the hushed conversations."

"We are just friends," Edwina insisted.

With a huff, her uncle turned to Bennett. "What are your thoughts on this?"

Edwina held her breath, not knowing if Bennett would reveal that he had caught them in a compromising situation. If he did, she had no doubt that her uncle would demand that they should be married at once.

But to her pleasant- and rather unexpected- surprise, Bennett just shrugged. "I do believe the decision rests solely on them."

She released her breath, grateful for her cousin's discretion.

Her uncle shifted his gaze to Miles. "And what say you?" he asked. "Is my niece not good enough for you?"

Miles shook his head. "No, my lord, I would gladly marry Lady Edwina, assuming she would have me."

"She will have you," her uncle said.

"Uncle!" Edwina exclaimed. "I do believe I should have a choice in the matter."

Her uncle gave her an exasperated look. "Lord Hilgrove would make a fine husband for you. He is an earl, and I doubt you would fare much better in the marriage mart."

Miles interjected, "I agree with Lady Edwina. It is her decision and hers alone."

"But she is a woman," her uncle cried out. "They are prone to make irrational decisions based on their emotions and whatnot."

Her aunt's voice came from the doorway. "Lionel!" she exclaimed. "That was entirely unfair of you to say. "

Her uncle had the decency to look ashamed. "My apologies, my love. I am just trying to make a point."

"A poorly worded point," her aunt said, walking further into the room. "Edwina has every right to make this decision on her own."

"But Miles is an earl," her uncle pointed out.

"Yes, he is, but you can't force these things," her aunt said. "You must trust Edwina is making the best choice for herself."

Her uncle looked displeased. "It would be far better if Edwina marries now than having her endure the Season."

"You just don't want to pay for her Season," her aunt remarked.

"Precisely," her uncle declared. "The purpose of having a Season is to make yourself as desirable as possible so you can attract a suitor. But Edwina has already attracted an earl. Is that not enough for her?"

Edwina lowered her gaze, not knowing what to say. Her uncle was adamant about her marrying Miles, not that she expected any different. But she didn't dare reveal the reasonings behind her decision not to marry him.

Miles leaned closer to her and whispered, "Your uncle is acting very ‘marquess ish .'"

A laugh escaped her lips and she brought her hand up to cover her mouth.

"Did I say that right?" he asked.

She brought her gaze back up. "You did, and I am rather impressed by your ability to make up words as well," she joked.

"I learned from the best," Miles said with a smile.

Her uncle cleared his throat. "Are you two quite finished?" he asked.

"We are," Edwina replied.

With a sigh, her uncle rose from his seat and asked, "Why, pray tell, do you not wish to marry Lord Hilgrove? "

Edwina tilted her chin. "I have my reasons."

"Would you care to elaborate on those?" her uncle asked.

Her aunt stepped closer to Edwina and placed a hand on her sleeve. "It is all right, Child. You do not need to tell us. We trust that you are making the right decision for yourself."

Walking over to the drink cart, her uncle picked up a decanter and asked, "Do you like living here, Edwina?"

"I do," she responded hesitantly, not sure where this conversation was heading.

"And do you think I will let you remain here for the remainder of your days?" her uncle inquired as he poured himself a drink.

Edwina shook her head.

Her uncle placed down the decanter and picked up his drink. "You are right. My generosity has its limits. I will not allow you to become a drain on my finances."

"Lionel, can we discuss this in private?" her aunt asked, her words holding a warning.

Turning towards his wife, her uncle said, "We will not. It is time that Edwina understood that her time here will come to an end when she reaches her majority. If she is not married by then, she will be forced to seek out employment."

Bennett eyed his father trepidatiously. "What about Edwina's dowry?"

"Under her father's stipulations, Edwina cannot access her dowry until she is twenty-five years old," her uncle explained.

"Surely Edwina can remain with us until she is twenty-five," her aunt remarked. "That is what Richard would have wanted."

Her uncle stiffened. "Richard is not here, is he?" he demanded.

Edwina felt the tears burn in the back of her eyes at the mention of her father and blinked them back. However, one managed to escape and it slipped down her cheek. This was the moment to be brave, to inquire about her inheritance, but her words eluded her.

As she struggled to find her voice, Miles extended her a white handkerchief from his jacket pocket.

With a weak smile, she accepted it and swiped at her cheek. "Thank you," she murmured.

Miles' eyes held compassion as he held her gaze. "It will be all right," he whispered. "Trust me."

"I do," she responded.

Her uncle's voice broke through their conversation. "Is everyone truly this blind?" he asked. "It is obvious that Edwina and Miles care for one another."

"Perhaps, but you must let them find their own path," her aunt insisted.

Bennett shifted in his stance before saying, "As enjoyable as this conversation is, we did want to speak to you about something much more important."

Her uncle lifted his brow. "More important than my niece refusing to marry a wealthy earl?"

"Yes, it has to do with the funding you are providing to the village," Bennett replied.

With a scoff, her uncle placed his glass down onto the desk. "What do those ingrates want now?" he asked.

Bennett furrowed his brow. "Why do you suppose they want something?"

"Mr. Stanley has told me that they are complaining that I don't fund the repairs needed in the village." Coming around his desk, her uncle sat down and reached for the ledger. "I give those villagers enough of my money. I have paid for the clock tower and cobblestone road to be repaired. And I just put a new roof on the chapel. Is that not enough for them?"

"Father…" Bennett started.

Her uncle put his hand up, stilling his words. "I already have enough to do and I refuse to continue this conversation any longer. "

"Well, you will have to make the time," Bennett said firmly.

"I beg your pardon?" her uncle growled.

Bennett walked closer to the desk. "How much are you giving to help the villagers?"

"Enough," came her uncle's response.

"Can you expand on that?" Bennett asked.

Her uncle tapped his finger on the ledger. "Why do you care so much?"

"Because we have heard the grumblings from the villagers and I even had an unfortunate altercation with one of your disgruntled tenants," Bennett responded.

Opening the ledger, her uncle made a show of turning it towards Bennett and pointed. "That is what I just gave to support the upkeep of the village this month."

Bennett approached the desk and studied the ledger. "That seems like a fair amount."

"It is more than fair," her uncle said. "Now do you see that the villagers are just complaining about their lots in life?"

Edwina was curious about one thing so she asked, "Did you reduce the funding to the village after my father died?"

"Not at first, but Mr. Stanley convinced me that I was being far too generous," her uncle replied. "And he did warn me that the villagers would respond this way. They are truly ungrateful."

Her uncle reached for the ledger and pulled it back towards him. "Now if you will excuse me, I have a meeting in the village."

"With Mr. Stanley?" Bennett questioned.

"Why does it matter to you with whom I am meeting?" her uncle demanded. "Last I checked, I don't answer to you."

Bennett put his hands up in surrender. "My apologies, Father," he responded, his words curt.

Picking up the ledger, her uncle placed it under his arm and walked over to his wife. He kissed her cheek and said, "I shall return home for supper."

Her aunt smiled. "I do hope so."

After her uncle stepped out of the room, her aunt turned towards Bennett and asked, "What was that all about?"

Bennett gave her an innocent look. "Nothing. I was merely curious."

"Since when did you take an interest in your father's business dealings?" her aunt asked with a knowing look.

"I suppose since this will be all mine one day I should take a more vested interest in it all," Bennett said.

Her aunt didn't look convinced. "Very well, don't tell me. But I always manage to root out the truth on my own," she stated before departing from the study.

Bennett approached them and lowered his voice. "We need to see who my father is truly meeting."

"Shall we take our horses or the carriage?" Edwina asked.

"I would prefer if you remained at the manor while Miles and I go trail after my father," Bennett said.

Edwina pressed her lips together. "Why, exactly?"

"Because I think it is for the best," Bennett replied.

With a shake of her head, Edwina said, "You are acting very ‘earlish.'"

"What does that even mean?" Bennett inquired.

Miles spoke up, his lips twitching. "It is not a good thing, I assure you."

Bennett dismissed his comment with a wave of his hand. "Regardless, we are in agreement. Edwina will stay home," he said.

"No," Edwina responded. "I am going with you."

Bennett opened his mouth to no doubt object, but Miles put a hand on his shoulder. "You might as well save your breath."

"Fine, we do not have time for this," Bennett muttered. "Let us depart. "

Edwina resisted the urge to smile at her cousin's lackluster response, but she was glad that she was going. Perhaps she could even prove to her cousin that she was capable of so much more than what he gave her credit for.