Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Miles headed towards the library, assuming that is where he would find Edwina. He had spent the past few hours fencing with Winston and he needed a respite. And for him, that meant being in the presence of Edwina. Just the thought of her brought a smile to his lips.

As he entered the library, Miles caught sight of Edwina sitting by the window, her attention fully absorbed in a book. The afternoon sun streamed through the window and illuminated her delicate features. How was it possible for someone to become more beautiful with each passing day?

Miles decided to make his presence known. "Edwina," he said gently, not wanting to startle her from her reading.

Edwina brought her head up and met his gaze. "Miles." The way she said his name caused his heart to soar.

He took a step closer to her. "How are you feeling?" he asked with a teasing smile on his lips.

"I am much better, thank you," Edwina replied.

"I assumed that you would grow tired of pretending to be resting and you would eventually end up in the library," Miles said.

Edwina smiled. "You know me so well. "

"Perhaps I do," he replied.

"I am not sure if I should be flattered or insulted by how easily you can read me," she remarked.

"Flattered, I assure you."

Lowering the book to her lap, Edwina said, "I assume you sought me out for a reason."

Miles closed the distance between them and sat on a chair facing Edwina. "I asked Bennett to meet us here."

A deep furrow formed between Edwina's brows. "This is going to be a very difficult conversation," she mused.

"It will be, but we can do it together," Miles said with determination.

In a hesitant voice, Edwina asked, "Do you think he will believe us?"

"I don't see why he wouldn't," Miles replied. "Besides, I can be rather convincing when I want to be."

Edwina shifted her gaze towards the window. "What we will reveal to Bennett will no doubt shatter his idyllic life."

Miles leaned forward in his chair, drawing back Edwina's attention. "No life is idyllic. Everyone has their own struggles and hardships. Some just hide it better than others."

A wistful sigh escaped Edwina's lips as she admitted softly, "My life was pretty idyllic when my father was still alive."

Miles heard the sadness in her voice and he wished he had the power to wipe away the lingering pain in her heart. He wanted nothing more than for her to be happy- no, he needed it.

Edwina lowered her gaze to her lap. "I'm sorry," she murmured, almost too quiet for him to hear.

"There is no need to apologize," Miles said. "I want you to be honest with me about how you are feeling."

"Sometimes I feel like I take five steps forward but then I take ten steps backward," Edwina sighed, her voice filled with frustration. "I can't seem to ever get ahead. "

Miles chuckled. "That is called life," he stated. "We stumble and fall, but we get back up."

Edwina regarded him with a curious expression. "How is it that you have become so optimistic all of a sudden?"

"If I am, it is because of you and your tutelage."

"I do not deserve such praise."

Miles moved closer, sitting on the edge of his seat and holding her gaze. "You have no idea what you do to me, do you?"

"What is it that I do to you?" she asked.

"You have forever altered my course, for the better," Miles declared earnestly.

Edwina shook her head. "You would have gotten there eventually."

"I am not sure if that is true," he said. "I was content in my misery, convinced that it was what I deserved and that there was no way out. But then you came along and showed me a different path, one filled with hope."

"You are too kind, but it was you that had to decide to change. No one else could do that for you," Edwina said.

Miles couldn't seem to stop staring at Edwina. Her green eyes held some kind of unspoken power over him, drawing him in with an irresistible force. It was as if every moment in his life had been leading him up to this precise moment.

He knew he should look away and end whatever hold Edwina had over him. Instead, he found himself inching closer to her, his breath mingling with hers. His eyes flickered down to her lips. Her perfectly shaped lips.

A small part of him hoped she would push him away, ending this strange dance between them. But a larger part of him wanted to kiss her. Desperately.

Edwina didn't shy away, making him wonder if perhaps she wanted this, too. He looked for any signs of hesitation that his advances were unwelcome, but he saw none.

As he was about to give in to the temptation, Bennett's thunderous voice came from next to them. "What in the blazes is going on here?" he demanded.

Miles jumped back and rose. "I… uh… nothing."

"Nothing?" Bennett asked. "You almost kissed my cousin."

Rising, Edwina said, "But he didn't."

Bennett narrowed his eyes at Miles. "This is how you act as a guest in my home?" he asked, his voice rising. "You take advantage of my cousin? Have you no shame?"

Realizing he had been caught in a scandalous position, Miles knew there was only one honorable thing he could do. "I will marry Lady Edwina."

"What?" Edwina asked, turning her gaze towards him. "Surely you cannot be serious."

"I am," Miles replied.

Edwina placed a hand on her hip. "Am I not to have a say in this?"

Bennett took a commanding step forward. "No. You will marry Miles."

"I will not!" Edwina exclaimed. "You are making a big deal out of nothing, Bennett. We didn't even kiss."

"But you would have if I hadn't walked in when I did," Bennett remarked.

"You don't know that for certain," Edwina challenged.

Miles grimaced. "We would have," he admitted. "I'm sorry, my lady. But to save your honor, I must marry you."

"My honor? Is that what you are concerned about?" Edwina asked.

Reaching out, Miles placed a hand on her sleeve. "I know this is not what you wanted, but it is the only way."

Edwina tilted her chin defiantly, yanking back her arm. "No."

"No?" Miles asked.

"You told me yourself that you don't want to get married ever again," Edwina said. "I refuse to trap you in an unwanted marriage. "

With a glance at Bennett, Miles admitted, "It isn't entirely unwanted."

Edwina gave him a knowing look. "But it isn't a love match," she argued. "Do I not deserve to fall in love?"

"You do, but—" Miles started.

She spoke over him. "There is no ‘but' about it," she stated. "I will only marry for love. That is what I deserve."

"Edwina, be reasonable," Bennett attempted.

Turning to face her cousin, Edwina's expression was set in firm determination. "You are the only one that knows about what almost happened here. You must promise not to say a thing and this talk of marriage nonsense goes away."

Bennett frowned. "And why should I promise such a thing?"

"Because you will want my discretion as well," Edwina replied.

"With what?" Bennett asked.

Edwina pressed her lips together before saying, "Uncle Lionel is not the man that he claims to be."

Bennett eyed her warily. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means…" Edwina's voice trailed off and she looked over at Miles with uncertainty in her eyes.

Miles knew Edwina would probably chide him on his familiarity but he knew she could use his help at the moment. He placed his hand on the small of her back and murmured, "You can do this."

Edwina gave him a grateful look. "Where should I even begin?"

"At the beginning," Miles replied.

Bennett tossed his hands up in the air. "What are you two even going on about?" he demanded.

With a decisive nod, Edwina replied, "Uncle Lionel lied about me not receiving an inheritance. My father specified in the will that I was to receive ten thousand pounds."

"Why would he do such a thing?" Bennett asked .

"I don't know, but I have seen the will," Edwina replied. "Furthermore, if the rumors from the villagers are true, your father is bankrupting this estate."

Bennett let out a wry chuckle. "You know not what you speak of."

"Then enlighten me," Edwina said.

"Our estate is profitable. Father has told me as much," Bennett responded.

Miles gave Bennett a questioning look. "Have you seen the ledgers to confirm that?"

Bennett scoffed. "No, but my father is very particular about who gets to see the ledgers. He wants to prove that he can do it himself," he explained.

"But you are the heir," Miles remarked.

"Regardless, there is no proof to what you are saying," Bennett said. "You are asking me to trust the word of villagers over my own father."

Edwina arched an eyebrow. "What about my inheritance?"

Bennett paused. "I will admit that is disconcerting, but I am sure my father has a perfectly rational explanation to it all."

Miles turned towards Edwina and said, "You need to tell him the worst part."

"I don't know if he is ready," Edwina whispered.

"It is the only way," Miles assured her.

Bennett glanced between them, an irate look on his face. "Will someone explain to me what is going on?"

Edwina met her cousin's gaze and revealed, "Your father has a mistress."

Bennett's mouth dropped. "You cannot be in earnest," he claimed.

"I… we … saw them on the way to the village," Edwina said. "Uncle Lionel's coach was parked out front of a cottage and we saw them embrace warmly. "

"How do you know it was his mistress?" Bennett asked.

Miles' voice was calm as he shared, "The boy that was by his mother's side looked a lot like Lord Dallington."

Bennett ran a hand through his hair, making it terribly disheveled. "I don't believe you. Either of you."

"Why would we lie?" Edwina asked.

"I don't know, but this is all impossible," Bennett declared. "You must have been mistaken on what you saw."

Compassion echoed in every word that Miles spoke as he tried to convince his friend of what they had witnessed. "I'm sorry, but we know what we saw. And it was far from innocent."

"You are wrong!" Bennett shouted.

Edwina's face softened. "I wish we were," she said.

Bennett started pacing the small room as he retreated to his own thoughts. Miles dropped his hand and created more distance between him and Edwina.

After a long, tense moment, Bennett stopped pacing and turned to face them. "I know you believe what you are saying to be true, but my father can't be who you claim he is. He is not a liar or a cheater."

Miles opened his mouth to reply, but Bennett continued. "And I will prove it to you. We shall confront my father and he will tell you this is all one big misunderstanding."

"Do you think that is wise?" Miles inquired.

Bennett's jaw clenched. His voice was gruff as he spoke, the strain of emotions evident in every word. "What choice do we have?" he asked. "You two seem to believe the worst of my father."

Edwina approached her cousin and slipped her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry, Cousin. I truly am," she said before she turned and quickly left the room.

Once Edwina had departed from the library, Bennett pointed his finger at Miles. "This changes nothing," he declared. "You will marry my cousin! "

Miles met Bennett's gaze with a calm determination. "If she will have me," he replied.

"Oh, she will!" Bennett exclaimed. "Her actions have consequences. She must accept that."

With that, Bennett stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Miles dropped down onto the nearest chair, finally feeling as if he could breathe. The conversation with Bennett had gotten away from them, but he could understand his friend's hesitation. They were asking him to believe his father was capable of despicable things.

As bad as that was, he now had the terrible misfortune of trying to convince Edwina to marry him. He had vowed never to get married again, but he couldn't risk leaving Edwina's reputation in shambles. Not for his mistake. He should never have tried to kiss her. But a part of him didn't regret his actions.

A marriage to Edwina wouldn't be so bad, he thought, and that is when he realized he was smiling.

Edwina made her way over to the Warrens' cottage, each step becoming more irate. She was furious at Miles for even proposing the ludicrous idea of a union between them. She refused to enter an arranged marriage, knowing Miles would never truly love her. He was too in love with his late wife to ever open his heart again.

She wanted more out of a marriage. She deserved that. Yet Miles and Bennett were so keen on her throwing away her life on a kiss that never happened. Yes, she wanted to kiss Miles. In that moment, nothing else had mattered. All she wanted was to feel his lips on her own. But they had been interrupted. Which was for the best .

So why did she hope Miles would try kissing her again?

Edwina arrived on the Warrens' doorstep and pounded on the door. The door promptly opened and Mr. Warren greeted her with a kind smile.

"Good afternoon, my lady…" His words trailed off. "What is wrong?"

"Bennett is trying to force me into an arranged marriage," she informed him.

Mr. Warren put his finger up, indicating he needed a moment. He turned his head and shouted, "Betsy!"

A moment later, Mrs. Warren appeared in the doorway as she rubbed her hands on an apron that was tied around her neck. "Whatever is the matter, Dear?"

Mr. Warren tilted his head towards Edwina. "Lord Dunsby is trying to force Lady Edwina into an arranged marriage."

Mrs. Warren gasped. "Dear heavens, no!"

Edwina bobbed her head. "Yes, and he is being entirely unfair about it."

Ushering her inside, Mrs. Warren asked, "Can I get you a cup of tea?"

"No, thank you," Edwina said.

"Are you sure? It has been my experience that a cup of tea can help even the most difficult situations seem a little bit more tolerable," Mrs. Warren encouraged.

Edwina frowned. "Not this situation."

Mrs. Warren led her into the room off the entry hall and said, "Now tell us what happened and do not leave anything out."

With a sigh, Edwina shared, "Lord Hilgrove and I were having a discussion and one thing led to another and we almost kissed."

"You did?" Mrs. Warren asked, exchanging a worried glance with her husband.

"Yes, and Bennett caught us," Edwina said. "Next thing I know, Lord Hilgrove has offered to marry me, and Bennett accepted on my behalf."

Mr. Warren furrowed his brow. "You do realize that people have married for much less," he said, the concern evident in his frown.

"Yes, but we didn't kiss," Edwina said. "We almost kissed. There is a difference."

"That may be true, but you were caught in a scandalous position by your cousin," Mr. Warren pressed. "It is only right that you marry Lord Hilgrove."

Tossing up her hands, Edwina asked, "Whose side are you on?"

"Yours, and always yours," Mr. Warren replied. "But I am trying to have you look at this objectively."

Edwina turned her attention towards Mrs. Warren, who had been unusually silent. "What do you think?"

Mrs. Warren offered her a weak smile. "We would be happy to hide you away until this passes, but I do not think that is the right thing to do."

"You don't?"

"No, Lord Hilgrove seems to be a fine man," Mrs. Warren said. "Why do you take issue with marrying him?"

Edwina felt her shoulders slump. "Because he could never love me. He is still in love with his late wife."

Mrs. Warren approached her and placed a comforting hand on her sleeve. "There is only one reason why I see you objecting to this marriage, then."

"What is that?" Edwina asked.

In a calm voice, Mrs. Warren said, "You love him, don't you?"

Edwina reared back, not wanting to believe it was true. "No, that is impossible. We are friends, nothing more."

"Yet your eyes betray your emotions," Mrs. Warren said. "You care for him far more than just a friend."

"I may care for him, but that is a far cry from loving him," Edwina defended. "Besides, it doesn't matter. Lord Hilgrove is marrying me only out of honor."

Mrs. Warren dropped her arm but remained close. "I think there is more there, for both of you."

"You would be wrong," Edwina asserted. "I can't… I won't… marry a man that doesn't love me."

"Then what shall you do?" Mrs. Warren asked.

A thought occurred to Edwina. "I can run away and play golf. It is all the rage in Scotland and I am sure I can learn to love it."

"That is an interesting option, but let's put it aside for now," Mrs. Warren suggested.

A knock came at the door of the cottage, interrupting their conversation.

Mrs. Warren departed from the room to open the door and a moment later she returned with Miles by her side.

Edwina huffed, dispensing with the pleasantries. "What are you doing here?"

Miles smiled, as if he found her blunt question to be humorous. "Hello, my lady," he replied. "It is good to see you, too."

"We just saw one another in the library, or have you forgotten?" Edwina asked, her voice taking on an edge.

"I remember perfectly, but Bennett was hoping we could speak to his father soon about the important matter we discussed earlier," Miles replied.

Edwina tensed. "Already?"

"Yes, Bennett is rather eager to get the issue resolved," Miles explained. "May I escort you back to the manor?"

With a wave of her hand, Edwina said, "That is not necessary. I can find my way back on my own."

"It would be no bother, my lady, seeing as I am already here," Miles pressed.

Edwina had been raised to be a lady, but she didn't feel like it. Not here. Not now. Her emotions were too discombobulated for her to even attempt to make sense of them. All she was certain of was that she cared too much for Miles to marry him and pine after him for the rest of her days.

Miles took a step closer to her and lowered his voice. "Nothing has changed between us, my lady. We are still friends."

Her eyes widened. "How can you say that?" she asked. "You want me to marry you."

"Yes, and I hope to convince you of that. But first, we have more important issues to discuss with Lord Dallington," Miles insisted.

Edwina knew that Miles was right and it irked her. She needed to be rational about all of this. One thing at a time.

"Very well," she conceded. "You may walk me back to the manor."

"Thank you," Miles said, offering his arm.

She glanced down at his arm, desperately wanting to refuse his assistance, but propriety won out. She placed her hand on his arm and forced a smile to her lips. "Thank you, my lord."

Mrs. Warren walked with them to the door. "It was a pleasure to see both of you today," she said as she opened the door. "You are always welcome in our home."

As they walked out onto the path that led back to the manor, Edwina asked, "Did you truly have to offer for me?"

"Are we doing this now?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "What were you thinking?"

He stopped and turned to face her. "We were caught in a compromising situation. It was the only thing I could think of to save your reputation."

"That is ridiculous," she said. "I could have threatened Bennett to not say anything."

"You, threaten someone?" Miles asked, amused.

Edwina nodded. "I can be quite scary when I want to be."

"I'm afraid I haven't seen it," Miles responded. "Regardless, do you truly think that Bennett won't tell your aunt, or your uncle?"

"So what if my family knows?" she asked.

"It has been my experience that servants love nothing more than to gossip and word will eventually get out." Miles reached out and placed a hand on her sleeve. "Bennett was right that we should marry, and quickly."

"Why?" she asked.

With a devilish grin, Miles said, "Because I want to kiss you and it is only a matter of time before I do so."

Edwina felt a blush forming on her cheeks, knowing she felt the same, but she didn't dare admit that. Not to him. "But that doesn't mean we should have to get married."

"Does this mean you wish to kiss me, too?" Miles asked, his grin widening.

"No, you flatter yourself, my lord," she said as she worked to keep her voice steady.

Miles winked at her. "I understand."

Edwina pursed her lips together before asking, "Did you just wink at me?"

"Yes, I did," Miles replied. "I suspect you wish to kiss me, just as much as I wish to kiss you."

Her mouth dropped, feeling a spark of outrage. "I am a lady, and you are supposed to be a gentleman."

Miles took a step closer to her. "I know precisely who you are, Edwina, and that is why I wish to marry you."

How she wished his words were in earnest. He only wanted to do the honorable thing by marrying her. She could feel tears prick in the back of her eyes and she blinked them away. "But could you ever love me?"

"I don't know," Miles replied with a look of regret on his features. "I do know that I care for you. Greatly."

"And I care for you, but that isn't enough for me," Edwina said, brushing past him .

Miles quickly caught up to her and matched her stride. "I am not going to give up that easily," he responded.

"I wish you would."

"What if your cousin challenges me to a duel?" Miles asked.

Edwina glanced over at him and said, "Then I will be your second."

Miles chuckled. "You, my second?"

"Yes, I know how to shoot a pistol," she replied. "I am quite good at it, actually."

"That may be true, but women are not seconds."

Coming to a stop on the path, Edwina turned to face Miles, feeling her chest heave with anger. "Women are not some defenseless creatures that need protecting."

"I never said that," Miles said. "But women are more rational, and duels stem more from passion and misplaced honor. I daresay you would spend most of your time trying to talk us out of the duel."

"Of course I would. Duels are stupid," Edwina declared.

"I won't disagree with you there."

Edwina let out a deep breath as she tried to contain her emotions. "I am sure that we can speak rationally to Bennett about our circumstance, and he will come to the same agreement as we have."

"That we should marry," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "No, that we part as friends since it was an unfortunate misunderstanding."

Miles gave her a knowing look. "But it wasn't a misunderstanding."

"I thought you didn't want to ever get married again."

"That is true. But I am not as opposed to it as I once was," Miles said.

Edwina crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't you want to marry the girl of your choosing and not someone you were forced to marry? "

"Who says I am not?"

"Be serious."

Miles' lips twitched. "I am," he replied. "I know our circumstances are not ideal, but we could make this marriage work."

She dropped her arms to her sides. "I'm sorry, Miles, but I want more out of a marriage than mutual toleration."

"Is that what you think I am offering?"

Edwina stepped forward and placed her hand over his heart. "If we did marry, I would want all of you, including all the spaces of your heart."

Miles grew somber. "I can't give you that, at least right now."

"Would you be ready in the future?"

His face fell. "I don't know," he said, his words sounding pained.

Edwina took a step back. "Thank you for trying to do the honorable thing. You are a good man, perhaps the best that I know. But I would rather remain a spinster than marry a man that couldn't love me."

And with that, she turned and hurried down the path, not bothering to wait for Miles. She then realized that she had made a terrible mistake. She had fallen in love with him.