Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

J ulia and the girls were enjoying a leisurely riding lesson on the estate grounds when the sudden sound of a carriage rolling to a stop nearby caught her attention. Before she could react, a shrill voice pierced the air, filled with indignation and fury.

"What is going on here? How dare you have my granddaughters behaving in this manner!"

Julia looked up, her heart lurching in her chest as she recognized the source of the voice—Rafe's mother, the Dowager Countess of Ashton. The lady descended from the carriage, her face flushed with outrage and her finger trembling as she pointed accusingly at the girls.

"What is this nonsense?" the dowager countess demanded, her voice sharp as a whip. "Why are my granddaughters riding astride?" She all but screamed the last word, her usual decorum forgotten in the face of what she clearly considered an unforgivable breach of propriety.

Julia quickly glanced at Grace and Emma, who sat astride their ponies with trousers peeking out from beneath their dresses—trousers that Julia had stayed up late the last few nights sewing for them. The girls' eyes were wide with worry, tears beginning to gleam in their gaze as they looked at their grandmother, clearly distressed by her reaction.

Lifting her chin, Julia met the dowager's fierce gaze with calm resolve. "They are learning to ride astride, Lady Ashton, for their own safety and confidence."

"Riding astride?" the dowager countess repeated, her voice incredulous. "In boys' trousers? This is unacceptable!"

Without another word, the dowager turned sharply on her heel, her skirts rustling as she whirled around and marched toward the main house, her outrage palpable.

Julia felt a pang in her heart as she saw the distress on the girls' faces. Emma and Grace looked as if their world had just been shaken, their usual joy replaced by uncertainty and fear. Julia reached out, helping them dismount their ponies, and placed a reassuring hand on each of their shoulders.

"Do not worry, my darlings," she said softly, giving them a comforting smile. "There is nothing to fear. You have done nothing wrong. Why don't you head inside, change into your dresses, and spend the rest of the day reading? I will join you as soon as I can."

The girls hesitated, still clearly upset, but they nodded and obediently walked, their small faces reflecting a mix of worry and trust in Julia's words. As they returned to the house, Julia took a deep breath, steeling herself for the confrontation she knew was coming.

Once the girls were out of sight, Julia followed the path the dowager had taken, her heart beating faster with each step. When she reached Rafe's study, she paused for a moment outside the door, gathering her thoughts. She knew this would be a difficult conversation but was determined to stand her ground.

Julia lifted her hand to knock on the study door but froze when she heard Lady Ashton's voice, sharp with anger.

"How could you marry a Fairbanks ?" the dowager countess demanded, her tone dripping with disdain. "When I got your letter, I fainted. I thought this must be some jest, then saw the announcement in the papers. Why did you not take her as your mistress instead? Everything about her is unsuitable to be your wife and the Countess of Ashton."

Julia's breath caught in her throat, her hand trembling as she pressed it to her mouth to stifle a gasp. He thought me unsuitable in every way, she thought, feeling her heart sink.

"I considered those reasons," Rafe replied calmly, though there was a hint of tension in his voice, "and that was why I determined to stay away from her until circumstances forced our hand."

Julia's heart clenched painfully. So, he truly believed it.

"How can you see how that woman cares for my granddaughters and allow it? She had them parading around like common boys?"

"They were learning to ride in a way that will make them stronger and more confident riders, Mother I believe it's important for them to have skills that will serve them well throughout their lives."

Rafe's defense loosened some of the cold knot of doubt inside Julia's chest.

"Skills?" The dowager countess scoffed, her tone dripping with disdain. "What nonsense . Girls of their standing should be learning grace, poise, and proper decorum, not gallivanting about like wildlings. Have you forgotten they are Lady Anna's children? Have you forgotten what she wanted for them?"

Those harsh words pierced Julia's heart with pain.

The dowager countess did not give him a chance to reply.

" Why did you do it?" Lady Ashton pressed, her voice rising in outrage. "Lady Celdon had arranged a suitable match for her. Why would you risk everything—your position, your daughters—by tying yourself to someone so beneath you? Just today, I witnessed a horrid breach of propriety. The girls wearing trousers, riding astride? One would expect such behavior from the lowborn, not from someone of your standing. I cannot imagine what other travesty she has done. Were you foolish enough to believe you had some affection for her? Is that why you acted so rashly?"

"No, I cannot explain as you would not understand. I hardly understand myself," Rafe said, his tone icy and indifferent.

"You do have your reservations," his mother cried, her voice triumphant as if she'd found the chink in his armor.

There was a long, heavy silence, and then Rafe spoke, his tone low and measured, "I do have reservations. A part of me hopes I might never fall in love with her. But those reasons are my own and have nothing to do with the nonsense you speak."

Julia felt as though a dagger had been driven into her heart. Whirling around, she fled down the hallway, her footsteps echoing through the quiet manor as she raced up the stairs to her room. The tears she had been holding back now flowed freely, and she slammed the door shut behind her, leaning against it as sobs wracked her body.

How could I have been so foolish? she thought, her heart aching with the weight of her emotions. Every day spent with Rafe had been a wonder, filled with passion, respect, and a deepening love she had never expected simply because she had not known love could be like this before him.

And yet, he hoped he wouldn't fall in love with her. He thought her unsuitable to be his countess. The raw, wounded sound that slipped from Julia's throat shocked her. She pressed her hand to her chest, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging within her. She tried to tell herself that they were just words, but the words had cut deep, wounding her in ways she hadn't anticipated.

What kind of marriage is this? she thought, feeling a heavy sense of despair settle over her. A marriage is lifelong and irrevocable. And yet, how can I endure this if he doesn't believe in me, in us?

Julia wiped away her tears and squared her shoulders. She would not allow herself to be broken by this. If Rafe couldn't see her worth, then she would show him. She would prove to him and everyone that she was more than capable of being the Countess of Ashton.

Moving to the wardrobe, she pulled out one of her most elegant dresses—a gorgeous deep emerald gown. She rang for her lady's maid and, with her aid, stripped off her gentleman's clothes, tossing them aside, and dressed with meticulous care. A fierce determination burned within her as she smoothed the fabric over her body.

Her hair was styled with precision, every curl in place, and when she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw the epitome of a countess staring back at her. The woman in the reflection was composed, poised, and ready to face her husband and the dowager countess.

With a final deep breath, Julia left her room and descended the stairs, her heart pounding. She walked with purpose, every step measured and graceful until she reached the kitchen, where the servants bustled about with their duties.

"Mrs. Davidson," Julia called, her voice steady and calm as she addressed the housekeeper.

The older woman turned, her eyes widening slightly as she saw Julia's appearance. "Yes, my lady?"

"The dowager countess has called and will perhaps visit for a few days. Please see that her chamber is ready. I would like to go over the dinner menu for tonight," Julia said. "Let's make sure everything is in order."

"Yes, of course, my lady," Mrs. Davidson replied, nodding as she led Julia to the kitchen table where the menu was laid out.

As they discussed the evening's arrangements, Julia's mind was focused on the task at hand, but a part of her was already planning her next steps. She would be the perfect countess in every way and make Rafe see that she was not only suitable but the only woman who could stand by his side.

If only she did not feel so hollow inside.