Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

R afe had never known his home could be so filled with joy. The girls' laughter and the sound of their feet skipping down the hallways echoed through the manor, infusing the old house with a new, vibrant energy. Even the servants seemed different—always smiling as they went about their work, their eyes lighting up whenever they saw the girls or his wife. Mrs. Tilby, who had once been a staunch guardian of propriety, even remarked that the girls were more attentive in the schoolroom, crediting it to the positive influence of her ladyship.

Perhaps there was something to be said for a bit of rule-breaking after all.

Rafe and Julia had only been married eight days, and already his wife seemed to know the names of every staff member she encountered. She graciously thanked them for their work, and the beaming smiles they returned made Rafe realize how accustomed he had become to merely commanding and expecting obedience.

The days and nights had passed in a sensual blur. It sometimes seemed to Rafe that they spent more time naked than clothed, and he found himself endlessly fascinated by Julia's passion and the way she matched his desire. Unlike his time with Anna, where he had always been mindful of her delicate sensibilities and kept their encounters few and gentle, with Julia, there was an intoxicating intensity that he couldn't resist. She provoked feelings in him that he wasn't entirely comfortable with—feelings that made him feel out of control, something he wasn't used to.

He realized how deeply she had affected him when he found himself abandoning his duties just to watch her teach his daughters how to swim in the lake. Julia had also taken them out in a rowboat, listening to them read as they drifted along the water. Later, they spent the day building a kite, turning it into a lesson on patience and diligence. The girls had been rewarded with the sight of the kite soaring high in the sky, their laughter filling the air.

Julia was an astonishingly talented pianoforte player, even impressing the hard-to-please Mrs. Tilby with her ability. The girls, who had previously dreaded their music lessons, now begged to have them daily. Even when he knew he had work to attend to, Rafe found it impossible to keep away from Julia. She was turning his life upside down, and he wasn't sure how to handle it.

That evening, Rafe opened the connecting door to Julia's bedchamber and was surprised to find the room brightly lit, with a roaring fire in the hearth. Julia sat in the center of the bed with Emma and Grace, surrounded by letters. He blinked, momentarily taken aback by seeing his daughters out of bed at such a late hour.

"Who is this one from?" Emma chirped as Julia pried open a letter.

"Ah, this one is from my sister Lizzy, also known as the Duchess of Ravenswood."

"Your sister is a duchess?" Grace gasped, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes," Julia replied with a grin.

"Is she very proper?" Emma asked, clearly curious.

Julia laughed. "Oh, dear me, no. Lizzy is a right hellion. Once, she even challenged a gentleman to a duel."

Rafe nearly choked on the air at that revelation. Somehow, he had thought his mother repeated unfounded gossip.

"What does her letter say?" Grace asked, her excitement bubbling over.

"Let me see," Julia said, clearing her throat. "Dearest Julia, I am not at all surprised you are now the Countess of Ashton. Fanny told me she suspected you owned a tendre for the earl. I shall listen to your plea and not descend on your home for a visit—yet. I am delighted to have two more nieces to adore. Please let Grace and Emma know I cannot wait to meet them and teach them how to hunt."

The girls gasped in unison. "Hunt?"

"Oh, yes," Julia said, her eyes twinkling. "Lizzy taught me, and she is rather brilliant at it."

She finished reading the letter and reached for another. "Oh, girls, this one is from my sister Emma—your namesake, Emma. She says, ‘Dearest Jules, Grace, and Emma, we are thrilled to learn we have two more darling girls in our family. I'm already preparing gifts for when we see you this Christmas in Penporth.'"

"Penporth?" Emma asked, tilting her head in curiosity.

"It's the small village where we grew up," Julia explained, affectionately running the back of her finger over Emma's nose. "We always spend a couple of weeks in December there. All my siblings with their husbands and wives and children."

"Will we go too? To meet all our aunts and uncles?" Grace asked, her voice full of hope.

Julia hesitated. "I shall speak to your papa about it. What do you and your father usually do for Christmas?"

"We go to church with Aunt Rebecca and grandma," Emma said. "Then we have a feast, and after that, we go to bed."

Julia's expression softened. "Your grandma and Aunt Rebecca will miss you dreadfully if we leave for Christmas."

"But we want to meet the rest of our Fairbanks family," Grace cried. "We want to meet Lily and our other cousins!"

Rafe lifted a brow. Our Fairbanks family? It seemed his daughters were already seeing themselves as part of Julia's extended family, an idea that brought a surprising warmth to his chest.

Bloody hell. It would infuriate his mother. He also smiled, imagining her outrage.

"Very well," Julia said with a smile. "We shall invite your grandmother and Aunt Rebecca to accompany us."

Rafe nearly groaned. His mother would never consider visiting a place like Penporth. But before he could voice his thoughts, the girls began to laugh and chatter about all the new things they would learn and the family they would meet. As Rafe watched them, he couldn't help but smile. Julia glanced up, and when their eyes met, the sweetest smile touched her lips, freezing him in place.

His heart thundered in his chest—how was it possible to feel so much just from a smile?

"Your father is here," Julia said, her voice warm, "and I think he's ready for our chess game."

"Can we play too?" Emma asked eagerly.

Julia laughed. "It's time for bed, little ladies. Tomorrow, I'll start teaching you."

The girls hugged her tightly, their faces glowing with love and happiness. The sight brought a lump to Rafe's throat. He knew, with absolute certainty, that if he had married any of the women on his mother's list, his daughters wouldn't be as delighted or content as they were now. A cold realization settled in his chest, and he sent a silent prayer of thanks to the heavens that Julia had been the one to end up as his wife, even if it had been through an accidental compromise.

He could not imagine any other woman sleeping in his arms each night, crying out her pleasure so wantonly, or laughing and talking to him so freely without worrying about propriety. Their nightly conversation covered all sorts of topics from gossip, farming techniques, politics, and how they could delight in each other while making love.

He tried to close out the memory of her sweet, lush lips closing over his cock last night as she learned to please him that way.

The girls ran to their rooms, their excitement barely contained, and Rafe moved toward the bed where Julia waited. Without a word, he lifted her into his arms and carried her to his bedchamber. She looked around, noticing the chess set already placed on the bed, and smiled at him.

"You already won four out of our six games," she said, her voice filled with amused accusation.

"Sore loser," he replied with a grin, placing her gently in the center of the bed.

They settled in for a rousing game of chess, the playful competition at times saw his wife grabbing a pillow to teasingly hit him.

"Who taught you?" she cried, biting her lip in fierce concentration. "You are too good."

"It was my father," he said with a chuckle. "He had a routine where he would spend two hours with me each day before he started his day. He would teach me about my inheritance, how to be strategic and practical, how to think with my mind and not my heart."

"What is wrong with thinking with your heart?"

"It makes fools of us men. Emotions cannot be trusted. Only pragmatism that is calmly reached.

She wrinkled her nose. "Have you ever thought with your heart and not your logic?"

"When I married you," he answered before thinking. Hell. It revealed far too much to his countess.

Her eyes widened, and then she gave a delighted shout of laughter. Bemusement filled Rafe's chest, and then he smiled.

"We need to hurry and finish this game so I can ravish you," she said, leaning over to pluck up a knight.

Julia was quick-witted and strategic, making the game a thrilling challenge. Rafe was more impressed with each move she made, and her intelligence and sharp mind matched her beauty in a way that captivated him completely.

After several intense plays, Rafe finally won the game. Julia laughed, clearly enjoying the challenge despite her loss. He reached out, drawing her into his arms, and their playful banter melted into a kiss—soft at first, then deepening into something more passionate.

As the fire crackled in the hearth, casting a warm glow around the room, Rafe made love to his wife, cherishing every moment of their connection. Although his feelings for her were overwhelming, he embraced them fully instead of forcefully shoving them aside.

Almost an hour later, Julia lay peacefully against his chest, her breathing soft and even as she slept. Rafe gazed at her lovely face, but as he did, a familiar dread began to stir within him. The old fear clawed at his heart—what if he lost her the way he lost Anna? The thought twisted inside him, spreading like a slow poison. How could he have been so careless, taking her to his bed almost every day since their first night together?

Rafe frowned, trying to shake off the dark thoughts. Why am I even thinking about this now? He had faced these fears before and battled them with logic and reason. Only after conquering those nightmares did he decide he was ready to marry again. When his mother urged him to remarry three years ago, he had been plagued by terrible dreams—visions of a faceless new wife dying as she struggled to give him an heir.

But he had conquered those emotional thoughts. Rafe had spoken to doctors and midwives and read countless articles by noted physicians on the reasons some women lost their lives in childbirth. He understood that it didn't happen to every woman, that death, while inevitable, was not something to live in fear of.

His heart had healed, and he believed himself ready to move forward. Yet now, as he looked at the sweet contentment on Julia's face, the thought of her pregnant and possibly losing her life brought a cold wave of terror crashing through him.

By God, she already means so much to me .

Ruthlessly, Rafe pushed those insidious fears aside, refusing to let them take root. He tightened his arms around her, drawing comfort from the warmth of her body against his. Slowly, he allowed himself to relax, focusing on the steady rise and fall of her breathing until he, too, drifted into sleep, holding her close.