27. Chapter 27

Chapter twenty-seven

Robert spent the day numbly going about his duties. He planned to remove himself as soon as possible, but with the House of Lords still in session, he had other responsibilities here. Perhaps he could rent a room somewhere, but the thought of wallowing in his own self-pity while in a dim, dirty apartment did not sound appealing. He would avoid Louisa and give her space, and then leave when he could.

His heart beat dully in his chest. What had all that work been for? He tore down his walls and let her in—tried to be a man worthy of her love—and all for naught. If anything, he was seeing what Louisa meant about love. It could grieve you to your very bones.

Unable to focus on anything that required an ounce of concentration, he decided to get some air. Perhaps a walk would give him the ability to sort through his thoughts and emotions.

As he walked down the hall to the front door, he was surprised to see a trunk tucked against the wall.

"What?" He spun toward the stairs as Louisa was descending, looking at her feet. "Louisa? What is this?" Robert jerked a thumb toward the chest.

She spared him a quick glance before looking back at her feet. "It is not fair that you leave. You have business to attend to, and this is my choice." She made it to the black and white marbled floor. "I will go to Henry's estate in Tunbridge and visit Violet, my mother, and little Colin."

"Just like that?" The words whispered past his lips. Perhaps it wasn't work tethering him here after all. It may have been his mind's way of keeping her near him. For now that she was leaving, he felt ill.

Louisa nodded. "It will be . . . good. The space will allow time to—"

"To forget?"

Her brown, dewy eyes jerked up. She raised her chin. "To think."

"When do you think you will be back?"

Louisa took a deep breath, looking toward the door as Brooks lifted her trunk and carried it outside. "I do not know. A month? Perhaps more."

"More?" Desperation caused him to take a step closer. He stopped himself. "Do you think that is necessary?"

"I am unsure what is necessary. I will keep you updated. And if you need something, I will come back. Assuming we keep to our separate quarters."

Bright light filtered in from the door. It was such a contrast to the overall mood of the moment and Robert found he would much rather it be gray and raining.

"That will not be necessary." His finger began pattering against his leg. He could not meet her eyes.

Brooks stood by the door, holding it open. "The carriage is ready, Your Grace."

Louisa gave him a weak smile before turning back to Robert. She reached a hand out, taking his pattering fingers in a firm grasp. "I really am sorry," she whispered. Her lower lip quivered, on the brink of tears.

"I will be here when you are ready." He pulled his fingers away, and she hesitated for a brief moment before turning and following Brooks out to the carriage.

Yes, Robert would be here when she was ready, but for Louisa, that would mean she had successfully buried any feelings she had incurred over the last couple of months—her armor reinforced and ready to withstand anything. No matter what . . . Robert would lose.

Louisa had been gone a week and Robert had never realized how sad and lonely an existence he had been living before he married. He even missed Prince and his little feet pattering down the halls, getting into whatever mischief the pup could find. Robert was so lonely that he now found himself sitting with his sister Jessica in her rose-colored room, sipping tea. She was to join their mother at Glennview in a month's time, once she had finished settling matters here in town.

"How is it you also have a room coordinated by name and color?" He stared into his cup, wishing it contained something a bit stronger.

She shrugged, taking a biscuit from the tray. "I always loved the Lavender Room in Stonemoore, so I wanted the same feeling here."

"You loved that room?" He brought his cup down onto its saucer with a faint clink.

"Yes. Is that so hard to believe?"

He scoffed. "It was not my favorite. And I hope you do not mind, but I asked Louisa to redecorate it."

"Oh? Did she not like it either?"

"No. She and I actually have similar tastes. And lavender was not among our first choices."

"How very nice for you that you have anything in common with your spouse."

Was that bitterness he detected in her tone? If so, she had nothing to be jealous of. Yes, he loved his wife, but she was doing everything in her power to convince herself that she did not, and would not, ever love him back.

"Louisa left."

Jessica's head perked up. "What did you do, Robert? Boss her around too much?"

"No." He scowled. "Rather the opposite, actually. I tried to love her, and she didn't want it. So, she left for home, and now I'm here complaining to you."

"I am likely not the one you should be complaining to. If anything, I am more along your wife's line of thinking. Though, you are only, what, ten years her senior?"

He stared into his tea, likely too cold to be enjoyable anymore. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Lord Drake was nearly thirty years older than me, so it's not exactly comparable."

She had not thought his age an issue when she gladly accepted his offer of marriage. But he kept his thoughts to himself on the matter. "No, I do not believe my age is the problem. It's Louisa's stubbornness."

Jessica let out a disbelieving laugh. "Her? If that is the case, perhaps you have merely reached an impasse, as neither of you are willing to be wrong."

"No. I changed for her. I was only foolish in thinking it would have any effect on our relationship."

"I cannot believe the stoic Duke of Boroux tried to change for someone. What made you do such a thing?" Jessica's face formed a grimace as she shifted in her seat, as if the very idea of changing for someone made her skin crawl.

He pulled the cup to his lips. "You." His breath caused the steam above his tea to swirl in the air.

"Me?" Jessica put a hand to her chest as she gave a disbelieving laugh.

"Your reaction to Lord Drake's death was most unpleasant. I didn't want that to be my fate."

"Who knew you were such a romantic?"

"I didn't. Not until then." He sighed, shaking his head. "But it doesn't matter. Louisa doesn't want a love match, and now she has left to forget me."

Jessica leaned forward, taking another biscuit, her tone light and unbothered. "Speaking of a love match, Lord Griffith came by to see me the other day."

Robert's stomach turned to stone. "Excuse me?"

"He came by for a call. Not officially, of course, as I am still in mourning, but we had a lovely time."

No, his sister was many things—calloused, sometimes a bit reckless—but she would not go so far as to start a relationship while still in mourning for her husband. And yet, that is precisely what she just admitted to. "A lovely time? Jessica, you cannot be considering another man already. That is not how things are done."

She shrugged, indifferent to his scolding. "We will keep things quiet."

"No, you will not do any such thing. You are a reflection on this family, and you cannot move on and have clandestine meetings with a man after only a couple months of mourning!"

Her nose scrunched. "You always were a prude."

"Better a prude than someone without any honor." Robert stood, his cup clanking as he set it down on the tray. "Thank you for the lovely visit, Jessica. Until next time."

"Come, now. You are leaving already?"

"Yes. If you will not listen to reason, I do not wish to further this discussion."

He strode from the room, hearing Jessica scoff as he rounded the corner into the hall. His stomach was in knots, as it seemed to be after all his recent visits with his sister.

Why had he expected anything else?