Chapter Eleven

S urely, this is madness, folly certainly.

Gigi's heartbeat tripped through her veins as Thomas practically ran with her along the road, and then when they left the hard-packed earth to flee through the rolling fields of tall grasses, flutters of anticipation bedeviled her.

Merciful heavens. He had been commanding and scandalous all in one when he'd kissed her and then whispered what he intended to do to her—with her—and it had surprised her, for she hadn't thought it possible he could be that sort of man. Though he'd apparently been a rogue in his past, it delighted her that he'd chosen to return to that man now, and she couldn't help but trembling in anticipation.

"Where are we going?"

"There is a barn not far from here. I'm confident it's used for little more than storing dry straw and perhaps other implements of farming." A wicked, intense light danced in his eyes when he spared her a glance. "Besides, the sheep are grazing, so the farmer shouldn't be along until near sunset."

"A barn?"

"Yes. Do you take exception with that?"

"Absolutely not." She tightened her hold on his hand. Some of her fondest memories had occurred in barns, from falling in love with horses and spending time with them—before her father had been forced to sell them—to more recently meeting handsome groomsmen and men from the village in barns or mews for a few moments alone for kissing or fondling.

"Good."

Then the barn came into view, and she marveled that she hadn't paid the structure much mind. Fairly weathered, sunlight showed through some of the cracks between the board, but there was a large hayloft where straw peeked through the open side. In the far distance, white dots of sheep were evident, and she'd never noticed.

Possibly because there was always something preying on her mind when she came through this stretch of road. Especially now.

"Come, Miss Hasting. It is time for us both to revisit scandal." The second they entered the barn, he tugged her into his arms. The attraction present between them caught fire and sucked them into its vortex as he kissed her thoroughly and quite relentlessly… and she couldn't have enough of him. His lips were firm but yielding and insistent, and she gave him back everything he offered. Perhaps took even more, for she had craved this moment with him since setting eyes on him. All too soon tongues were entwined, and hands were exploring until she had his cravat loosened and the ribbons of her bonnet had been untied. The headgear fell to the barn floor, forgotten.

"Damn, Genevieve, you are quite the addiction," he whispered, and the shocked desire in his eyes was all the encouragement she needed. He pitched his top hat to the ground where it bounced and rolled a few feet away. "I fear what it will do to us both."

"I know the feeling, but as you said, this afternoon is not for worrying." Gigi wrenched out of his arms. The yearning to feel his touch, his possession, was too strong to ignore. "Let's move into a more private area." She took his hand and led him toward a ladder.

As soon as they went further into the building, the pungent scent of farm animals, straw, and leather filled her nose. No beasts were in residence, and the few stalls had already been mucked out—or never used—another clue the tenant wouldn't return until nightfall. Feeling reckless and uninhibited, as Gigi climbed a wooden ladder to the hayloft above, she made certain her hip movements were exaggerated, and hoped he looked his fill. "Never let anyone doubt you are every bit a virile man," she said as they gained the loft.

"I'll admit, there have been times during this living that have been more frustrating than others. It is difficult to separate me the vicar and me the man."

"Perhaps you don't need to, for they are one and the same. Trust yourself." So easily Gigi returned to his arms. She kissed him with the verve and enthusiasm she had done for everything in her life, but doing so with him felt right, as if she'd waited for just this moment.

"Concentrate of the now, you mean."

"Yes. Truly, it is how I have survived unpleasant changes in recent years," she whispered against his lips while reaching for his cravat. "And even then, I don't think I'm doing a good job of seeing them through with grace."

"Grace is a skill one must practice."

"As is giving pleasure…"

Various bits of clothing fell to the fragrant, clean straw: his jacket, her dress and the ribbon about her waist, their gloves, his waistcoat, cuffs, collar, and cravat. Then he pulled his shirt from his body the same time Gigi removed her petticoat and stepped out of it.

"You are the most erotic sight," he breathed as he quickly worked the laces of her stays.

She cut his words off with a fierce kiss. "No talking. At least not right now." When she slowly removed the shift from her person and let it drop to the hay, Thomas gaped at her. "Well?" As outspoken as she was, Gigi had never been naked in front of a man before, and nerves beset her. "Do I pass or at the very least come up to the mark of the ladies you must have bedded in London?" Surely, he didn't consider her a country bumpkin.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are, Genevieve." Reverence threaded through his voice as he tugged off his boots. They fell to the boards of the loft with two resounding thuds. "I'm honored you chose me." Then he kneeled on the straw, looked expectantly at her until she joined him. Seconds later, he helped her remove her stockings, garters, and slippers.

"Honestly, there is no one better." When she reached for him, he reared backward and struggled out of his shirt. "There has been heat between us from the first."

"Agreed." A wicked grin curved his sensuous lips as she leaned back onto her elbows to let him look his fill. "Siren."

"Leading men to their death or a country vicar to hell?"

"Forgiveness is easier to come by, so I'm blindly following in this moment." With a knee between her legs, he spread open her thighs and then settled himself in the cradle of her hips.

This is truly going to happen!

There was nothing else to say, not that she could, for he'd claimed her lips again with the same passion he had each time they'd ever kissed. Why had she not known how heavenly kissing could be? Why had her sisters not told her that having a man's lips upon her own would both make her want to sing and to faint at the same time? Thomas pulled away long enough to strip out of his breeches, but when he came back and his naked body pressed into hers with his hardened length hot and twitching at her hip, she wanted to cry out with joy and relief.

He must think I'm a silly goose or a ninny of an innocent.

"I can almost hear you think," he whispered against her lips.

"Oh? It's not seconds thoughts, just fears that I'm not as sophisticated as the women you have known before."

"There are many different sorts of women. You are wonderful in your own way, and I adore that unique gift."

"Ah." The words were quite romantic. She lifted her chin when he dragged his lips down the side of her neck. At her collarbones, he licked the hollow between them, and when she tried to caress him, he tsked his tongue. Catching her wrists in his hands, he shoved her arms above her head.

"Leave them there while I explore every curve you possess." The same vestiges of forcefulness entered his voice like she'd detected before they'd reached the barn, and it sent shivers down her spine.

"And if I don't?" What else would he do if provoked? Suddenly, there was a new element to their play, and it had barely started.

"Then I'll be forced to tie you to one of those posts… and I rather think that's too extreme for your first time." The wicked gleam in his eyes left her breathless, but his hands on her breasts made her want to cry out in delight.

"I… Oh…" Even though she suspected some of what would happen ahead of intercourse, Gigi was unprepared to be immediately swamped with intense sensations. She curled her fingers into the fragrant straw she lay on, for every pass of his fingers, each time he rubbed them over her hard, sensitive nipples caused a cascade of pleasure down her spine and through her lower belly. But when he took one of those stiff peaks into the warm cavern of his mouth, she moaned and her back arched. "That is amazing."

"It's quite the point of this exercise." He chuckled into her skin. "Why else would people engage in sexual congress?"

"I… don't know." Her ability to think of words, let alone utter them, was rapidly slipping away the longer he played with her nipples.

Stroking. Teasing. Sucking. Biting. Soothing with his tongue until she moaned and writhed beneath him, asking him to stop but urging him to continue. What he did to her didn't compare to the experimental and rushed fumblings she'd shared with various men in an effort to touch them and have them do the same to her. This was different… adult… no going back.

"Thomas, I…" What? Words flew right out of her head, for she was nearly drowning in what he was doing to her. "This is so much better than when I pleasure myself."

"What?" He stopped his ministrations to stare at her. Shock and desire clouded his eyes. "You touch yourself?"

"Yes. A few times a month in my bed at night when I feel restless and cannot explain it." She swallowed, hoping it didn't mean she was bound for hell over that. "I learned from some of the maids over the years and watching trysts between the servants." Then she shrugged. "Also, my married friends talk."

"Every facet to you I uncover sparkles more brilliantly than the last. In short, you are fascinating." The wicked man began his heady torture all over again. She shook from his attentions; her body was so hot she feared she would burst into flame, but it was the loveliest adventure she'd ever embarked upon.

"Let me touch you," she managed to gasp while commanding her eyes to open. If she didn't, she would soon be swept away and let him do all the delicious things to her like a boring woman.

Which she was not.

"Later." He batted her hands away from his shaft. "I'll explode soon, and your touch will only send me there faster, for it has been years since I've lain with a woman."

Was that a compliment? She didn't know and hesitated to ask for it would interrupt the lovely tension and pressure building inside her body. "You've denied yourself enough as a vicar. Surely, it's time to play."

"Gigi, no, I mean it."

"I never am one to follow a man's dictates, though." Unable to keep her hands to herself, she curled one about his nape, guided him to a nipple while she caressed her free hand up and down his arm. Oh, such a solid form! "It is a crime you hide beneath somber clothing." Suddenly, she wished to learn everything about him beyond how he kept himself fit.

A growl escaped him, and the sound was so foreign to the person he was she stared. "I thought I told you not to move your hands."

"I couldn't help it." She gasped for air. His touch, the heat of him, the rasp of his course chest hair on her sensitive nipples, the sound of his voice threatened to drown her. "Let me be a part of my own ruin."

For that was exactly what faced her, and gladly would she give up her innocence without a second thought. Perhaps she might become with child, perhaps not, but she would worry over that possibility when and if it materialized. Such an occurrence would further throw her family into scandal, but she didn't care.

She wanted this. Needed this.

Needed him in this moment. Something about him called to something in her, and she'd never had that connection with anyone before. Why shouldn't she explore it?

"I have never met anyone like you." He kissed her mouth. "You might become a bad influence in my life, but I cannot help but ignore the warning in my head. I want you, must possess you."

The words sent a host of shivers along her spine. How thrilling this whole act was. "Be careful, Vicar, for I might find I like this sort of scandal far too much to let you go."

"We shall see." Thomas glided a hand slowly down her body, between her breasts, along her torso, over her abdomen. Gooseflesh trailed after him, and when he buried his fingers into her curls, she gasped in anticipation. "I won't apologize for any of it."

"I'm not asking you to. In this moment, you are not a vicar and I am not a governess." She sucked in a breath when he eased those digits along that most private part of her that no man had ever touched. "We are merely two people who desperately need an outlet and a break from a life that has suddenly become overwhelming." A surprised yelp was yanked from her throat, for he'd slid a finger along her folds until he uncovered that tiny bud at her center that made her world spark and spin.

"Then let me make you fly again. It was quite erotic the last time." The earl took possession of her lips while he continued to bedevil that little button.

"Oh, oh!" The varying degrees of friction drove her mad, and he was quite skilled. Too bad his knowledge was wasted on his insistence on being in the Church. Her hips bucked off the straw, which caused his engorged length to bump along her inner thigh. Lord, but she couldn't wait to feel him inside her body. Gigi dug her fingernails into his shoulder, she licked and nipped and kissed any part of him she could reach. A moan echoed and she pulled slightly away, breaking their kisses, but he continued with his dizzying torment. Wave upon wave of pleasure burst through her consciousness, and she rode them out while her core shuddered, and her belly fluttered.

And the invisible thread that connected them tightened a bit more.

"What are you doing to me? I don't feel myself any longer." Vaguely aware she'd spoken the words aloud, she moved her hips in hopes he would send her flying again. "That was…" She had no words. "I very much want to experience that again." If this was scandalous in the eyes of the matrons of society, they were utterly and completely wrong, and she felt sorry for them.

Perhaps they needed more of this in their lives.

"I don't believe I said I was done with you," Thomas whispered against the shell of her ear. He suckled one of her breasts and eased off. "Did you truly think that I wouldn't bedevil a woman like you as many times that I could while I have access to your body?" Those talented fingers slid over her flesh that had dampened from his attentions. Then he penetrated her body with two of those digits, stroking, pumping, stretching. When she whimpered with need—surely something would relieve the terrible pressure circling through her insides—he pressed his thumb to her throbbing button. The two sensations were unlike anything she'd ever known before, and nothing like she could have ever done to herself.

She would be lost all too soon.

"Thomas, I need more." If that was too bold, she didn't care. It was her ruination, and she would have it in a spectacular way.

"Then that is what you shall have."

The moment he closed his mouth onto a pebbled nipple, she moaned and arched her back while he kneaded her other breast. The scent of straw, combined with the lighter smell of his cologne or shaving soap that imparted notes of pine and freshly fallen snow, enhanced everything he did to her somehow. When he nuzzled the crook of her shoulder, nipped and nibbled a path between her breasts, over them, explored her navel while he continued to pleasure her with his fingers, she tried not to break apart from the intense stimulation.

"This is…" Gigi gasped for breath as she squirmed from his play. "This is wonderful." Oh, dear heavens! The wicked man dipped his head between her splayed thighs and drew his tongue along her folds. "Thomas!" It merely made her remember their time together a couple of days ago, and she further sank into the swirling vortex of sensations. As he chuckled against her skin, he encouraged that tiny bud at her center out of hiding and then set to work worrying it with his lips, alternately sucking it into his mouth and soothing it with swipes of his tongue. "I cannot last…" But she held his head tightly against her flesh, showing him exactly where she needed him. In the next second she attempted to shove him away, for the feelings were so intense she might expire, but he was stubborn.

And he didn't stop his erotic torment.

"Oh!" A keening cry left Gigi's throat the second he increased the friction against that nubbin. She squirmed, thrashed her head into the straw. "Thomas!" She curled the fingers of one hand into his hair as if he alone would keep her anchored to this world.

"I'd say that was quite satisfactory for you, hmm?" Pure masculine smugness sounded in his voice as he came back up her body.

"Careful, Mr. Alderman. I could become all too accustomed to this, and it is quite a lovely way to spend a summer afternoon." Nothing else mattered except chasing the next high.

"Ha." Thomas cut off her words with a kiss that was so poignant it knocked all thoughts from her mind. "I can delay claiming you no longer." With an arm beneath one of her knees, he fit his tip to her opening, and when she nodded, he thrust his hips, penetrating her fully and as deep as he could go.

"Ah!" As her maidenhead broke, a faint prick of pain went through her, gone in an instant, and then Gigi hooked her other leg around his, her heel digging into the soft flesh of his arse. "Oh, yes…" She moved into a more comfortable position as he stroked into her, slowly at first. "This is… This is…" Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined what coupling with a man would feel like. Her eyes popped open, and she trained her gaze on his face. "Lovely!"

He grunted. "Hush, Genevieve, and enjoy. I'm nearly gone, but I'll strive to make this memorable."

Over and over, he pumped that beautiful shaft into her body until he found a rhythm and she was able to match it. "Good Lord…" One of her hands curled around his upper arm while the other she'd flung above her head to grasp at a wooden pole that supported the roof of the barn. Each consecutive thrust grew more powerful than the last, and each time they crashed together, her world shifted. All too soon, she was lost to wonder, the heat, the soft slap of flesh, to the scrape of his chest hair over her nipples. "Thomas?"

"Hmm?" His eyes were half-shuttered, the brown depths dark and unreadable.

"I need more. Give me all of you." A waver of uncertainty had entered her voice. She squeezed his arm. "If this bit of scandal is all we will share, I want to experience everything I can." For once they came back to reality, the gulf between them would return.

"In this, I agree." And the pace of his strokes changed as he went harder, faster, deeper. Quite frankly, he claimed her, even if he didn't know it.

As much as she wanted to deny it, this man who was an impossible match for her had the ability to send her existence tip over tail. It was all too much too fast, and she wasn't ready to fall in love, especially with a man she couldn't have, so she shoved away those budding emotions. As she let the sensations take over, tears welled in her eyes.

"I'm done for, Gigi."

As was she, for her body stiffened, and when she hurtled over the edge once more, she screamed and didn't care if everyone in the countryside heard her. Then she added more to her own ruination by slipping a hand between their bodies to touch the button he'd tormented earlier.

And she fell, pinwheeled into bliss once more where there was no sound or sight, just exquisite pleasure.

With a shout, Thomas followed her into that void. She clutched at him in a bid to hold him close, her body shaking and her core convulsing around his pulsing shaft. Warmth filled her as he ground his hips into hers to prolong the sensations for them both, but eventually, it was over. He collapsed on top of her, his breathing ragged in her ear. "Dear God, that was amazing," he whispered, and he held her close.

"It was." Gigi floated on a sea of feelings and emotions she couldn't pick through let alone separate. Instead, she wrapped her arms around him, kissed his shoulder, his temple, his cheek, before pressing her trembling lips into the curve of his neck. "Better than I ever expected." And she silently cried from the glory of her first bedding and how much she had enjoyed it. "Thank you."

"You are most certainly welcome." His lips glanced along the skin beneath her ear, and she rather adored the sensations that followed. "I enjoyed returning to the rogue I used to be, if only for an afternoon."

Eventually, she stirred, and Thomas rolled onto his side to face her. "Do you miss London and the life you had there?" What she wouldn't give to return to Town and do the society circuit. It was certainly better than rusticating in the country.

"In some ways, yes, I do miss London. It was more metropolitan, there was much more to do and see, and be entertained." When he grinned, the gesture reflected in his dark eyes. "However, I grew bored with living a life of vices and needed something more fulfilling."

"Which is how you became a vicar."

"Yes." He nodded, and she was hard-pressed not to devour his naked form with her gaze. It was enough to have him near. "While it took a long time to acclimate myself to the complete change in lifestyle and location, I have come to adore country living, to be grateful for the life I lead now."

"Interesting." Was that how he would spend the rest of his life? "What do his brothers think of you as a vicar?"

"They have difficulties understanding my calling, of course, but I could no longer knock about Town, spending an allowance from my father—and now my oldest brother." He shrugged. "We are all different."

"Is this living something you see yourself doing for the rest of your life?"

"I do." Nothing but honesty shone in his eyes. "It is what I was put on this earth for, I believe." He tucked an escaped tendril of her hair behind her ear. "I enjoy ministering to my congregation, to helping them and encouraging them. Someone needs to be a light in this world."

"And you are quite skilled at it." That was something she couldn't deny. "I just wish it wasn't the whole of your life, that you would take time for yourself, for you cannot help others if you are exhausted and beaten down."

"I understand that, and it's something I'm struggling with."

"I suppose everything is a learning process." Then the temptation got the best of her and she danced her fingertips along his shoulder. "Is there a lady in his congregation that you might think would be a good life mate?" When he frowned, she rushed onward because she needed to know. "Perhaps that woman who came calling the other day?"

"Miss Partridge?" Thomas blew out a breath. "I suppose she is a candidate, but I don't know much about her."

"Except that her character is sterling, and she doesn't have a scandalous reputation." Hurt stabbed through Gigi's chest even though she already knew she wasn't for him. "But I'm certain you will need to marry."

"Indeed, and the old vicar wrote to me, saying as much." As he shook his head, he shoved the fingers of one hand through his hair, leaving it in furrowed rows. "There are many things that weigh on my mind at present. My remaining unattached might prove a problem in the future."

Gigi tried to put his hair back into some semblance of style even though they still lay in the straw. "Then you will marry a member of your congregation." It wasn't a question, but rather an eventuality. As she spoke, she sat up and reached for her shift.

"Eventually I will. Perhaps more sooner than later, for the old vicar indicated he would be forced to pass my situation up to the powers-that-be."

"And they will force you to marry anyway, lest you lose the position." Reality intruded earlier than she'd wished onto their carnal bubble. "Once you take a bride, will you retain me as the girls' governess?"

"I cannot honestly begin to say. Everything would need to be weighed against everything else."

Which meant her being let go was a certainty. The ache in her chest intensified. She swallowed to dislodge the ball of emotion in her throat. "I am putting your reputation into danger as well as tainting the girls. I should never have taken this position, for in doing so, I'll destroy all of you." Tears welled in her eyes and spilled to her cheeks, prompting her to catch them with her shift. "Because you are too much of a gentleman, I shall make this easy for you. I'll return home and—"

"Stop." He put a hand on her arm to stay her flight. "I told you before to live for the moment and that is what I am doing, what you are doing. Right now." His gaze met hers, and he offered a small grin. "It is what we must do if we wish to continue… this." He gestured between them. "Do you agree?"

Did that mean he wanted more from her than this tryst? Gigi cleared her throat. "You also said do the most good where you can. I don't feel I've done that outside of teaching your nieces about real life."

"And I appreciate that about you." Thomas nodded. A wicked light appeared in his eyes. "Coupling with you is quite good, don't you agree?"

"Well, I thought…"

"Then don't think for a bit." Then he took the shift from her hand, tossed it away. "There is just this moment." He tipped her backward into the straw, took her wrists, and pinned them over her head. "So good, in fact, that we are going to seek pleasure all over again, because sometimes, a man needs to do something for himself that has nothing to do with his future or his living."

"As it should be." Though she was confused about where this afternoon would lead or where her own life was heading, she was soon lost in his kisses. All thought and worry flew out of her head as she applied herself to kissing him back.

There would be plenty of time to worry and wonder about everything later.