14. Dev

Iwas…angry.

It was an odd feeling for me. I could count on one hand the number of times I'd been mad about something to the point I could barely think, and have plenty of fingers left over. But finding out that Ward had had a thing with this Crimson dude? It infuriated me.

And I wasn't even sure why.

Was it because he'd been so thoroughly betrayed? Yes, but no. Of course I was angry on his behalf for that, but that wasn't the source of this rage that bubbled in my chest. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was mad at Ward himself. For not volunteering the whole story about his connection to Crimson, but waiting until Crimson himself spilled the beans.

In fact, it struck me that Ward probably wouldn't have said a thing if Crimson hadn't. And that…that hurt.

Why?

Was I jealous? Immediately I rejected that thought. I didn't get jealous. Consenting adults had the right to histories, and futures, and who was I to get twisted into a knot about it?

It was more like…I wanted him to want to share stuff with me. To feel safe with me. The fact that he didn't, when I'd done everything in my power to welcome him into my life…

And now, when we had the time and the need for him to come clean, he was being silent. As usual.

"Goddammit, Ward," I growled through gritted teeth.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him flinch. "I don't think I've heard you swear so much since we met."

"I swear when I'm angry. Sue me."

"Wasn't a complaint. It's just…" He rolled a shoulder. "Odd."

When he was quiet again for a minute or two, I snapped, "We don't have time for your stoic, silent bullshit. What the hell is the real story?"

"Fuck." He scrubbed a hand through his hair, mussing the short strands on top even more than they already were. "I know. It's hard to…" He swallowed. "To admit how thoroughly I fucked up."

Some of my anger—a really, really small part—faded at the obvious pain in his voice. "Do you think I'm going to judge you?"

He let out a humorless chuckle. "Of course you will. Everyone who knows the story does."

"April?"

"Oh, April was the worst. She never called me a dumbass to my face, but it was in the tone of her voice."

"That's how she sounds with everyone."

"Yeah, but it was even more there with me." He sighed. "Okay, look. I'd love to have the excuse that I was young and stupid, but I was thirty-three when I started the affair with Crimson. Jeffrey."

"How'd you meet?"

"At a fundraising ball in DC. It was one of those ‘meet the hero' things. We were all there in our uniforms. I wasn't even the closest to the most famous hero there, but then this incredibly handsome man comes up to me and tells me that I want to dance with him. It was so different from all the others I'd spoken to that night, almost tripping over their own feet, they were so nervous around me. This guy was anything but, and he intrigued me. We ended up in bed that night."

I clenched my jaw for a second. "It took me way more effort than that to get you into bed."

"It's not a comment on you. Jeffrey…" His voice lowered. "You already know he ruined me."

I hated that he thought that. "So you slept with him on the first date. What then?"

"We started dating. Well." He chuckled, but there was no happiness in the sound. "Fucking, anyway. Every once in a while, we'd go out to dinner or something, so I thought we were dating. I didn't find out until about a year into our relationship that he'd given me a fake name. He said his name was Jeffrey Chastain, that he was an ER doctor at one of the hospitals in the city, which was why he had weird hours. It wasn't until I accidentally overheard a phone conversation where the other person referred to him as ‘Crimson' that I realized who he was."

My head whipped sideways and I stared at Ward in surprise. "He was a villain?"

I'd thought, if anything, that this dude had become a villain after stealing Ward's powers, but if he'd been a villain all along, that made what he'd done to him all the worse.

"He swore he was reformed. He'd seen the error of his ways and was getting out of the game. It was why he'd moved to DC, away from New York, where he'd been active. He actually was an emergency room doctor—he took me to the hospital to prove it. He told me about his schemes in the city, and they were all minor shit. Yes, bad stuff, but no one lost their lives and he didn't hurt anyone, only their wallets. And besides, he was getting into a different life. I—I loved him, and I believed him."

At the waver in his voice, my anger faded as though it had never been. "It was all a lie."

"Every last bit," he confirmed. "Oh, he had been a minor name in New York, but he was looking for a bigger and better angle. He was playing a long game—hook a hero, get them to trust him, as he worked on his scheme to steal their powers in the background. And I fucking fell right into his hands."

"How long were you together?"

"Seven years."

I'd already suspected that answer, but still, hearing it was something else. Seven years where Ward thought Jeffrey was the love of his life, and Jeffrey—Crimson—was plotting to hurt him in ways I couldn't even fathom. What kind of a monster did that? He'd not only stolen Ward's powers, but his heart, his trust, his sense of self.

"He told me—" Ward's voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. "When he ripped my powers out of me with his fucking machine, he told me he was glad he could stop pretending. Pretending. Everything I'd felt had been so goddamned real, and he had been pretending."

"Fuck, Ward, I'm so sorry."

He swept a hand across his cheeks. "I hate that I was so stupid, so gullible."

"It's not your fault."

"Isn't it? I was the one who was dumb enough to believe—"

"He preyed on that." I shot him a look. "Why do you think he targeted you?"

Ward frowned. "He wanted my powers."

"Sure, but every hero in SPAM was at that ball, right? What about Spearella?" Her ice abilities were legendary.

"Yes." His tone shared that he didn't know where I was going with this.

"And…oh, what's his name. Short guy, built like a fireplug, can turn his skin into a diamond-like substance so he's invulnerable?"

"Carbono."

"Yeah, him. Their abilities are right up there with yours. Actually, I'd argue that Carbono's would've been even better for him. But you know what's different between you and them?"

"I'm not following what you're trying to get at."

Of course he wasn't. Ward was brilliant as a hero, but when it came to seeing himself, he had giant blind spots. "Those two have reputations for being insatiable lovers and not too discriminatory about who they invite into their beds. I mean, I'd heard about it in training, so I'm sure it was general knowledge. So why wouldn't he have gone for them, if he wanted a class A ability? His chances of getting intimate with them would have been way higher than with you." When Ward continued staring at me like I'd grown a second head, I sighed. "He was looking for someone who was emotionally vulnerable, Ward. Someone who, if he played his cards right, he could string along for as long as needed. Someone he could manipulate."

Ward was quiet for a moment longer, before he muttered, "Fuck."

"I'm sorry."

"I mean, I knew…" He huffed out a breath that might have been a chuckle. "I knew he manipulated me. He played me like a master musician. I didn't see it until after, of course, but yeah. My ego insisted it was all because of my powers, though. Not because I was ‘emotionally vulnerable.'"

"I'm sure that was a big part of it."

"But not the main part. Goddammit." He leaned his head back against the seat. "I'm firing my fucking therapist."

"So…" I glanced at him. "Seven years?"

"You know how villains like to do their monologuing thing when they've got the hero trapped? Yeah, Crimson did that. He told me he'd actually had the machine ready in five years, but he'd hesitated to use it because he enjoyed having a hero at his beck and call for sex."

I shook my head. "Guarantee he'd just completed it. No way does a personality like that hold on to a toy for two years before using it."

Ward grunted. "Maybe. Funnily enough, he brought it out the night I proposed to him."

"Oh, damn."

"Yep." He popped the P sound. "We had sex—I thought at the time, we were making love, so stupid—and I woke up to restraints and electrodes. The pain… God, I'd never felt anything like it. It was like he was pulling my skeleton out through my pores."

"I'm sorry."

Ward shuddered. "He talked the entire time, letting me know how completely I'd been played, until I passed out. I kind of remember waking up to someone standing beside my bed, days later. I think it was April."

"You saw April?" My eyes widened. As far as I knew, no one saw April, or if they did, they didn't talk about it.

"Maybe? I don't really remember, and she never said it was her who'd found me, only that they'd checked on me after no one could reach me for two days. The next time I woke up, it was three months later."

"Jesus."

"In that time, Crimson had started making a name for himself in DC, holding up banks and armored cars with his new powers. They were mine, but different."

"Yeah, you never fired bolts of…whatever like he does."

"No. He can't start fires like I could, or fly, but those bolts are deadly. More so than even a gun, because if you get hit, it's a one-and-done."

"Christ. Anything else I should know heading into this?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I got you involved."

"Hey." I reached out and gripped Ward's thigh, squeezing it gently. "I'd be here even if we hadn't slept together. You know that, right?"

"I'm not the hero you think I am. Or was."

"You are every bit the hero I think you are. But you've buried it down deep because he hurt your soul. Your heart."

Ward swallowed. "Yeah."

"Here's the thing, though: souls—and hearts—mend. If you let them."

"Says the guy who's never let his heart get involved."

"Eh, I did, once. Back with my first boyfriend in high school. I didn't realize I was unintentionally coercing him into being with me."

"Your powers?"

I nodded solemnly. "My powers. He had to be nice, so he felt he couldn't say no. I didn't realize until he confessed to a mutual friend, who—very nicely—shared that my boyfriend wanted to break up with me but every time he tried, we ended up sleeping together instead, and he couldn't figure out why he gave in when he was absolutely determined, before I said anything to him, that he was going to walk away. I loved him, and I thought he loved me. Well, maybe he started out loving me, but it had turned to resentment of me and his lack of ability to turn me down."

"Which is why you have only friends with benefits now."

"And every time I hook up with someone, I get consent over the phone or by text, not in person."

"So I guess you're emotionally vulnerable too."

It was my turn to huff out a humorless chuckle. "Yeah, I guess so."

Ward's hand reaching out for mine was a pleasant surprise. "Call me crazy, but I'm okay with us being emotionally vulnerable together."

I swallowed. "Yeah," I agreed. "Me too."

The coordinates took us into the province of Quebec, which was right across the Ottawa River. We had to go through Pembroke to find a bridge—with me keeping an eye out for cops who might be looking for our "borrowed" SUV—then followed a winding two-lane highway through forest and farmland until we reached the hilly terrain of the Laurentian Mountains. From there, the directions I'd printed off led us to a dirt road, little more than two tire tracks, that went deeper into the forest than I had any desire to go.

But we had no choice.

"Best guess," Ward asked, his eyes straight ahead. "What are we going to find at the end of this road?"

"Could be a cottage. Maybe a hunting cabin. Maybe a campsite, I have no idea."

"Probably not a fully formed evil villain complex, then."

"I mean, never say never…" I shot him a weak grin. "But no, not likely."

He grunted.

The road was bumpy, making me glad we'd swiped an SUV and not a sedan. I put the headlights on high, but the trees were so close now, it did little to help us see what we were driving into. Branches scraped the roof and sides of the SUV, making me wince, even more determined to compensate the owners once this was all over with.

One way or another, it ended tonight. It had to.

"What's the plan?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the road.

Ward grunted. "Get Hallie out, whatever it takes."

"That goes without saying. But what about you?"

"What about me?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ward look my way. "I'm the one he wants, for whatever goddamned reason, so fine. He'll get me. Your only job is to get Hallie and run."

My gut clenched. "I'm not leaving you—"

He reached over to lay a hand on my thigh. "You'll come back for me. Or SPAM will, at least. I can hold out until then."

"I don't like it."

"I don't either, but Hallie, Dev. Think of Hallie, not me."

There had to be a way to get them both out. But the how was escaping me. If I wasn't sure Crimson would shoot me dead as soon as I opened my mouth, I'd start talking and use my abilities to their fullest extent. But he'd warned me to be quiet, which told me he had to be prepared in case I didn't heed his instructions. I wouldn't be of any help to anyone if I was bleeding out on the ground.

Finally, we rounded a corner, and the headlights travelled across a small clearing, lighting up a rustic cabin sitting squarely in the middle of it. It was closer to my second idea, a hunting cabin, than a cottage—rough-hewn logs, dark with age, made up the walls, with an equally coarse-looking front door set between two small windows. The tiniest bit of light snuck through cracks in the curtains, barely visible beyond the glare of the headlights, but it told me the cabin wasn't as deserted as it looked at first glance.

"Turn off the engine," Ward ordered, his voice tight. "No matter what, don't say a goddamned word. Don't give him an excuse to take you out. Understand?"

I nodded. "Get Hallie out, come back for you."

"That's the plan."

"For the record, I hate it."

"Duly noted."

I twisted the keys, silencing the SUV's engine, and switched the headlights to the parking lights instead. In the deep darkness, the orange glow was enough to light up the snow-covered ground between us and the cabin. We popped the doors open and hopped down. I followed Ward's example and stepped to the front of the SUV, but when he waved a hand at me, I stopped while he took a few more strides forward.

"Crimson!" he shouted. "I'm here."

The door opened immediately, telling me this Crimson dude had been waiting on the other side to make his dramatic entrance. As I'd suspected from the tiny bit of light I'd seen in the windows, there was only a single camp lantern lighting the interior of the cabin. It sat on a low table behind the man framed in the doorway.

He was shorter than I had expected, only five and a half feet or so. I'd half-thought he'd be wearing a three-piece suit, maybe topped with a white doctor's jacket, but he was in dark-wash jeans and a thick turquoise fleece quarter-zip sweater over a dark turtleneck. A pair of metal-framed glasses sat on his nose. The only thing at all remarkable about him was the shock of red hair on his head—it was truly red, not the usual orange-ish color sported by most redheads. I wondered if that's where he'd gotten his villain name.

"Ward." A smile curved his lips, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was a dear friend of Ward's seeing him again after a long time apart. Well, I supposed most of that was true, except for the "dear friend" bit. "You're looking well."

Ward crossed his arms and said nothing.

Crimson chuckled. "Ward, I said your partner couldn't say anything, not you. Didn't you miss me?"

"Not in the fucking slightest."

Crimson mockingly grabbed at his heart. "Oh, you wound me."

"Cut the bullshit. I'm here, like you wanted. Send Hallie outside."

The villain tilted his head. "I don't believe we made any such deal."

"I don't care," Ward said, taking a threatening step forward. "You don't need her, and Agent Campbell can get her to safety. I'll stay in her place, willingly. That's ultimately what you want, isn't it? Access to me again?"

The smile on Crimson's lips was chilling. "You are correct. Like I said, we have unfinished business."

Ward flung his arms to either side. "Here I am. I'm willing, as long as you let Hallie and Dev go. If you keep them, I'll make your life hell. You know I can, even without my powers."

"Hm." Crimson leaned against the doorframe, the pose casual and unbothered. "I suppose that's acceptable." He gestured to someone behind him, and suddenly Hallie was stumbling forward, down the steps of the cabin. I could tell she wanted to run, from the way her entire body trembled, but she kept her pace steady. Hurried, but steady.

"Go to Dev, sweetheart," Ward said, his voice gentle.

She nodded in understanding. As soon as she got close enough to me, I pulled her into my arms for a quick hug before guiding her behind me, so I was between her and the cabin.

"You may go," Crimson announced magnanimously. "Don't bother calling in SPAM on these coordinates, however—we'll be gone long before they get here." He made a shooing motion. "Go on, now."

My eyes shot to Ward's and held his gaze for a moment that felt like minutes, but was realistically only seconds. I wanted to run to him, to give him a kiss goodbye. Hell, I wanted to drag him back into the SUV now that we had Hallie. As soon as I had that thought, though, figures melted out of the trees around us, dressed in black and with rifles aimed in our direction.

I swallowed.

"Go," Ward said softly. "I'll be all right."

He wouldn't. I knew he wouldn't. But what choice did I have?

"Get in," I ordered Hallie, my voice strangled.

She hesitated. "But Ward—"

I nodded, the motion jerky. "I know. Get in, Hal."

Biting her lip, she scrambled to the door behind the driver's and climbed in. I followed suit, even as Crimson's minions moved forward into the clearing to fully surround Ward, their guns never wavering.

The temptation to mow them all down with the SUV was strong, but I couldn't take the chance. There were at least six men and women, and I wouldn't be able to get all of them before one—or more—shot Ward.

With my teeth gritted, I turned the SUV around and started back up the dirt road. The last view I had of Ward was him lit up by the red tail lights, watching us.