29. Gamma Tobias

twenty-nine

Gamma Tobias

*ELDEN*

M y heart is beating so fast, I am scared it might actually jump out of my chest. I thought I had my emotions under control. It’s something Dad beat into me early on, but I can’t help it this time. I feel my hands getting sweaty, and my anxiety rising through the roof. Flora and I are waiting in a small café that I didn’t even know exists. It’s tiny, and almost an hour away from town.

“He is going to come,” Flora says quietly.

“What if he doesn’t?” I say. “What if he didn’t see the signal?”

“He will come. You called the number too,” she says.

I followed everything Mom instructed me to do in her second letter – a detailed instruction about how to get into contact with Tobias. The way she used to do it, and the way he will always know it’s either her or me. Mom’s not with us anymore, so he must know it’s been me who contacted him. Maybe I am not worth it for him to seek me out. It’s true that he sent me a birthday present every year, he even did so this time; a beautiful, handcrafted journal with a leather cover, but it doesn’t mean he values me enough to show up.

“There are still so many things I don’t understand,” I admit. “If he doesn’t come today, I don’t know what else to do. He has to have answers or Mom wouldn’t have instructed me to contact him.”

“If he truly doesn’t come,” Flora says. “We will find a way. I am sure Oliver has an idea of where he is. We can start from there and then-”

“Hello, young prince, young luna,” I hear a voice I haven’t heard in many years. I raise my gaze, meeting Tobias’ eyes. He looks tired, and skinnier than I remember him.

“Gamma Tobias,” I say quietly. “You came.”

“I am not gamma anymore,” he says as he sits down.

“To me you still are,” I say.

“To me, too,” Flora agrees.

“You have both matured so much,” he mutters, gazing at us. “Look at you, you are almost adults. Goddess, the time did pass.” He rubs over his face. “Time passed without her.”

“I finally received all the things Mom left behind for me,” I admit quietly. “I am sorry for disturbing you now. I know you probably don’t want to see me or-”

“That’s wrong,” he interrupts me. “I will always come if you need me. You are Caro’s son, and she loved you dearly.”

I look at Tobias for a moment, trying to piece together what he is saying, and what he isn’t saying. I think about the day that Mom died, and for the first time I don’t focus on me or Mom in this memory but on him. Something broke in him that day. His luna died.

His luna…

“Who was Mom to you?” I ask quietly. “She was more than a luna.”

“She was my mate,” he answers honestly.

“What?” Flora gapes.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Tobias hurries to reassure us. “She was loyal to Caelum. She said she swore an oath and couldn’t break it. She never cheated on him. Not even once. And we all know that he didn’t deserve her loyalty.”

“Did no one know that you were mates?” I ask.

“Caelum knew. And her father knew, which is why he pressured her to marry Caelum,” he says bitterly. “I wasn’t good enough for him. Not a royal lycan.”

“But my cheating, abusive father was good enough, just because he had royal blood,” I say bitterly. Tobias clearly loved my mother, he was loyal to her and supported her although they couldn’t ever be together. That’s how deep his unconditional love for her was. Mom would have still been alive if she were mated to him. I just know it.

“There is more Elden,” Tobias says. “You were very young back then, so I am sure you didn’t notice, but your mother never marked Caelum. He wouldn’t let her. He did mark her, and made sure that she and I had no future, but she couldn’t mark him in return.”

“Wait… what…” Flora stares at him. “But they are chosen mates. For their bond to be complete, both of them have to mark each other!”

“She is right!” I exclaim. “For fated mates it’s enough if one of the mates does the marking, but for chosen ones… both of them need to break their bonds to their potential fated mates!”

“Exactly,” Tobias says. “That’s how it should be. But no one knew that the both of them weren’t fated mates, so no one questioned it.” He brushes through his hair. “That fucker. Carolina suffered whenever he cheated on her. He owned her. Yet he didn’t let her mark him.”

“But why?” Flora asks. “Was it just to control her and to insult her?”

“If only I know,” Tobias mutters.

“No,” I say. “No… Goddess… no way.”

Flora eyes me curiously. “What did you figure out?”

“He had his mate somewhere, his fated mate,” I say as realization settles in. “It can only be that!”

Both Tobias and Flora look at me in shock.

“Think of it,” I urge them. “Why would he want to remain free, if you want to call it that way? He didn’t let Mom mark him, so he could have both… her as his luna, and his mate somewhere hidden for him to visit whenever he wanted to.”

“It would make sense,” Tobias says.

Flora still seems shocked to the core. “Goddess,” she whispers.

“Dad never cared about anything but his own pleasure. We know that now. He was barely at home.”

“He was in Paris with his mistress,” Flora muses.

“At first, he was, but he soon grew tired of her. She definitely isn’t his mate. Calvin verified that he isn’t in contact with her anymore by tracing Dad’s steps.”

“Emilia?” Flora asks. “Could she be your father’s real mate?”

“It’s an option.”

“Emilia is his new wife, right?” Tobias asks.

“How do you know?”

“I have my contacts,” he admits. “I promised Caro to always keep an eye on you, so I did.”

“Yeah, Emilia is his new mate,” I say. “She never took the luna position though.”

“Is she trustworthy?” Tobias asks.

“Is anyone trustworthy who allies with my father?” I ask in return.

“Good point,” he mutters.

“But she is dignified and has pride,” Flora says. “Would she truly have accepted to be your dad’s side-piece for years?”

“It’s still weird that she agreed to marrying him,” I say. “Maybe there is more to her story.”

“We need to find out,” Flora says.

I nod. “I will ask her.”

“Just like that?” Flora asks.

“Yes, Dad’s gone on one of his business trips again… whatever that means. I think it would be a good moment to talk to Emilia.”

“What if she tells your father?” Tobias asks.

“Would it matter?” I shrug. “Seriously, I am done with him and his secrets. It’s not like he can do anything against me now.”

“That’s true. Silverlake is your birthright, and the elders have your back,” Tobias says.

“Time to finally face the truth,” I say. “If I take over the pack, I want to know exactly what went down there behind closed doors. I want to know who Emilia truly is to my father.”

“I fully support that,” Flora agrees. “And if it isn’t Emilia, we will find out who it is.”

“I have a very cunning beta now,” I muse. “This looks like it’s a perfect job for him.”

“You are right,” Flora tilts her head. “Calvin could find something.”

I raise my head to look at Tobias, realizing Flora and I have been making plans without him, but to my surprise, he looks content. “Gamma Tobias, are you somewhere safe? I always wondered if you are. Which is why I didn’t dig too deep to find you, and I didn’t ask Oliver. I didn’t want to endanger you.”

“Oliver doesn’t know where exactly I am. We said it would be safer that way, but he has a way to contact me,” he reassures me. “I am safe, young prince. Way before-” He swallows. “Way before Caro passed, she already made sure I had a place to retreat to, in case your father snapped and attacked me.”

“But he knew you were mates when he made you gamma.”

“He did, probably to mock and hurt me. But neither she nor I were sure he would truly not harm me. He is the alpha and could have easily killed me without any repercussions.” He pauses. “I will give you my contact information. I know you will be careful with them.”

“Gamma,” Flora says. “You know that when Elden and I take over the pack, you will always have a place there.”

“She is right, you can always return,” I agree.

“I don’t have a gamma, yet, so no one would take your rank either,” Flora says. “Elden has two betas, I don’t see a reason for me not to have more than one protector.”

Tobias smiles at her. “Thank you, young luna. But I doubt I can take that rank again. It’s a bond for life and had nothing to do with Caro also being my mate. It ripped me apart that I couldn’t protect my luna. But if you needed me, I would help to train whoever you choose.” He pauses. “To be very honest though, I am just not sure if I can find it in me to return.”

“You don’t need to make that decision so fast,” Flora tells him. “Just know, that there is always a place for you in Silverlake.”

The three of us have breakfast together, and Tobias tells me more about Mom. Little anecdotes I didn’t know, and a lot of stories about how she gave birth to me and how she was before she got ill. His stories purely tighten my resolve. Great-aunt Elspeth told me I need to find a way to get rid of the chains of my past.

This is how I am going to do it.

I will help Tobias, and I will make sure to find out the truth about my father’s fated mate. It’s the least Mom deserves. I owe it to her and myself, and then hopefully, she can rest in peace.

Dad left for his business trip, so when Flora and I return, it’s almost to a relaxed atmosphere. The pack is always seemingly relieved when he isn’t around, not that I can blame them.

Flora and I decide to split our strengths with her going to research the mysterious woman named Ersa, and me facing Emilia. Looking for her makes me realize that she doesn’t even have an office here. I never interacted much with her, so I didn’t notice before, but this is insane. She is a capable co-leader. In her old pack they basically kissed the floor she was walking on, and she successfully led the pack until someone else was able to take over.

There is a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me wonder if the pack here always treated her right. She is not at fault for Dad being an absolute failure as a mate, husband or alpha, or for Mom dying. She could have helped Dad with the pack, but he apparently didn’t want her to.

“Emilia?” I knock at the door to the Alpha Suite, where she is currently doing some paperwork in the living room. “I am sorry if I am interrupting something.”

“You aren’t,” she says with a smile before grabbing a stash of letters. “It’s good that you are coming. I wanted to look for you too. Here.”

She hands me the letters. Just one glance makes me realize it’s some of the ones Flora wrote to me.

“How come they are here?” I ask.

“I am not sure. They were on my desk today. Maybe the maid misplaced them.” She tilts her head. “I promise I didn’t read anything. I opened the first one and saw that it’s addressed to you.”

I can’t fucking believe it. I just can’t! Is Dad trying to frame her for going through my stuff!? I bet the warrior he sent to snoop around told him about the maid who’d asked him weird questions. The fucking coward is just blaming his wife!

“Thank you for handing them back to me,” I say, deciding to be honest. She deserves the truth. “It wasn’t a mistake, though. My father took them.”

Emilia looks at me for a while. “Do you want coffee?”

“Please.”

I watch her shuffling around. For a moment I contemplate offering my help, but I realize I have no longer have any idea about where to find anything in this suite. I have only ever been in my own room, which I moved to Mom’s old refugium a while ago. It’s a floor above this suite. Additional to it, she also had a small house right behind the pack house. From Tobias, I now know this was the place she liked to retreat to when she still could, to read or to paint.

But here, in this suite? I don’t even feel at home here anymore.

“I had a feeling,” she admits when she returns with the coffee.

“Emilia,” I mutter, stirring my coffee and unsure how to ask what I want to know so badly. “Are you my father’s true mate?”

“No,” she says promptly.

“Why are you not asking me why I want to know that?”

“Because I know that she exists,” she says quietly. “I realized he wasn’t faithful and wondered who he bedded. The mate-pull is strong.”

“What!?” I exclaim. “He is cheating on you too?”

“So, he was unfaithful to your mother?” she asks in return. “I had a feeling, and then when I felt the pain, I knew it.”

“Why did you marry my father? He is such an asshole.”

“He wasn’t like that when I met him,” she admits. “He even reminded me a bit of my late husband, and I… I fell in love with him. Part of me still loves him, but I can’t just look past his mistakes.”

I am stunned, to say the least. “Why are you still here then? If you know what kind of man he is, why didn’t you leave? Unlike my mother, you have friends in high places. I am sure they would help you get away and to get rid of his mark.”

“I made a commitment,” she mutters. “Not to Caelum, but to the pack and to you. It was my fault for not checking on his background properly. Now, I need to make sure to keep him in check.”

“You deserve better,” I exclaim. “Like Mom deserved better.”

“You are very kind,” Emilia says. “You deserved better too. You should hate me for the role I am playing in your father’s life. Yet you were always respectful to me. When your father brought me here and introduced me, that’s when I realized how off everything was.”

Goddess, that’s been a long time already. “Emilia, do you know where his mate lives?”

“I have a vague idea,” she says. “Your father can’t know that I know, though. I don’t know who this woman is, and what she truly is to him. I don’t want to endanger her.”

“I have no intention of telling him,” I assure her.

“It’s a pack in the south,” she tells me. “Five to seven hours from here. That’s all I know.”

“That’s more than enough,” I say.

That’s how I can find her. With that, Calvin should have no problem finding her.