28. Elspeth

twenty-eight

Elspeth

*ELDEN*

S he looks like Mom; she looks so much like her that it almost breaks my heart. This is how Mom would have looked if she had reached this age. It’s like a mirror being held up to show me a possibility that never happened, a path Mom and I didn’t manage to walk.

“You are a true Alcott,” Elspeth tells me. “Caro always took pride in her heritage, and so do I.” We sit down on the seating area on her porch. The others are still inside, allowing us some privacy. “Caelum Reynolds, however, was always a useless piece of trash.”

“How come he was allowed to marry my mother, then?” I ask.

“Oh, back then, unfortunately, I had only a little say. And your grandfather just wanted to make sure your mother got a mate with a strong reputation, skills and strength. None of these are bad things, but Caelum was just phony. He was able to sell himself well, but under the surface, there was so little it was almost insulting. I saw it, your mother saw it and your grandmother saw it.”

“You couldn’t stop my grandfather?” I ask sadly.

“It was impossible. The old man wasn’t even an Alcott either, your grandmother was, he was just someone who enjoyed the power. He has passed away though, so the power returned to me.”

“And Grandma?” I ask.

Elspeth sighs. “I am sorry.”

“I had a feeling,” I say quietly. “So, Mom and Dad were a political match?”

“Exactly. Your mother comes from a very old lineage of alphas and royal lycans. We are one of the five original lycan families to ever exist, that’s how much her name and heritage weigh. And Caelum, while not even close to being on par with her, comes from a royal lycan branch, too.”

So, it’s really Mom’s side that’s giving me my powers and position. She is the one with the important lineage.

“How come Dad has zero special gifts?” I ask. “I mean, he should have. With his rank and heritage, he should be stronger than he is.”

“Why do you think that is?” she asks me in return.

“Because he is no alpha,” I answer promptly, without thinking properly. It’s then that it sinks in. “He is no alpha!” I exclaim. “Wait, WHAT!?”

“Exactly. He comes from an alpha lineage, but only tested beta,” she laughs. “Hilarious, isn’t it? Caro was so much better than he ever was. Fortunately, you inherited your mother’s powers, not his.”

“But a beta should never have gotten the alpha title,” I say. “It’s completely against our rules, and against our nature!”

“You are right,” she says. “But your grandfather hid the truth. It helped that Caelum was an alpha’s son, and despite only ranking beta he was on the strong side. They were both able to hide it well. And your grandfather wanted your mother to wed and mate with Caelum. Caelum got the second branch of your grandfather’s pack – Silverlake – and the truth was sealed.”

“I can’t believe it,” I spat, not able to hide the bitterness from my voice. “Mom was the one with the money, the name, the reputation, and the rank. She was always nice to him, yet he treated her so badly.” I look at my great-aunt. “I am so sorry; I wasn’t able to prevent her death. I wasn’t enough.”

Elspeth takes my hand. “This is not your guilt to carry,” she says quietly. “I know you do, but you need to find a way to let go of it. She wouldn’t want that.”

I remember Mom’s letter and her wishes for me. Logically, I know it’s not my fault and I need to let go, but it’s easier said than done.

“Every adult around you has failed you,” she continues. “With the exception of Hazel. That’s my guilt. I should have been stronger and protected you and your mother. But I wasn’t.”

“You are here now,” I say quietly. “Mom mentioned you in her letter to me. She must have loved you a lot.”

“Oh, Caro,” Elspeth sighs sadly.

“It’s so difficult to understand how Dad never helped her,” I mutter. “And to know that had she had another husband, she might still be alive. I just… I can’t forgive him for it. I could look past the way he treats me, but I can’t forgive him for what he did to my mother.”

“You don’t need to forgive anything,” Elspeth says. “You don’t owe him forgiveness just because he is your father. Caelum could have had it all. A beautiful, kind luna, a strong and smart son, the prophecy, the standing and fame that came with it, and a thriving pack. But he tossed it all away for reasons I don’t understand.”

“He had a mistress in France,” I tell her. “I have a younger half-brother.”

Elspeth laughs bitterly. “Why am I not surprised? That pathetic fool.”

There is silence between us. “Do I have more family?” I ask.

“There is my brother,” she says. “Your great-uncle. He lives in Africa though, but he is a great man. I will make sure to help you get in contact with him. The rest of the family is basically sprinkled all over the land. There aren’t many of us. You know, the extensive breeding and marriage strategy your grandfather followed almost ruined us. Your mom is not the only one who faced a sad fate.”

“Another asshole,” I mutter.

“He truly was,” she says. “A bitter old man.”

“At least he isn’t a problem anymore,” I say.

“That is true, and I am quite glad about it.” Elspeth looks at me. “Would you mind?” she asks. “Tell me a bit about your mom. I was forbidden to have contact with her while she was still alive. I would like to know her from your eyes.”

“Of course,” I say eagerly. “Would you tell me more about her childhood and how she grew up?”

“I will,” she promises, and she indeed does. First, I tell her everything I remember about Mom, and then Elspeth takes over. She even shows me a photo album with old pictures of my mom and her side of the family. She looked so happy, with a genuine smile on her lips. How I wish she would have been that happy still.

“She really loved you,” Elspeth says all of a sudden. “I wasn’t allowed to meet her and support her after she left, but occasionally… secretly… we talked, and she always talked about you. You kept her going.”

“I wish she was still here,” I admit.

“Me too,” she says. Elspeth looks lost in her thoughts for a while. Despite her age there is something youthful about her, in her eyes. I know that if she had been around Mom, she might still be with us. That thought alone is so painful, it clenches my heart.

“Your mother would be proud of you,” she says all of a sudden. “You have become your own person. You are strong, smart and loyal. You obviously love your mate with all your heart, and you have friends who are loyal to you, and respect you.”

“Do you really think my mother would be content with who I have become?” I ask her. “The last thing I want for her, is to see me from wherever she is and be reminded of my father.”

“You are nothing like your father,” Elspeth says. “Or your grandfather.”

“But you don’t know me. I could be.”

“No, I am sure of it.” She places her hand on her heart, and smiles. With everyone else this gesture might have looked cheesy, but somehow she is so regal, it just looks genuine. “I can feel it here.”

“The Elders want me to become alpha the moment Flora turns eighteen and is old enough to be luna.” I pause. “It’s so soon. I am not sure if I will be a good leader.”

“It really is soon,” she admits. “But, I can see why the Elders are pushing for it to happen. Caelum is not a good leader, and a pack without a leader will only collapse. You and Flora will be fine. You don’t need to be amazing from the first day, no one expects you to. All they want for you is to give your best. The only thing you need to do is learn how to get rid of the chains of your past.” She smiles at me. “I see a bright future ahead of you. Don’t be afraid to claim it.”

Elspeth gives me all her contacts before my friends and I have to leave again. For the first time in a long while, I feel a familiar connection again, to someone I didn’t even know existed. I have a family. Maybe not a huge one, maybe it’s only Elspeth and an ominous great-uncle somewhere traveling through Africa, maybe not every member of my family is interested or supportive, but there are two people now who are.

Meanwhile, I have also opened the box with jewelry and Mom’s second letter. Amongst the jewelry, there is one particularly beautiful piece. It reminds me of the jewelry Tobias sent me right after he left. But this piece looks even more beautiful. Mom said to give it to my mate when I am ready to mark her.

I have left the front seat to Janice this time, while I sit next to Flora. She has her head leaned against my shoulder. I know she is tired; everyone is. “Thank you,” I say aloud to all of them.

“What for?” Jace blinks.

“This was the best birthday I’ve ever had,” I say. “And you all made it happen.”

“Don’t mention it,” Vincent mutters. “I swear, big feelings always make me anxious.”

“Aw,” Flora says. “Is the big, bad beta afraid of shedding a tiny tear?”

Vincent grunts in annoyance while we others laugh. “No, seriously,” I say. “Thank you. It was amazing. And I have an aunt, now!”

“I am so happy it worked out,” Jace says.

Janice casts me a smile. “Me too.”

“I hate to be annoying,” I say, while leaning forward toward Vincent. “But Vince, please make a short stop for me.”

“Sure, where?”

“The next gas station,” I say.

“Well, we need to refuel anyway.”

When Vincent halts the car at my desired destination, I make my way straight to the pay phone, dialing the number there. I let it ring three times, before hanging up and head into the gas station, to buy a signal firework. Then I return to my friends.

“What was that?” Flora asks curiously.

Instead of an answer I show her Mom’s second letter. This one is much less personal than the first, and instead carries a few instructions. The instructions lead us further to a small hill close to Silverlake, where I light the signal firework.

“Let’s hope it still works that way,” I say. “When Mom wrote the letter, it was years ago, and things were different back then. Very different.”

“I am sure it’ll still work,” Flora mutters. “He clearly was in on it. He must be expecting you to have received your mom’s belongings now that you are eighteen. I bet he is expecting it.”

Jace looks at us curiously. “Who is in on what? What are we even doing?”

“We are alerting someone,” I explain. “The way Mom instructed me to do it.”

“And who are we alerting?” Vincent asks.

I exchange a look with Flora. “Gamma Tobias.”