12. Ayden

Chapter twelve

Ayden

S taring at the hidden stones, I stood there, waiting and hoping.

I waited for Declan to break through the trees and throw himself into my arms, to declare his mind had changed and beg me to travel with him.

I waited for my heart to lift, for it to swell at the sight of him, for it to know peace again in his gaze.

I hoped his leaving was merely a dream.

It was all in vain.

Like some small boy lost on an afternoon adventure with friends, I kicked a small stone off the path and watched it fall beneath the foliage.

I was that stone now, lost and obscured.

That's how I felt.

I wasn't sure how long I waited there before finding myself waking from a fitful sleep.

When had I sat? When had my eyes closed ?

Still gripped by the fog of rest, I turned my head and reached out for Declan. The stone beside me was barren and cold. Of course, he wasn't there. Had I dreamed of him beside me? Had he ever lain there?

My mind drifted to our night in the cave, to his lips against mine, to our bodies meeting that first time. I felt his excitement growing against my own. His hunger was ravenous, his desire more need than want.

I could've lost myself in his eyes. I would not have been lost. I would've been home.

His strong arms bound me, pulled me close, yet never close enough.

I could still feel that embrace, its comfort, its heat, the promise it gave.

Never, in my wildest dreams, had I thought Declan Rea would want me. From the time I'd first seen him at the archery range, commanding his team and coddling his misfit, I'd wanted him. Yet he'd been so sullen and cold. I was used to being approached, to having men and women desire my attention. Mostly, they hoped for favor or rank, but some sought more. Regardless, to be held at a distance by anyone, especially one I desired, was at once confounding and exhilarating.

I tried to crack through his shell. I picked and prodded, seeking some crack. He'd rebuffed every effort with barely a glance my way. Although, there were a few times I thought I caught him peering in my direction. In the moment, I assumed his gaze to be born of contempt or revulsion. His words were certainly coated with each.

Only looking back, did I know better. I now knew his gaze and what lay beneath.

He wanted me. But not simply to have my body for his pleasure; Declan wanted my mind and heart and soul. I knew it in my bones. I saw it in his smile, his laughter, the way he cupped my cheek. I saw it in each simple touch, each gentle kiss.

Declan Rea wanted all of me, and I longed to give him everything his heart desired. He had just begun opening up, allowing me in to find what hid beneath, what so few would ever see. He'd shared parts of himself I was sure he treasured and guarded from all others. And in that, he revealed how much more there was to learn.

I knew that now, too.

And I knew how he felt and smelled and tasted.

Spirits, I wanted to taste him again.

But I would settle for seeing him again.

My core ached, as though some angry surgeon had stolen my heart from my chest.

I blinked away sleep and tried to clear my thoughts.

The bottom stair served as a vengeful pillow, spearing pain through my neck down my spine. I rubbed out the aches as best I could and tried to judge how much time had passed .

Stars twinkled above the leafless canopy, and a sliver of moon shone down, casting dancing shadows of slumbering limbs against the forest floor. Thick clouds threatened to steal the moon and stars from me, so I prayed at least they would not leave me as Declan had.

He didn't leave you , you self-absorbed prick. He had a task far more important than some silly infatuation.

The flame-haired child of my youth who roamed my head was forever nagging and bitter.

Stop whining and do your job. War is coming, and here you sit, pining over a man.

The boy was rarely wrong, though I was loath to admit it.

I scratched my scruffy chin, then dug fingernails into my scalp, wondering how long it had been since I bathed. My cloak smelled of pine and earth and smoke, though I only vaguely remembered when we last lit a fire.

I rose and dusted off my cloak and trousers, then shouldered my quiver and bow.

For the briefest moment, my eyes trailed up the path, and I wondered if I could follow it and find Declan. It was a foolish idea, and I knew it. His journey led to places unknown, and mine returned to my brother Rangers. War was coming, and Melucia's dim hope of survival rested on each of us doing our part. Even that was likely too little, but one fights with the weapon at hand.

I cast one last glance at where Declan had vanished, then stepped off the path.