7. Tovan

7

TOVAN

A whole sol passes, and then another. The rhythmic patter of the torrent has become my constant companion, a relentless melody that fills the air and drowns out the silence. I lie on the grass-feed, staring up at the beams crisscrossing the roof.

Back in the town, in my nestkan, I rarely listen to the showers like this.

It’s nice. I could live out in these plains if it’s peaceful like this all the time. But despite my appreciation of the peace, the sol has dragged on endlessly. I’ve dozed, woken up, sat here in the silence for many hors. When there’s a sound, I sit up straight, my focus on the large doors right before me. I lie watching them, each click that passes, hoping to see a certain soft female standing there. But the outbuilding remains empty, save for the occasional rustle of small creatures seeking shelter from the torrent.

I want to see her.

And she does come. The first time she visits, her presence surprises me. I did not expect her to seek my presence even though that was the only thing I’d been hoping for. But when I see what she carries in her arms, I understand. I understand, and a warmth spreads through me that’s never graced my lifeblood before. This female braves the downpour, arriving with trays of sustenance, her hair and clothes damp from the short journey between her lodge and the outbuilding. Each time, my heart leaps with hope, anticipating a chance to remain in her presence for even these brief moments.

But Donna’s visits are fleeting. She sets down the tray with a quick, “Here you go,” sometimes adding a perfunctory, “How’s the leg?” before retreating into the torrent. I barely have time to thank her, let alone engage in any meaningful conversation. And on her third visit, it becomes clear that it might be something I have done.

Was I too zealous? I’d cornered her in the back of the outbuilding without intending to. Drawn by the melody in her voice, drawn by her . Frakk. How did the Korruk brothers do it? How did they woo these females? All my instincts are telling me to do is smother her with my presence. I want to follow her around as she talks about nothing and everything. Want to hear her sing. I want to study her, know everything about her, and being in this outbuilding with my thoughts alone has only made that need grow deeper.

My gaze skips across the beams above me. Does this mean this female is—could be mine? I’ve never felt the urge to get to know another female as much as I want to get to know her. The thought of leaving this homestead in the next few hors is actually creating a tangible pain, and not in my foot—that part of me is healing nicely. The pain is deep within.

Again, I close my eyes, searching for about the tenth time this hor. Searching for a rhythm within me. There is none. But there must be some sign. With Kari females, the reaction is immediate. Once you are in your mate’s presence, your core-rhythm sings and you just know.

But Donna is not Kari.

I am flying in uncharted skies here. No amount of military training can help me now. But I know myself. This is unlike me and that can only mean this female is special.

I just need to know how special.

If she is mine, if the gods have blessed me so, I will not stop until she knows it, too.

As the torrent begins to fade, the urgency within me grows. The rhythmic patter that has been my constant companion for two sols is lessening, and with it, my time here draws to a close. I know I should be relieved, eager to return to my work and continue the surveys with Arnak. Work has always been a solace in this unending nothingness. But as I lie here on the grass-feed, listening to the diminishing drops on the outbuilding’s roof, I can’t leave without knowing.

I need to know if this female belongs to me.

I push myself up, brushing away lingering bits of the grass-feed before I make my way to the large doors, pushing them open. The world outside is drenched, glistening with the aftermath of the torrents.

My gaze drifts to Donna’s lodge immediately, and I feel a pull in that direction. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I’m about to do. I’ve rehearsed this speech countless times during the long, lonely hors of the past sol. Now, it’s time to deliver it.

As I make my way towards the lodge, I run through the words once more. “Donna,” I practice under my breath, “I wanted to thank you for your kindness. My presence has been unexpected and perhaps unwelcome, but I…” I trail off. This is no good. The words sound hollow, inadequate.

I reach the lodge and pause at the door, my hand raised to knock. My core-beat is a wild fluttering thing in my chest and I take another deep breath to steady it before lifting a claw to the door.

I knock.

All that greets me is silence.

I knock again, louder this time. “Donna?” Still no response.

A strange mix of disappointment and relief washes over me. I want to see her again, but perhaps this will give me more time to perfect my speech.

I’m about to turn back to the outbuilding when I hear a distant sound. It’s faint, barely audible over the drip of water from the lodge’s roof, but it catches my attention. It sounds like…Donna?

Curiosity piqued, I follow the sound. It leads me away from the lodge, past the outbuilding, and towards the field. As I draw closer, I can make out words amidst the grunts and exclamations.

“Come on girl, you have to help me here!”

My core-beat flutters. It’s Donna, her voice strained. I quicken my pace, my rehearsed speech forgotten as I head in her direction.

I reach the edge of the field and the sight before me stops me in my tracks. The field has turned into muddy slush and in the middle of it all is Donna. She’s knee-deep in the wet earth, her clothes splattered. And she’s not alone.

Next to her, equally mired in the mud, is an enormous creature. So caked with mud it’s almost unrecognizable is an ooga, one of the large, docile animals that grazes out in these plains. This one, however, is far from docile. It’s thrashing about, clearly panicked, its thick legs churning up even more mud.

It’s gotten itself stuck.

“Listen, Gertrude, you gotta listen to me, girl. I’m trying to help you.” Donna braces against the large animal, trying to help it out of the pit it’s put itself in. “Come on, now. You’ve got this! You’re a strong, powerful woman. You are fiercer than you feel. Now, come on, find that inner goddess and pull yourself out of this hole.” She grunts, still bracing against the large animal. “You’ve got this, girl. Come on.”

I stare at her for a few moments, her words making humor rumble in my gut. She’s frustrated, that is clear, and still her voice is so encouraging even to this stubborn beast.

“You really are a gem, aren’t you.”

Donna whirls around, eyes wide in her mud-streaked face, and I realize I spoke those words out loud. “Tovan? How long were you—I didn’t hear you come up.”

I grimace slightly. I wasn’t being quiet intentionally. Just a result of years fighting a war that’s still haunting me to this day. I’m beside her now, the mud sucking at my boots with each step. “You look like you need help.”

The resigned look she’s had on her face the past two sols is nowhere to be seen. Maybe because I appeared so suddenly. Those wide eyes are staring at me with a sort of awe that makes me want to stand taller. But she recovers quickly, blinking it away. Her gaze falls to my foot and I wonder if I should have pretended to hobble. I didn’t even bring the staff she’d so graciously given me.

But I shouldn’t.

I don’t want to deceive her anymore.

“You shouldn’t be out here,” she says. “Your foot’s in the mud. Remember, your boot’s got a hole in it. Wouldn’t want you getting an infection now.”

See. There’s something special about this female. Or maybe I’m just an old sap, easily attracted to simple generosity.

“I’ve healed quite well.” I give her the ghost of a grin. “I would show you, so you believe me, but it looks like you’ve got your claws full.”

Donna lets out a short, breathless laugh. “Back to the ‘capable’ act, I see.” She shakes her head, body jostling slightly as the ooga she’s bracing against bays. “This girl’s got herself stuck, and now she’s too scared to move. I’ve tried everything.”

And I can see she has. Because, unlike me, it’s clear Donna is capable. There are large thick branches near the hole, branches she’s no doubt carried here to give the beast some leverage. On one side, there’s some freshly cut grass-feed, probably to use as an incentive for these food-motivated creatures. Neither has worked.

The ooga bays again, not moving even as Donna gives it another push. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“I do.”

When she glances at me, turns those deep brown eyes my way, I see the hope in her eyes and suddenly I want her to look at me like that all the time. As if I can solve all her problems.

“Here, take my claw.” I reach toward her and I’m rewarded with her immediately reaching for me. Zero hesitation. I resist the urge to groan with unconcealed pleasure. Pulling her from the hole is easy, and now, by my side, I turn my gaze to the creature even though my complete attention is on the female standing next to me.

Her scent is even sweeter this sol. As if the torrents have washed away every interference. Standing by my side, her chest heaves, the dark tunic she’s wearing today doing nothing to conceal those large mounds on her chest. It takes everything in me not to look at them directly. I’m sure they are her teats…and now I’m wondering what they’d feel like against my tongue. Do humans even do such things with their mates?

Apparently, it doesn’t matter. My shaft hardens anyway. The thought alone is enough.

“We need to calm him down,” I say, the hoarseness in my voice borne from pure depravity. Thank the gods Donna cannot read minds.

“Her.”

I don’t know what she’s referring to. Those thoughts in my head have erased everything else.

Donna grins. “This is my big girl. Her name is Gertrude.”

“Ah.” My gaze slides to her lips and the grin still there. Her teeth may be blunt but they are perfectly aligned, only adding to her beauty. “Gertrude, then. A fine name.”

Donna grunts, placing both fists against her waist and having her elbows jut out in that way she seems to like to stand. “Of course, it is. I named her.”

Her grin widens, and I find myself mirroring it, a foolish, instinctive reaction to her infectious good humor. It’s all I can do as my mind buzzes with the fact that since the showers, this is the most we’ve spoken together these past two sols.

Moving around to the other side of the ooga, I grab a bundle of thick rope Donna dropped there. She really is capable. Thought of everything. “Here, take this rope.”

I hand her one end of the length of rope, trying to keep my gaze low. But I can see how her body moves in just the periphery of my gaze. How her hips sway with a natural grace that sends a jolt of something hot and primal through my veins.

Frakk. This human female…she is a walking distraction, like pure temptation playing out right in front of me. And my senses, honed for battle, for survival, are suddenly attuned to her every movement, her every breath.

This is not a good idea . If she’s not mine, I will truly lose all hope in the fates. But even as the thought forms, I find myself leaning closer, drawn to her warmth like a tilgran to a zimi bush.

She holds on tight to the length of rope, following my lead as I move slowly around to the ooga’s head.

“Easy now, Gertrude, this big strong Kari is here to help. That’s it, nice and calm…” She’s soothing the creature, but does she know she’s soothing me too? Big strong Kari? Pride makes my scales brighten. So she likes my strength? I can show her more of that. I could put on a show by lifting the bales of grass-feed and helping her tidy up that outbuilding. Would that attract her? And my size… No female has ever outwardly praised my size before. Does she truly like it? Or is she simply saying that for the creature before us?

My gaze shifts to the ooga, meeting its eyes as if it can help me unravel the secrets surrounding this female. If it could talk, it could tell me if Donna often uses such words or if she truly finds me…desirable. If she sees me as a potential mate, or just a helpful stranger.

A low growl rumbles in my chest. I want to know.

Amazingly, the ooga seems to respond to her words. Its thrashing lessens, and its breathing begins to even out. I find myself captivated by the human even more.

“Okay,” her brown eyes dance to me. “What now?”

“We’ll guide her out. Ready?”

She nods, those delicate digits gripping the rope tightly. We begin to move, urging the ooga forward with gentle tugs and encouraging words. For a moment, it seems to be working. The creature makes an effort to heave itself from the mud, and my gaze shifts to the female still urging it with gentle words.

“You are good with this.” I praise. “Younglings must adore you. You speak with such care, such…” I search for the right word. “Such… tenderness.” I mean it, too. From the first moment she pushed through that zimi bush to assist me, she’s been nothing but gentle. Firm, but gentle still. Her presence, it’s soothing, has a calmness about it, a steadiness that I find strangely comforting. It’s like… like the feeling of returning to the den after a long, arduous flight. A sense of safety and belonging that I haven’t experienced in…well, maybe ever. It’s not just the way she cleaned my wound, bandaged my foot. It’s the way she speaks, the way she moves, the way her very presence seems to soothe the raw edges of my soul. Like a balm.

I know now why it’s been so hard to leave these plains. I met her. I met Donna and suddenly there’s a peace I haven’t known in orbits. The loneliness that every displaced Kari lives with, the one I thought nothing about because it’s simply a fact of life, is suddenly a burden. One I’m very aware of.

I want to say more. I open my mouth to, but then, I see it. The light in her eyes, that spark of warmth and laughter, it flickers, dims, as if a shadow has passed over her soul. Her smile falters, and for a fleeting moment, a look of such profound sadness crosses her face that it steals away my breath.

I have made a grave error.

“Donna—” I move toward her but the fates are playing a game with me. Disaster strikes.

The ooga’s foot slips in the mud, and it lets out a bellow of fear. In its panic, it lurches to the side—right towards me. I try to dodge, but it happens too fast and the mud is too thick. The ooga’s massive body slams into me and my world tilts on its axis. Time slows down as my core-beat stutters. I go down like a rock, hard and heavy.

For a terrifying moment, I’m completely submerged, my brain taking some time to catch up to what just happened. But then soft claws grab my arms, tugging, urging me up. I break the surface, mud streaming from my face and filling my mouth.

“Tovan! Are you okay?” Donna’s voice is filled with concern, but there’s an undercurrent of something else. Is she…laughing?

I wipe the mud from my eyes to see her face, streaked with mud and creased with worry, but her lips are twitching as if she’s fighting back a smile. The absurdity of the situation hits me all at once, and before I know it, a chuckle rumbles in my chest.

Donna snorts, and that does it. I’m laughing. Great, gulping laughs that shake my whole body.

Her resolve crumbles, too, and she joins in, her laughter ringing out across the muddy field. We’re both covered head to toe in mud, standing next to a bewildered ooga, and laughing like we’ve lost our senses.

The last time I laughed like this was…I…I don’t remember.

That makes me aware of everything as I watch Donna’s whole body move with the strength of her mirth. So warm. So pure. This stranger…she is…she’s perfect.

I don’t know why I do it. Why I suddenly tug when her arms are still grasping mine. Perhaps it’s the infectious laughter, the joy of the moment, or simply a desire to share this ridiculous situation more fully with her. Whatever the reason, I tug her towards me, into the mud.

It takes only a moment for her to realize what’s happening and her eyes widen in surprise. “Tovan, what are you—No!” Her words cut off as she loses her balance, tumbling down into the mud beside me. “Oh, no you didn’t!”

I grin at her, feeling sudden mischief. “I believe I did.” I chuckle as she tries to sit up, only to slip back down into the muck.

“Let me go, you big oaf!” She laughs, attempting to free her wrist from my grasp. But I hold on, enjoying this playful moment too much to let it end.

Because I will have to go soon. Have to leave her presence after tarrying far longer than I should. And I want these memories. Like a male starved of affection, if this is all I’ll take away after these few sols, I want to solidify it all to memory.

“And let you miss out on all the fun?” I tease, using my free claw to scoop up a glob of mud. “I think not.”

As if sensing the danger, Donna turns, those wide eyes getting even wider in her head. “Don’t you dare—”

But it isn’t like when she’s warned me those other times. When she made it clear she wasn’t to be toyed with. There is laughter underneath her words, a gentle dare that makes me realize that she’s enjoying this, too.

With a squeal, she attempts to spin away from me, but it’s too late. I’ve already smeared fresh mud across her jaw, leaving a comical streak across her brown skin. She gasps, mouth opening into a wide circle before I see something glint in her eyes. Before I can dodge it, a clawful of mud comes right at me. It splatters across my chest, and I stare down at it, surprised.

“What? Can’t take the heat? Get out of the kitchen.”

We’re not preparing a meal, but I would very much like to prepare one with her .

My gaze lifts, locking on hers, and that confident smile on her face freezes. The air crackles as I stare at this female, knowing I should look away but can’t. And I can tell she feels it too, whatever this is. Something in her feels it too because her gaze falls down my face, landing on my lips before going to my throat.

When I suddenly move she squeals again. No longer in my grasp, she tries to right herself, even hanging on to the distressed ooga to pull herself up so she can run away from me. Perhaps I need to leave the town more often. Go into the wilds to run. To hunt. Because right now, I see something I want and the fact she’s trying to run away from me is only making the lifeblood in my veins heat so much my skin itches underneath my scales.

I hit her with a small glob of mud and she turns those fiery eyes on me. Maybe I should stop now. I’ve soiled her quite badly and—

Mud sails through the air, splattering my face. I spit it out just as Donna throws back her head and releases laughter straight from the bottom of her gut. I forget about my doubts. Another glob of mud in my claw and it becomes a full-on mud fight as we try to outdo each other.

In the midst of our playful battle, I lose my balance again, toppling over. On instinct, I reach out to steady myself, my claws finding something warm and soft. I know what it is, should have stopped myself from hanging on. Instinct takes over instead. My arms circle the female’s waist as I pull her down with me, and suddenly, I find myself on my back in the mud, with Donna sprawled on top of me.

She shrieks, rich potent laughter making her entire body react as she grabs more mud and plasters me with it. I growl, the sound rumbling through me as I reach for her arms to stop her attack. When I finally have them pinned, I’m three times as covered in mud as she is and she grins down at me, laughing in my face, obvious pleasure in her victory making her unaware of something critical.

The fact that she’s pressed up against me.

But I…I’m very aware. Too aware. Despite myself, despite my desperate grasp for control, my shaft hardens in my trouse, the soft weight of her against me conjuring images in my mind that have no place here right now.

I look up into her beautiful face, and I’m struck breathless. Her laughter, so rich and uninhibited, fills the air around us, wrapping me in a cocoon of pure joy. Never have I felt such peace at seeing another being’s happiness. It’s a strange sensation. Enough, thank the gods, to distract from my quickly hardening shaft.

I look up into Donna’s eyes, those mesmerizing brown orbs sparkling with happiness, and I know I would give anything to witness her laugh like this each sol.

A strange thought to have for a stranger. A female I didn’t know existed till a few sols ago. But the feeling is there anyway. Solid. Sure. As if it had always been there and was only waiting for me to become aware of it.

Despite the mud streaking her skin, or perhaps because of it, Donna looks utterly radiant. Even her hair, uninhibited by any head covering, is loose and wild, mud-streaked coils framing her face like a halo.

As her laughter subsides, her smile remains, wide and genuine. It’s a smile that could outshine Hudo’s star. Even thinking that is absurd. But it is true.

I’ve never been this close to her. She’s pressed against me, her entire body settled on my frame, and I can see all of her. Every bit.

In this moment, covered in mud and pressed against me, she is the most perfect being I have ever laid eyes on. And as I gaze up at her, drinking in every detail of her mud-splattered perfection, I feel something shift inside me. A realization, as inevitable as the rising of the star: I am falling for this human. Hard and fast and with no hope of stopping.

She’s mine. This is my kahl .

My kahl, my true mate, the female who my soul has yearned for over eons, she is here. My core-rhythm is silent but I know. Donna is my kahl. The thought should ground me. Anchor me to this point in time.

Instead, as I continue to gaze up at this treasure, all I feel is terror.

Donna’s laughter slowly fades, her entire body stiffening on me as she becomes aware of our position. Probably because I’ve gone so still, like a cold slab, not even breathing.

She makes a sound in her throat as she eases off me and I have no choice but to release my hold on her arms, despite that I don’t want to. Rolling onto her knees, she diverts her gaze as she wipes some mud from her arms.

“That was…” She releases a breath from her nose. “Not something I usually do, to be honest.” She wipes more mud away but she won’t look at me, almost as if she’s too ashamed to. Or perhaps she feels what I do and doesn’t know how to say it out loud.

My silence is what makes her glance my way once more. “Is everything alright?” Then she freezes. “Oh God, your leg. That was really stupid of us. Not only have I gotten mud into my hair, but we’ve probably definitely made your foot worse.” She grunts, rising from her knees. “I’m not sure what came over me. I…” She trails off, blinking as she stares into the…

Still on my back in the mud, I open my mouth to respond, but no words come out. How can I explain this to her? How can I tell her that in the span of a few core-beats, with everything in me, that I’m sure she’s mine. It’s ludicrous.

“Well, I should get Gertrude out and go clean up.” She still doesn’t face me. That resigned look she’d had after she’d left me in that outbuilding is returning. She’s locking me out again. I can’t have that. I—

“You’re my kahl .”

The moment the words leave my mouth, I want to snatch them back. Donna goes utterly still. Her back is turned to me, but I can see that she’s suddenly frozen.

“Your…what?” Her voice, usually so rich and warm, is now barely above a whisper.

I close my eyes, cursing myself for my lack of control. When I open them again, Donna is staring at me now, a look in her eyes I can’t quite determine.

“My kahl .” My courage returns. I’ve already crossed a line. I can’t stop now. “My true mate. The one I’m destined for.”

She says nothing, and that feels like a judgment in itself.

I sit up slowly, mud squelching beneath me. Donna steps back, putting distance between us, and each inch feels like a physical blow.

“I apologize,” I continue. Words right now are all I have. “I shouldn’t have said anything. But…for my kind, there’s someone out there who’s perfect for us. Our other half. We call them our kahls . And when we meet them, the paths of our existence shift .”

She’s still silent. Still unmoving. I’m not even sure if she’s breathing.

When I rise to my feet, we stand there together in the mud, my chest heaving slightly with the gravity of all this as we face each other. Behind Donna, the troublesome ooga bays, somehow freeing itself from the mud-hole and ambling away to go find the rest of its herd. Not even that draws Donna’s attention. She’s wholly focused on me, that once expressive face hiding everything from me now.

“It’s a feeling. An instinct.” I run a muddy claw through my hair, at once frustrated and fearful at the same time. This isn’t how I expected it to happen. When I saw the Korruk brothers with their mates, they were aligned. Right now, with that unreadable look on Donna’s face, it feels like a chasm has opened between us.

But then she makes a sound in her throat. A laugh—or at least, I think it’s supposed to be laughter, except there’s no mirth. It’s harsh. Dry. More like a mockery of laughter than anything else. “You must be kidding me.”

I shake my head. Either my translator is acting up, or she thinks I just made a jest. “I am not. I cannot explain it, but you are my kahl . I am sure of it. You are my true mate.”

“Stop.” Her lips pull back in a curl filled with derision. A snarl. Far displaced from the comforting generosity, the kindness that had shone in her eyes before. She huffs a laugh through her nose, another mirthless mockery, before she shakes her head. A look crosses over her features, so similar to that moment when I’d complimented her about being so gentle with the ooga and younglings, that I stand frozen again.

Donna takes a deep breath. When she speaks again, her eyes are hard and there’s a new distance in them that makes my core-beat halt in my chest. “Tovan Kamesh.” Gods, the sound of my own name has never made me shiver before. “I think it is time for you to go.”

She wants me to leave. Of course, she wants me to leave. I’ve ruined everything with my impulsiveness. The laughter we just shared, the moments of camaraderie over the past few sols, all ruined. Wasted.

She wants me to leave, so why’s there a tightness in my throat? Why have the muscles in my legs locked up? Because I can’t move. I can’t leave here. Not like this.

“Donna, I…”

She takes a stop forward and it’s hard to stand my ground—because I want to fall to my knees before her. Beg her to understand something I can’t even understand myself. All I have is a feeling . A feeling is not enough to go on. I need confirmation from my core-rhythm. Need it to sing. And not for the first time in the past few sols, I beg it to.

It remains silent, and yet, I know this with a surety. I tell no lies. Donna of the line Johnson, this human female filled with color and life and vitality, she is mine.

“What do you think this is?” Her voice is a dangerous whisper. Half my size, she glares up at me. “You think you can just appear out here, get in my good graces, then claim me like I’m some prize to be won?”

I get it now. That unreadable look on her face, that complete shutdown of emotion, it isn’t a shutdown at all. It’s anger. Raw, pure, hot anger. Her dark eyes flash with indignation, and I can’t help but be struck by her fierce beauty even as her words cut deep.

I swallow hard. I’ve made a mess of this “No, that’s not what I—”

“Oh, I know exactly what you thought,” she interrupts. “You saw a lonely woman out here on her own and figured you’d swoop in, playing hero. Well, let me tell you something, mister. I’ve been taking care of myself long before you showed up, and I’ll be doing just fine long after you’re gone.”

Her words hit hard. I flinch. Hers is a rejection that stings more than any others before. But she’s right. We are strangers. How can I explain that it doesn’t matter? That in realizing she is my kahl , she’s become the most important being in my universe?

I want to reach out to her, to comfort her, but I know that would only make things worse. Instead, I stay where I am, mud seeping into my garments, feeling more lost than I ever have in my entire existence. Not even when the Tasqals used their power to claim my world did I feel this utter emptiness.

“Upsetting you is the last thing I wanted. If I could explain—”

“Explain what?” she snaps, crossing her arms. “How you think you could fake some injury just so you could waltz into my life and lay claim to me like I’m some damsel in distress?” Fake an injury? Her gaze darts to my boots and she points at my foot. “I’m not an idiot. You sure as hell fooled me, though. I don’t know what sort of swamp magic you’re using to pull this off, but I’ve seen enough tricksters in my life to know better.”

My core-beat. Everything within me. Is dead. “I—” But whatever words I could say dry up.

“I’m fifty-one years old, born and raised in Tennessee. I’ve weathered more storms than you can imagine, big boy. I’m not some character in your fantasy. I’m a real person with a real life, and I don’t need your fairy tale promises. I sure as hell don’t need or want your so-called protection.”

I can barely speak. Everything she’s saying, everything she’s said, is fracturing into a thousand shards of thought, each one sharper, more chaotic, than the last. “It’s not about protection. From the moment I saw you—” I stop, because these are just more stupid inadequate words. If she had a core-rhythm, it would sing with mine. Then she would understand. Without that, I have no proof.

“Oh, spare me the romantic nonsense,” Donna scoffs. “I’ve heard it all before, sugar. “

She takes another step forward, and despite her smaller stature, I find myself taking a step back. Her vitriol, I deserve every ounce of it.

“Now, I want you to listen real close.” Her voice is a low, dangerous thing. “You’re going to turn around and walk right off my property. And if I ever see you skulking around here again, I won’t hesitate to call the authorities. You got that?”

I open my mouth to protest, to try one last time to make her understand, but she cuts me off with a sharp gesture, flashing her claw in dismissal.

“I don’t want to hear it. Just go. Now.”

With that, she turns on her heel and storms away, leaving me standing there. I watch her retreating form, the distance between us growing with each step she takes. The connection I felt, the certainty that she is mine, clashes with the reality that she…doesn’t want me.

Within me, a chasm is ripped open, threatening to split me in two. And as she disappears from view, I’m left alone with the crushing weight of one thing.

My failure.