Chapter Sixteen What Happens in Vegas

Chapter sixteen

What Happens in Vegas

"You better tell me."

Lee had no intention of telling Eddie about the one experience he'd kept completely to himself. But Eddie hadn't shut up the entire car ride back to the apartment. He remained mute, though. A million and one things occupied his mind enough to block out Eddie's incessant chatter and demand for Lee to divulge the who, what, where and when of his last male on male encounter. It fixated him. As though he couldn't quite believe it. To be honest, neither could Lee. He'd often wondered if what had happened twelve years ago had been a dream. A fantasy. A memory floating out of reach that had made him question himself.

But Lee had other things to be concerned with right then. Like how he'd overstepped a mark. Doing things with another man was one thing. Doing things with a man thirty years his junior was another entirely. But doing things with his best mate's son overspilled into territories best left unexplored.

Yet he had.

And he'd enjoyed it.

His body still tingled with the aftereffects of one seriously hot blowjob.

"Inside," he said as he parked up on the drive, yanked the keys out of the Jeep's ignition, and shouldered open the door.

He was also angry. Pissed off. Annoyed . Eddie still needed to understand the severity of what he'd done. Leaving without him to go get laid because he was horny was bad enough. Without telling him was worse. And doing it because of him had Lee suffocating in the what ifs.

And what had they done.

He let them into the apartment, scrubbing a hand over his scalp, and threw the keys on the coffee table. Eddie hovered in behind him, closing the door.

"If you say it was my dad…"

Lee twisted to face him. "It wasn't your dad."

"Thank fuck for that."

Lee heaved a breath as they stood there, staring at each other, Lee unsure what the right thing to do was. He knew what he wanted to do. But that and the right thing were very different. He was at a crossroads. A fork. Standing in front of the two doors where one led to freedom and the other to certain death. How had he ended up here? Two years ago, he'd been on a trajectory to a life in slippers, curled up on the credit bought corner sofa with his wife, cockapoo between them, bingeing series after series on Netflix . He'd been bulk buying dishwasher tablets and had a favourite fabric conditioner. Even a subscription to Laithwaite's wines along with his BrewDog crates. He was part of the street's WhatsApp group arguing over when the bins were due to be collected, for God's sake!

Now he was here. In America. Divorced. Without custody of Coco, staring at a man who'd wormed his way so deep under his skin, he couldn't wash him off as easily as the last one. Not even with a bar of his best soap. He wouldn't even be able to mask the scent ingrained on him with Tom Ford fucking gold standard perfumery. Eddie was going to fester. Linger. Hold on so tightly, Lee wouldn't be able to buck him off.

And it would kill him in the end.

"You sleep on that couch," Eddie pointed to the horrendous leather fold out that was as comfy as a block of concrete, "and don't come crying to me for a massage in the morning."

Lee cocked his head.

Narrowed his eyes.

Counted all the reasons this was a bad idea.

His back really did hurt, though.

So he lurched forward, gripping Eddie behind the neck, and hauled him forward for a kiss that had gnawed at him for far too long. A kiss that Eddie returned with gusto. Diving in unrestrained, now untied, both physically and mentally, Eddie deepened the kiss, raking his fingers through Lee's hair, fisting the cotton of his T-shirt as if he couldn't quite believe it was happening. Lee hadn't experienced passion like it. Desperation like it. It was intoxicating. Exhilarating. All kinds of wrong that felt strangely right . And he'd been with the wrong women. Had a history of fucking the wrong women. Of having a deep-rooted attraction to those he knew wouldn't last, and their tumultuous affairs fizzled and faded, hurling him further into the abyss of loneliness .

Yet this was different. So damn different , and Lee clung on with a need to find out why .

Heart pounding, he staggered Eddie back with the force of his mouth alone. Eddie bumped into the shitty leather couch, toppling over the armrest, but before he could fall with a thud to the unpadded seat, Lee snaked an arm around his waist.

"Oh, no you don't." He slammed him against his chest. "Not on here." His back wouldn't take it. But to test how much it would take, he lifted Eddie up and Eddie clamped his legs around him, kissing him as Lee carried him along the corridor to the bedroom. At least he could demand the restorative massage in the morning after this. He then shouldered open the bedroom door and Eddie fell from his grip as he took in the sight of clothes and shoes strewn across the floor, the bed unmade. "Jesus, you're a messy sod."

"Are you in here to tell me off, or to get me off?"

There was only one response to that, and Lee ripped off his top, shucking down his trousers while Eddie scrambled out of his clothes. Once naked, Lee delved into that place in his mind where he lost himself and closed the lid. Keeping himself, and Eddie, inside. He stopped thinking about anyone or anything. Nothing mattered. Only this moment, right then. And he tackled Eddie to the bed, kissing him, rolling around as his naked body meshed with Eddie's naked body, and limbs entangled limbs as desperate souls found each other.

And for what might have been the first time, Lee let himself feel .

It took his breath away.

Had it ever felt this good? This freeing? This all-consuming? And if not, why not? Why hadn't he allowed himself to be like this before ?

Was it Eddie? Was it knowing how much he wanted him? Being lusted after was a big ego stroke. But every whimper, every groan, every soft moan Eddie emitted as Lee kissed him, touched him, nibbled him, had Lee frantic to hear more. Taste more. This wasn't about him making Lee feel good. This was about what Eddie wanted. Giving in to Eddie's needs. Not that he'd been a selfish lover before, but this was another level. A sheer desire to see Eddie fall apart. Because of him.

But he didn't have the experience here. The know-how. And he was stuck with guessing. With instinct. But it didn't seem to be an issue as Eddie responded to anything he did with loud, groaning gratification, especially when Lee clamped his leg on top of Eddie's, grabbed his throbbing cock and stroked him. He sped up as and when he thought Eddie could take it and Eddie thrust his hips, nails digging into Lee's back, other hand fisting the bed sheet and it took no time at all for him to come in an explosive fit of unhinged trembles.

Second time.

That was an ego boost.

Lee eased off his strokes, softening his kisses, all the ways he would if this had been a woman, and allowed Eddie to revel in the tingles rushing around his body right then. And when Eddie tried to grapple for him, Lee pinned him back to the bed, lips to his ear. "Enjoy it. I'm good watching you."

And he was.

But Eddie gave him an unconvinced look, peered down and sure enough, little Lee wasn't quite that little anymore. He was back in the game. As if benched long enough and raring to play both halves. An entire game.

That hadn't happened in years .

Eddie rolled him over, Lee's instincts resisting at first but Eddie's soft, "Let me," had him obliging and Eddie slithered down between his legs, hot breath trickling on the sensitive skin of his shaft as Eddie took his cock deep into his throat.

Lee settled back for another shift in his existence.

Desperation laced every stroke of Eddie's tongue, every bob of his head. His grip around Lee's hips tightened, pulling him closer to where he could feel Eddie's tonsils brushing the sensitive ridge underneath. And he sucked. Sucked with confidence. With vehemence. Unfettered lust. As if Lee's cock gave him life. Fuck, he knew how to get a man to the edge. And Lee had to switch everything off. Every. Single. Thing. To not think who was giving him head as if his life depended on it, but why they were.

Because he enjoyed it.

Fucking loved it.

Lee dropped his legs wide, allowing Eddie to work his goddamn magic on him. Head bobbing up and down. Up. Down. Sucking. Slurping. Licking. Gorging . Eddie was getting Lee so fucking hard, he doubted he'd last long. The sounds of Eddie's slurping and gagging had Lee tipping to the edge of restraint. Then when Eddie's fingers lazily moved up and down his thighs, teasing him with featherlight touches, Lee opened one eye to watch him in action. The way the lights from outside drifted through the window and lit up his hair, the sway of his head as he took Lee deeper and deeper, the sight of his mouth stretched wide around Lee's girth and the blissful expression he gave as he lifted off him momentarily to inhale a breath, before slamming back down once more as if starved .

Lee grasped the bedsheets, biting back a groan as he neared his peak. "Fuck, Eddie, I'm close." He gave warning as he would to anyone, but Eddie hadn't needed it and he guzzled faster, saliva escaping his lips to dribble down his chin and when he massaged his balls, giving them a gentle squeeze followed by a firm tug, Lee cried out, "Fuck, Eddie. " ‘Cause he knew exactly who it was getting him to this glorious end.

Lee gripped Eddie's hair, hissing through the release, and Eddie swallowed it with ease. Once drained, Eddie slurped off him, wiped his mouth with a filthy grin, then crawled over to kiss him. Lee splayed his hands on Eddie's arse, clutching him to his chest as he grappled to taste himself on Eddie's tongue.

Eddie then rolled off, flicking back his hair, and with Lee's arm around him, they both stared up at the ceiling in a state of shock.

" Fuck ," Eddie ground out.

"Yeah," Lee panted. "You're good at that."

"Thanks for your feedback and you have got to tell me now."

"Not a fucking chance."

Eddie twisted to face him, sidling up to him. And it was…nice. "Why? Was it that bad?"

Lee shifted, clamping one arm behind his head, the other clutching Eddie to him and tickling his fingers up and down his spine. "No."

"Then tell me." Eddie wasn't going to stop. He was like a dog with a bone. Coco with her ball. He'd keep asking and asking until Lee threw the damn thing at him.

"Kilimanjaro."

Eddie propped up onto his chin, resting on Lee's chest. " Two blowjobs, which you have complimented me on, and all I get is the name of a fucking mountain? "

"When I climbed Kilimanjaro, I had an…encounter."

"You are totally shit at storytelling."

"It's a tagline."

" Mounted up a Mountain as a title, perhaps?"

Lee chuckled. "There wasn't any mounting."

"So what was there?"

Lee took his time to get it all out. He'd not told anyone about that night before. It had been something that had happened unexpectedly, and he'd left it at the summit, chalking it up to an experience. Like the climb itself, it was a onetime only deal.

Yet here he was.

"There was another group of climbers at camp. One night, I couldn't sleep because…I never can. Left Ru in the tent to look at the stars. Bloke from the other group joined me. We talked. Well into the morning. Next day, we set off for the summit. Maybe it was the altitude, but the next night we did the same and did more than talk."

Eddie gazed up at Lee with wide eyes. "In the biz, we call that a cliffhanger." He nudged him. "Keep going."

"He blew me."

"Just like that."

"Yeah."

"No sweet talk? No kiss? Drop your pants, officer?"

"We kissed. Somehow he got into my hiking trousers and was on his knees before I could protest."

"Would you have?"

"What?"

"Protested?"

Lee shifted uncomfortably. "No. He'd have been easy enough to throw off."

"So you liked it?"

Lee said nothing .

"It's okay, Lee. I'm partial to cock myself, you being uncomfortable about that makes all this a tad uneasy for me."

"Yes, I liked it."

"Did you do anything to him?"

"I tossed him off for a bit, then went down on him, but a lad from his group came out for a piss and I didn't…complete the mission. Next day, we went our separate ways. That was it."

Eddie rolled onto his back, dragging Lee's hand from around his shoulder closer and entwined their fingers. It should be strange. This whole thing should be uncomfortable. Wrong. This was usually the part where Lee would make excuses to leave. Or the other person would. But he wasn't. Neither was Eddie. And Lee held Eddie's hand as he stroked up his arm, tracing the outline of his tattoos with his blunt nails.

"Did my dad know?"

"Did he know some bloke blew me when we were up Kilimanjaro? No."

"That you're bi?"

Lee must have clenched his hand around Eddie's fingers because Eddie peered up at him, eyebrows raised.

"I wouldn't label it like that."

"Lee, you like men and you like women. That's bisexual."

"One encounter does not make me bi."

Eddie let go of his hand, then rolled on his side and slithered on top of him. Mmm , that was nice. Eddie's naked body on top of his own. Flaccid cock curling around flaccid cock. And when Eddie kissed his neck, along his jaw and found his lips, Lee squeezed him closer and hummed with sheer delight.

"Not just one encounter," Eddie said between kisses .

"Still don't need to stick a label on me."

Eddie slithered off again, onto his back, taking Lee's hand again. "Why wouldn't you tell him?"

"Why would I?"

"He's your best friend, right? Blood brothers. Tell each other everything?"

"We're not eight anymore."

"Were you worried he'd think you were gay?"

"No. I'm not gay."

Eddie tutted. "Bi."

"I'm not…" Lee didn't finish the lie. He'd never put that word to himself. Never thought about it. Declaring such a thing was a big step. People would look at him differently. Like he was going through a midlife crisis. That he was a ‘ dirty old man'.

Jesus . Was he?

His dad would be disappointed…which, in hindsight, could be the major issue.

"Then why didn't you tell him?" Eddie peered up, wide eyed. "Were you with Cora when it happened?"

"Not officially."

"What makes it official?"

"We'd been dating. But not exclusive. Not until I came back from the climb."

" Oh ." Eddie pursed his lips.

"What?"

"You buried it."

"Buried what?"

"Your feelings."

"No. Cora was a colleague of Ru's back then. I didn't want to ruin their relationship, nor a potential one of mine over something…insignificant. So I kept it to myself. "

"I meant you buried how you felt about it with Cora." Eddie yawned and dragged Lee's arm around him, facing away.

"I didn't bury anything." Lee swallowed the tightness creeping into his throat. Had he? Possibly. But it was one encounter. Nothing else. One night. One stupid blowjob. From a stranger. "I was in love with Cora. What happened up a mountain was easy enough to put aside for her."

And what was this?

Lee couldn't answer that.

Which was lucky because Eddie didn't press for anything more and within minutes, he fell asleep. Luky bastard.

But, even stranger, so did Lee.

* * * *

He woke in much the same position when vibrations rattled the floorboards.

Naked, with Eddie's leg entwined with his own, one arm flung over his chest, he squinted through the morning light filtering in through the blinds. Eddie was out cold. So Lee had to squirm from underneath him, gently placing Eddie's arms and legs back onto the bed to search for his clothes. He pulled on a pair of boxers and found the vibrating culprit of his mobile phone tucked in his trouser pocket.

Rupert.

Shit .

He tiptoed out of the room and hit answer, tapping his way to the kitchenette. "Hey." His voice came out hoarse and his heart jolted, waiting for his best friend to scream at him for sticking his dick in his son's mouth .

For enjoying it.

Guilt swallowed him whole.

"Sorry, mate, totally forgot about the time difference."

"No worries."

"What is it there?"

Lee pulled his phone away from his ear to check the display. "Seven."

"Would say sorry for waking you, but I know you. How long were you not asleep for this time?"

"Ha. Yeah. The couch keeps me up."

"As long as it's not my son."

Lee's face drained cold. "What?"

"Eddie? Keeping you up with late night Hollywood parties?"

"Uh, no. No." He scratched fingers through his hair. "No parties."

"Is he behaving for you?"

Jesus Christ. "Yeah, it's all good, mate. No need to send him to his room when he gets home."

"As if I ever could." Awkward pause. "Thought I'd check in while on an extended break. The defence needs time to submit more evidence."

"Right. That's…annoying."

"Quite. Pro bono lawyer offered by the court. Straight out of law school. Might have this one in the bag after all."

"A win?"

"Could be, but you never can tell with a jury."

"Guess not."

"Listen, the reason I called isn't because of the case. Or Eddie, really. He texted yesterday, hence I assume he is still alive."

"He is." Very much alive and kicking and sucking my cock. Lee closed his eyes, shutting out the images .

"It's about you."

"Me?"

"I saw Cora's post. How you holding up?"

Cora's post. The divorce being final. The start of her new life. "Yeah. No. I'm good, mate. It is what it is. We're still friends."

"Good, because I do kinda have to invite her to Lori's remembrance and I don't want it to be awkward."

Lee drew in a breath, scrubbing a hand down his face. "Yeah. Of course." That box he'd closed just had its lid ripped wide open.

"And you'll be there, of course. I know Eddie made sure filming ended to get back in time."

"Yeah. Course." The thought of stepping back into all that normalcy of his life, the life that intertwined with Eddie's, dawned on Lee as if clubbed to the head.

He hadn't thought about that last night.

"Well, I'll leave you to it. No doubt my first born will make demands of you shortly."

"Ha. Yeah. No doubt." No fucking doubt.

"When you're back, let's go for a pint."

Lee's body sank. "Yeah. That'll be good." It would. He wanted more than he cared to admit to get back to those times sipping on brown ale with his oldest friend, putting the world to rights in between talking about more important things. Like how they both were.

After last night, he might never have that again.

"Later, old man."

"Laters, Ru." Lee switched off the call, chucking the phone onto the kitchen surface and hanging his head. He had to clutch the edges of the counter to prevent his collapse to the floor.

Then smooth, comforting hands ghosted up his back, followed by sweet, supple lips planting delicate kisses between his shoulder blades. It was so sweet, Lee could weep. Because this had to stop. It had to end. Nothing good would come of this.

"It's okay," Eddie rose on his tiptoes to speak into his ear.

"I don't think it is."

Eddie slipped his hands around his waist, drawing him closer and, forehead resting on his back, warm breath trickling down Lee's spine, he held him.

"I lied to him. I never lie to him."

"You didn't lie."

"I didn't tell the truth."

"He's a lawyer, Lee. He makes a living from skirting around the periphery of the truth. And he didn't ask. Like he didn't ask you about the bloke up Kili."

"Jesus." Lee twisted within his hold and Eddie staggered back. He was naked, and any other time, any other person, Lee would have dragged him close and shut that lid on the box in his head by doing something reckless.

But he couldn't.

How could he do that to Eddie? It wasn't fair.

He should have thought about that last night.

"It's okay, Lee. You don't have to tell him anything. I'm not asking you to."

"No?"

"No. Why would I? I'm not a fucking child." Eddie stepped away from him to the coffee machine. The kitchen was tiny, and he was still within reaching distance, but maybe not mentally. "Do you think I've not been used for sex before?"

Lee flinched. "What?"

Eddie laughed, and whether it was genuine amusement, Lee couldn't tell. Too locked in his own trauma, he couldn't delve for Eddie's. "Did you not think I knew what I was getting into? That I'm na?ve to all this? This isn't new to me."

"What isn't?"

"Waking up next to a man reeling in shame."

Eddie might as well have punched him in the gut. Or slapped him round the face. Lee could handle that. If he was honest, Eddie wouldn't have got anywhere near him to land the blow, anyway. Words, however, stung much deeper and Lee couldn't avoid them. Or shoot them away. But it wasn't shame he was feeling. Or regret. Not for having done stuff with a man. Not even for it being Eddie he'd done them with. But because Eddie was Rupert's son .

"That what you think's happening here?" he asked, low and cautious, holding onto the thread of his fallout.

"Isn't it?"

One beat. "No."

"Way to convince me."

"No," Lee said, firmer, with way more conviction and without hesitation. "This has nothing to do with shame. And I'm not using you. I'm having a real fucking hard time dealing with the fact you're Rupert's son. Rupert's kid . His boy. His baby ."

"I'm twenty-three."

"I know you are, but it doesn't change how he'll feel about it. About this." Lee waved a hand between the two of them. "This, to him, is so off limits it's got barricade tape around it."

"Then don't tell him."

Lee's response stuck in his throat.

Eddie shrugged. "I'm not asking you to."

Lee exhaled, long and weary, desperate to understand what was happening. He couldn't compartmentalise this. It was too real. Too raw. "Yesterday you told me you've…had feelings for me for years."

"Yep. Totally have. Fuck, Lee, look at you." Eddie gestured to his entire stature. "You're a tattooed alpha male, fucking hero and every gay man's wet dream."

"So it's all physical?"

One beat. Two beats. Three beats. "Doesn't matter either way."

"It does."

" We're here. Me and you. Just me and you." Eddie stepped forward, getting into Lee's space, and Lee could feel his presence as if his whole being had wrapped itself around him and closed everything else out. "No one else is part of this. It doesn't have to have a label, as I know your aversion to them. We don't even have to talk about it to each other. If you want to…do more stuff, then hell yes, I'm game. If you want to close the lid on it all, then fine. I can take the hit. I'll chalk you up to getting my kicks, scratching that itch. I don't need to cry to my dad about it. Never have." Eddie turned to the coffee machine, hiding his eyes. Because Lee knew behind the confident bravado, Eddie hurt. "Chill. Take a shower. I'll make you a coffee."

Lee waited a moment, mulling it over. Then one step and he was snaking an arm around Eddie and dragging him to his chest. He lifted his chin with a finger and kissed him, slow and languid, feeling Eddie's boldness melting away. Into him.

It wasn't just physical.

He had to remember that.

"I don't know what this is for me yet." Lee kissed him. "It's confusing. And a little scary. But I know what it isn't. And it isn't me using you."

"Then we're on the same page. "

Lee dragged his hands down Eddie's back, and he shivered. He hid the reaction with a languid kiss. Was it because he reciprocated? Because he knew Eddie would have him here, there, anywhere?

Or was it something he hadn't even known?

"Told you I'd find out what you were afraid of," Eddie said between kisses.

"What's that?"

"Me. This."

Lee couldn't respond. Because Eddie might well be right.

"Get in the shower," Eddie said. "I have to be on set in twenty, and the scene doesn't require a fluffer this time."

"A fluffer? Is that what you—"

Eddie cut him off with a kiss. "I'll bring your coffee to you."

"In the shower?"

Eddie smiled. Grinned. With relish .

Yeah. Eddie Brownlee was trouble with a capital T.