5. Connor

5

Connor

“ A m I stupid?” I lay on my bed and stared at my ceiling. “Is going out with him the correct thing to do?”

Evelyn sat next to where I lay and threw a pair of tight jeans at my stomach. “Put these on with that heather-gray Henley I bought you last Christmas. It brings out your eyes.”

“Fine.” I stood up and went into my closet for a bit of privacy while I changed. “But answer my question. Is this nuts? Should I cancel?”

“Of course you shouldn’t.” Evelyn looked through my top dresser drawer. “If I were you, I would have said fuck the dating part and gone straight to the mating part. But, apparently, you have to make things more complicated.”

“I am not—”

“Yes, you are.” Evelyn threw me a pair of the sexy lace manties I had hidden at the bottom of my drawer. “Go put these on. You need something sexy. For the confidence boost.”

“I already have briefs on.”

“No. I saw the ones you have. They are good for everyday wear, but you must put those lacey ones on for this date.”

“He will not see me naked tonight.”

“Of course not.” Evelyn rolled her eyes and shooed me away. “Go in there and change. Now.”

“Fine.” I closed the door this time to change. Thank the Goddess, I had a large walk-in. It made this so much easier. Once they were on, I bent down to pick up my jeans and put them back on but was startled by Evelyn’s squeal.

“Yes. Those are perfect.” Evelyn pushed her way through the doorway and scanned my nearly bare ass. “He will be begging to eat you up in those.”

“Evelyn. What the hell?” I pushed her out and closed the door. “I’m putting my clothes on, and you’d better stay out there.”

“Fine.”

“And I told you, no one is seeing me naked tonight.”

“We’ll see.”

“No, we will not see.” I strode into my bedroom wearing the outfit she had picked. “So, how do I look now?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely hot.” Evelyn clapped her hands. “You’ll drive him wild. Especially if you plan to play hard to catch.”

Shaking my head, I left my bedroom and entered the kitchen. “Do you want some tea or coffee before you go? I still have about an hour before he’s supposed to arrive.”

“Sure, I can use a cup of Earl Grey if you have it.” Evelyn sat at my kitchen table and opened the tin of butter cookies in the middle. “Oh my Goddess. I love these. Can I say how much I adore you when you get into your anxious baker mood?”

“Thanks, I guess.” I switched the electric tea kettle on and got out the Empress’s Earl Grey and Calming Lavender Chamomile teas I bought from Pink Coffee Cafe’s online shop. “I’m glad my nerves could benefit you, at least.”

“What? I think it’s cute that you bake when worrying about something.” Evelyn bit into her favorite treat that I made and moaned. “Remember that one summer when you had writer’s block, and it was close to the deadline? I came over and had to help you take a bunch of pies and cakes to nearby families because you baked for three days straight?”

“I remember.” I poured the hot water into the white mugs and brought them to the table, placing a bowl of sugar and a spoon beside them. “I still have trouble eating pies and cakes after that one.”

“Well, I will eat all the cookies you can make.” Evelyn stuffed a third cookie into her mouth and chewed.

“Good. I have three more tins in my pantry, waiting for you.” I stood and gathered the cookie tins I had put aside for my best friend. “Take them to the office if there are too many.”

“I wouldn’t share my treats with those sharks if they begged. These are too precious for them. Although, if you happen to make some with laxatives in them—”

“No, I will not do that.” I sat down and grabbed a cookie out of the open tin. “Are things that bad? Really?”

“Nah. Don’t worry about it.” Evelyn waved the question off. “I’m annoyed by some changes that are taking place within the company.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not now. You are supposed to be excited for tonight’s date. Not listening to me groan about office drama.”

“I’m here if you need a venting buddy, okay?”

“I know you are. Thanks.” Evelyn took a sip of her tea. “Now, can we talk about how Bryce looks after all these years? Is he still the cute boy from high school?”

“Fuck.” I sighed, thinking of his muscular frame and manly scruff. “He is gorgeous. Part of me wanted to forget everything else and bend over and beg him to breed me.”

“Connor.” Evelyn gasped. “You did not just say that.”

“If you had seen him, you’d understand.” I shook my head. “I wish I could get over myself and the past years of pain and give myself entirely to this. We are fated, after all. It’s supposed to be easy.”

“Who said anything about it being easy?” Evelyn put down her half-eaten cookie. “Fated only means you two fit together in the most perfect way possible. It doesn’t erase human miscommunications and misjudgment. It doesn’t make the pain disappear. You need to process the past the way that works for you. Once you have, you can move on to the future. All kidding aside, I think you are doing the best thing for you two by taking slow steps and trying to build trust again that, this time, no one is leaving. If you jump in, who’s to say you wouldn’t burn it all to the ground the first time he’s late coming home from the store, and you freak out thinking he left you?”

“I don’t think I would go that crazy.”

“Maybe not. But I’ve met omegas who have, like my own papa. My father always tried to make up for something he hadn’t been aware he’d done. But Papa couldn’t get over that he had left him pregnant with my brother. It was a one-night stand, and they reconnected a couple of months later, claiming each other once they realized they were mates. But Papa never let himself slow down and heal first. He jumped in, and everyone paid the price.”

“They are happy now, though, right?” I always thought her parents had finally gotten over the issues that plagued them in our teenage years.

“Yeah, but think of the three decades it took them to get to that place of being truly happy.” Evelyn picked up her cookie and took a bite. “Maybe by taking the time to date now, you are saving yourself and any future children thirty years of fighting and crying.”

Evelyn’s words gave me something to think about and more confidence that what I had decided to do was the right path for me. I needed time to heal the wounds Bryce’s leaving caused. It wasn’t his fault or mine, exactly. But the hurt was still there. And if we addressed it before we mated by building a solid foundation of trust and friendship again, perhaps I would get that Happily Ever After I’d always dreamt of.