Chapter 31

31

28 years old - Lily

I open the door to my apartment, greeted by the sight of Bryce sitting on the couch with a bag of chips on his lap and the TV on at a low volume. "She's sleeping," he tells me. My head turns to pay closer attention to what he's watching, a rerun of some show from the early 2000s, and join him.

"It's been a while since I've caught you sneaking back in after a night out," he teases with a smirk.

I roll my eyes. "It wasn't like that and you know it."

"Are you happy that you guys reconnected? Or should I have just kept my mouth shut?" he asks, still looking at the TV.

"Maybe a bit of both."

"You know," Bryce says as he stands up to get himself a glass of water, "he's still here until next week. Why don't you ask him to join you tomorrow? You're still going to Frankfurt for your work thing, right?"

"I can't just invite him to go on a work trip with me, Bryce," I reply, a little harsher than I intended. "Besides, he came here for a job interview and to check out Berlin. Not Frankfurt, Berlin."

Bryce shrugs as he opens the fridge and grabs a few of Birdie's grapes before popping a few into his mouth. "I'm betting you all the money in the world he'll say yes if you ask him. I'm also betting that you guys didn't iron everything out just yet. Nick and Lily; always complicated."

He's not wrong. Nick shut himself down after I told him he was the last person I had sex with. He didn't say much after that, and I would be lying if I said it didn't sting. It still does. However, I also felt immense relief. How far would I have gone if I hadn't confessed to him? My body breaks into sweat thinking about having sex with him, or anyone else for that matter, just like it did in his hotel room. Thank God for his father calling him when he did, giving me an excuse to leave.

"We don't have to iron everything out. I told him the truth, apologized, and now we're good. It's enough for now. The awkward truce we have established our grounds on is enough for all of us to be friends again when he moves here in a few months."

"It's not that simple and you know it." I ignore him. "Lily, you've got to be kidding yourself if you think we will all be best friends and sing Kumbaya together after this. It's never that simple with the two of you."

Before I can say anything, the door to Birdie's room creaks open and a small figure approaches us, rubbing her eyes as she comes. "Mommy, you're home!"

I scoop her up in my arms and she dangles hers over my neck, her right hand gripping my back. She's getting too old for this, me carrying her. The only time she lets me do it is if she's sleepy. To be fair, my back is also punishing me for still trying to do this. "Of course, baby, I want to spend as much time with you as possible before I have to leave tomorrow." Birdie nods. I bring her to my room and lay her on my queen-sized bed. Her body jerks, but immediately relaxes again, falling deeply asleep in my room.

"Thanks for watching her, Bryce," I tell him.

"Don't mention it. She's going to be with Jacinta and Mariana while you're in Frankfurt, right?"

I nod. "I asked her whether she wanted to stay home with you. Sorry, her friends are her world." Bryce nods, but I can tell he's disappointed. Up until recently, before Birdie became best friends with Jacinta, Uncle Bryce was always her favorite person. I can't blame her. Bryce has been with us since day one, and I am forever grateful.

He was the one who took me in when my mom kicked me out of the house. However, it didn't take us long to figure out that my panic attacks were set off by living in an apartment where my rapist used to live in. Even though he never dared come back and Bryce already threw all of his stuff out, I still sensed Logan in every corner of the space. Bryce begged Arthur, who, although sympathetic to what happened to me, couldn't really do anything out of loyalty to my mother, to pay for a room for me at a nearby hotel, at least until I had something figured out. Not only did he pay for a month-long stay, but he also convinced my mother to hand over the life insurance money we got after my dad died. The one we never needed to use since she met Arthur Simmons two months after his casket was buried.

Arthur and I don't have much of a relationship anymore. He's always kept his distance, but we always take him to lunch whenever he is visiting Bryce. Birdie calls him Grandpa Arthur, and he lets her. Twice a year, Arthur gets to experience what having a grandchild is like. In a way, it's our way of showing gratitude to him. I know the lunches that we treat him to don't cost much, but I don't know how else I can thank him.

When I was pregnant and homeless I thought my life was over, but Bryce convinced me to move to Germany with him and study here instead so he could help me with Birdie. The insurance payout wasn't big enough for my tuition fee for the English-speaking program in Paris that I longed to attend, but it was enough to cover my and Birdie's expenses as I learned German and finished my bachelor's degree. And when Bryce said he would support me, he really meant it. He did drop-offs and pickups, babysat when I had exams, and taught Birdie how to ride a bike and tie her shoelaces.

I can never repay Bryce in this lifetime, but I guess I can take his advice and spend more time with Nick before he leaves. Bryce is right; this mess between Nick and I—it's far from over. I would hate it if the rumor mill started churning at his place of work, affecting his career somehow. Bryce dedicated most of his twenties to that company. And here no one knows us, no one knows the trail of mess we left behind in Elsham Cove. Bryce's image is squeaky clean—he's their hardworking golden boy with a sister who's a single mom and also happens to live in Berlin. Most people don't even realize we're stepsiblings. The sooner Nick and I get on solid footing and sort everything out, the less chance that the mess will spill over.

"Alright, Bryce," I said. He tilts his head slightly, not knowing what I am talking about. "I'll ask Nick whether he wants to come with me tomorrow so that we can talk more."

"Hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus." He brings his hands together and looks up, pretending to pray.

"But I'm doing this for you," I clarify. "I don't want this to blow up at work a few months from now. The people there shouldn't know about…Logan and everything. You remember how mean everyone was in Elsham Cove, don't you? I'd hate it if people there started whispering about you."

He chuckles. "That may be true, and I appreciate it, but let's not pretend you didn't notice how your prince charming looks now. Hell, even I think he's hot. I've known you for a long time, Lil. You're not asking him to come to Frankfurt with you just for my sake." He squints his right eye, winking at me.

I hit him lightly on the arm. "Ugh, you are so annoying, Bryce."