Chapter 3

3

18 years old - Nick

Three months later

" I just don't understand," Sienna says while putting her bra back on. I shake my head, not interested in having this discussion for the hundredth time. When we started sleeping together in September, I told her I only wanted something casual. And I told her again, when she started acting clingy, that I did not want to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I sent her no mixed signals whatsoever, so why the fuck does this conversation keep on happening?

I stay silent and stare down at my bed as she continues her rant. "It's because of her, isn't it? I might be new in town, but I'm not stupid. Everyone in Elsham Cove keeps talking about how cute you and Lillian Lee were. Together from the moment you guys were in kindergarten until the point you left. You are still hung up on her, aren't you?" Sienna asks the second question in a mocking voice, causing me to roll my eyes.

I know that if I don't reply to her, this will continue for another hour, so I finally cave in and answer her. "Why do you always have to fucking bring Lily into this? Yes, we used to be together before I moved, but we were children and that was years ago. I already told you, I'm just not interested in a relationship right now. Besides, she has a boyfriend. You know she is dating Kevin Bernas, right?"

Now it's Sienna who rolls her eyes. "You know they broke up, right?"

I shrug and glare at her, trying my best to hide my piqued interest. "I don't care, Sienna. Now get dressed before my mom finds you here. We're going to be late for school."

Sienna sneaks out of our house and I get ready for the day before driving to Elsham Cove High. I see Lily at school; Sienna was right. Kevin Bernas and Lily are no longer galloping through the hallway hand in hand. Huh . In fact, they try their best to avoid one another. He didn't deserve her, anyway. Why were they even together?

At lunchtime, I spot Lily, Tabitha, and Taylor in the cafeteria and put my backpack on the empty chair next to Lily's. She silently plays with her lasagna on the tray, stabbing it with a fork. It has been surreal being back here. In some ways, it feels like nothing has changed at all. I am still hanging out with the three of them like before I left, but we are all different people now.

I've always thought Lily was pretty, even before I moved, when she still had braces and side bangs covering half her face in her emo phase. But the present Lily is something else. Her dark brown hair is now kept at shoulder-length, showing off her collarbone and cleavage. Cleavage that wasn't there before. Her body has changed in the years I've been away. It's curvier now. Her face as well—the brown irises of her eyes are a shade darker, almost matching the color of her hair. It suits her pale skin. Everything about her suits her. My jaw tightens, imagining Kevin Bernas kissing her, touching her, fucking her. He had her for two years. Two whole years.

"Tabs, can you drop me off at home after this?" Lily asks Tabitha. "I forgot the teachers are having their quarterly meeting and didn't tell my mom that school is only half a day. My mom dropped me off today since my car is being serviced." Before Tabitha can say anything, I answer, "I'll take you. I have to go to the organic grocery store near your place and pick something up for my mom, anyway."

We silently walk toward my car in the parking lot after we finish eating. She's not very chatty today, not that she's as talkative as she used to be, anyway. If an introverted extrovert was a real thing, she would be the textbook definition of it. She's still outgoing, but she keeps a lot of her feelings to herself, the opposite of the girl people used to call chatterbox Lily in third grade. For some reason, this doesn't sit right with me.

"Can we stop at the store first? It's easier this way," I ask her while starting the car, trying to extend my time with her for as long as possible.

"Yeah, I don't mind."

"So, I heard you and Kevin broke up."

She observes me with curiosity on her face. "Did your girlfriend tell you that?" she asks me, one of her eyebrows raised. "Sienna saw us breaking up at his party a few days ago. Well, she saw me catch Kevin shoving his tongue down some random girl's throat. I guess she filled in the blanks herself." She looks out the window now, at the houses we are passing by.

"What a dick." I shake my head and scoff. "Also, she's not my girlfriend."

She lets out a smirk and side-eyes me. "Yeah, right, I see you guys all over each other at parties. No way you guys aren't at least sleeping together."

Lily puts her feet up on the dashboard, a bad habit she's had since her legs were long enough to pull it off. Her mom would always yell at her for doing this when we used to carpool before my family moved. Following the black tights that are covering her legs, my gaze trails farther as I pretend to look at the side-view mirror on her side of the car. Her short denim skirt has bunched up, exposing her thighs. No matter how hard I try, I just can't take my eyes off her.

I clear my throat and look at the steering wheel, trying to fight the urge to study her body some more. I've noticed this more and more lately. Lily is eighteen now and my body reacts to her differently than it did when we were thirteen.

"I'm not lying. I never said I wasn't sleeping with her. I just said that she wasn't my girlfriend."

Lily's mouth curves. She's happy that Sienna is not my girlfriend. Gotcha. "Why isn't she your girlfriend?" she asks me. "In fact, why don't you have a girlfriend yet? A lot of girls are obsessed with you. Tabitha and I are tired of hearing it. They ask us for your number all the time. Just pick one of your groupies already, so the rest will leave us alone." She tries to play it cool, but her eyes look uncertain. I wonder if she gets jealous when someone tells her they have a crush on me.

I let out a chuckle. "Groupies, huh? What do they say about me?"

"Well, you know, they think you're so cool now after you came back from Japan all cultured, tall, and hot," she says. "It doesn't help that the jocks like you, too. Unfortunately, I have the misfortune of being your first girlfriend and now your friend, so they all come to me for tips and tricks." She says it so casually that her lack of jealousy is starting to get to me. "No matter how much I tell them, relationships before puberty don't really count." Ouch .

I bring the car to a stop and shift the gear to park the car, my knuckles brushing against her thigh as I move my hand. She stiffens slightly.

"What do you think?" I ask her as we unbuckle the seatbelts, trying to make it sound like a joke. "Do you also think I came back all cultured, tall, and hot?" She flashes an uncertain smile, and her cheeks redden, but she doesn't answer.

Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, "Because if you do, I wouldn't mind being your rebound from Kevin." Real smooth, Nick. You just made yourself sound like a douchebag.

I hope I didn't come off too desperate, but Tabitha's house party is tonight. I don't want her to nurse her broken heart by getting drunk and hooking up with someone else. Or worse, getting back together with Kevin. I'd gladly be her rebound if she wants a distraction from her breakup.

"Nick," she says, her voice soft. She looks up at me from under her dark eyelashes as she speaks, almost embarrassed to admit what she's saying. "Kevin was my rebound."

"Rebound from who?"

"From you."