Chapter 24

24

28 years old - Nick

" W ho is she, Bryce?" My finger points at the girl in the picture standing next to Lily, unable to take my eyes off Bryce's phone. Although the girl has the greenest irises I have ever seen, she is the carbon copy of Lily when she was that age. If I had to take a wild guess based on her height, I'd say she's about nine years old. She can't be older than that. Lily wasn't pregnant at seventeen.

I feel my head spinning the more I think about it. The girl is wearing a pink tutu. She is holding Lily's hand, both of them smiling at the camera. They must be at her recital or something; I can see other children with their parents in the background.

I finally take in the entirety of the picture and look at an older Lily, a version of her I have never met before. Her hair is longer now, ending at her stomach. I frown when I notice her figure. She's still as beautiful as she was when we were eighteen, but you can't hide the fact that she's so tiny. She's too fucking thin. She must have been at least twelve pounds lighter in this photo than she was in high school.

Bryce stops a waiter to ask for the check before turning his head back toward me. His expression is filled with compassion, knowing full well that I'm not okay right now. I sit back down on my chair and ask him the question I am dreading most. "Is she yours?"

"No."

"Are you sure?" I ask him again with one eyebrow raised.

He smirks. "Yes. Not really into the whole stepsibling kink."

I can't help but snort. My face becomes serious again when I realize what Bryce had just said. "Is she mine?"

He falls silent. I shake my head. He can't fucking do this. "You can't open Pandora's box and then not tell me shit, Bryce."

A waiter comes to our table, bringing the bill to Bryce. I take out my wallet from my back pocket, but Bryce is faster and pays. He mumbles something to Bryce in German and leaves us to continue our conversation.

"Nick, look. I know you have questions. You probably have loads of them. I really am fucking sorry that you became collateral damage in whatever the fuck was going on during that time, but it really is not my place to tell. If you want answers, you need to talk to Lily." He looks out the window and exhales a long breath. "For what it's worth, the guilt is eating her alive. She tried to contact you a few years ago, you know?" I blocked her. I blocked her after that night.

"What exactly happened ten years ago, Bryce? And please, spare me your bullshit. As if that has stopped you before. You used to text me every time her mom upset her, remember? We used to be friends, man. I used to fucking think you would be my brother-in-law one day." I feel my nails digging into my skin. In fact, my whole body feels like it is condensed into a big, giant ball of fury right now. "And now," I continue, yelling at Bryce in a low voice. "Now you can't even tell me whether I have a fucking child or not."

His lips part, only for them to close again directly after. Eventually, he nods. "If I tell you, will you promise me you will talk to Lily before you go back to the U.S.?" he asks. "You told Jakob during the interview that you're going to stay here until next week. I know you're not leaving anytime soon."

"You have my word."

"No, Nick. She's not your kid."

Bryce must have seen the sense of betrayal I am feeling because he elaborates. "Before you jump to any conclusions, she didn't cheat on you. She would never do that. She loved you very much."

She didn't cheat on you.

I dissect that sentence in my mind.

Oh shit.

Now the pieces are starting to fit in my brain and my heart is struggling to accept what my brain has understood.

You became collateral damage in whatever the fuck was going on. It really is not my place to tell.

"Who was it?" I ask him through gritted teeth. My voice is cracking, matching the defeat I feel inside. It's like all the resentment I have felt these past years instantly got replaced with sadness and confusion. Eighteen-year-old Nick would have rushed to kill the guy. This Nick just feels…I should feel elated that Lily wasn't cheating on me with Bryce, but the breadcrumbs of truth he is offering me now make me wish that the rumors were true instead.

"I think this is where I should stop speaking. Don't you think this conversation between you two is a long time coming? Ask her yourself, please. We can go meet her tomorrow."

I nod. He is right. He usually always was the voice of reason. Maybe that's why deep inside I never really believed the others when they speculated that Lily and Bryce were secretly sleeping together and decided to run off together. The immediate marital breakdown of Lily's mom and his dad definitely put more fuel to the fire that was already burning brightly. The yuppies of Elsham Cove had a field day. Lily's mom wasn't exactly the nicest person, and the chatters were a way to get back at her for all the times she treated them as less than.

"How is she?" I finally muster the courage to ask Bryce the million-dollar question when we walk back to the hotel lobby.

"She works in marketing now. She gets to work from home a couple of days a week, which she loves since she gets to spend more time with her daughter. She likes it here. She's good, yeah."

I scratch my head, not knowing how to rephrase the question. "No, I mean, how is she...headspace wise? You know?" My eyes dart to the phone that's in his pocket. "She looked so thin in the picture."

He looks down at the marble floor, unsure of what to say next. "She's getting better and better. I managed to convince her to go to therapy a few years ago. She's been trying to be strong since a child is involved, but she's a different person, Nick. I still don't know whether it was the right decision or not to tell you those things. I'm crossing a line here, but I hope that she can find some form of closure by talking to you. You as well. She blames herself. You know Astrid and how she was."

I nod. "Thanks, man." I offer him my hand to shake. "So see you tomorrow, then."

"Alright, see you tomorrow," he says, before walking toward the revolving door. Just as he is about to enter the opening, he turns around and calls to me again. "And Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"For my part in all this, I'm truly sorry."