Chapter 20

20

18 years old - Nick

I t has been three weeks since our big fight and all is well again, almost. Although we are back to our loving selves, pre-college acceptance letters, Lily has been rejecting my advances to have sex with her. I swear she winces every time I touch her. I'm starting to get fucking blue balls, but I don't want to pressure her and make her all mad again like I did at the cabin when I tried to initiate makeup sex. I guess it takes time after such a big fight and my big announcement to get back in the groove. Which is why I'm hoping tonight will change everything.

I'm just about finished setting up the tent when the bell rings. I walk toward the door as I comb my hair with my hand on the way. Lily's silhouette is peeking through the stained-glass window that's a part of the front door. I grab the door handle and let her in my house.

"Hey, you," I say. She lets out a genuine smile, but her eyes remain sad. She's always sad ever since the cabin. It's all my fault. Lily walks in and I grab her by the waist and put my palms in the back pocket of her skinny jeans. I give her a peck on the cheek, catching a whiff of her body lotion. She smells like flowers.

"You look pretty, today," I tell her, earning myself a blush from her. She really does. She's wearing one of her nice blouses and she has her hair in a wavy style.

"Well, you wouldn't tell me what the plan was, so I thought I'd come prepared in case we go somewhere nice." She jokingly does a small curtsy and I laugh at how adorable she is. I lucked out on this one.

My parents are gone for the weekend, and I thought I would put my mom-and-dad-less house to good use. The last time we spent the night together was at the cabin, if you could even call it that, since she left in the middle of the night and I didn't sleep. To get us back on track and prove to her how serious I am about us, I've planned the most romantic night ever.

"Nick, there is something I need to te—" She stops mid-sentence, her hand clasping her mouth. I close the door behind her and watch her from the back as she takes in the view of my living room from the foyer.

She marches straight there with me right behind her and stands still just before we reach the sitting area. A tent is set up on the carpet, between the couch and the TV, playing the sound of rain at a low volume. On the couch I laid out all of our favorite foods: her favorite candy bars, my go-to barbecue flavored chips, my mom's cherry pie…I even have the fancy banana pudding from that hipster bakery in Radinger. And of course, her favorite pasta from the only Italian restaurant in town. You name it; I bought it.

Lily turns around to face me, a single tear rolling down her face. I can't help but frown at the sight. She's been doing this a lot lately. Crying.

She holds her hand to her mouth before coming toward me and locking her lips with mine, a gesture I gladly welcome considering the fact that we haven't really kissed in weeks aside from the hello and goodbye pecks. Tears of happiness, got it . I break the kiss when she starts fanning her face with her hand to make the tears go away.

"Nick, I can't believe you did this!"

"I remember you telling me that you wanted to try out camping. I actually already brought all the gear with us in the trunk of your car when we went to Tabitha's cabin, in case we wanted to spontaneously ditch them. Since we never got to actually check out the surrounding area and I doubt the two would invite us up there again after the shit we pulled, I thought I'd make it up to you today." I stand in front of her with my hands in my jeans pocket, mentally cringing that I took the advice of those two idiots and did this. I hope this wasn't over the top.

She loops her arms around my waist and leans her head on my chest. "I love you so much, Nick," she tells me. "I'm so sorry about spring break. You have no idea."

"I love you, too, Lil." I lift my arm off her shoulder and start walking to the front of the tent. "Enough sorrys now, go check the inside of this tent out. The real surprise is in there."

She walks toward me and crouches on the floor to unzip the tent. She gasps. When I come down to crouch next to her, she starts giggling and the glimmer missing from her eyes finally makes an appearance again.

"Well, aren't you the romantic?" She perks up. Inside the tent lie the sleeping bags that we used during the first night we slept together in my mom's car.

I shake my head and grin. "It's cute that you remember, babe, but that's not the surprise. Go check inside the sleeping bag."

She crawls inside the tent and finally spots the lump under one of the sleeping bags. She pulls out the brand-new, pink hiking bag I bought for her and inspects it. Opening the zipper, she takes out the French pocket dictionary, the Europe travel guide for budget travelers, as well as my acceptance letter from the Radinger Institute of Technology. Before she can say anything, I start to speak up.

"Since I'm not very good with my words, I thought I'd just show you how I feel." I pause and clasp my hands together, feeling the sweat on my palms.

"Please don't tell me you're gonna propose?" Lily asks jokingly.

I give her a small peck on the cheek and speak through my smile. "No, babe, you have to wait a while for what one."

"But I am going to tell you something cheesy, so be prepared." I wink at her and she smiles as she wipes off the tears falling down her face.

"It's really fucking cheesy now that I think about it. Urrgh, but bear with me, alright? Lily, I don't care if I end up going to school here in Radinger or if I have to start over from zero and learn French so I can go to a French university. Just like I don't care whether we go camping in the woods or here in the living room. All I care about is being with you. Life is?—"

Before I can finish my speech, Lily grabs the back of my neck and our lips crash together. She kisses me with so much neediness and intensity, I struggle to breathe. I bite her bottom lip and she lets out a moan; the sound causing my heart to race. I groan, and it takes everything in me to pull myself away from her.

"This is all fucking great, but let me finish first, okay?" I tell her, somewhat embarrassed. "I've been practicing this fucking speech in front of the mirror since yesterday and there's probably not gonna be a lot of moments like this in store for you. I'm not romantic."

"You are," she says. "But I'll let you finish, Nicholas Johnson."

I clear my throat. "As I was saying, Lillian. Life is filled with adventures. Sometimes you get to plan them yourself. Sometimes they come out of the blue, surprising you. Whatever adventures we will have in our lives, I want us to go through them together."

Lily's lips quirk upwards. "You're right, Nick. That really was cheesy," she teases. She closes the already small distance between us and looks up at me. "But I love it. And I love you."

We start making out and all the sappiness and touches and proximity inside the tent go to my dick. I pull myself away from her and put one hand behind my neck. Letting out a forced laugh, I try to ignore the throbbing pressure on my groin.

"Lil, I want nothing else than to fuck you right now, but if it's not going to happen, then you need to tell me."

She quirks her eyebrows and tilts her head in confusion, waiting for me to finish. Her lipstick is already smeared on her face, and that view, yet again, immediately fuels my boner. I adjust the bulge in my pants and clear my throat in frustration. Control yourself, Nick. Control yourself.

"It's just that...We haven't really done anything since the day we left for the cabin and you've always said no when I tried to initiate ever since then. I don't want to pressure you or anything if you still need time to work through the fight, but I'm having a major case of blue balls here. So if this isn't going to go anywhere tonight, let's just cuddle or something. I won't survive a make-out session leading to nowhere, babe."

This is fucking humiliating. Lily looks uncertain, then chuckles, clearly amused by this.

I shake my head jokingly. "I fucking hate you," I whisper while smiling. Unlike when I said it in the cabin, there is no bitterness this time, only playfulness.

"No, you don't," she answers me while she touches my arm. Lily starts looking at me with a softer gaze, which also goes straight to my boner. Fuck, my dick is going to fucking fall off if this continues.

To my surprise, Lily proceeds to unbutton her blouse slowly, giving me a glimpse of her cleavage, before taking the whole top off and throwing it on top of the pink hiking backpack. At the same speed she took the buttons out of the holes, she starts unclasping her bra, revealing her naked upper body to me.

She pauses for a moment after that, not sure what to do with herself. She doesn't look like she's really into this, though. Her hands did all the work undressing herself, but her eyes tell me she would rather be elsewhere. Should I stop her?

She shoots me a smile that's good enough for me to brush off the empty look in her eyes before. My mouth falls open, not believing that this is finally happening, and Lily lets out a small chuckle again. "Come here, Nick," she says, her voice like velvet.

I lay her down on top of the sleeping bag that's covering the sleeping pad. I trail kisses from her neck down to her breasts. Lily's body stiffens and looking up, I can see doubt in her eyes.

"Lil, seriously," I tell her. "If you're not into it, just say so. We can do it some other time."

Before she can answer, her jeans start ringing next to us. My hand takes her phone out of reflex. "It's Bryce," I tell her.

"Ignore it, Nick. I'll call him later." I look at her curiously. Are they fighting or something?

The moment her phone falls silent, mine starts vibrating. I lift my left index finger to her while mouthing ‘one sec' and take the call with my right hand. "What's up, man?" I answer. Lily seems annoyed that I answered.

"Is Lily with you?"

"Yes, Bryce, can we call you later? We're in the middle of something."

"Where are you guys? I'll come right now. I'm in Elsham Cove. It's important."

I pinch the top of my nose with my fingers. Bryce must have talked loud enough for Lily to hear because she immediately grabs the phone and ends the call before putting both of our phones on silent.

She pushes me down and starts straddling me in the middle of the tent. "I'll call him later, okay? Now let me show you how much I love you and your cheesiness, Nick."