Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Cedara

It's nice to wake up without feeling the overwhelming urge to be moving about before sunrise. I guess that will happen after hours of physical exertion.

I smile. Barrett is beside me, and his body is warm and solid against mine. I don't remember falling asleep, but I love the fact that I'm waking up beside him.

Although…

I don't remember falling asleep…and I don't remember much else, either.

We made love. I know that much. But the rest is a blur.

That's odd.

I strain to recall what happened yesterday. My family came around. There was conversation, I think. But the details are hazy.

My fingertips have found their way to my throat, where the mate bite tingles beneath them. It's healed already.

Already?

I trace it more carefully. The skin is unbroken, a scar already formed. The mark I will carry for the rest of my life. That should make me smile, but something feels…wrong.

My brow furrows as I stare out of the window into the morning sky. The curtains are open, and gray clouds hang overhead. But it had been clear last night, hadn't it?

Stretching my limbs, I find myself groaning.

God, I'm sore.

It feels like I've run a marathon. Sure, the sex was good, but this seems like too much. Pushing myself up onto my palm, I brush my hair from my face… And suck in a sharp gasp.

The sheets around me are streaked with crimson.

What…?!

I shove them away as if they're contaminated, only to see more red coating my own skin.

"Oh, my God!" The sound of my voice shatters the silence.

"Cedara?"

I scramble to pull the sheets back over me, clutching them up to my chest. Barrett is half-sitting, staring at me with a look of pure horror.

"Barrett?" There's a plea in my voice. "Barrett, what's going on?"

If he'd been asleep before, he's wide awake now. "Fuck," he says, rising onto his knees and reaching for me. I shrink away.

"What is this? What happened to me?" Even as I ask the question, answers are coming to me.

This is blood.

And it's not mine.

A quick glance at my mate confirms that it's not his, either.

Oh, thank God!

He still looks horrified. Or is that revulsion?

Please, no! Please!

"Just stay still," he tells me, reaching out again. I don't move as he runs his hands over me…so different from how he'd touched me before. He seems to be checking for injuries because he sits back, seemingly satisfied.

"It's not mine." I shake my head. I feel sick to my stomach.

"No," he says. He runs his hand through his hair. "Jesus."

"I don't know what's going on, Barrett." My voice trembles. I'm fighting back tears.

"Don't you?" He tilts his head.

What does he mean by that?

"What do you mean?" I say my thoughts out loud.

"What do you remember about last night?"

"I… we… We were together." My hand strays to my throat again. "You gave me this. We sealed our bond." What I'm saying should make me warm inside, but his bearing doesn't allow me to.

"That was the day before, Cedara. You spent yesterday as your wolf."

"No! I…" I trail off. "I did?" I sound uncertain. It can't be true. "But I would remember." I sound feeble.

"Would you?"

"Oh, God, I don't know!" I'm about to rub my face with my hand when I realize that my palm is coated with dried blood. I fight down a gag, my anxiety spiraling. "I really don't remember anything," I say, my voice trembling. "You're saying I was in my wolf form all day?"

He nods solemnly. "You wouldn't shift back."

My heart races as I try to process this information. How could I have lost an entire day like that?

Like when I was caged…

Barrett's face is pained as he describes the events to me. "You were restless, prowling near the door. I tried to get you to shift, but nothing worked. Eventually, I called Dr. Bea for help. We gave you more of the antidote."

"And it worked!"

"Not immediately. You went to sleep like that. The wolf."

I shut my eyes, processing this, the iron tang in the air nauseating me.

"Cedara…" He touches my arm. "She's worried. If this gets worse… If you regress…"

"Then what?" I whisper.

"You may never come back." His gentle tone can't mask the shock of it.

"Oh, my God." I might never regain my human form. I love being in my wolf state, but not the way I've been these past months. Mindless. Not like that. The thought terrifies me.

The blood coating the sheets and my skin terrifies me more.

Did I hurt someone? Attack them? The idea makes me feel sick to my stomach.

"Barrett," I whisper, my voice shaking. "What happened? Whose blood is this?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know, Cedara. I wish I could tell you." As he says it, I can't help getting the feeling that there's something he's not saying.

"I could never hurt someone. Never." Suddenly, I'm remembering the sense of satisfaction I felt tearing into the guard who'd tormented me. It doesn't matter that he was evil. I reveled in his screams.

But this…?

"Barrett…" I press. I search his face, desperate for any sign that he believes me, that he doesn't think I'm capable of something so horrific. But there's a flicker of doubt in his eyes that cuts me to the core.

My greatest fear has always been losing control and hurting someone I love, especially him. The thought that I may have actually done that is almost too much to bear.

I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly feeling very small and vulnerable. "I'm scared," I admit. "What if I did something terrible? What if I hurt someone?"

Barrett reaches for me, his expression softening. "We'll figure this out." But even as he tries to reassure me, I can't shake the feeling that something has changed between us, a seed of doubt planted that may never fully go away.

Barrett pulls me close, his strong arms engulfing me. I cling to him, hiding my face against his chest as I fight back tears. "I'm so scared," I whisper, my voice muffled.

"Shhh, it's okay." He strokes my hair, his touch calming. "I won't let anything happen to you."

I want to believe him, but the doubt is there, that nagging voice whispering that maybe this time, it's out of his control. Still, I force myself to push it away, focusing on the steady beat of his heart, the warmth of his embrace.

For a long moment, we stay like that, drawing strength from each other's presence.

A sudden crash from the other room shatters the moment. Then comes the unmistakable sound of heavy boots from outside.

Releasing me, Barrett leaps from the bed, grabbing his jeans from the floor. "Stay here," he commands, already moving toward the door.

I kneel on the bed behind him, clutching the sheet around me. My heart pounds as the footsteps grow louder. Whoever is out there isn't being subtle.

Then the bedroom door crashes open with such force that it slams against the wall. I give a small shriek as Jagger strides in, flanked by several wolves I don't recognize. His face is thunderous, his eyes blazing with a fury I've never seen before.

"It's happened again," he barks, not even bothering with a greeting.

Barrett moves to stand in front of me protectively. "What are you talking about?" His voice is low, a warning.

Jagger's gaze flicks to me, his lip curling in disgust as he takes in the blood staining my skin. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Another death. Savagely mauled. Barely a mile from Steel Lakes."

"I told you it can't be her, dammit!" Barrett yells.

Can't be me? Another death? Has he known about this?

"Really?" Jagger jerks his chin at me. "I think that speaks volumes, don't you?" His eyes drop to the bloody sheets.

"You're jumping to conclusions." Barrett holds his ground.

"We have proof this time. One of the guards spotted a massive golden wolf prowling outside the walls last night. She's responsible for that killing."

My blood turns to ice in my veins. No…it can't be. I would never…could never…

"That's impossible! She was right here with me, for fuck's sake!" Barrett shouts, but there's a tremor in his voice that fills me with dread. Does he think I'm capable of such a thing?

Jagger shakes his head, his expression grim. "I'm sorry, Barrett. But we can't take any more chances. She's too much of a risk to the pack." He jerks his head to the others. "Take her."

It all happens so fast. The wolves lunge forward, grabbing my arms and dragging me off the bed. I cry out in fear as the sheets are ripped away, leaving me completely exposed.

"No! Let her go!" Barrett roars, trying to push past them, but Jagger blocks his path.

"Stand down, Barrett," the Alpha growls. "You know I have no choice."

I thrash wildly in their grasp, panic clawing at my throat. "I didn't do anything! You have to believe me!" I plead, looking from face to face desperately.

But there's only cold accusation in their eyes. They think I'm a monster, a killer.

"Please…" I beg Barrett, searching his face for any sign that he still trusts me, still believes in me.

But all I see is tormented anguish as he's held back, unable to get to me. In that moment, I know he's not sure what to believe anymore.

The realization is like a physical blow, stealing my breath. He's the one person I thought would never doubt me, and now…now I'm not so sure.

How could I blame him, though? Even I don't know what to think. All I know is that I would never willingly harm an innocent.

But what about the animal that lives within me?

No. I refuse to accept it!

Tears stream down my cheeks as they drag me, naked and shivering, from the room. "I would never hurt anyone!" I scream, my voice raw with desperation. "You have to believe me!"

But it's no use. Their minds are made up. I'm too dangerous to be free, too much of a threat. Once again, I'm being caged like an animal.

And this time, I'm not sure anyone is coming to let me out.

Or even if I deserve it freedom.