Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Barrett

"This is getting ridiculous, Chord." Jagger is pissed yet again. But that's become his new normal lately. I guess being Alpha is not all fun and games.

"How do you figure that I'm to blame, dammit?" I scowl as we jog in the direction of the small town where our family units are based.

"You brought her here. She's your responsibility."

"I brought her here? She's one of the Wildview wolves, Law. Your mate's family. If anyone should be responsible for her, it's you!" I'm an ass for saying it, but I'm starting to feel like a pinball being shot around a machine by a crazed toddler.

"You saying you don't want to help? I thought she was supposed to be your ‘mate,'" he scoffs. We're coming up to a red-brick building, and he's slowing his pace.

"No! Of course I want to help, for fuck's sake! I just don't see why I should be getting into shit over this. She can't help what's happening to her."

"Yeah. That's what I'm worrying about." Jagger is striding toward the building. I follow him as he heads through the entrance toward a stairwell, taking the stairs three at a time. When we reach the second floor, there's a blue door hanging ajar halfway down the hall. Jagger heads to it. Before we can get inside, we're met by a frazzled-looking Sybil.

"Alpha!" She dips her head in what appears to be a sort of curtsey. "I'm so sorry to impose this way."

Jagger waves a hand dismissively. "It's nothing." He brushes past her. "Where is she?"

Sybil points into the apartment. "Down the hall. First room on the left."

Jagger jerks his head at me. "Go on, then. Work your magic."

I scowl at him but don't respond. I'm already closing the distance to the door. When I get there, I can hear hoarse panting. I put my hand on the surface of the wood and pull in a deep breath.

"Cedara," I say softly. There's no response. "Cedara, it's Barrett."

Jagger has come up beside me. "What's she doing?"

"Dammit, how the fuck am I supposed to know? We just got here!" I turn my attention back to the door. "Cedara…can you hear me, beautiful?" The panting slows for a moment.

Jagger has stopped talking, but he's still hanging over my shoulder.

I look back at him. "Could I have some space here?"

He glares at me but backs off and stalks away. I'm dimly aware of him talking to the others.

"Cedara?" I keep my fingertips on the door as if I might be able to touch her through it. I don't think I'm entirely off track. I sense her right on the other side. She's on the floor. I drop to one knee, listening to her breathing. "I need you to move away from the door. I'm going to kick it in. I don't want to hurt you."

There's silence from the other side.

"Do you understand me, beautiful? I need to get in there with you."

There's a rustling sound and then the scrape of claws on the floorboards. I heave out a breath, then stand. I raise a booted foot and slam it into the door just below the doorknob with the full force of my weight. It doesn't take more than that. The wood splinters and shatters as the door flies inward. I rush straight in, then stop short as I catch sight of her cowering on the other side of a white-quilted bed. The pristine linen is stark against the gold of her pelt. But it's her eyes that capture me. They're filled with so much anguish that it rips at my gut.

I exhale a deep breath, trying not to feel deflated. I can see how much this is scaring her, and I hate it.

I lift a hand. Her eyes fix on it, then on me. "We're going to get through this, beautiful. It's going to be fine."

"What's going on? Is she shifting?" Jagger's right behind me. Cedara's head shoots up, and her hackles rise.

"Dammit, Law!" I can't believe how badly his timing sucks. "I've got this, okay? Just back off."

"Fine. But we need to talk." He leaves the room, and I'm left facing the wolf. With him gone, she calms a little.

I take a deep breath and kneel down in front of Cedara, meeting her intense amber gaze. "It's okay, beautiful. I know this is scary, but I need you to stay calm for me."

Her ears flatten against her head for a moment, but then she relaxes slightly, her eyes never leaving mine. I reach out slowly and let my hand hover just above her muzzle, not quite touching her. "That's it, just breathe. I'm going to go speak with Jagger, but I'll be right back. I'm not leaving you."

Cedara lets out a soft whine but doesn't move away from my hand. I give her a reassuring smile. "I'll only be a minute. Why don't you settle down beside the bed? I'll come sit with you until you feel better."

She watches me carefully as I rise to my feet and back away toward the door. I pause in the doorway and look back at her. She's still for a moment but then pads over to the side of the bed and curls up there, her eyes fixed on me. I can feel the weight of her stare even as I turn and head out into the living room.

Jagger is there with Sybil and the rest of Cedara's family. They all look worried, and I hold up a hand to stop their questions before they start. "She's okay for now. I'm going to stay with her until she calms down."

Jagger nods curtly. "We need to talk about what to do. But right now, I think everyone needs to get out of here." He glances at the rest of Cedara's family, who've become uncharacteristically quiet.

Sierra moves to his side. "Are you sure, my love? I mean, we've just got back together and…"

He puts a fingertip to her lips. "It's safest this way, Sierra. You know I can't have you in danger." He rests his hand on her belly. Her eyes widen in understanding.

"You think she's a danger?" Sierra looks stricken. "To us?"

"I'm not taking any chances." His jaw is tight. "She attacked the doctor. She would have turned on Casey. Who knows what she's capable of?"

Savannah has stepped up beside her. "What are you talking about, Jagger? Are you trying to tell us we can't trust our own cousin? She's family!"

"And so are those babies." He drops his eyes to the little bundles she has clasped in each arm. "Would you risk them just to be around when she turns again?"

Savannah's face blanches. She cradles the babies tighter. "I… I…" She licks her lips and shakes her head.

The others murmur amongst themselves, clearly unnerved.

"It's just a short-term measure," Jagger reassures them. "Until we understand things better. I'm sure that it will all be resolved soon. She just needs to settle in."

"We need to listen to the Alpha, family," Allard is saying. "He's right. Let her have her peace. This has been a trying time for her."

Sybil heaves a sigh. "I really wish our first night could have been together. But tomorrow will be better, I'm sure of it. I'll see you out," she says, heading to the door.

Jagger stops her. "I would like you to go with them, Sybil." His expression remains firm when she turns anxious eyes to him.

"What?"

"I'd like you to stay with Allard and Juliette for a while. Until we know what's going on."

"Please, Alpha, let me stay with her," Sybil pleads. "She's my little girl. I can help calm her."

Jagger shakes his head firmly. "I don't think that's a good idea right now. We don't know what's causing this reaction. For your own safety, it's best if you give her some space."

Sybil's eyes blaze with maternal fury. "You can't keep me from my own daughter!"

The room falls tense and silent. I can sense the others shifting uncomfortably, not wanting to get between the Alpha and the furious mother wolf.

Jagger meets Sybil's glare steadily. "I'm not trying to keep you apart permanently. But for now, Cedara needs some peace and quiet to get through this. Barrett will stay with her."

At the mention of my name, all eyes turn toward me. I keep my reaction neutral, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with Jagger's words.

Sybil opens her mouth, clearly gearing up for another objection. But Jagger cuts her off. "We've found a place nearby for the rest of the family to stay. There's room for you there as well."

"But…" Sybil falters, her anger deflating slightly in the face of Jagger's firm alpha presence.

He places a hand on her shoulder. "Trust me on this, Sybil. Let Barrett handle it for now."

For a long moment, Sybil looks like she might still argue. But finally, some of the fight goes out of her, and she nods reluctantly. "All right, Alpha. I'll go. But you'd better let me see her soon."

Jagger gives her shoulder a squeeze. "You have my word."

With that, the tension in the room dissipates. Sybil turns and joins the rest of the family as they file out of the apartment. She shoots me a lingering look over her shoulder. I don't know if it's resentment of resignation I see there.

Once they're gone, Jagger turns to me with a heavy sigh. "Well, that could have gone worse, I suppose."

I arch an eyebrow at him. "You knew she'd fight you on it."

He shrugs unapologetically. "She needs to understand this isn't a negotiation. The pack's safety comes first. And they're part of my pack now. She's a threat I have to protect them from."

I mull over his words and the implications behind them. Where does that leave Cedara?

With the others gone, a stillness settles over the apartment. I can hear Cedara's soft breathing from the other room, a reminder of the fragile situation we're dealing with.

"This is a fuck-up, Chord," Jagger gets straight to the point. "She lost it right here, surrounded by children…babies…" He shakes his head. "That antidote was supposed to make sure this wouldn't happen."

"It might just need more time to work." I press my lips together. "She was forced into her wolf form for months. That can't be fixed in one day."

"Sure," he says. "But I can't risk everyone else while we give her time to get over this. I want you here with her. You don't take your eyes off her, do you understand?"

"You mean…like some sort of babysitter?" My eyes narrow.

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you don't want to spend more time with her. She's your mate, remember?"

I search his face for some sign that he's mocking me. I see none. "It's not supposed to be like this, Law. You're making me her jailer. She just got through that kind of hell. Don't make me put her through it again."

"Not her jailer, Chord. Her protector." He lifts an eyebrow. "You don't want to protect her?"

"Yes. I do."

"Then do it. Because right now, it's either you looking after her, or we find a place to contain her." His expression has grown grim.

"Contain her?" I can't believe what I'm hearing. I'm sure I've misunderstood.

"You know what I mean, Chord. Don't make me lock her up."

"Fuck!" I bark the word because the very thought of it makes me sick. "After what they did to her, you'd do it again?"

"No. Because you're going to protect her."

"You're damn right I am. I just never thought it would have to be from you."

He shrugs. "I'm not here to win popularity contests. My pack comes first."

"Fine. Whatever. I'll do it." Of course I will. That was never in question. I'm just balking at him saying that she might be dangerous to others.

Maybe she is?

No! I refuse to believe that.

Jagger claps me on the shoulder as if we'd just had a casual catch-up. "Good. I'll leave you to it then. Call me if anything changes."

I watch him go, feeling the weight of responsibility settling onto my shoulders. Whether she knows it or not, Cedara is my mate, for better or worse. And right now, she needs me.

Drawing a steadying breath, I turn and head back into the bedroom, feeling the pull to return to Cedara's side. I close the splintered door behind me as best I can. Cedara is right where I left her, golden fur rising and falling slowly with each breath. As soon as I'm inside, her ears perk up, and she lifts her head to watch me.

I settle myself on the floor, leaning back against the bed beside her. "There, see? I told you I'd be right back."

She huffs a breath. I smile into her soulful eyes. "This is starting to become a habit, huh?"

She cocks her head.

"Maybe it's time we stopped sitting on the floor, though." I look around us. "If this goes the same way as the last couple of times, you'll shift once you're resting." I stand, and she watches me. I sit on the bed, kicking off my boots, then pat the mattress beside me as I settle back against the plump pillows.

She makes a whining sound.

"You're not a pet, Cedara. You're allowed on the furniture." I smile to lighten the mood. She makes another huffing sound, then hops onto the mattress. It dips deep beneath her weight as she settles at my side, resting her head over my breastbone. The movement comes so naturally that it makes me warm inside. I curl an arm around her neck and stroke the silky fur over the top of her head. I keep up the soothing, steady motion until I hear her breath begin to grow slow and deep.

Then it happens. Her body trembles and then stiffens. The golden fur begins to melt away, her limbs shrinking in on themselves. Suddenly, I'm looking down at the woman. My lips tilt up at the sight of her. It doesn't matter how often I've looked down at her like this, she always takes my breath away.

I watch her rest like that for a while. Sweet. Peaceful. Until she pulls in a deep breath and tips her head back. Her eyes are hazy when they meet mine.

"It happened again," she whispers. Her throat works as she swallows hard.

"It's okay. You came back." I brush a golden wave from her face.

"It's not okay." She fights down a little sob. "I couldn't stop it, Barrett."

"But you will. It'll just take a bit of time before you can handle it, that's all. You've been through so much." I cup her cheek.

She squeezes her eyes shut and then looks up at me again. "God." Her voice is hoarse. "You must… You must think I'm a monster!"

"I think that you're perfect, Cedara." My thumb traces her cheekbone. She's still staring up at me with eyes that I could drown in. I lower my head, my hand angling her head slightly as I graze my lips over hers. "Absolutely perfect," I whisper. She sucks in a breath before my mouth closes over hers.

And then I'm kissing her. Kissing her with a tenderness that surprises even me. Her lips are soft and yielding beneath mine, and I explore their shape with a gentleness that borders on reverence. This moment feels sacred, fragile, like something that needs to be handled with care.

I savor the silky warmth of her mouth, the faint taste of honey on her lips. My hand cups her jaw, holding her to me as I deepen the kiss slightly. She makes a soft sound in the back of her throat, one of surprise and pleasure mingled, and the vibration sends a shiver through me.

When I finally pull back, just enough to look into her eyes, I see the glistening tracks of tears on her cheeks. A lump forms in my own throat at the naked emotion shining in her amber-flecked gaze. So much longing, so much pain…it breaks my fucking heart.

I lean in again, brushing my lips in feather-light kisses along the damp paths on her cheeks. I taste the salt of her tears, and it only makes me more determined to kiss them all away, to chase every last shadow from her eyes until all that's left is the light I know she carries inside.

My lips trail across the curve of her cheekbone, down to the corner of her mouth, where I linger for a heartbeat. Then I'm kissing away the dampness on her other cheek, each brush of my mouth an unspoken vow to keep her safe. When I've erased every last tear, I pull back just enough to look into her eyes again.

"No more tears, beautiful," I murmur. "You're not a monster. You're my mate. And I will always protect you."