Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

“ Y our Grace,” I said and went down on one knee to greet him, once again in the grave-like room, with him in the same spot as before.

Did he ever leave this place? Go anywhere else in the palace?

Vengeance, who’d lain at his feet, jumped up to greet me with slobbering tongues.

“Down, girl,” I whispered and tried in vain to keep her away from my face.

Lucifer snapped his fingers, and Venny trotted back over to him.

“It’s time.” He bade me to stand again with an impatient gesture. “You will begin your search in?—”

Breaking off mid-sentence, he stilled, his black eyes narrowing on me. With fluid grace, he rose from his seat and was in front of me a second later. His hand shot out to grasp my throat, tilting my head up a little.

My eyes widened at the sudden move, my heart galloping wildly at the undercurrent of violence in his hold. Despite the rational knowledge that he wouldn’t—couldn’t—hurt me, my lizard brain still expected to feel the lash of pain, interpreting the aggression in his energy as an imminent threat.

I would always flinch when he raised a hand to me.

“What did you do?” he said with a low growl.

“W-what do you mean?”

“This.” He tilted my head this way and that, leaning in to sniff at me. “You smell of him.”

“Uh…” I swallowed, the muscles of my throat working underneath the press of his fingers.

Was he really asking me why he smelled Azazel on me? Like, wasn’t it obvious that we’d had sex? And did he not think this was going to happen when he allowed me to see him? I was so confused.

“So, this is awkward,” I began. “I mean, given your age and experience and general reputation, I thought you knew all about the birds and the bees. You know…the…when…” I grimaced. “Don’t make me say it out loud.” When he kept staring at me with barely leashed aggression, I blurted, “We had sex and he came in me. That’s what you’re smelling, okay? Ugh, now I want to take a shower. I feel so slimy having to say that in front of you…”

“Not that,” he bit out. “It goes beyond that.”

My brows drew together, but then the thought hit me, and my eyes shot wide. The bond.

“It is like he has a claim on you,” Lucifer snarled.

A whimper escaped me. Oops. Maybe we should have considered the proprietary ramifications of bonding like this. Did Azazel’s claim on me now override Lucifer’s? Did he just steal me from right under his nose?

“How?” Lucifer’s fingers dug into my throat.

“We, uh, we bonded, Your Grace.” I could feel my pulse pound against his grasp around my neck. “Like, he bit me, I bit him, we drank each other’s blood, which was hot in the moment, but I gotta admit that now I’m a little weirded out by it… I mean, when I was a hormonal teenager reading vampire romance, I thought a blood bond like that was sexy and cool and romantic, but I never thought I’d actually ever do anything of the sort in my life—I’m a vegetarian! I don’t even eat meat. But there I was chugging down his blood like it was fresh orange juice?—”

Lucifer covered my mouth with his free hand and closed his eyes, his features pinched.

After a moment, he let me go, rubbing his temple as if to alleviate a headache. “You soul-bonded him.”

“Uh, yes. I guess.”

He studied me from head to toe, and I fidgeted under his regard.

“Well,” he said tonelessly, “at the very least, it made you stronger. That will be an advantage for you down here.”

I blinked, taken aback. Both by what he’d said and the fact that he seemed so civil about it.

“You’re not mad?” Gah, maybe I shouldn’t have asked that. What a leading question… I should learn to play my cards closer to the vest.

His black eyes glittered. “His claim does not supersede mine. You are still in my service. All it does is tie you together on a soul level, and I don’t care about that as long as it doesn’t interfere with your task.”

“It won’t,” I rushed to say. “I’ll still be a good little bloodhound, no worries.” Then I remembered the interesting piece of information he’d just thrown me. “You said it made me stronger?”

He lazily waved at me. “You’re on par with a seraph now.”

“What?” I gaped at him, my eyes so wide they threatened to roll out of my head.

“You bonded with an archdemon. What did you expect? You were a cherub before, and the shared power from the bond pulled you up a rank, given how strong Azazel is.”

My mouth hung open, my brain struggling to catch up and process. First of all, a seraph ? Holy shit.

Secondly, did Lucifer just say something positive about Azazel? I furtively glanced around, prepared to see pigs flying.

I shook my head and focused again. “Wait, about the cherub thing. How did that even happen? I was a throne back in Heaven, newly promoted, to boot. Then I enter Hell, and boom—I’m a cherub. That seems like a big jump without me doing anything.”

He sighed as if belabored by having to explain this. “Rank responds to inherent power as well as outside forces. You had the potential in you, and the transformation to demon likely catalyzed it.” He sent me an annoyed glance. “Demons climb the hierarchy all the time.”

“But—this quickly?” I flailed. “I heard it often takes years, decades, even centuries!”

“Well, aren’t you a special snowflake, then?”

I ground my teeth and clenched my hands into fists so I wouldn’t show him a special hand gesture.

His gaze lay heavy on me, his energy pulsing ominously. “Her power in you might be helping you along.”

I sucked in a breath. That kernel of Lilith’s power…the gift that kept on giving, in the best way possible. My eyes burned as I whispered, “She said she hoped it would ease my path. That it would give me strength before my years.”

He was silent for a long, aching moment, the darkness in the corners of the room spilling sorrow like blood from cut veins. When he finally spoke, his voice held the kind of raw anguish that sliced open hearts. “She succeeded.”

My next breath was half a sob. To think…I stood here, with this incredibly generous gift of hers a glow in my soul, benefiting from her kindness while she had been wiped from existence. I was here, alive and well, cradling her power inside me. And she was just gone.

It’s not fair.

“Agreed,” Lucifer ground out.

With a start, I realized I’d spoken the last part out loud. My tear-clouded gaze shot back to him.

“You will find her for me.” He looked grief-ravaged once more, his features, his energy, his posture, all giving the impression he was holding on to sanity with blood-dripping fingers and a half-shredded will. “You will bring her back.”

The sheer, unmitigated pain emanating from him and my own freshly triggered grief about her passing almost made me want to promise that I would indeed find her.

The words stalled on my tongue. For how could I promise that? All odds were stacked against that search being successful.

But I would damn sure still try .

“I’ll give it my best,” I said hoarsely, and I meant it.

“See that you do.” He returned to his seat and summoned a glass of amrit. “You’ll start the search in New York City. Canvass the entire metro area and move outward from there. I suggest you think of a system of searching and keeping track of where you’ve been already. And make it one that is rational and follows a plan. I don’t want you to aimlessly go back and forth like a confused vacuum robot.”

I blinked at him. “You know what a vacuum robot is?”

“I am not some troglodyte, girl.”

“It’s just”—I waved at him—“you haven’t been to Earth in, like, forever, and it seemed like you abhor any modern technological advances humans have come up with.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t know what those modern technological advances are.”

“But how? Do you have subscriptions to tech magazines? Do you get your demons to fetch you the latest issue of Science ?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and heaved a sigh. “How does he tolerate you?”

“Azazel? Well, he tried to ignore me at first, but that didn’t go so well, and then I think he just kind of surrendered and let me grow on him. Like a fungus.”

For the briefest moment, I thought I saw unbidden amusement lighten his eyes before his features were dark and brooding once more. “You will have to canvass the more populated areas slower and more thoroughly. Make sure you mingle in crowds or fly closely over them. Take special care to check the places where humans store their children.”

“You mean like schools and daycares?”

“Yes. Those.” He made a dismissive gesture.

“Do demons not have schools?”

“What would we fill them with?” Lucifer asked me pointedly. He waved in a big circle. “The manifold children of our kind?”

I scrunched up my face. Come to think of it, I had yet to see a single demon child. In my entire year down here before I ascended, I hadn’t met any kids, not even adolescents.

“We are not like humans,” he said with a bit of a sneer, “to reproduce at the rate that mortality demands. When you have a race whose individual members can live for eons, would you think it wise to bestow upon them the fertility seen in shorter-lived species?”

“Probably not,” I murmured.

“God may have been wrong about many a thing,” he said, swirling the content of his glass, “but in this, there is reason.”

Wait, was I actually having a nontoxic conversation with Lucifer, and one where he showed signs of rational thinking? And he hadn’t threatened or insulted me in more than five minutes. I’d call that a win.

“Haniel will be your escort,” he said, bringing the topic back to my mission. “He’s waiting for you at the New York gate. Gilarion will lead you there. Take these.”

He snapped his fingers, and a table loaded with weapons appeared.

I raised my brows. “Do you expect me to be attacked?”

“None of my demons go to Earth unarmed.” Black fire flared in his eyes. “That has always been true, and even more so now.”

I pressed my lips tightly together. Yeah, I could see that. If I were him, I wouldn’t trust anyone anymore.

Without another word, I took the weapons. Two short swords, perfectly balanced for my height and weight, a small crossbow that I could strap to my thigh, and about half a dozen daggers with sheaths that I fastened to any available limb.

Finished, I lifted my gaze and cleared my throat. “May I visit my loved ones on Earth, Your Grace?”

Why not take a chance to ask him again? He’d been in a permissive mood earlier.

“No. Focus on the search.” He tapped his fingers on the armrest of his chair. “For now.”

Wrestling my anger down, I latched on to that small sliver of hope. I’d gotten him to make a concession for me once already. Azazel was surely right—I would be able to squeeze more out of Lucifer. I just had to be strategic and smart about it.

“Yes, Your Grace,” I said and bowed deeply.

With a last look at my hound, who currently sported a wide doggie grin on all three of her heads while she enjoyed Lucifer scratching her ears, I turned and walked out.

Gilarion gave me a deep bow and led me through the hallways.

Just before we left the private wing, I had the misfortune to run into Samael, yet again. I inwardly cringed when I spotted him a few paces away, this time without his cronies as company. Wanting to avoid any contact with him, I swerved to give him a wide berth—the corridor was certainly big enough to let me skirt around him with ample space—but he had the audacity to snatch my arm and bring me to a stop.

Gilarion halted as well, shifting his weight while looking to the side. No help coming from that dude.

I raised my brows and ostentatiously lowered my gaze to where Samael’s hand was wrapped around my elbow.

“If I were you,” I said, lifting my chin to look him in the eye, “I’d remove that hand, unless you’d like your father to remove it for you. With a blade.”

Safe to say I was fully banking on being able to wield Lucifer’s vested interest in me remaining unharmed like a weapon in these halls.

Samael’s red-tinged gaze bore into me. “I am not hurting you.”

“What part of ‘She is not to be touched’ did you not understand?” I asked with bared teeth.

He tilted his head, his silver-white hair sliding over his shoulder. “See, I don’t think that is to be taken literally. You have my nephew’s scent all over you?—”

I remembered with a wince that this creep was actually Azazel’s uncle. Ugh, this family.

“So, clearly, you are not off-limits,” Samael continued. “It would surprise me if my father were to be territorial with you. He’s never been possessive about his lovers.”

I almost threw up in my mouth. No joke, I actually gagged. The revulsion from imagining what Samael had just suggested was just too overwhelming.

“I’m not his—” I couldn’t even say it. The yuck is strong with this one. “We’re not”—I flailed with my free arm—“together.”

Ugh, a full-body shiver of the gross kind took hold of me.

“Oh?” Cold curiosity glinted in those creepy eyes of his. “He has personally claimed you, granted you his direct protection, and given you a suite in the private wing of the palace, right next to his own.”

What? Lucifer’s quarters were that close to mine? What the what?

“How am I to interpret that, other than obvious favoritism due to him being taken with you?” He cocked a dark silver brow. “He hasn’t shown interest in anyone since Lady Lilith was murdered, so naturally, I am intrigued by the one who has caught his attention after all this time.” He gave me a smile that was likely meant to be charming.

All it did was make my skin crawl.

“I am not involved with him like that,” I said with emphasis. “And you’d better take your fingers off me right now.”

His smile sharpened. “Or what?”

I stared at him with simmering hatred and the scorching heat of indignation. How dare he keep his paw on me when I’d made it abundantly clear I didn’t want him to touch me? How dare he make me feel small and inconsequential, like his rank and strength entitled him to run roughshod over my boundaries?

I’d had it with arrogant demon bastards throwing their weight around.

Time to check that fucking ego.

Inside me, my power rolled and thundered like a brewing storm. That newly jacked-up power, infused with the strength of an archdemon.

Bet he has no idea I’ve got that in me.

I purposefully let my lower lip tremble as I allowed the anger I felt to fill my eyes with the hot threat of tears. “Or I’ll cry,” I sniffled, laying it on thick with the acting.

Samael’s shoulders relaxed as he threw his head back to laugh.

Which was the precise moment I struck.

With a roar, I unleashed the raw power brimming inside me. It erupted in a blinding firestorm of epic proportions.

I’d only meant to shove Samael off me and maybe make him stumble a bit.

What I did was blast him clean through the opposite wall, which crumbled in a deafening crash. The floor shook, cracks spreading outward from where I stood. The ceiling above the wall through which I’d catapulted Samael caved in, the upper level of the palace came down amid billows of dust, and the ensuing rubble sealed the opening in the crumbled wall.

Oops.

I grimaced. Holy crap. That had been a bit more power than I’d meant to use.

“Well,” I said and pivoted on the balls of my feet to face Gilarion, who stared at me with a slightly horrified expression. “We should get to the gate before Rubble Boy digs his way out, don’t you think?” I speed-walked past him, my heart beating a mile a minute. “Chop-chop!”

Gilarion hurried to catch up, and together we all but jogged to the gate. No sense in waiting for Samael to come after me. I had no idea if he’d try, or whether the explosive demonstration of my strength just now would make him keep his distance.

Usually, little spats like this were common but negligible occurrences among demons. The strict hierarchy and social rules served as guidelines and actually prevented a lot of fights, but every so often, demons liked to check if the ranks needed adjusting.

Plus, in order to deal with grievances, violence was used as often as diplomacy. Sometimes, a bit of posturing and snarling sufficed, much like in packs of predators. Commonly, though, there’d be little fights, and as long as no one died, “Anything goes” was the motto.

Samael had provoked me, and I’d put him in his place. Things could go either way from here. He might take the loss and accept me as an equal due to the power I’d displayed. Or he could take my show of strength as a challenge and the fact that I’d dared to clap back at him as a personal insult, and then decide to come at me again to thoroughly defeat me and make it clear that he was stronger.

I didn’t know him well enough to guess which way he would lean.

We’d arrived at the gate, where Haniel waited as instructed. Gilarion took his leave, and I cheerfully waved at Haniel, who glowered at me in turn.

This would be fun.

He powered up the gate, and we stepped through.

This time around, it was night as I set foot in New York again. The gate was the same we’d used that fateful day of Lilith’s murder, obviously, and it spat me out in the same spot, right where everything had gone down.

I wasn’t prepared for the lash of trauma that hit me.

My lungs seized, my breath stuck in my throat, and my limbs trembled as my eyes swept the area. Familiar, and yet not, for the landscape had changed considerably. The buildings were new. Some of them shorter, others taller, than what had stood here before.

They would have had to rebuild everything.

As my gaze tracked over the surroundings, memories from eight years ago overlaid what I saw in flashes of pain. Phantom flames licked over the trees. The ghosts of hellhounds chased screaming people through the street. The flutter of hundreds of wings filled the air, amid the scent of smoke and blood. I could taste ash on my tongue, hear the clang of weapons, the screech of tires.

I was so caught in the visceral recollection of that day long past that Haniel’s hand on my shoulder made me whirl around and nearly plant a dagger in his chest. He blocked me at the last second.

“Whoa!” he said and raised his hands in a placating gesture. “No need to stab me. I was talking to you, but you seemed zoned out, so I tapped you on the shoulder.”

“Sorry,” I muttered and sheathed my dagger again. “This place brings up bad memories.”

He regarded me for a moment, then nodded. “Right. You were there that day.”

“Unfortunately,” I said with a sigh.

My gaze flicked to the spot on the sidewalk where the angels had attacked Lilith. I swore I could still see the glint of the blade in the sunshine as the lead angel swung the sword for her neck.

I shivered and turned away, my heart clenching.

Behind us, the New York Public Library rose, its facade lit up in the night. They’d rebuilt it, too, and apparently they’d stuck to the original design. It looked as if it hadn’t ever been destroyed.

Cars drove past on the street, the sound of honking echoing over. Late-night pedestrians hurried down the sidewalk, and a bus was just turning the corner. The streetlamps bathed everything in perfectly ordinary light.

My brain couldn’t quite make sense of how remarkably normal this scene was. How everyone here was just going about their day—or night—and how this world had somehow kept moving.

Such resilience. This capacity to bounce back from disaster and tragedy. Half of New York had been wrecked eight years ago. And yet here they were, the people, the city, looking for all the world like they’d never experienced the near apocalypse.

Somehow, to me, it seemed like it had only happened yesterday.

Was this what immortality was like? To have no sense of time any longer?

With another sigh, I turned to Haniel again. “All right, first off, I need a map.”

“A map?” He raised both brows.

“Yeah, so I can mark the areas I’ve searched already.” I squinted at him. “How much do you know about what I’m doing here?”

“His Grace told me, under an oath of silence. You’re looking for her reincarnation.” He jerked his chin at me. “You can speak freely.”

“Great, this will make things easier.” Clapping my hands together, I said, “Let’s pilfer an old-school paper map!”

I spread my wings, making an oblivious human passing us do a weird impromptu evasive maneuver to not collide with my feathers. Of course, the guy had no idea why he’d just done a slalom dance, since we were still invisible to him and anyone else.

Lifting my eyes to the dark sky as I prepared to take flight, I inhaled the scent of the city, and it hit me then, the fact that I had all five of my senses now, that I could experience Earth through smell and touch and taste in addition to sight and sound—for the first time since that night I’d followed Azazel to Hell.

Out of all the advantages that being a demon gave me in my new life, this might be one of my faves.

“Let’s go,” I said to Haniel, and then I launched myself into the air with a vertical takeoff that came as easy as breathing.