Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

W ith a wince, I looked around us for the first time since coming down from the high of our pleasure sesh.

The room lay in ruins.

Fire licked over the furnishings, eating at the tapestries. The table had collapsed underneath us, partially charred and broken, and we were currently lounging on the ashy rubble of it. More cracks split the walls than what I’d seen when I’d entered. The chandelier that had previously still hung, albeit a bit limply, had fallen and shattered on the floor.

Azazel grimaced as he looked around. “He’s going to have a fit when he realizes we wrecked his dining room.”

“Lucifer?” I scoffed. “Have you seen the rest of the palace? This is par for the course. He probably won’t even realize there’s more destruction here than before.”

His voice grew somber. “I noticed the decay when I walked through the halls. I’d heard rumors…” He shook his head. “Seems the state of his palace reflects the condition of his mind.”

“Yeah, he seems very much depressed.”

“I’m surprised he actually let you come here.” He raised a brow. “He didn’t appear particularly inclined to grant my request when I petitioned him earlier. I thought he was going to leave me standing here waiting for you for hours before eventually telling me to fuck off.”

“That was his plan, initially.” I pointed a finger at him and squinted one eye.

“Oh?” He tilted his head, boyish curiosity in his expression. “What changed his mind?”

“Uh…probably my yelling at him.”

“What?” He sat half up, his hands on my hips, the relaxation on his face giving way to alarm. The echo of his shock pinged through me.

I worried my lip between my teeth. “Yeah, so I might have called him a dick and told him Lilith would be disappointed in him if he didn’t let me see you.”

“And you walked out of there with your head on your shoulders?” His disbelief was almost comical. “ And he relented and listened to you?”

I shrugged with my hands in the air. “What can I say? I can be persuasive.”

“Well, hell.” He stared into the distance. “If I’d known yelling at him would make him less of an asshole…”

I snickered, then sobered. “No, but for real, I had no idea he’d listen. The whole yelling thing was me losing my shit. It wasn’t planned. And considering the fact that he still sort of holds the fate of my father’s soul over my head, I really, absolutely, shouldn’t have talked back to him like that. He could have just as easily slapped me down by promising to hurt my dad for my insolence.” My stomach soured at the thought, at how much I’d lost control and not considered the consequences for my dad. “But then he just…deflated, kind of. Like all the fight went out of him.”

I quickly recounted the argument and what I’d said to Lucifer about Lilith.

“I told him that he could honor her faith in him,” I finished, “and then he just let me go.”

Azazel studied me with stormy eyes, his emotions unreadable. “You are very lucky. He has decapitated demons for far less.”

“Well, he kind of needs me alive and well, so any beheading or maiming is out of the question, I guess.”

He gave me a probing look. “What does he want with you? Mephistopheles was vague when he delivered your message.”

“I told him to be vague. Strictly speaking, I’m not allowed to tell anyone, but—” I halted Azazel’s impending protest with a raised hand. “I am not under another vow of silence. Lucifer dropped the ball on that one. I mean, he must know that unless he gags me with an oath, I’ll tell you everything that’s going on! Really, he can’t fault me for this. He only has himself to blame.”

“Impeccable logic,” Azazel murmured with a soft smile.

“Anyway, the thing he needs me for is finding Lilith’s reincarnation on Earth.”

He blinked, opened his mouth, and then closed it again. He stared at me in utter bewilderment for a moment before saying, “That’s impossible.”

“I know!” I flailed wildly. “I told him! But apparently he is convinced that a) Lilith was actually reincarnated on Earth like a demon would be, and b) that the spark of her power inside me will somehow act like a homing beacon and respond to her reincarnation when I get near her. So now he’s ordered me to spend three weeks roaming Earth like a bona fide bloodhound trying to sniff out Lilith’s soul, then spend a week down here to recharge, after which I’ll have to go on my next three-week shift, playing GPS tracker, and so forth, until I find her.”

Azazel’s eyes were wide as he obviously processed what I’d just told him. “This is madness.”

“That’s what I said!” I made more flamboyant hand gestures to underscore my point. “He’s clearly lost it. He is so set on finding her again, and I tried to break it to him that it’s an unrealistic endeavor, but there’s no getting through to him on this topic. And, honestly, I’m afraid to keep pushing the point, because what if he indeed realizes that his plan is absurd and he accepts the fact that he’ll never have Lilith again? What will that do to him? If this”—I waved around me to indicate the palace and its sad state of neglect—“is him with the hope of finding her and bringing her back into his life, how much worse will he get if he loses all hope? He’s already one step away from a full-blown depressive explosion. I don’t want to imagine what will happen to him—and by extension all of Hell, and us—if the one thing that’s been holding him together the past years goes truly poof.”

Azazel’s expression was grim. “He does seem precariously unstable. I’ve been more privy to upper-level politics since working my way up toward and then becoming archdemon, and the things I’ve heard… He hasn’t been taking care of his territory. His security has been slipping. There are a number of day-to-day dealings that he should be involved in and make decisions about, but he’s been delegating more and more, or rather, he has not attended necessary functions and meetings, and his lieutenants have been scrambling to pick up the slack. Usually, there would be regular conferences with him and all the archdemons to discuss matters of importance to the upper echelon. The few I’ve participated in since becoming archdemon were held without Lucifer. He simply stayed away, and he didn’t even send a proxy.”

I grimaced. “That confirms what I’ve been seeing here. I’ve only been in the palace for a day or so, but that was enough to get the feeling that he’s been neglecting more than just the repairs of this building. Apparently, he doesn’t even have advisers anymore? A council of demons who can discuss issues of importance with him? He seems to have killed or imprisoned more than half of them, and the last one quit and hightailed it out of here.”

Azazel rubbed a hand over his face. “And with Lilith gone, he’s lost the one voice of reason that would keep him in line. She held him together.”

“And now imagine if he loses the last sliver of hope that he’ll get her back,” I said quietly. Shaking my head, I added, “Which is why, as insane as it is, I’ll have to go and actually search for her. I mean, he ordered me to, and I have to obey him, so I don’t have a choice anyway, but even without coercion, I’d do it. I don’t want to risk telling him outright that his plan is doomed to fail.”

Azazel ruminated on that for a moment, his features drawn tight. Inside me, his concern pinged and heightened my own anxiety.

“What are you thinking?” I finally asked.

“That you’re right.”

I laid my hand over my heart. “Oh! Such high praise! Wait, I’ll have to record this for posterity.” I summoned a pen and paper that I’d seen lying around my suite earlier. “My beloved boo actually admits that I’m right. This is an event to be noted in the annals of my life. Let me just?—”

He shut me up with one hand over my mouth, his eyes dancing with humor. With his free hand, he took my writing tools from me. “You are not to speak of this to anyone. Can’t let you ruin my reputation.”

I giggled but quickly grew somber again, given the gravity of the things we were discussing.

“I think you’re right in your assessment of Lucifer’s mental state,” he said, removing his hand. “Confronting him with the fact that his search for Lilith will be in vain will only make him spiral more. And the last thing we all need is a ruler of Hell who is stumbling. As much as I despise him, he serves a purpose. He’s kept Hell more or less peaceful for thousands of years, by virtue of his strength and reputation. If his grasp on power is starting to falter, it will open the door for those who would overthrow him.” His stormy eyes met mine, lightning in their depths. “And if they succeed, it would spark an open war. If one of the archdemons makes a move, the other ones will want a shot at the throne as well, and at present, they’re all rather evenly matched.”

My stomach cramped with fear. “That means a long, drawn-out war.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, so I’ll be playing Lucifer’s GPS-tracking bloodhound for the foreseeable future… You know this means I’ll have to be on Earth for three weeks in a row each month? I’ll only be down here for one week before I need to resume the search. And…” I played with the trimmed hair on his chest, my gaze on my fingers. “I don’t know if this small win I had today with getting him to let me see you will apply to future meetings. He also said you’re not allowed to join me on Earth.”

His hand came around the nape of my neck, warm and strong and reassuring. “This won’t be the last time we’ll see each other.” Unshakable conviction in his voice. “No matter what, we’ll find a way to be together. We’ll steal time if we have to. I can be sneaky.”

Oh, Lord, his insouciant grin did wicked things to my insides.

“And besides, you convinced him to let me see you once already,” Azazel continued. “I’m confident you can do so again.” His grip tightened on my neck. “Use whatever influence you have over him. Play him, trick him, bully him with Lilith’s memory if you must. I condone any unscrupulous behavior on your part. You are resourceful and headstrong, and I have no doubt you can get him to allow you greater freedom.”

I pursed my lips, amusement fluttering in my chest. “You want me to be unscrupulous?”

“You’re a demon now, love.” He leaned in until his nose almost touched mine, his energy whirring in the space between us. “Act like one.”

I grinned at his play on the words he’d spoken to me back in Heaven, when he’d trained me. You’re an angel now. Act like one.

It seemed like a lifetime had passed since that moment, though it had only been a few days. So much had changed in such a short amount of time. I’d gone through a fundamental transformation, being ripped from one reality and shoved into another. At the thought of how exactly all of that had gone down, the amusement inside me soured, and the smile slipped off my face.

His brows drew together. “What is it?”

How could I phrase this? How should I give him the news that his own mother had gone behind his back and sabotaged my fall in order to deliver me to Lucifer?

My heart hurt imagining Azazel’s reaction.

“Tell me.” A gentle command.

“The reason I fell so early,” I began in a tentative voice, “and why you didn’t know to be there to claim me…” I paused and swallowed, my throat dry. “It was Naamah. She gave me up to the authorities. She didn’t wait for me to be able to find my mom, even though I’d told her all about it and explained that I needed more time. We’d agreed that I’d search for my mom first and then I’d surrender myself when I was ready, but she just went ahead and told on me right after I’d freed you. Just before I was banished, she came to say goodbye and apologized. She said, ‘I’m sorry, but I promised him. I owe him that much.’ I didn’t know who she meant at first, but when this demon claimed me for Lucifer, I realized she must have been angling for this all along, setting things up to make me fall at a time when Lucifer could claim me instead of you.”

Azazel closed his eyes, his features drawn. Inside me, the hot poker of betrayal stabbed my heart, an echo of his feelings.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, stroking my fingers through his hair, desperate to soothe him. “I’m sorry she did this to you.”

“Me?” He opened his eyes, thunderclouds slashed by lightning. “What about you? She stole your chance to say goodbye to your mother.” He clenched his teeth so hard that several muscles feathered along his jaw. “I can’t believe she’d be so callous.”

My eyes burned hot, and I had trouble breathing. “I know. I thought—I thought she was my friend.” My voice cracked a little at the emotion behind those simple words.

He looked to the side, his nostrils flaring. The surge of raging-hot anger and hurt that pinged in my chest belied his rather calm response. It was fascinating to now have the insight into what he was feeling and juxtapose it with his outward reaction. He was holding so much back, his control over his expression and actions iron-clad.

“I am sorry,” he said after a moment, those emotions inside him still roiling, evident in the echo I felt. “I believed her affection for you to be genuine. I was convinced she was truly invested in helping me get to you and eventually manage to bring you back to Hell.”

“For what it’s worth,” I muttered, “I do think she was interested in helping you get to me. I feel like her intentions were benign for as long as the goal of assisting you to infiltrate Heaven and get close to me aligned with the ultimate goal of making sure Lucifer could claim me. But then at the end, when she had to make a choice between her actions benefiting you or Lucifer, she chose him.”

The disappointment that lapped over from him made my heart clench. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him, enfolding him in a hug. I’m sorry , I said again, this time without words.

He didn’t deserve this, to have his own mother turn on him like that. He’d been hurt so much already in his life, had seen his family break apart—his father abandoning him, his mother lost to madness. He’d lived through humiliation and abuse at Lucifer’s court and had since clawed his way up the hierarchy, hardening himself and crafting emotional armor to repel any future slights.

That he’d retained the capacity to genuinely love, to open his heart again for others, was nothing short of a miracle.

And now his mom, with whom he’d just formed a cordial relationship again after millennia of believing her dead, had chosen to betray his trust.

I wanted to smash something to pieces to channel the fury I felt on his behalf.

He drew back and peered at me. “That is quite a violent emotion I’m picking up from you. And you look like you’re ready to raze entire nations.”

“Well,” I said grimly, “I guess you might be onto something with your habit of destroying rooms in anger.”

The hint of a smile shimmered through his somber mien. “It can be cathartic.”

“Quite,” I confirmed, remembering how I’d wrecked my room in Heaven in my fury after Azazel had been caught.

“What I just don’t get,” I said after a moment, “is why Lucifer even needed to claim me for himself. I mean, with his power and authority, couldn’t he have simply commandeered me into his service anyway, even if you were the one who claimed me after my fall?”

Azazel shook his head slightly. “It’s not that simple. Theoretically, yes, Lucifer could pull demons from other territories into his direct service, but it’s not really done. Usually, even he would ask permission first, as a courtesy toward the archdemon to whom the demon in question belongs. And if the archdemon denies his request and Lucifer ignores it and seizes the demon anyway, it would ruffle quite a few feathers. The power balance between Lucifer and the archdemons isn’t as stable as one might think at first glance.”

“Oh?” I raised my brows. “I thought he was supreme overlord of Hell.”

“He is, but it’s also more complex than that. The relationship between him and the archdemons is a give-and-take, hinging upon mutual respect, and if enough archdemons banded together to go against Lucifer, it would be problematic for him. Generally, the archdemons often squabble among one another, and their individual disputes are enough to monopolize their attention and keep them busy. They rarely agree on anything. But if Lucifer started to infringe upon the rights of one of them by, say, conscripting one of their demons without permission, the others might just sit up and take notice and decide to push back, because they have a vested interest in making sure that kind of behavior doesn’t get established as the new norm.”

I nodded with understanding. “Because if they let it slide that one time with that one archdemon, who’s to say Lucifer won’t do it again, this time to another archdemon?”

“Exactly. That is the one thing they all agree on—that a slight from Lucifer against one of them is a slight against them all.”

“And you think Lucifer might have been afraid of that reaction should you have claimed me first and refused to allow him to conscript me?”

He scrunched up his face. “I wouldn’t say afraid , necessarily. I don’t think he truly fears that he could lose a war with his archdemons. It’s probably a question of time. If the archdemons rebelled in protest of his attempted conscription of you, and I managed to hold on to you during the conflict, it would take time for him to squash that rebellion and eventually bring you under his control. And since he believes Lilith to have already been reborn, he will feel the press of time to get to her. A war like that between archdemons and Lucifer could last decades, maybe well over a century, depending on how firmly the archdemons want to make their point.”

I pursed my lips and sucked in air against my teeth. “And he just told me himself that Lilith doesn’t have decades. He wants her found ASAP.”

“Which is why he would have been hell-bent on getting you under his control right away. If he doesn’t even have to contend with my claim over you, then he can command you to do his bidding without delay.”

“I mean, I might have even been open to doing the search after you claimed me if he’d asked nicely,” I said with a pout.

“Oh, he wouldn’t have asked.” He scoffed. “He would have demanded.”

“You’re so sure?”

He tilted his head and gave me a prompting look. “Can you imagine Lucifer putting his pride and thousands of years of being used to demons kowtowing to him away long enough to politely ask the demon who used to be a human—and who somehow managed to publicly humiliate him on two separate occasions—to please do him a favor?”

I grimaced. “Okay, yikes, when you put it that way…”

His laugh was dry and humorless. “No, he would never have asked nicely. He might even have come in brandishing the threat of dragging your father’s soul back to Hell as leverage to get you to comply.”

My stomach turned over, and I gulped. “I can see that.”

“I’m guessing he wanted full, uncontested control over you, and the easiest way to get that is to be the one to claim you after your fall.”

I sighed, my heart heavy at the thought of being shackled to Lucifer like that, with no way out in sight. “Well, he sure succeeded in that.”

“Don’t worry,” Azazel murmured, pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear. “This is not forever. I’ll get you back. I’ll find a way to bring you home.” At my doubtful look, he added with a sly smile, “Love, if I can manage to infiltrate Heaven to have a secret affair with an angel, I can figure out how to poach a demon from Lucifer.”

A knock sounded at the door, and I flinched. “Wait!” I shouted, realizing I was buck naked.

Scrambling off Azazel’s lap, I glanced around for my clothes, only to remember they had gone up in flames during our combustive lovemaking. With a grimace, I summoned a new set from my suite and hopped into it. Next to me, Azazel pulled on his own freshly summoned clothes. Right, as an archdemon, he probably wasn’t limited in his reach to call things to him.

Once properly dressed, I turned to the door and opened it. Gilarion stood on the other side, taking a bow.

“His Grace has called you. It is time.”

My heart clenched, and I threw a look over my shoulder at Azazel. His gaze softened, and he came over, slinging one arm around my waist and pulling me close.

Placing a kiss on the top of my head, he murmured, “Send word when you’re back. I’ll see you then.”

The rush of love I felt from him made me catch my breath. Laying my hand on his cheek, I whispered, “I love you, too.”

And with a last kiss that caressed my soul and caused my knees to go weak, I turned away and followed Gilarion down the hall.