7. DEAN

As I enter the club, I spot my friend, Bones, waving me over from our usual table.

He’s been wanting to hang out for weeks now but I’ve been busy with work and since having Willow I’ve been blowing him off. After he messaged me this morning saying he’s coming over I said I’d meet him tonight instead.

When I sit down, Bones stares at me from across the table like he knows something’s different about me. His long fingers tap the side of his drink making his rings clink against the glass

I’ve not seen him in a while, especially since I’ve been extra busy at home and have yet to update him on my current situation.

We met years ago through the job and after doing a few contracts together and discovering we have the same thirst for killing we became close friends.

“Carver, there’s something you’re not telling me,” he says as his dark eyes start to drift to a topless woman that’s heading our way.

The club we’re in tonight is his choice of venue, most of the places we hang out in are open to people like us. The guy that owns this place uses the backroom for dealing out jobs amongst other illegal and unsavory things. It’s a sort of neutral zone where no one’s allowed to kill each other and no one asks questions.

I use my alias whilst I’m in places like this. Everyone does, it’s safer that way. Carver wasn’t exactly my choice for a name but it stuck after I left my first trail of corpses so brutally carved up that half of them weren’t even identifiable when I was done.

You can pick up new jobs and cash in on completed ones here. It just so happens that the majority of these places are also strip clubs. I’ve never complained before and this particular club also lets you get your dick wet.

I don’t recognise the dancer coming towards us and when I ignore her she turns her attention to Bones.

“Nice to see you too.There’s a lot I don’t tell you. We’re hardly the sort of friends that braids each other”s hair whilst confessing our deepest, darkest secrets,” I scoff and pick up the drink he got in for me before I arrived, taking a long swig of the cheap whisky.

“I’d genuinely love it if you braided my hair!” he laughs. He really would as well.

According to him his hair is his best feature and he often likes to tell me what new product he’s found for it, even though I don’t care I’m a good friend and I listen. Mostly. Now that I’m looking at it, the shade and length of Bones” hair actually kind of reminds me of Willow”s. Except hers is longer and wilder, thank fuck. I don’t need the image of my best friend ever popping up in my head as I’m fucking my girl.

That gives me an idea.

Willow has been using my products for the few days she’s been with me so far and they’re nothing special, even I have to admit her hair is losing some of its shine. If I got her some little gifts maybe I could make her work for them? That idea alone should be enough to excite me but it’s actually the thought of her happy face that gets me going.

“There’s definitely something different about you. No one’s seen you in weeks. I heard about your gang kill the other night and then nothing. You’ve not picked up any more jobs since then. So what’s up? I’ve never known you to not be working.”

“What do you use on it?” I ask, ignoring his probing. His jaw goes slack and his eyes snap away from the dancer”s ass waving right in front of his face to me.

“You’re gonna have to repeat that.”

As I roll my eyes at him I say, “I need to know what you use to get your hair so shiny.” One eyebrow creeps slowly up his forehead as he smirks at me, then the other follows suit before he bursts out laughing.

“I thought I was going crazy there for a second but I could have sworn you said my hair was shiny.” He flashes me his teeth as he smiles, just baiting me to throw some more compliments his way. If he never got into this life he could have easily become a model. From his hair, to the slight makeup, expensive clothes and chains he decks himself out in he’s a photographers wet dream and he fucking knows it.

“Speaking of hair, did you get your crabs sorted?” I smirk.

The dancer jumps off his lap but he grabs her wrist and forces her back down. Lucky for Bones, the security here doesn’t give a shit if you touch the girls as long as you’re not too rough.

“Did I say I was done with you?” he hisses at her, his tone suddenly darker. There was me thinking I didn’t have any patience. He switches back to his lighthearted self and says sweetly to her, “he’s only fucking with me, darling. My cock’s so clean you could eat your dinner off it.” The dancer smiles tightly, trying to hide her grimace but she doesn’t move away again.

“Consider that payback for the time you spread the rumour that I only fuck corpses.”

Bones barks out a huge laugh and says, “oh man, I forgot about that. Wonder if anyone still believes it?”

There’s a click of heels on the sticky tiles as another dancer comes up to me and puts her hands on my chest. “Guess not everyone,” Bones laughs.

”Hey, handsome, you want—” I grab her wrists, twisting them until she gasps and fear sparks in her eyes. To my surprise it does nothing for me. Huh, that’s new.

After staring at her for a long second I let her go and she stumbles away, mumbling “asshole,” under her breath. Again, that stirs nothing in me. Yet everytime Willow calls me an asshole or a jerk it’s like she’s igniting a fire in me that’s desperate to spread to her and consume us both.

I’ve not turned down lap dances here before, especially since the girls have always been fun to rile up and if you pay them enough they’ll do practically anything but tonight my cock doesn’t even twitch.

The only person I want calling me an asshole is waiting for me at home. I hope my little kittens sharpening her claws on the bedpost right now.

My attention’s drawn to a figure approaching our table. I don’t remember his name but I know he’s one of the guys from the back room that settles a lot of the accounts. I’ve dealt with him once or twice before but I’m pretty sure Bones uses him regularly.

“Bones, Carver,”he says, greeting us with a wide smile that makes his gold teeth flash under the neon lights.

“Jax!” Bones grins lazily back at him. ”What are you doing out of your den?”

“Heard you two were in and since you’re occupied,” he stares at the dancer”s tits for a few dragged out seconds before continuing, “thought I’d come to you. I’ve got a couple new jobs in. One pays real big. Thought you two would be interested.”

“Depends how big,” Bones says, with a tease to his voice as he stares at Jax’s bulge whilst his hands are squeezing the dancer”s ass.

Jax smirks right back at him then pulls something up on his phone and shows it to Bones without letting the dancer see. “Oh shit, that’s a lot of zeros. Yeah, we’ll take it.”

I would ask for the details but there are too many ears out here and I trust Bones with his intuition. Whoever it is we’re killing must have pissed someone big off to warrant both of us on the job.

Jax puts his phone away, a smug grin on his face and dollar signs in his eyes as he calculates the hefty cut he’ll take.

“Sweet. I’ll send you the files I have. The rest is on you.” A tall blonde saunters past, catching his eye and he shoots us a wink before following her and slapping her ass.

“Does it pay enough for me to be out of the game for a while?” I ask once Jax is out of earshot.

“What the fuck?” Bones snaps as he shoves the dancer off him. She looks at him like she’s about to slap him but then she looks at me and quickly scurries away to find another lonely guy to service. To be fair, I’m also wondering if Bones has had a personality transplant, I”ve never seen him turn down anyone here before.

“Something wrong? Not like you to get bored so quickly.”

He gapes at me and leans forward with his hands on the table. “Something wrong with me? What’s going on with you? You’ve barely looked at any of the girls here, you’re asking about my hair and now you’re saying you want out!”

“Not forever. I just need some time to deal with a thing.”

“Either you’re finally about to admit your feelings to me and I really can’t blame you if you do,” he places a hand over his heart dramatically. ”Or you’ve met someone.”

Shit. I made it obvious asking about the stupid hair products but I thought it would be nice for her.

What has gotten into me? I”ve never been an easy read before, not even to Bones.

Leaning back, I lace my fingers together over my head and groan. I don’t understand this need I have for her, it’s so different to anything I’ve felt before. I want to hurt her but I think I also want to look after her.

The moments I spend tending to her after I’ve left her covered in bite marks and come are just as good as the sex itself. She’s so feisty when I fuck her but after a few orgasms she turns so soft and pliant in my arms.

“Will you just message me a list of whatever shampoo and stuff I need to buy?” I ask since he’s already suspicious it’s hardly going to make things worse if I say anything else. So I add, “make sure they’re lavender or honey scented.”

“Yeah, of course I will, man. Are you going to tell me who she is?” He leans back in his seat, with an odd look on his face and starts fiddling with the hair tie around his wrist. “You’ve never seemed like a lavender and honey guy to me before so…”

“Yes, fine, I may have met someone,” I shrug casually. What harm will it do for my one friend to know anyway? It’s not like he’s going to be meeting her any time soon.

“When? How? I want every detail. I need to meet her!” Oh man I really should have anticipated he’d be this excited for me. If it was the other way round I’d also want to know, but it’s not like it’s a normal relationship I’m in. I’m not even sure what to call it.

“No!” I say a bit too loudly that some of the other patrons look our way. “You’re staying clear of her for now.”

“Worried she’ll fall for me instead?” I ignore him because there's no way he’s even getting near her for a chance of that happening. “You’re not in love are you?” Bones suddenly laughs loudly and claps his hands. “Oh, good for you, man! Honestly it’s about time. Thought it would be me that found it first though but whatever. Does she have a sister? Friend? Cousin? Fuck, I’ll even take her mom if she’s hot.”

“I’m not in love,” I lean forward and hiss quietly.

No way.

Obsessed, yes, but in love? People like me don’t find love.

“Nah man you’re completely head over heels in love,” he sing-songs. “I can see it all over your face! So how did you meet?”

“It’s a very long story.”

“Good job we’ve got all night then.” I give him a look and he adds, “or not. You’re seeing her tonight?”

“Technically, yes and I didn’t say anything to you before because we don’t tell each other everything! Well you tell me everything, but that’s not the point.”

Why is this suddenly making me feel bad?

Shit, she’s really gotten into my head and mixed things up. I think I might actually have feelings now that aren’t reliant on killing someone. Feelings are messy and complicated. Two things I don’t want or need in my life but I brought them on myself by kidnapping Willow in the first place.

I sink down in my chair and rub my eyes. It’s not been that long since I brought her home, but Willow’s been constantly on my mind. Her presence has taken over my solitary existence and turned it into something that feels full. When I’m with her she’s all I need and when I’m away from her she’s all I want.

I’ve never cared about needing to belong somewhere before, most people in my past made sure I knew I’d never fit in and I accepted that.

I took their harsh judgements and molded them to create the person I am today. Ruthless and cold but still willing to take the hatred they left in me out on the world.

For so long, I’ve needed violence to make me feel anything. I ended up craving it but what Willow has to offer is so much more addicting and I won’t ever be able to get enough.

I should be burning up from the flames of destruction she ignites in me but instead she grounds me. Her mere presence both excites and soothes me.

She doesn’t look at me like I’m evil, even though she should. She doesn’t know half the things I want to do to her.

Willow makes me feel like I finally belong in this world. Belong with her.

“Shit. I’m in love.”

“Told you. Think she’s the one then?” He’s stopped joking now and looks genuinely happy for me.

“I don’t know,” I say solemnly. How can she be when I’m supposed to kill her? Obviously I can’t do that anymore but she’s never going to feel the same way about me. Eventually I’ll end up taking things too far and break her beyond repair. Then I’ll have to get rid of her. Lowering my voice I say, “she’s not exactly at my place willingly.”

I’m not quite sure what sort of response to expect from him but it’s not the excited smile he gives me. “What the fuck does that mean?” he asks just as quietly as he leans forward until our faces are just a few inches apart.

With a sigh I tell him everything, well not all the shit I’ve done to her since she’s been at mine. He doesn’t need to know the ins and outs of my cock”s life.

“No fucking way,” he says louder now. “So she’s basically like your sex slave!”

“What? No!” I say but he’s kind of right. I’ve been using her body constantly and although she won’t admit it, I know she’s been enjoying it. She’s been so responsive. Her orgasms speak for themselves. She’s clearly miserable though and I get it. A lot’s happened to her recently and if it takes a while longer for her to adjust then I can wait.

That makes me feel a tiny bit bad but what else am I supposed to do with her?

She’s probably trying to escape right now so it’s hardly like I can let her live in the house like a normal guest.

What if she’s found a way out already or hurt herself somehow?She seems way too comfortable with the concept of death, I shouldn’t leave her alone for too long incase she tries something stupid.

I quickly shoot up and say, “I’ve got to go!”

Bones just smiles at me and waves me off. “Alright, lover boy. I’ll message you that list. Go enjoy your girl.” Then he snaps his fingers and summons one of the dancers over.

I don’t see if she’s the same one as before or a different girl. I don’t care. I don’t pay any of them any attention, not when the only thing on my mind is Willow.