24. WILLOW

Afew days later I’m starting to feel more like myself but something is still missing. Dean and I haven’t had actual sex since that night. It’s like he’s waiting for me to make the first move but I’m scared to. I need him so badly. My body’s constantly on edge, my nerves taut and ready to snap at any moment but what if he takes it too far again?

When Dean comes into the bedroom he looks angry and my heart sinks.

Did I do something wrong?

He goes to the closet without saying a word and starts packing a bag.

Panic floods my body and I get dizzy when I stand up.

“Dean? What’s going on?” I ask him as I put my hand on his back. His tension fades slightly.

“I’ve got to go on a job. I’ve been putting it off but we can’t wait any longer. If we miss today then that might be our last chance to get it done.” Dean turns to me and takes a breath before fixing his face into his usual carefree smile. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. You’ve got everything you need here.”

“How long will you be gone exactly? You said, we can’t wait any longer? Who’s we?” My mind”s racing with questions and I can’t get them out quick enough.

“Take a breath. I’m going with Bones and I should be back tomorrow at the latest. You don’t need to worry, baby. Like I said, you”ve got everything you need.”

Not everything, I think to myself as he keeps packing his bag. Not you.

“Why are you going?” I ask quietly.

“The pay’s good enough that I won’t need to take another job for a while. You’ll have me all to yourself then.” He winks.

“Do you have to leave right now?”

“I have a little bit of time,” he smiles softly at me. “Is there something you need?”

I chew on my bottom lip unsure how to ask him for exactly what I need and also embarrassed to even need it in the first place.

“I want you to make me feel,” I manage to say. His eyes widen for a flash before they darken and his tongue wets the scar on his lip.

“Feel what exactly?” He steps towards me and I stumble back until I’m sitting on the edge of the bed. He tilts my chin up with his fingers. My heart’s racing and the shirt I’m wearing suddenly feels too tight like I need him to tear it off me.

“Everything,” I whisper. “I want you to give me everything. Hurt me and…love me.”

With no warning, Dean’s grabbing my waist and throwing me higher onto the bed.

I scramble to get my shirt off and he helps tug it over my head. He gets his cock out and starts pumping it as I try to pull his shirt off. I’m staring at the angry head bobbing in front of me, needing it inside me already as he leans back to take his shirt off himself. I lean forward and lick the bead of precome off the tip. The noise that comes out of Dean’s throat is the hottest, most feral sound I’ve ever heard.

“What the fuck?” I gasp as I see his torso. A fresh, red scar covers his body, in the same place as he marked me with his name, mine is now cut into him. It looks jagged and inflamed, like he did it in anger.

“When did you do that?” I ask, sitting up I run my fingers over the lines, they’re healing but still look red and sore. My own scars flare in pain at the memory of their creation.

“When I thought I’d lost you. I wanted to prove to you that I’m just as much yours as you are mine.”

“Why didn’t you show me?”

“You needed taking care of.”

“It looks like it hurts,” I frown at him. I’m sure he wasn’t thinking straight when he did it and that makes my heart hurt. He could have really hurt himself. “You need to be more careful. You’re always getting yourself hurt, Dean.”

“Would you believe me if I said I didn’t feel a thing?” I assume he’s teasing but there’s no humor in his voice.

For some reason, I find myself saying, “yes.”

The force of his kiss knocks me onto my back and he thrusts his cock into me in one long motion. I cry out into his mouth and bite down on his lip. As he growls, his chest vibrates and I put my hands there feeling all of him, his old scars and his new ones. With one hand I trace the letters on my own body and press down until I feel the hot sting of pain that makes me clamp down on his thrusting cock.

“How did I get so fucking lucky?” He grunts each word as he thrusts into me and I whimper his name.

“Need more, Dean,” I gasp out.

“I’ll give you everything you need, baby, don’t worry.” He pulls out all the way and I moan out a small no, but he flips me onto my front and shushes me. “Don’t worry, baby, I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll be thinking of me every second when I’m gone.”

Two long fingers work their way into my pussy and I moan out in relief but it’s short lived as he pulls them out again. “Dean!” I groan. “Please, just fuck me! Stop teasing.”

“Patience, baby, gotta get you loosened up a bit first. Play with your clit for me.” I do what he says, trusting he’ll give me what I need.

I feel one of his soaked fingers pushing at my other hole. I tense up but tell myself I can trust him and my body loosens for him. After a few minutes, he manages to work his whole finger inside me. I let out a long deep moan that I’ve never heard from myself before. The feel of his finger doesn’t compare to the other pain he’s given me and I’m still begging for more.

“Dean, it’s not enough.”

He chuckles and bites at my neck as he adds a second finger and the feeling of being so full and the slight burn as he stretches me has me shaking on all fours.

“No coming yet, little kitten. Need my cock in you first.”

I don’t need to ask for it as I feel him replace his fingers with the head of his cock. I look back over my shoulder and watch as he spits. I feel as his saliva hits where we”re connected and he doesn’t take his eyes off the sight as he slowly pushes into me.

I cry out in pain as I realize his fingers didn’t do anywhere near enough to prepare me for the size of him.

“It hurts! It’s burning!” I gasp.

“If it’s too much we can stop,” he says tensely.

Stop?

He’s giving me a choice.

“I—no, I want this. I want you.” I reach back for him and he takes hold of my hand as he continues to push inside of me.

When he bottoms out I feel like I’m about to pass out but he slaps my clit and my whole body sparks to life and I come hard. My pussy clamps down on nothing but my ass tenses so hard around his cock that I swear I can feel him in both holes.

He chokes on his own groan and he grabs my hips, keeping himself deep in me as my body tries to push him out. “Too much,” I slur.

He squeezes my hand with a gentle pressure, telling me he’s got me. “It’ll pass, baby. Just focus on the pleasure.”

I’m lost in a haze of pleasure and pain so intense that I can barely make sense of what’s happening to me. Grunts and slaps of flesh fill my ears and I think I’m crying.

His hands dig into my hips but also provide me comfort as he strokes my back. Then his fingers are in my pussy again, stroking my walls. “Oh, fuck, I can feel myself in you,” he groans and my body explodes again. It’s followed by feeling so full I think I might actually burst.

He pulls out as he’s coming and I feel it hit my ass cheeks and back whilst it also drips down my thighs. “Look at that. My sweet girl all covered in come.”

The sudden emptiness of my body leaves me feeling hollow and I collapse but Dean catches me before I land on the mattress and folds me into his body.

“You were incredible, baby. Do you feel good?”

My tongue doesn’t want to work and I just about manage a nod. I feel like a sweaty, sticky mess but also good. Oh, so good.

I’m not sure how long he holds me for but by the time I come back to my senses I remember he has to leave.

“You’re going to be late,” I mumble against his arm.

He lets out a long sigh then says, “I can stay.”

I look up at him and see he clearly wants to stay but I know this job is worth it for him. Like he said, if he just gets it done then that’ll be it for a while. Maybe I can even persuade him to give it up altogether after that?

“No, it’s okay. I’m just going to have a bath then sleep so you might as well go.”

“Let me run the bath for you.” I don’t say no since I can barely move my body to get to the bathroom anyway.

When he comes back he looks so torn but eventually he kisses my forehead and says quietly, “I’ll be back as soon as I can. I promise.”

I kiss him on the lips then hobble to the bathroom. As the door closes behind me, my heart aches at the sound.

It’s not like he’s gone forever, he does this stuff all the time and always comes back.