20

20

I sat in the very last row of the van on the way to Dallas. It was the farthest seat from Edan, who was up front. He was pointedly avoiding me. Or I was avoiding him. Hard to say.

The rest of the team chatted happily. Noah edited on his laptop, putting together a Lubbock video that he was going to post after all this was over. It made us all look so focused and happy, and I sort of wished I lived in that world instead. Fake YouTube World seemed much nicer than the drama I had going on with two of my best friends.

I texted Laurence on the drive, and we made plans to have dinner together. He said he was free any night, so I suggested that evening. Fleeing for the night seemed like the best option at the moment.

Maddie got us several rooms at a hotel downtown and put the two of us together again. Maybe she thought it would be too awkward to suddenly change things up. But she left after dropping off her bag and only returned right before I left.

“You’re meeting up with your brother?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said, pausing at the door to look back at her. I wasn’t sure if we were still fighting. I didn’t know how to fight with her. Maybe we weren’t even fighting. Maybe she’d decided to just put some distance between us. A lump formed in my throat.

“I got a tip that some of the league guys are meeting up for happy hour at a restaurant tomorrow,” she said. “Dorsey and Patrick are going to go check it out, and the rest of us are going to tail Julian, see if he goes anywhere interesting. You’re welcome to invite Laurence, if he doesn’t mind sitting in a van all day.”

“I’m not sure he’ll want to . . .” I had no idea if he wanted to. I wasn’t sure if Laurence was just being polite when he asked me questions about the team or if he was truly interested.

She shrugged and turned away from me. “Whatever you want.”

“Maybe I’ll ask.” I tried to sound casual.

She nodded. I stared at her back for a moment, and then walked out the door.

Laurence was waiting in the lobby, leaning against the back of a chair. He looked mostly the same as the last time I’d seen him—tall and broad, with dark hair and a nervous expression on his face. Maybe I was projecting the nerves. But Laurence often looked like he wished he was someplace else—any place else—and I thought I saw that familiar expression now.

But he smiled when he spotted me. Maybe I really was projecting. I was nervous, and honestly, a little shaky. I couldn’t stop thinking about Edan’s downcast gaze as he walked away last night. And Maddie shrugging and turning away from me, like she didn’t even care if we were fighting.

I took a deep breath and tried to focus on Laurence, who had straightened as I approached. I could at least try not to fail at this relationship.

I stopped in front of him, unsure if I should greet him with a hug. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d hugged Laurence. Probably when we were kids and Mom would make us hug after we fought. But that must have been at least ten years ago.

He didn’t make a move like he was going to try to embrace me, so I just stood there awkwardly.

“Hi,” I said.

“Hi.”

“Thanks for coming.”

“Thanks for inviting me.”

And then we just stood there staring at each other for several seconds. This had probably been a horrible idea. We’d barely gotten to a point where we could talk on the phone for fifteen minutes. Spending an entire evening together was going to be painful.

“I saw a restaurant down the road that looked pretty good,” he finally said. “You up for Mexican?”

“Sure.”

I followed him out of the hotel and to his truck, and we managed small talk about Lubbock on the five-minute ride to the restaurant. I didn’t fill him in on what we’d found at the facility. The news hadn’t broken yet, and we were giving the police a little more time to announce it.

We were seated at a booth, and I opened the menu, grateful to have something to look at besides him. It took a moment for him to speak as I stared at the taco section.

“So, the whole team is here? In Dallas?” he asked.

“Yeah. They went home for the holidays, but we all met up again in Lubbock.”

“And what exactly are you doing here?”

“We’re . . .” I took a quick glance around the restaurant, not sure how much I should share within earshot of other people. The news of the missing scrabs hadn’t hit the media yet. I decided to go with a half-truth. “We’re following a lead. Maybe going to the Scrab Defense League conference.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Don’t those guys hate you? I mean, all of you on the teams,” he clarified quickly.

“They do. But we’ll all be together, and it’s in public. Not much they can do.”

The waitress appeared to take our orders, and I took a long sip of my water as she walked away.

“Have you thought about what you’re going to do about finishing high school?” he asked.

“What?”

“High school. Are you going to finish or get a GED or . . .” He ran his finger down the condensation on his water glass, maybe so he wouldn’t have to look at me.

“I looked into the GED, but it’s complicated since I’m only seventeen and not living here anymore.”

“Can you take it in New York? Or even abroad?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll look into it for you.”

“Thanks?” I gave him a confused look.

“Why are you looking at me like that? You don’t want me to look into it?”

“No, I mean, that’s nice, I just didn’t realize you cared that much about whether I finished school.”

“I do.”

“OK.”

“I want you to finish or get a GED or whatever the equivalent is if you decide to live in another country.”

“I’ll give it a go, but you know I’m kind of a dumbass, so it may take a few tries.”

“Clara.” He leaned forward, looking at me seriously.

“Yes, I know, I’m not dumb just because I didn’t do well in school, Maddie tells me all the time.”

“She’s right; you should listen to her. But I was going to say that you should stop thinking that you’re dumb, if only to spite Dad.”

I raised my eyebrows, silently asking him to go on.

“Making you and Mom feel dumb was his favorite pastime. Don’t let him win by actually believing it.”

I folded the paper from my straw over and over until it was tiny. Maybe he had a point.

“Imagine if you went to college,” Laurence said. “He’d be mad about it forever.”

I laughed. “That’s honestly one of the best reasons I’ve heard to go to college.”

“Some of your friends are going, right? They talk about it sometimes on Noah’s YouTube videos, or on Instagram. Several of them deferred college?”

“Yeah. Noah, Laila, Priya . . . I don’t think Maddie applied to any colleges since she knew she was joining the teams with Grayson, but yeah, she’ll definitely go one day.”

“You and Maddie are close, aren’t you?”

“Uh . . .” My throat closed, and my expression must have given away something, because he suddenly looked alarmed.

“What?”

I stared at the table. “We’re sort of fighting.”

“About what?”

“It’s . . . complicated. Just some teams stuff. But things are also really weird between me and Edan, and I just . . .” I glanced up at him. “I’m failing at the friends thing right now.”

“I’m sure you’re not failing at it. Friends fight sometimes.”

“I guess, but I don’t know what to do to make it right,” I said. “Maybe go to therapy. Maddie’s always annoyed with me that I don’t go to therapy.”

“Do you even have the time or the money to go to therapy? Do the teams offer health insurance?”

“Maddie got some therapists for the teams, free of charge. She’s mad I didn’t take advantage.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“I know, she has a point.” I let out a long sigh and pressed my palms to my forehead. “I guess she wants me to go tell some doctor all about Mom and Dad and talk about my feelings, and I don’t know how to do any of that. I mean, what am I supposed to say?”

He let out a short laugh. “I really can’t help you there. My last girlfriend dumped me because she said I never talked to her.” He cocked his head, thinking for a moment. “Actually, all my girlfriends have said that.”

I moaned. “We’re doomed, Laurence.”

“No, we’re not,” he said with a chuckle. “Maddie’s right; you should have taken advantage of the therapist. I’m sure you can work through whatever it is that makes us like this.”

“I wish Maddie was here so she could hear you keep saying she’s right. She would really enjoy that.”

“I would like to meet her sometime, if she’s around. I wouldn’t mind meeting the whole team, if you’re up for it.”

I looked at him in surprise. “Uh, yeah, we can do that. Maddie did actually tell me to invite you to come with us tomorrow, if you want. Some of the team will be scoping out those league guys. The rest of us will probably be tailing Julian, maybe some of his buddies too. Fair warning, a few of them might try to punch us.”

“I can take a hit,” he said, his lips turning up.

“I know you can.”

“I’d like that. Not the getting punched, but meeting everyone. Seeing what you do.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

I smiled at him. Now I really wished Maddie were here, because she’d also been right about me calling Laurence. It was definitely a good choice.