4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Logan

"Where the fuck is it?"

I tore my room apart in search of my record—my missing fucking record.

My entire body thrummed with agitation at losing my chance to travel, all that wasted time working my ass off to save money just so I couldn't fucking go. All the while, my mind kept playing tricks on me like a cruel bully, telling me possibilities that were fucking impossible—my stepbrother was now single.

I shut my eyes for a second to breathe and remind myself that I hated Nick. I wanted nothing to do with him, and he was nothing but trouble for me—dangerous. I'd spent years carefully constructing my walls. No way would I allow him to knock them down, intentionally or not.

"Fuck!"

I needed to hear it. I needed her record. Whenever I got like this, which was often, I would listen to Rubber Soul by The Beatles. That was the only thing that would soothe me right now, and I couldn't fucking find it!

Out of breath, I stood in the middle of my room with shit strewn everywhere, grasping my hair. A tornado hit the place—a tornado called Logan. My breath came in gasps from exertion and the rising panic.

"Jesus, what the fuck happened in here?" Nick said, walking in and looking around my room.

It wasn't his presence that drew my attention, but what he held in his hand. I'd recognize that record anywhere.

My muscles eased, knowing I hadn't lost my record, but then the red rage filled me. "You fucking stole my record?" I snapped, yanking it from his hand.

"Borrowed," he corrected, as if that made a difference.

He looked up at me through thick eyelashes, half smiling and half wincing. His guilty expression made me breathe harder and my heart pump even faster.

Nick found an interesting spot on the floor and stared at it. "Uhm… I'm sorry."

I pulled the vinyl out of its paper sleeve, and there it was—a large scratch along the surface. My eyes started to sting as I stared at my ruined record, wishing away the damage.

"I took it off my record player, and… it dropped, hitting some shit I had on the floor. I'll get you a new one, I swear."

The anger burned straight into my soul and grew so hot that my skin flushed over my entire body. "A new one? Do you have any idea what you've fucking done?"

He raised his hands. "Whoa, I said I was sorry. I'll replace it."

"You can't replace this one! This was an original, and it was… Mom's." The last word choked out from the thickness in my throat. She'd given me her record six months before she died. We used to dance to the songs when I was little, and she used to sing ‘Black Bird' to me at night before bed sometimes.

Oh, god.

I looked at the record I held with trembling hands that itched to hurt something. The flush on my skin ignited to fire. My ire and pent-up rage suddenly turned onto Nick. "Run," I gritted out.

"W-what?"

"Fucking run, because I'm going to kill you where you stand if you don't!"

"Oh, shit…"

Nick spun on his heels and took off, and I was close behind. We tore down the stairs like thunder, and Nick burst through the screen door, yanking it off its hinges, and ran into the backyard. He didn't get far before I jumped onto his back, and we tumbled into the grass.

"Wait, wait!" he yelled, but there would be no waiting. I wanted him to fucking hurt as much as I did.

Nick was no lightweight, though. He was leaner than me, but he had a lot of muscle from tennis. We thrashed and clawed at each other while I tried to find a way to smash his face in.

Everything in my mind blanked out other than the visions of Nick's bloody face. When my fist connected to his jaw, pleasure coursed through me, but it didn't last long when his fist hit my nose. I saw blackness for a second as pain radiated through my face, but that didn't stop us from grappling and trying to find anything to hurt each other.

"How could you?" I yelled.

"I said… I was… sorry!"

"You ruined it!"

"I didn't mean to!"

"It was mine!"

"Oof," he grunted when my knee landed in his gut.

Nick suddenly got the upper hand, flipped me onto my back, and straddled me. He clocked my face again, and when he came in for another, I blocked him.

"You're such a dick!" he yelled. "You've always hated me!"

"And you're an arrogant prick who thinks he can do whatever he wants!"

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you, too!"

I finally got leverage and rolled him onto his back, but when I tried to punch his smug face again, my fist got stuck. Then someone suddenly yanked me off Nick.

"That's enough! Both of you!" Dad yelled.

Once I was out of his reach, Nick stood and came at me, but Dad grabbed a fistful of his shirt, holding him back.

"Nice face," I snapped, smirking at him as he bled from his nose and a split lip.

"I can't tell you how good it feels to see you bleed, too."

My tongue darted out to lick away the tangy and coppery blood dripping down my mouth. "Next time, I'm going to break your fucking bones!"

"Enough! What the hell has gotten into you two? I thought we were finally done with this sort of behavior."

"He scratched my record!"

"I said sorry!"

"It was Mom's!"

"I didn't know!"

"You're an asshole!"

"And you're fucking mental!"

"That's it. You two, in the kitchen and sit your asses down. Not another damn word."

Dad dragged us both by our shirts into the house and shoved us into the kitchen. "Sit!"

I huffed and folded my arms as I sat, looking anywhere but at Nick and Dad, but Mia forced me to look at her by yanking my chin up. Her dark eyes, which looked too much like Nick's, were filled with disappointment. "Look at you… both of you." Her soft, gentle tone only made me feel guilty, but I choked it back. This was all Nick's fault.

She dropped my face and walked to the refrigerator, digging into the freezer and pulling out an ice tray, dropping several cubes into two dishtowels. She handed me one and the other to Nick. "Put the ice on your faces."

Dad sat between us, and Mia sat on the other side of the table across from Dad.

"Now, please explain to me why you two are behaving as if you're fourteen again. I thought you both had finally grown out of this resentment."

Nick pointed at me, his finger right in my face that I wanted to snap off before he dropped his hand. "Logan's the one who hates me! I don't know what I ever did to him."

"You were fucking born!"

My dad turned red, about to blow up at me, but I refused to take back my words.

"Wyatt, before you start yelling, something is troubling Logan, and I think right now he's not in a good place. Let's listen to him, then we'll hear from Nick."

She looked at her son and pointed a finger. "No interrupting."

Nick huffed, but didn't argue. Mia looked at me with eyes that said she wasn't to be trifled with. "Don't take this as me being on your side yet, Logan. Your words are cruel, and listening to you doesn't excuse your behavior. I understand you're upset about Hunter's mom being sick and losing out on your trip, something you've worked hard for, but you can't take your frustrations out on others."

"I…" Now that the adrenaline wore off, I wanted to curl up into a ball in my room and just let go. Instead, I took a deep breath to suck it up, shoving my pain into the cramped drawers in my brain. "Nick went into my room and took one of my records. I couldn't find it, so he came into my room and gave it back, but he… scratched it." I looked at him, who quickly glanced away. "It was my mom's, and it was special to me. I just… lost it, okay?"

I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands. If I said another word, the dam was going to burst.

"Nick, is this true? Did you scratch his record?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "Logan's always listening to it, and I really liked it… It was an accident, though. I told him I'd buy him a new record, but… I had no idea it had belonged to his mother. I'm so sorry, Logan. Really."

I liked it better when he was pissed. Unable to bear another moment, I shoved out of the chair and stormed up the stairs.

"Logan! We aren't done here!" Dad yelled, but I ignored him, ran into my room, and slammed the door behind me, behaving like a child, but I didn't give a shit.

The noise must have startled my sister from her nap because she began to wail.

"Fuck!"

I opened my door, stepped into the nursery, and found her standing in her crib. "Hey, Hannah Banana." Her large brown eyes were wet as she reached up to me.

Once I had her in my arms, I held her close, and that was when my control crumbled to dust. My body racked in silent sobs as the tears spilled, unable to hold them back any longer, while she grabbed a lock of my hair and started eating it.

I'd never be able to listen to that side of the record again. It would always skip. Fucking Nick. Realistically, I knew it was an accident, but he had no right to take it without asking, not that I would've ever lent it to him.

"Son?"

My body tensed when Dad came in. He walked over to me and took Hannah from my arms.

I glanced away, so he wouldn't know that I'd been crying like a damn baby, though he probably noticed anyway.

"What am I going to do with you, Logan? You're always so angry. I thought things had gotten better, but this? I get that you're upset, but beating up Nick isn't the answer."

I quickly wiped my face and turned to him. "Let me go on my trip. Please. I need this, Dad."

He sighed and glanced down at Hannah, who'd been watching us while she tried to eat her entire fist.

"You can go on one condition."

My stomach clenched in excitement but also from nerves because I knew he was going to make me do something big, something I wouldn't like.

"What condition?"

"You have to take Nick."

"No! No way."

"It's that or you don't get to go. That's the rule. You both need to get to California, and Berkeley is only an hour's drive to Stanford. It makes sense for you two to go together."

Taking a three-week road trip with Nick seemed like a living hell. No matter if we got along or not, it was all going to end badly—no doubt about it.

"I can't…"

"Then you can stay here and wait until we can all go together as a family. But you won't just take him to Stanford, Logan. You two are going to work out your shit. You're brothers whether you like it or not. I don't understand this resentment you have toward him. He's always looked up to you. I know he's wanted more from you as a brother."

I scoffed to myself and grabbed Hannah's little rabbit from her crib and played with the soft ears. Yeah right . Nick didn't look up to anyone. He was too arrogant and needed to be the center of attention.

"I'll throw in a bonus."

I looked up at my dad to see what other shit he was going to toss my way. What bonus could he possibly come up with?

"What bonus?"

"I'll let you take the Mustang ."

My eyes grew wide, and my jaw dropped. "Your Mustang ? The one you never let anyone even look at?"

His smile turned crooked as his blue eyes twinkled. "The very one. Besides, it's safer than your hunk of junk."

"Hey, I take good care of that hunk of junk." I didn't know why I was being so defensive when I could drive Dad's shiny red 1969 Ford Mustang .

"I know you do. That's why I'll trust you with my baby. What do you say? Do you think you can suck it up with Nick and learn how to get along while driving the most… What do you all call it nowadays? The freshest car on the road?"

I rolled my eyes and wiped my nose with the back of my hand. "No one says that anymore."

He chuckled and kissed Hannah's head. "I stand corrected. So, is that a yes ?"

"Yeah, that's a yes. What if he says no?"

"Mia and I will convince him it's in his best interest. Now, go get your face cleaned up. You're still covered in blood, and I expect that room of yours to be spotless before dinner."

"Okay."

Dad held out his arm, and I slid into his hug while hugging my baby sis, too.

"Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome, son."

I wasn't sure I should be thanking him. Traveling with Nick was going to be a nightmare. Nothing good would come of this.

"Oh, and Logan?" Dad called as I walked out.

I turned to face him. "Yeah?"

"I have some other records of your mother's if you'd like them."

There went my eyes again, burning with tears. I took a shuddered breath to shove the pain deep inside. "I'd like that."