8. KADENCE

KADENCE

I t’s been a few hours since we got back to the shop and I keep seeing Cole pace back and forth across the parking lot, dialing someone on the phone and then hanging up a few moments later. The sun starts to dip and the sky turns a deep shade of orange when he finally comes back into the office. He’s stopped by a few times, making sure I’m okay and that I have a plate for my sandwich, but for the most part he’s kept his distance. I appreciate it. The less hovering he does, the more my anxiety sits at a low thrum in my chest.

Cole lets out a huff as he leans against the desk. His face is covered in motor grease and his forehead is slick with sweat.

“So, you want the good news or the bad news?” He asks, and suddenly my worry doesn’t seem so silly anymore.

“Good...” I answer without hesitation.

Cole nods. “Well, you need an entire new engine.”

My mouth drops slightly. “That’s the good news?” I ask in disbelief.

“Bad news is, these engines are hard to come by now. It’s gonna take a little bit before we can get one and rebuild it.”

My stomach twists. “How long?”

“Couple weeks, maybe?” He shrugs. “It might just be better to find a new car, Kadence.”

“No,” I blurt out and he furrows his brow as I shake my head. I swallow back the lump in my throat, “This car means too much.”

“It’s expensive to fix a car like this,” he says gently.

My eyes meet his and I know exactly what he’s saying but I can’t give up on this car that easily. My father wouldn’t. I did the math earlier in the diner, figuring out how much money I have left to my name, and I know it's not enough to cover the car. Cole doesn’t even have to tell me. The pitiful look he’s giving me says it all.

I run my hands over my face and sigh. I have disappointment and sadness radiating off of me like heat right now. He shifts on his feet like he can feel it.

“You really want to keep the car?” Cole asks, quirking a brow.

I look up at him, “I do…I just–I don’t have the money for it.” I admit and he glances around, putting his hands on his hips like he did before as if he’s assessing everything around him.

Cole freezes for a moment and a flicker of light crosses his blue eyes. “This might be out of line, but I could offer you a job here. In exchange for work on the car.”

I furrow my brow. “A job? Why would you do that?”

He smiles, and, for the first time since this morning, it reaches his eyes. “Think of it as a mutually beneficial business decision.” Cole chuckles. “This place is a mess, as I’m sure you can see, and I could use all the help I can get right now.”

I glance around the mess that is the office.

“There’s a mother-in-law apartment upstairs.” His chin lifts slightly. “You’re welcome to stay there for the time being.”

My eyes well with tears as I shake my head. “Why are you being so nice to me?” I say tightly, trying to keep the ball of emotions tangling in my throat at bay.

Cole’s features go soft, his eyes drop slightly and a sadness washes over him, but it's not pity this time. “Because you look like you need someone to be nice to you.”

The words shatter my heart and a sob slips from my lips. I bury my face in my hands as embarrassment floods me. Do I really look that broken? The floor creaks under Cole’s weight as he takes a step and I feel his presence as he crouches down in front of me.

“Hey,” his voice cuts through my pathetic cry, “Look at me, Kadence.” Cole hesitates for a moment before gently pulling on my arms, getting me to look at him. He tilts his head slightly, catching my gaze. “I don’t know who made you feel like kindness was a privilege you weren’t worthy of, but I’ll do what I can to get you back on the road.”

I sniffle softly, my eyes searching his. I can tell he's being genuine, no hidden agenda that I can sense, and for the first time in a long time I feel safe with a man. It's a strange feeling. Not having the urge to pull away from the warmth of his calloused hands. He flashes me a crooked smile, it's a little awkward but, to be fair, I am currently staring at him with tears streaming down my face, inches from his.

“Okay.”

"Okay," he whispers back before standing up with a nod. "I'll give you a minute, and then we can get your things from the motel if you want."

I nod, grateful not to have to sleep on those musty sheets again. Cole takes a step backwards from me shoving his hands into his pockets before he turns and leaves. My chest heaves with a deep shaky breath and I wipe away the tears from my cheeks before moving to follow him.

We climb into the tow truck and make it back to the motel. Cole helps me gather my things from the room I rented and I hand back the key to the kid behind the office counter with a smile. It doesn't take very long and soon we're headed back towards the garage.

"You said I was safe?" I ask looking over at him. "What did you mean by that?"

Cole looks over at me before glancing back to the road. “Well, I'm sure you’ve noticed that we’re not just a garage. We’re a motorcycle club as well.”

I nod, “I figured that.”

He looks over at me again, a look in his eye that tells me he's debating on how much to divulge. "We protect our own. Right now, that includes you if you're going to help out and live at the garage."

Cole clears his throat adjusting his grip on the steering wheel. "Some of the guys can be a little... much. So if you run into any problems, you come find me or Trey, our vice president, and if they get really out of line, you find Wolfe. He'll handle it."

"You get how that sounds awfully suspicious right?" I can't help but chuckle leaning back against the seat and swallowing the nervousness gathering in my throat.

This time he laughs, shaking his head. “Yeah, I can see where those red flags might pop up. Look, you're welcome to any part of the property. There’s the clubhouse where the guys go to unwind. A few of them stay there, but if you need anything just ask the prospects, Quinn and West. You met Quinn earlier—”

The sound of Maria's ringtone fills the cab of the truck, interrupting Cole. "Sorry," I say, giving him an apologetic look.

"You can take that if you need to." He glances over at me with that same crooked smile.

"Thanks," I mumble softly before answering. "Hi, Maria."

“ Jesus, Kade, where are you? ”

“Uhm, Pine River. The Comet broke down last night. I had to get towed into town, and it looks like I’ll be staying here for a while.” I explain quickly, knowing she’s going to have a million questions. I chance a look at Cole, who is trying his hardest to pretend like he’s not listening.

“ What do you mean?” Worry laces the question as Maria asks.

“It needs a new engine. There’s a local mechanic who is gonna help me get it squared away.”

“You can afford that?”

I keep my eyes on Cole. “He’s giving me a job and a place to stay while I’m here.” I see Cole smile slightly. “I promise, Maria, I’m okay.”

“This sounds like the start of a horror movie, Kade. What if he’s actually a serial killer? You know small towns have those.” She sighs.

I laugh and glance over at Cole, “You aren’t going to murder me are you?”

He grins, “Yes, yes I am.” He winks and turns back into the garage parking lot. I roll my eyes knowing that Maria heard him.

“See!” She bellows, “Kade, I know you don’t want to come home. I get it—”

“I’m not talking about this right now, Maria. I’m fine. I’m safe. That’s all that matters,” I interject, knowing what’s coming. I love Maria. She’s one of the only people who didn’t turn on me after I went public with the things Jeremy did. But she tries to fill the hole my mother left and I hate it.

“ Promise me you’ll call me if things get too bad? If you need money—”

“Maria—”

“No, Kadence. If you need anything, please call me.”

I sigh and close my eyes letting my head drop to the back of the seat. "Okay," I concede, "Okay, I will. I have to go Mar. I'll call you later, okay?"

Maria huffs on the other end. " Alright. "

"Love you," I say softly.

" Love you too."

“You ready?” He asks as I hang up. I can tell he wants to ask who Maria is, and at this point I would probably tell him, but he doesn’t say anything as he gets out of the truck and grabs my bags.

He leads me up a set of stairs on the side of the shop to the apartment. Cole pushes the door open and flips on the light. It's small and more of a studio apartment, but it smells recently cleaned, and I don't need much. A bed, a shower, and a place to put my things.

“Make yourself at home. There’s a bathroom and a small kitchen around the corner, and if you want groceries, I can point you to the store that's a few blocks away.” Cole sets my bags down on the bed, turning on his heel towards me.

I wrap my arms around myself, taking in the space. It feels weird to be in a place I can call home, even if it is temporary. If it was up to me I'd be back on the road by now but the more time I spend here the more I feel like the Comet broke down here for a reason. It made it over three thousand miles, just to break down outside of Pine River.

“I’ll let you get some rest.” he says, pulling out his phone. “Put your number in here and I’ll text you so you have mine in case you need anything. I’ll be at the club house tonight, if you want to stop in.”

"Thanks, Cole." I take his phone from him and save my number before handing it back. He sends me a quick text before shoving his phone back into his pocket. "Really... for everything. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he says with that soft gentle smile that I have become accustomed to. "Have a good night Kadence." Cole gives me a nod, shifting around me, and moves to the door.

"You too."

He gives me one last smile before shutting the door behind him. The few things I had in my arms I set down on the small table before collapsing on the edge of the bed. I bounce a few times to test it out. It's soft and doesn't feel like it's going to kill my back by morning. Another thing I'm grateful for.

I do a check to make sure the door to the apartment is locked before changing and settling into the bed. It doesn't take long for my eyes to grow heavy. The combination of the warm blankets and the chilled air from the air conditioning has me giving into the sleep I need but am constantly in fear of.

I roll over onto my side, my eyes springing open. That tight feeling is back in my chest and it feels like my heart is going to burst. Reaching for my phone and almost blinding myself with the screen light I check the time. 12:23 am. With a groan I toss the phone onto the pillow next to me and roll onto my back. I hate this time of night. The in-between of being asleep and waking up from whatever horror my mind has already blocked out before I either fall asleep again or lie awake and make friends with the ceiling tiles.

I sit up and lean against the headboard, pulling my hair back into a bun, and try to calm my nerves. The door to the apartment swings open suddenly, slamming against the wall and startling me. A chorus of giggles and moans follow and I fly out of the bed, scrambling for my phone, as a man and woman fumble their way into the room.

"Hey!" I yell through the rushing sound of my heartbeat in my ears, just hoping to get their attention off of each other as pieces of clothing start getting tossed onto the floor.

The two jump and pull away from each other, the man pushing the already half-naked woman behind him. His long, dark chestnut hair is messy on one side giving light to the sharpness of his jawline in the glow of moonlight filtering through the window. Bright blue eyes connect with mine, and for a moment, I'm stunned by how light they actually are in the dark.

“Who the fuck are you?” His voice is harsh and smoky as it fills the room and his brows furrow. The woman behind him peeks around his shoulder, glaring at me with smoked-out eyes and a snarl adorned with red lipstick.

I narrow my eyes at him. Noticing the motorcycle cut I stand up a little straighter and the death grip I have on my phone eases briefly. "Don't be rude," I snap, and the corners of his mouth quirk up slightly. "Cole said I could stay here."

The man takes a step forward and instinctively I take a step back, pressing my body further into the corner. "Yeah? Well I know Cole and he doesn't let just anyone stay here. So I ask again, who the fuck are you?" He snarls, taking another step towards me.

"Nash, who is this bitch?" The woman speaks up, folding her arms over her chest like I've done something wrong.

"I don't know either of you, so back the fuck off."

"That's the problem, Sweetheart," he coos sarcastically. "We don't know who the fuck you are either."

I glance down at my phone quickly trying to find Cole's number but my fingers are trembling. A second passes and I find him, dialing the number just as my phone is ripped from my hand and tossed to the bed. "Who the fuck are you?" He barks.

My entire body freezes ready for whatever beating I’m about to receive from this man. I hate that my body starts to shrink in on itself as I stare at eyes made of blue fire.

"Holden!" The woman snaps and he turns so fast it makes my head spin and has me sinking to the floor. That familiar gut-wrenching fear creeps through me.

"Shut the fuck up, Layla, and go get Cole!"

Layla's face drops at the tone in his voice before she snatches her shirt off of the ground. "You're an asshole, Nash!" She screeches before stomping down the stairs.

When he turns back and realizes I’m on the floor, his eyes go wide, and he takes a step back from me. His chest is heaving with heavy breaths, and his fists are clenched. "What is your name?"

I don't answer. I can't. Tears are burning in my eyes and I feel myself slip into that same dark space I always did when Jeremy got loud.

"Kadence!" Cole's voice cuts through the tension and I can make out his footsteps as he barges into the apartment and shoves past Holden before kneeling in front of me. "You okay?"

I'm still frozen, and even when he tries to help me stand up, my legs feel like molasses.

"Who the fuck is she?" Holden snaps.

Cole turns on him, a firm grip on my arm. "What the fuck are you doing here, Nash?"

Holden... or Nash, I'm not even sure at the moment, is shooting a glare in my direction. Those blue eyes darken and his fists are balled at his sides. I recognize that dark look all too well.

"Was bringing Layla up here and found her." He tilts his head to the side with a wolfish grin forming across his lips while his eyes trail down my body. "I didn't realize you were taking in strays, O'Neil," he quips and any fear I had in me quickly dissipates with anger.

"I'm not a fucking stray," I bite, but it only makes him chuckle.

"Not so scared anymore when you've got O'Neil here, huh?" He taunts. "Who is she, Cole? Some new bitch for the club?"

Cole steps forward, shoving Holden back. "You're fuckin' drunk again aren't you?" He seethes, continuing to push him backward. "I asked you for one thing today and you couldn't even do that. Now you're here? Drunk off your ass and intimidating a woman? What the fuck is wrong with you?" He shoves him once more before Holden finally shoves back.

"Get off me, man. She fuckin' started it." His hand flies out pointing towards me.

The sudden movement makes me flinch but I try to hide it and cross my arms over my chest. The veins in his arm pop as he pushes towards Cole again. My heart is hammering in my chest and I'm trying my best to put on the bravest face I can manage even though I'm biting down on the inside of my cheek to keep the tears from falling. I haven't felt like this in a while and it makes me want to run again.

Cole steps back, shaking his head. "Get out Nash. Go home and sleep off whatever you drank today."

Holden scoffs, stumbling backward. "Fine." He goes to turn as Cole opens his mouth.

"Apologize." Holden scrunches his face like a child when they don't get their way and shakes his head. "Kadence is the new office girl. She's taking over for Becca, so apologize ," Cole grits through clenched teeth.

I watch Holden's body tense at the new name, his face going pale, and it looks like he wants to throw up. Cole crosses his arms. I get the feeling that this happens more often than not and the worry returns as a heavy pit in my stomach. Just like that, Cole's promise of keeping me safe feels weak and fragile.

I watch as his face turns back into a snarl and he stumbles out of the room. "Fuck you, O'Neil," he slurs slamming the door behind him.

Cole stares at the door for a moment listening to the sound of Holden's large frame bouncing down the metal stairs before turning to me. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, I just--wasn't expecting that to happen." I chuckle to break the tension that now invades my space, and even though the laugh is hollow, it makes me feel slightly better as he leads me over to the edge of the bed.

"Holden is... going through something right now." He runs a hand over his face. "Not that it's an excuse for his behavior." He sighs, "It's just complicated."

I laugh. Really laugh, and Cole looks at me like I'm fucking crazy. "I can understand complicated, Cole." If he only knew. "But that was something else." He glances over at me, a tired look washing over him.

Cole fixes his vest. "Get some rest, Kadence. I'll see you in the morning." He turns and heads out of the apartment.

It takes everything I have not to pack up my shit and just leave, but the car means too much to me and a small part of me is tired of running every time I get scared. Instead, I crawl back into bed. My mind starts to wander back to the darkened blue eyes that I can't seem to get out of my head. I recognized the look he had when he stepped towards me, madder than sin and locked on me. But when I recoiled, he looked almost terrified, like the idea that he was going to hurt me physically pained him, and that's the thing that makes me curious.