9. KADENCE

KADENCE

T he sun shines through the window across from the bed, bringing light to the fact that I haven’t slept a wink after Cole left. I can’t get my mind off of Holden and the unmistakable sadness in his eyes that he tries to hide with anger and alcohol; not to mention the fact that they’re the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen on man.

Around 7am I roll out of bed, dragging my exhausted body to the shower. Cole sent me a text earlier letting me know that there’s coffee and plenty of “breakfast shit” in the clubhouse if I wanted to join. A pit of anxiety brews in my stomach when I think about getting close to a motorcycle gang, and it only reminds me of his comment last night about some of the men being too much. For the moment I push the feeling aside, turning on the shower and getting it to the right temperature before undressing and climbing in. A thousand questions run through my mind about the events of last night, all of them landing on one man I shouldn’t feel this need to get to know.

Embarrassment floods me when I remember cowering in front of Holden. Everything happened so fast that I hadn’t realized that he wasn’t trying to hurt me. But I remember that look of darkness. I’ve seen it before, just not weaved with the sadness I’d felt seeping from Holden as Cole pulled me up off the floor. I know Cole is going to have questions too; he has to.

I don’t realize that I’ve made it through the motions of my shower routine until the water starts to run cold, bringing me back from the depths of my mind’s own picture show of the night before.

I step out of the shower, dry off and get ready for the day. I brush my hair, letting the wet locks flow down my back, which create little damp spots on the back of my black tank top, and slip into a pair of shorts. If today was anything like yesterday it was going to be hot and if I’m going to be in the cramped office all day, I want to be somewhat comfortable.

I take one look around, grab my phone, and shove it into my back pocket before leaving the apartment. It’s still early enough that the garage hasn’t opened yet, the big bay doors are still closed and the lot looks like a ghost town.

The row of motorcycles is gone, leaving only a few stragglers and one that I don’t remember seeing from the day before. I don’t really think anything of it as I head over to the clubhouse. As I pull the door open, a waft of stale alcohol and cigarette smoke floods my nostrils. I take a few steps down the hallway, where the room opens up into a large lounge area. To my left is a corner of couches and pool tables. A few men wearing cuts are curled up on the sofas; no doubt sleeping off last night.

I glance to my right, seeing a fully stocked bar, the counter a polished dark wood with dark green stools set underneath it. Behind the bar is another mural of the wolf, this time the words Hell Hounds are painted on either side of it. It’s not howling this time. The wolf sits, its tail wrapped around his hind legs with bright glowing blue eyes that feel familiar to me.

“Mornin’.” Cole’s voice rasps from behind me, still littered with sleep.

I jump slightly at the sound, spinning around with my hand on my chest, laughing nervously. Cole raises a brow for a moment before chuckling.

“Morning.” I respond.

“Are you usually this skittish?” He asks, taking a sip from the black coffee mug in his hand. He’s leaning against the frame of what looks to be a small kitchen behind him. One arm is tucked across his chest, the fabric of his shirt pulling and stretching against his biceps. The fact the shirt is still clinging to his body surprises me.

I frown. “Are you usually this sneaky?” I quip back.

“Yes,” he fires back, taking another sip, hiding the grin spread across his face.

“Maybe we should get you a bell.” I tease, playfully narrowing my eyes at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

Cole laughs, his head tilting back slightly. “That would ruin my element of surprise, Kade.” He smirks and flashes me a wink before standing straight, nudging his head behind him. “You want some coffee?”

I smile shyly, dipping my head down for a moment at the nickname before glancing back up at him. “Yeah, coffee would be great.”

I follow him into the kitchen, sitting down at the table. “So, do you live here?” I ask, leaning back into the wooden chair.

The clubhouse from the outside doesn’t look big, but on the inside, it’s spacious with an entry hallway and another long hallway off of the kitchen that I noticed. A few closed doors and two double doors at the end of the hallway.

He nods as he moves throughout the kitchen, grabbing a mug for me from the cabinet above the sink. “I stay here when I need to,” he confirms, and I get the feeling there’s more to that. I don’t have any right to push for information about him, so instead I hum softly. Cole pours me a cup. “Two sugars and one creamer right?” He asks, glancing over his shoulder at me.

I tilt my head slightly. “How did you—?”

“Between Maggie’s and the office yesterday, you had about ten cups. Hard not to notice after a while.” He shrugs as he rips open two sugar packets and dumps them into the dark liquid.

“You were watching me?” I ask, the anxious pit forming in my lower stomach again as I sit forward in the chair, and as if he can hear the nervousness in my voice, he turns, glancing at me as he pours the cream.

“Not like that—” Cole reassures, setting the cup down in front of me on the table. “I was in the military–Holden and I both were–you learn to pick up on certain cues.” He slides the chair opposite of me out from under the wooden table and sits down, leaning back.

The nervousness doesn’t leave as he watches me try to hide the panic across my face. I don’t want to tell him about what happened or that Jeremy is still a very real threat in my life, and a part of me doesn't want to admit it either because admitting it means my fears are real. But the longer he studies me, the more his gaze feels like a truth serum threatening its way into my veins.

“I see.” I pick up the mug, taking a sip.

His gaze doesn’t let up as he begins to drum his fingers against the ceramic. “What are you runnin’ from, Kade?”

I freeze at the question, the lump in my throat making it difficult to swallow. My eyes meet his pleading for a silent pardon not to have to answer him.

“Nothing,” I whisper, my eyes dropping to my coffee.

“Does nothin’ have a name?” Cole asks gently.

I purse my lips, shaking my head. “Nope.”

He nods, narrowing his eyes for just a moment. “I made you a promise, Kadence, but that’s a hard promise to keep if I don’t know what I might have to protect you from.” Cole’s fingers stop drumming. “Whatever it is, I don’t need to know now. I don’t even need to know today—” He tilts his head to catch my gaze, “—but I can’t have anything threatening the club. You understand what I’m sayin’?”

I nod. “Yeah, Cole, I do.” Sooner or later I know shit is gonna come out but I can’t relive it today. “I don’t want to ruin what you have here, so if it’s better for me to just be a customer, I’ll figure out a different way to get the money for the Comet.”

His brows furrow. “I think you’re a little more than just a customer now, don’t ya think?” Cole takes another sip of his coffee.

I raise a brow. “You realize how kidnappy that sounds, right?”

Cole almost spits out his coffee, coughing once he finally gets a breath in. “I didn’t, until now,” he chokes out between coughs.

I grin, shaking my head softly as the tension begins to dissipate, not fully but enough that I don’t feel the weight of my secrets as much anymore.

“I should get out to the office.” I offer as I stand. “Gotta reorganize your mess.” I tease, grabbing my coffee cup.

Cole grins as he runs his hand over his bearded chin. “You know, Kade. I think you’re gonna fit in just fine here.”

I scoff, leaning against the door frame. “After last night, I think you’re the only one who believes that.”

He winces. “About that…”

“It’s okay, Cole,” I say almost instinctively.

Cole stands so fast that I take a step backward into the hallway, causing him to stop, his face crumples for a moment, realizing just how jumpy I am.

“What Holden did isn’t okay, Kade. His actions were not okay.” He inches towards me, “You know that right?”

I instinctively take another step backward. “I–I know,” I say, and the words don’t even sound convincing to myself as I say them. “I know,” I repeat, forcing the confidence past the lump growing in my throat. “I don’t want to be a wedge, Cole, and last night…”

“Last night.” He stops me. “Holden was drunk off his ass and being an even bigger one. That’s not anything you should be apologizing for.” Another fatherly sigh leaves his lips and his hands find that dip in his waist again. “I’m not excusing what he did. I’ll talk to him.”

“Cole, you don’t—”

“Kadence, if you apologize for his behavior, I’ll fire you.” He threatens, his eyes softening with a hint of playfulness and it makes me laugh gently to hide the nervousness.

“Okay.”

A door down the hallway swings open, making both Cole and me glance toward the noise. We watch as Holden stumbles his way out of the room, backwards, missing the shirt he was wearing last night and a smug grin plastered on his sleep-swollen face. His jeans hang low on his hips, giving view to the sharp V of his waist. I swallow again, and my eyes flicker up to his face. The stubble has grown a little thicker overnight, casting a shadow over the edges of his jawline, and even though he looks exhausted, I can still see how blue his eyes are from this distance.

Holden laughs, mumbling something as a short blonde leans against the doorway and I have to fight the urge to roll my eyes. It’s not the same woman from last night, and even though I shouldn’t be, a small thought passes my mind of what his adonis would feel like under the weight of my touch.

Cole clears his throat, standing next to me. “Holden.” Dark brows furrow as bright eyes glance down the hallway. They briefly connect with mine and I hate that I can feel the heat creep up the back of my neck under the penance of his glare.

I watch as a flicker of darkness casts over his eyes before he smugly leans against the wall of the hallway. “Cole, you’ve met Jane?” The gravel of his voice carries down the hallway, hitting me like a sack of bricks.

Jane waves at the two of them with a soft morning smile. Annoyance begins to flood my chest, watching Holden smirk. He hasn’t stopped staring at me, and even as Cole sighs, his eyes don’t leave mine.

“Yeah, we’ve met. Hello, Jane.”

“Hi, Cole,” she mutters before disappearing back into the room.

Holden makes it a point to watch her walk back into the room, tilting his head to admire whatever body part his mind was objectifying. Before I can even stop myself, a small scoff leaves my lips, and I roll my eyes. Holden grins, his head tilting towards me.

“Mornin’, Princess,” he says, sarcasm dripping from the haunting pet name as he saunters towards me and Cole. “Sleep well?” He asks, leaning forward with narrowed eyes and a look that makes the hand at my side ball into a fist and white knuckle the mug in my hand.

I turn to Cole. “I’m gonna head out to the office,” I say as he nods, eyeing the stupid grin on Holden’s face.

“Yeah, alright. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do,” I say, glancing back at Holden once more before heading out of the clubhouse. It takes everything in me not to throw the mug against the ground as I let the wooden door slam behind me. Who the hell does he think he is and why does he go from looking like a sad lost puppy to the biggest ass I’ve met?

The rumble of a motorcycle sounds behind me as I head across the parking lot to the shop. I spin, seeing an older man with chin-length dark graying hair that looks like it hadn’t been washed in a couple of days pull in next to the other bikes. I watch as he climbs off, peeling the dark black sunglasses from his face. He’s got a few scars on his cheeks that I notice and try not to stare at. His cut is worn and looks like he’s had it for years; the leather is dull and the Hell Hounds MC patches are faded.

“And who might you be darlin’?” He asks, the Scottish accent thick like he has a mouthful of molasses. The man struts toward me and I realize he’s wearing an O’Neil’s Towing and Garage shirt under his cut.

“I’m Kadence.”

“Kadence…” My name rolls off his tongue and it makes me smile. “I’ve never seen you here before, love. You gettin’ your car fixed?”

“Sorta, you could say that.” I laugh. “My car broke down. Cole’s helping me get it fixed and in return, I’m helping him out in the shop.”

He nods, glancing back to the clubhouse before landing back on me. “Sounds like something that O’Neil would do.” He grins. “I’m Scottie.”

“Nice to meet you, Scottie. It looks like we’re gonna be workin’ together?” I ask, tilting my cup towards his shirt.

Scottie smiles again, the scars on his cheeks moving perfectly with the curvature of his mouth. “Looks like it, lass. If you need anything, just holler for me.”

We both begin to walk towards the shop, he gives me an encouraging nod towards the office as he goes to open the bay doors.

“Thanks,” I say, heading inside.

I glance around at the office again. The stacks of paper are all strewn about still, haphazardly, and as if they just get scattered or migrate about the room instead of actually filed. Something tells me that Cole’s office management skills aren’t his strong suit. I take a sip of my coffee before sitting down at the desk, finding a small empty spot to place my mug before starting to rifle through the paperwork. Separating bills and organizing old work orders.

The shop starts bustling, and I can hear music begin to play at one point. Men yelling and laughing from behind the closed shop door. I remember Cole dropping in to refill my coffee cup at one point, but my hyperfocus kicks in and I don’t realize that two hours have passed until the sound of heavy boots hit the floor in front of me.

I glance up, seeing a more awake Holden and like a nervous tick, I feel the annoyance creeping back in. “Can I help you?” I bite through a forced smile.

Holden shakes his head, plopping down onto the small couch. His feet kick up onto the corner of the desk, narrowly missing knocking over the stack of paperwork I just organized. He purses his lips, shaking his head.

“No.” He pauses. “Well, you can tell me how you somehow swindled my best friend into giving you a job and free housing,” he muses, his tongue flicking over his bottom lip.

“Hmm,” I hum. “See, I didn’t swindle Cole out of anything. He offered. So you should probably get your facts straight before accusing me of whatever it is you’re accusing me of.”

I stand, taking a step forward to move from behind the desk and past him, but when he doesn’t move his legs and just stares up at me with a smug smile, I huff and push his feet down. His boots land on the floor with a thud.

“You got a last name, Kadie?” He questions.

My body freezes at the name my mother always uses. I pull open the filing cabinet, wanting to ignore him, but he huffs and I hear him move behind me.

“It’s Kadence,” I grit through a clenched jaw, spinning around to see him leaning against the desk.

Holden narrows his eyes again “Okay,” he drawls. “Kadence. You got a last name?”

I stare at him. I can feel the anger in myself beginning to bubble with every precise push of my buttons that he can do. “Not for you I don’t. What do you want, Holden?”

“I want to know where you came from.”

“Not gonna happen,” I say shortly. “So unless you need keys for a car or a work order or something, I can’t help you right now.”

He laughs. Laughs . I know it’s to piss me off, but the noise is sweet and I hate it. “Where did you come from?” Holden asks again with a raised brow. I can’t tell if he’s being sincere or not as I go to move around him.

“Why are you suddenly so interested in me?” I all but yell as I catch his gaze, my brows furrow and my neck is starting to get the splotchy red spots from me trying to keep my anger down. “You seemed pretty busy last night,” I pause, “and this morning. So if you’re looking to have a busy afternoon, Holden, I’m not it.”

Holden just grins at me, his eyes narrowing again like he’s studying me or carefully considering his next words. “You jealous, Darlin’?” He finally says and it comes out as smooth as smoke, kicking off the desk and taking a step towards me.

Normally, I’d flinch or shy away, but after last night, I can’t let him win. I won’t let him win or give him any ounce of satisfaction that he’s gotten under my skin, although I’m pretty sure at this point I’ve failed at that.

He leans towards me, his hand resting against the file cabinet behind me. The heat of his body radiates against my own and I can smell the sandalwood and spice on his skin. He must have showered before coming to irritate me. Holden reaches up, and for a moment, I feel like he’s about to touch me, and my body fills with anticipation. Instead, he pushes back the fallen strands of his own hair behind his ear.

“Because if you are, all you have to do is ask,” he rasps.

I suck in a breath, which doesn’t help because I just get another full-bodied smell of him, and my skin starts to tingle. A wave of confidence washes over me as I run the pad of my index finger along the middle of his chest, flattening my hand against the hard muscle there and narrowing my eyes back at him.

“Tell me, Holden, do you usually put your dick into anything or is it a whole, oh woe is me deal?” Up close his eyes are ice blue and turn colder with my words. I push him backward, just hard enough that he steps out of my space. A part of me is a little surprised that he lets me.

“Grow up, Holden,” I mutter, moving past him and grabbing my mug. I have to get out of this room before either of us do or say something we both regret.

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” he spits, making me turn back towards him. I see the same anger and sadness from last night wash over his features.

“Neither do you.” I agree, stepping out of the shop. Still feeling his heated gaze on my back, my eyes squeeze shut and I suck in the first steadying breath I’ve needed in a while.