42. KADENCE

KADENCE

" W hy are you packing a tent?" I ask, stepping up to Holden's bike as he finishes strapping down a pack behind my seat. He reaches for my backpack and tucks it into one of his saddlebags before answering me with a mischievous grin.

"I told you I had plans." Holden shrugs as he reaches for me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. "Now stop asking questions. I'm a steel vault, baby." He smirks.

I laugh. "Alright, alright, I'll quit asking...if you let me drive the bike."

His head tilts back letting out a laugh as his hand falls to his pec. "Sweetheart, it's backpack life for you until I can find an empty lot to teach you."

I raise a brow and step out of his embrace. "What makes you think I can't ride?"

He waggles his brows. "Baby, I know you can ride ." My mouth gapes open with a gasp as I shove him playfully, forcing him to wince away with a shit-eating grin. The gall of this man. "It's a long drive, Sunflower." He relents with a sigh.

"Fine," I huff. His finger hooks into my belt loop as he pulls me back to him.

"How about this?" He cups my cheeks, dipping his head to catch my gaze. "When we get to Santa Barbara, I'll find us an empty lot and teach you."

My chest flutters with excitement. "Promise?"

Without hesitation he holds up his pinky with a sly crooked grin. "Promise."

I smile linking our pinkies together.

"Hey, Andrews!" Wolfe calls out across the compound. He jogs towards us, waving what looks like a phone in his hand. My brows furrow as he stops in front of us and holds it out. "Got you a new phone," he says with a nod. "Programmed Nash, Cole, and myself in there."

My fingers wrap around the device, taking it from him. I know exactly why they did it but I never expected them to actually take care of this for me. "Thank you," I mutter. "Blake?"

Wolfe raises a brow and laughs shaking his head. "She caught me five minutes into setting it up. You think I got away without putting her number in there?"

That makes me laugh as Holden's arms wrap around me from behind. "Thanks, Dex."

He nods, tossing a glance to Holden over my shoulder. “When we get back, we should turn your phone back on.”

“Hey,” Holden’s low voice rumbles behind me. “Give it a rest, yeah? At least for the next few days.”

“We’ve given it a rest for a while now, Nash. We need to know–”

“Wolfe,” Holden’s voice booms, forcing me to tense in his arms. He must have sensed this because, for a moment, his arms tighten around my waist before loosening again. “Please brother, one good weekend away from this shit, that’s all I’m askin’.”

Wolfe’s eyes flicker between us and I force a small smile onto my lips, wishing that the tension that spreads between the two of them wasn’t always down to my safety. The last thing I want to do is to have the guys fight over how to handle me. It wasn’t the way to keep the club safe and focused if they were constantly pitted against one another.

"When we get back." I confirm with a nod before holding the phone back out to him. "Do me a favor? Take our picture?"

Holden dips his head, burying his nose into the crook of my neck. I feel his lips curl against my skin before he presses a gentle kiss to the spot just below my ear. "Why the photo?"

"I need a new phone background for that phone don't I?" I mutter, leaning back into his chest grinning as he nuzzles further against my neck.

"Mmm," he hums, and the vibrations send chills down my spine, my smile growing. I nudge him as Wolfe holds up the phone, his brows scrunched together as he focuses on taking the picture.

“Nash, don't be an animal. Look at the camera.”

I glance up at him over my shoulder feeling his fingers dig into the softness of my belly where he holds me. His eyes flicker down to my own as he smiles softly. Nothing but adoration glints back but I knew something else was hidden beneath that. Something deeper and something I feel in my own soul.

I'm in love with him and I had no doubt that, no matter what the world was about to throw at us, I would pick Holden every damn time.

"There," Wolfe says gruffly, holding my phone back out. "Now if you two are done honeymooning, we should start heading out."

With a sigh, Holden drops his arms from around me but not before planting a kiss on the top of my head. "You gonna be warm enough?" He asks with his eyes roaming down my body. A flicker of heat ignites in my core as those bright blue eyes meet mine.

I glance down at my outfit, tearing my gaze away from him in fear that if I stare too long, we will never get out of here on time. I wasn't going to miss the chance of getting actual alone time with him without the club constantly around. My black jeans are snug against my legs with just enough stretch that the long drive on the back of his bike shouldn't be too bad. As usual, I'm wearing my favorite pair of combat boots combined with an old band tee. Holden's hoodie sits on my seat waiting for me.

"I'll be fine." I smile and reach for his hoodie to slip it on.

Even though it’s warm I know as soon as we get on the road, I'll be wind chilled within minutes. Holden's large frame helps block out the wind for the most part, but there is no way in hell I am going to be the one to make them all stop because I'm cold.

Once I'm situated and swimming in his hoodie, he hands me an extra helmet. I smile seeing the newly painted sunflower on the back of it and look up at him. "What's this?"

Holden smiles sheepishly and shrugs. "I might have asked Falcone to paint it on there."

Butterflies explode in my stomach as I run my finger along the flower. It might just be a small painted symbol but to me it feels like a promise.

I can't answer him with the emotions stuck in my throat. The realization that Holden isn't going anywhere and even more he doesn't want me to go anywhere.

He must sense that words are hard to come by because he reaches for me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, and tugs me to his chest pressing his lips in my hair. "You don't have to say anything, Sunflower. It's just a helmet."

I let out a soft teary laugh and shake my head. "It's not just a helmet, Nash."

He pulls back and smiles down at me. "No, it's not." Holden gently takes the helmet from my hands and slips it over my head. His fingers drag down my jaw and to my chin to buckle it with a smile and a look in his eyes I can't quite place but I know it's only for me.

"Have you seen Cole this morning?" I ask, realizing he hadn't been on the lot when we came down and his bike was still in its spot.

Holden nods tugging on my chinstrap. "He's giving Trey a rundown of security before we head out."

"You think Stokes or Watson are going to do something while we're gone?"

"I'd bet on it, but the plan is to lay low."

I worry my bottom lip between my teeth. Even if the guys lay low at the compound, the six of us on the road were still open targets. It isn't a matter of whether or not I feel unsafe with the three men that I know would protect me. It's a matter of those men doing whatever it takes to protect me and their family that scares me. That familiar weight in my stomach starts to grow in heaviness again and extinguishes any ember his touch had ignited within me.

"Baby." His hands frame my face. "You start thinkin' any harder, I'm gonna be able to hear those thoughts." Holden's eyes flicker between mine, searching them and I know I'm not going to be able to hide from him. I never have been.

"What if something happens?"

His brows knit together and he shakes his head. "Trey has strict orders to keep everyone in the compound. The guys are here to work, no runs, and Marlowe is closing Moon for the weekend. Everyone is holding up here." His thumbs gently stroke over my cheekbones. "Stokes can't do shit if everyone is here."

"Or he'll be shooting fish in a barrel," I mutter softly, causing the corners of his mouth to twitch up.

"They're gonna be fine, Sunflower." He brushes his lips against mine before fully kissing me softly, doing everything he can to ease away my anxiety. "Stokes knows better than to stop us when we leave if he wants to keep his cash flow coming in."

"You'll be safe with all of us." His head drops a little to catch my gaze. "Okay? I won't let anything happen to you but you need to stay close to me."

The warning at the end of his words makes me shift on my feet. "I'll be glued to your side." I tease trying to ease the tension growing up my spine but he shakes his head.

"I'm serious, Kade, not all clubhouses are like ours. These men know better than to touch what isn't theirs. The Rollin' Skulls are a harsher club, so unless you are not with me, you'll be with Blake."

I nod as the rest of the crew begins to gather around us, all suiting up for the drive. It won't take us more than a few hours to arrive at the other clubhouse but it's a few hours of the low simmering anxiety in my stomach I'm not looking forward to. The one saving grace I'm banking on is being able to hold him the whole time. Being able to wrap around him has a way of bringing a sense of calm to me. I need it right now as I fight to hold onto the confidence I had this morning the closer we are to leaving.

"Everything will be fine," he reassures again, kissing my forehead as if he can read my mind. His lips graze my skin down to the tip of my nose where he leaves another kiss and then another soft one to my lips.

"You guys ready?" Cole asks, making his way to his bike.

Holden takes one last glance at me waiting for an answer. I barely nod but it's enough that he responds to Cole. "Yeah."

Everyone climbs onto their bikes. Wyatt and Blake joke and push each other around while Wolfe sits thoughtfully on his bike, slipping his helmet over his head until the hardened look in his eyes is disguised under his visor. Holden throws his leg over his own bike, settling onto it before holding a hand out for me. I swallow hard and take his hand climbing on behind him. I scoot as close as I can get to him and wrap my arms around his waist.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Cole glance in our direction. Something in his gaze catches my attention as I turn to fully look at him. He flashes me a weak smile, his eyes flickering between myself and Holden with something deeper hidden under his blue gaze. Something akin to want and regret.

Cole starts his bike, setting off the chorus of engines roaring to life around me and within minutes we're filtering out of the main compound gate and onto the road. Cole rides up front with Holden and Wolfe riding side by side behind him. Blake and Wyatt flank us in the van, all making sure we're safe and not followed. I settle against Holden's back, resting my cheek on his shoulder while I watch Pine River rip by us in a flash.

Town turns to trees and soon the trees turn into long winding roads of open fields. I recognize the spot I broke down over a month ago, and it only makes me realize how much things have changed. How one month feels like a year. It's crazy to me that only a short time ago I felt lost. I had no plans of where I was going, where my last stop would take me but now? Now I can't picture being anywhere else. That sense of being lost has faded and the foreboding hold I had in my heart has slowly started to fill to the brim.

Images of Holden and I in bed over the last few mornings and nights start to surface. The two of us tangled together, talking and laughing about little things. I never experienced that with Jeremy. He never took the time to ask me questions, not even when we first started dating. Holden wants to know everything, and even as I told him about my dad, my car and a million other little things, I knew what we have is different. Holden wants me for me . He doesn't care whether I'm the perfect girlfriend, a trophy wrapped in floral dresses and drinking one glass of wine at events I had no interest in.

Holden wants me for the mess I am. The girl who wears ratty old band t-shirts and shorts, once called too slutty by a small man, were now Holden's favorite. He wants the girl who prefers combat boots over heels. The one that finally stands up for herself.

My arms tighten around him as the thoughts swirl through my mind. I know I'm in love with him. I also know that if whatever we had would end up in heartbreak, that the cracks I would feel would kill me. I feel his hand rest over mine as he drives and soon his fingers interlock with my own, resting comfortably over his abdomen.

We ride like this for a while until the roads deem it necessary to have both his hands on the handles. Every once in a while he reaches back, resting a hand on my knee and giving it a soft squeeze before trailing it down my calf. A silent form of comfort that sends butterflies tornado-ing through my chest and one I was quickly becoming addicted to.

As the sun begins to set over the horizon, we reach Santa Barbara. I peer over his shoulder as we ride down the 101, glimpses of the ocean flicker through the palm trees and buildings. The lights from the wharf burn bright even during the evening sun and a pang of excitement runs through me at the idea of spending a day with him there. I still have no idea what he has planned for our day together but whatever it is I have no doubt I'll enjoy it.

I see Cole signal to our left before turning onto a side street towards the marina. After another few moments we pull into a compound similar to our own. A large fenced gate blocked by black slats shoved between the fence rungs to block out any unwanted witnesses. The compound back home had the same, only the slats were blue. The gate slides open with a whine as we pull through finding a row of empty spots to park.

I notice over my shoulder a group of men loitering by what I assume is the clubhouse door. Gazes flicker between the six of us, some with grins and others with hardened glares too stoney to read.

I feel a tap on my thigh that signals me to hop off his bike as Holden kicks down the stand. My hands roam to his shoulders and I throw my leg over the side for the first time in hours, planting my feet steady on the asphalt.

He looks up at me, giving me a soft side smile as I steady myself. He helps me with my helmet, and despite having my arms wrapped around him for the past few hours, I step to him, wrap my arms around his shoulders, and move to my tiptoes to kiss him.

His lips are still a little cold from being wind bitten but I don't mind. Ultimately they were his and even if they felt like ice cubes I'd spend hours warming them up on my own if I had to. A low rumble forms in his throat as he kisses me back, his hands grip my hips and tug me closer.

“What was that for?” He asks, a sly grin spreading over his features.

I shake my head, not ready to spill every feeling I have for him right now. “No reason.”

Holden smiles as if knowing there is more, but instead of pressing, he takes my hand and leads me over to the rest of our group. Wolfe is already peering around us, his eyes scanning each person in the lot, assessing any potential dangers while Cole rolls his shoulders, tilting his head from side to side to stretch out his stiff muscles.

"There's a lot fewer members here than I would have expected," Cole observes. "I figured he'd have a whole army lined up outside."

"Yeah, well we haven't been inside yet," Wolfe growls, tension rolling through him.

"He won't want attention, man," Holden counters, squeezing my hand. "Having a whole club here at once brings a lot of eyes to an area like this."

The clubhouse isn't far from the main drag, just tucked off into a small industrial fishing area next to the marina but still enough of it was out in the open that people knew it was here and if I had to guess, that was purposeful.

All of our eyes flicker over to the clubhouse as the hum of voices slowly quiets down, and the main door creaks open. A man steps out, his dreads are pulled back into a loose knot on the top of his head, he's got markings on his face I have never seen on anyone else. Not quite tattoos and not quite scars, but raised skin marked there for purpose. His caramel skin almost glows under the sunset as he makes his way towards us.

I stand firmly at Holden's side, hands still intertwined as a quiet nervousness begins to twist its way up my legs, holding me in place. The man approaches with the same stoic look as the men that flank him. A more than uncomfortable silence falls between both groups, each assessing and sizing the other up.

After what seems like minutes the man's stoney gaze cracks and a smile forms over his face. I glance over at Cole who stands toe to toe with the man. His own smile creeps across his features until the new man finally speaks.

"O'Neil." He breathes out a laugh as he pulls Cole into an embrace, thumping his back a few times.

"Havoc," Cole replies, returning the masculine hug and pushing him back slightly, holding onto his shoulders. "Been too long, brother."

"Far too long." Havoc steps back from him as he glances at all of us standing behind Cole. His eyes land on me for far longer than I like and, assuming from the way Holden tugs me further into his side, it was far longer than he liked as well. "Good to see you all."

Holden only nods his reply while the rest offer a smile or, in Wolfe's case a curt nod and a scowl.

"We've got a lot to talk about but tonight we relax. Leave business for the morning," Havoc speaks, his voice an octave higher, catching the attention of all the other members surrounding us. "O'Neil, Nash, a word first?"

Cole nods, moving to follow Havoc as they make their way back to the clubhouse. Holden turns to me pressing a kiss to the side of my hair before motioning to Blake. "She doesn't leave your side," he says firmly.

"Stuck on me like glue," Blake replies with a nod.

It's the first time I've ever seen her without a smirk on her face or her normal teasing of Holden being too protective. It was with that nod that I knew this place was different, that the men aren't the same as the ones from home and that, even with the semi-warm welcome we had received, everyone needed to watch our backs.

Holden nods again, reluctant to let go of me. I kiss him again trying to reassure him I'll be fine but it's unconvincing as I tug my hand from his. "Go," I say softly. "I'll be here when you're done."

A smile flickers over his features though it doesn't reach his eyes. The stress radiates off of him in waves as he takes a step back from me and moves to catch up with the guys. Leaving Blake and I on our own in the lot surrounded by bikers neither of us knew.