CHAPTER 18

“Long Story Short” – Taylor Swift

WHEN LUCA DOESN’T ANSWER HIS door, I start wondering if he already checked out of the resort. Since I never knew when he’d be leaving.

I tell myself to think like Georgia. Aka: logically. And once I’m able to, I think of one place that he could be.

I don’t know why, but the hiking spot we went was the first place that popped into my head. After all, he’s been running recently, and this seems like a good place to run.

When I get there, I find him on the same trail we walked together. He’s facing away from me, looking out at the view of the ocean that’s sparkling. His chest is visibly rising and falling from exertion. Did I mention he’s shirtless? Covered in so much sweat that it looks like he just took a shower. And the way the muscles in his back are flexing— Wait. He’s turning around. Shit.

I quickly run out of view and back toward the resort.

Well that went great …

Now covered in plenty of my own sweat once I’m back in my suite bed, I stare at the ceiling and exhale, before closing my eyes in frustration.

Why couldn’t I say anything? I had no problem talking to Luca before. Why the sudden shift?

Oh right. It’s because now he’s become a crush in my mind.

Which means I’ll be behaving irrationally the way I always do, unless I decide to stop .

All I’m remembering now is every time I’d psych myself out of going up to my crush throughout my entire life. During a football game. After a lecture. At the few parties I went to.

Not wanting this to turn out how those situations did, I immediately sit back up, more confidently this time, and don’t even bother to freshen up.

While I’m getting up, I hear a knock on my door.

As soon as I open it, I regret at least not fixing my hair that once again looks like a tornado. Especially since it looks like Luca is fresh out of the shower. At least he smells good enough for the both of us.

He smiles timidly. “Hi.”

This reminds me of our conversation from the day after the wedding. Except even more vulnerable. I also can’t think of anything else to say, so I’m glad he’s giving me some inspiration. “Hi,” I say back, while we continue to stand by the doorway. “I heard that you spoke to Enrique,” I add once some coherent words reenter my brain.

“Yeah, about that,” he says, holding eye contact the way only he knows how.

Instead of letting him speak, my curiosity takes over. “So he knows he was my first kiss,” I declare with a nervous chuckle.

Luca’s brows quickly crease. “What? I didn’t tell him that. ”

“You didn’t?” I feel taken aback, but maybe I shouldn’t be.

“You told me not to,” he says with a gaze that’s so sincere, it fills me with some guilt for even doubting him for a second. And for showing even a trace of annoyance at Enrique over something that he still wasn’t aware of.

“I know,” I say. “I’m just surprised you didn’t.”

“It wasn’t my business to tell him,” he says confidently, like this should be the most obvious thing in the world.

I love how Luca keeps reminding me that it’s okay to set boundaries for myself. “Thank you,” I express, feeling grateful for sharing something like this with the right person.

But what did Luca tell him then?

I clarify, “I just got confused since he said you told him everything .”

“Yeah, I told him that I wanted to kiss you,” he says with a smile that’s so bright, it dissipates all the previous awkwardness around us.

“So you wanted to kiss me then?” I repeat, almost in disbelief.

“I really, really wanted to,” Luca says, his eyes somehow turning even more blue, as I bite down on my beaming smile. “I also told him how I tried to but then stopped so that I could tell him how I felt about you first.”

“Felt about me?” My heartbeat speeds at his words.

“I told him that unfortunately I like you… a lot .” Luca’s entire face lights up at his revelation.

“Do you now?” I tease, unable to help myself.

His expression fades a bit, his voice turning more serious. “Up until the night before the wedding, I was trying to process all my feelings, and I was so frustrated because I didn’t know what to do. With how things ended with my last relationship, with Enrique also liking you, and most of all how you felt about him. I thought you really wanted to be with him.”

“I did. But that changed when I got to spend more time with you.” I try to gather my thoughts. “I was excited that Enrique and I had a second chance after all these years that it felt like finally living out a fantasy I once had.” My voice grows shaky, not used to being this direct with my feelings. “But the reality was that I didn’t feel the fraction of what I felt around him that I felt when I was with you.”

Luca’s cheeks fill with a warmth, pleased at my confession. “I also felt guilty for liking you when someone so close to me also had feelings for you. That’s never happened to me before.” His shoulders tense up. “On my way to the gym yesterday, I saw you two together and when you said that nothing happened between us, I got confused and didn’t want to jeopardize everything if you didn’t feel the same way, regardless of how I felt. And then you got jealous of my friend…” He gives me a side grin, his seriousness fading a bit.

Now I’m blushing. “I did not get jealous,” I say coyly, even though I damn well know I was extremely jealous.

“It’s funny because she actually is just a friend, and I didn’t bring her to get back at you. She needed a ride so it was just weird timing.” He smirks. “It worked though. With the speech you gave me.”

When he bites down on the corner of his mouth, I don’t know if I want to scoff or interrupt the conversation altogether and just kiss him. Instead, I sigh at the reminder of what else I potentially told him that night. “So you also heard that I like you.”

“Yes, but just so we’re clear, I liked you before you told me. I’ve liked you since the first day that I met you,” he says with a glimmer in his eyes .

“Okay, now you’re just trying to make me feel better,” I say.

“No, it’s true,” he says. “I didn’t tell you that we could have met before at the beginning because I was scared of what could have happened. And that’s because I knew that I liked spending time with you. I wasn’t ready. And I didn’t want to screw things up.”

So he didn’t want to screw things up with me ?

He pauses, reading my eyes for a moment. “You caught me by surprise. The best surprise of my life honestly.”

I can’t say anything. And that’s definitely a first. My smile’s just too deep right now.

“Okay…” Luca shrugs, while chuckling. “What?”

“Nothing.” I shrug back coyly.

If Luca just said he liked me back, I’d still be a bit surprised, solely for the fact that this has never happened to me. Having feelings that are reciprocated for the first time. But the way he’s telling me everything, the way each word is slipping off his lips, coming from his voice , it’s tugging at the heartstrings that I didn’t even know I had.

When a strand of my hair falls in my face, Luca immediately tucks it behind my ear. I feel his touch all the way down to my toes, reminding myself to swallow the lump in the back of my throat when his eyes flicker to my lips.

“I think the hardest part for me was holding back all the times that I wanted to kiss you,” he says. “I’ve lost track at how many it’s been actually.”

Oh …

He licks his lips agonizingly slowly. “When you sang Taylor Swift’s songs worse than I do. When we woke up together and you felt so perfect laying on my chest.” I gasp at this revelation, thinking that Luca hadn’t even realized the position we’d been in. My heart flutters, knowing he felt exactly the same as I did. “When you told me how hard you’re trying to push yourself even when it feels discouraging.”

He takes a deep breath and reaches out to gently grasp my hand. Chills erupt all over my body as he adds, “And especially that night when you hugged me for the first time. Just when you were about to let go, all I wanted was to pull you back into my arms and kiss your lips. The next morning when I saw you again, that’s all that was on my mind. I couldn’t even look at you. I thought that would help me get over what I was feeling. But the second we started talking again and just hearing your voice, looking into your eyes the way I was desperately trying not to, I couldn’t take it anymore—”

And I can’t take another second without feeling his lips on mine.

I dive right into him the way you’d do the second a race kicks off, and cut off his sentence with the kiss I’ve wanted to give him since that first week.

Just like our first hug, my sudden unexpected gesture prevents Luca from reacting right away. But when his arms finally wrap around my waist, I smile into his lips as his curve against mine. The built-up tension is so consuming it’s as if we both don’t know where to place our hands first. So I reach down his sides, and he travels up my shoulders.

It’s a kiss where you feel the most invigorating sparks leap from all around you. One that you don’t want for it to end, and you don’t quite remember how it started, you just know the only moment you’ll even think of pulling away is to get enough oxygen to continue. It’s a kiss that feels like the last first kiss you ever want to have.

A flutter from my heart while his fingers graze over my neck. The rise of his chest when my hands trace the edges of his jaw. A pool of heat down my stomach from the brush of his hips against mine. The catch in his breath from my impatient sighs.

His lips aren’t just touching mine. There’s intention behind each push. Each pull. His upper lip slipping in between my slightly parted ones, softly tugging on my bottom lip so gently before letting go, only to move his mouth to another place on my mouth, to another angle, another pressure. And doing it. Over. And over again. It’s gentle but anxious. Sweet but hot. And so addicting .

I may have started the kiss, but he’s showing me that everything I imagined about his lips was more than true. Already feeling like I’m bursting at the seams, a small moan escapes from my lips and into his mouth when the tip of his warm tongue dances over mine. Hearing him groan in response is so sensual that I would have lost my balance if his hands weren’t tightly curled around my lower back. My fingers by default cling onto his golden strands, pressing his weight closer to me, frantically wanting to feel so much more of him.

When we both pull away for air, I gasp while pretending to walk away. “Uh, I’m gonna go lay down before I fall down.”

“No need. I’ll catch you.” Luca smirks as he scoops me into his arms, making my knees go weak before he’s even kissed me again. “The bar is playing live music tonight, and I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go with me?”

I just kiss him again…

After I let go, his lips curve to the side. “So was that a maybe?”

I snort before he pulls me back into a third kiss.

________ _

It’s too late to call Georgia right now, but there’s no way I’m not telling her right this instant. My fingers shake as I type arguably the most important message I’ve ever sent her my entire life:

Jasmine: Luca and I kissed. AHHH I’m losing my fucking mind rn...sorry I couldn’t wait to call you

While struggling to look for something to wear tonight, I’m surprised to find my red cocktail dress, almost forgetting that I even brought it with me. Not as surprised as how confident I now feel to finally wear it.

After putting it on, I notice how it hugs almost all of my curves, my heartbeat immediately spiking at the anticipation of Luca seeing me in it soon.

When my phone vibrates, it’s flooded with messages from Georgia:

Georgia: Are you kidding me?!! How was it? Is that all you did? Is he a good kisser?

Jasmine: It was unreal. Better than I imagined. And he’s an incredible kisser...

Georgia: Is that all you did?

Jasmine: LMAO I love how you asked me that twice

Georgia: I love how you’re ignoring me twice

Jasmine: So far yes. Hopefully not for too long though

Georgia: It wouldn’t kill you to show some excitement

Jasmine: LOL

After running late per usual and telling Luca I’d meet him at the bar, I almost gasp when I spot him sitting at a candle-lit table, wearing a white linen dress shirt and navy pants .

I forget all about the guitar melodies filling the air. I forget about the twinkling lights covering the entire patio. The same ones that I couldn’t stop focusing on when I first got here.

I only see him.

Walking to our table with butterflies jumping from all corners of my stomach, I say, “Sorry I’m late. This is kind of a big deal for me. And I may have spent a little too much time getting ready.”

We don’t even need a candle when his smile lights up the entire place.

Luca gets up to pull out my chair as I take my seat, so nervous that little gestures like this would have slipped from my mind. Yet I’m grateful he remembers them, before he takes his seat again. “It’s a big deal for me as well,” he says. “And you look stunning.”

It’s nice to hear that he cares as much as I do.

As he glances down at my dress in awe, I blush. “I’d prefer not to comment on how you look to not further embarrass myself.” When he chuckles, I just shrug nonchalantly. “You look good, I guess.”

He smirks. “Do you want a drink?”

“Yes please, but I don’t really feel like having any alcohol tonight.”

“Two virgin mojitos it is,” Luca gestures with his fingers.

I gesture back toward him. “ Obviously my favorite drink.”

After he orders the drinks, he looks at me with pursed lips. “Shit. I knew I forgot something.”

“What?”

He claps his hands. “The extra garnish .”

I roll my eyes and snort. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Jokes on me actually because your concoction doesn’t taste half bad. ”

“I’m glad you finally understand the madness.”

When our salads arrive, my butterflies have somehow traveled all the way up to my fingertips as the lemon slice I’m holding slips from my hand. It lands right into the cup of dressing next to my plate, covering my chest with the mixture of olive oil and herbs, and splashing onto Luca’s shirt from across the table. In my defense, why the fuck was the lemon slice big enough to be an entire full lemon?

Luca’s face is creased so intensely that I feel a negative reaction from him coming. Is he pissed that I ruined his shirt? Annoyed at my clumsiness once again? My father’s voice echoes in my head in this moment, remembering his reaction every time I would make the smallest slip-up as a child. I expect it now from Luca, an automatic, almost conditioned expectation from what I grew up believing was normal.

Panic rises in my chest, but before I can profusely apologize to Luca, he bursts into laughter. I exhale a breath, and let myself giggle along with him. He’s not your father , I remind myself. He’s Luca . The man I’ve fallen in love with. And his reaction to this moment proves that perfectly.

Luca gets up from his chair as I struggle to clean the dressing off my skin.

He almost kneels down in front of me, not helping the shaking state my hands are still in. “Jasmine, what are we gonna do with you?” He smirks. “I really should have worn my Hazmat suit.”

I scoff. “That’s not the way I wanted to ruin your shirt…”

He bites down on his bottom lip, while helping wipe the pieces off my chest. “It wasn’t? What did you have in mind then?” He locks his mischievous eyes with mine.

“When you stop looking at me like that , maybe I’ll think of something,” I whisper, low enough for only him to hear. It’s surprising that I even manage to say this, with the way his fingers were gently brushing over my chest a second ago.

Once Luca sits back in his chair and reaches for his drink, his brows furrow even deeper as he looks into his glass. “I didn’t know my virgin mojito came with even more garnish.”

I lean forward to look at his cup, and sure enough find more pieces of my salad dressing in his drink. I laugh in frustration. “I wonder how many tables got a chance to taste my dressing.” My eyes immediately widen at my terrible phrasing. “My salad dressing.”

Luca almost chokes on his drink. “I have no words.”

As we finish the Spanish churros with hot chocolate that we ordered for dessert, he asks, “Have you told Georgia about us?”

“Us?” I repeat, the word making my heart flutter.

“Yeah, that we…” He licks his bottom lip seductively. “Kissed.”

The words rolling off his tongue has me replaying every second of said kiss from just a couple hours ago.

“I might’ve said something to her,” I say coyly.

“Which means you gave her a detailed play-by-play.” He smirks.

I can’t help the giggle that comes out of my mouth. “You know me too well.”

“Not well enough ,” he says as he takes the last sip of his drink, keeping his eyes fixed on mine.

Heat curls up my lower belly at the implication of his words. I have nothing to say. The number of times this man has left me speechless is absurd. So I change the subject. “By the way, you shocked me a little today.”

Luca leans forward. “How so?”

“When you told me that you liked me. I was a little surprised that you felt the same way. Like at the game when I kissed Enrique you didn’t even look like you cared.”

“Oh I cared …” His jaw ticks. “I cared so much that I couldn’t even bring myself to watch.” My eyes are glued to his face as he reveals all this to me. “And I didn’t want you to strip down like that when we were by the waterfall since I felt protective over you. I was worried you would regret being naked in front of a bunch of strangers for the first time. And the thought of anyone else having the chance to see you naked was destroying me.” He swallows visibly.

It’s a good thing I’m already sitting down. Although, I could quite literally fall out of my chair at any moment now.

Surprised to hear the contrast from his answer to how I thought he was feeling in that moment, I only manage to say something lightheartedly. “So you think you’re gonna see me naked?”

One corner of his mouth lifts in a smirk. “Only if you want me to.” He reaches his hand out to mine from across the table, grazing his thumb over mine softly.

My fingers immediately curl underneath his touch. Luca is one of the two guys that’s touched my hand now. And yet, the way his skin feels even traced over mine doesn’t even compare to how having my hand held by Enrique did. It’s as if my entire body just jumped into an ice bath that also happens to be blazing hot.

There’s not much that could possibly distract me right now. Well, except for the guitar strumming in the background that’s grown even louder.

I wistfully glance over at the couples dancing next to the bar, when Luca’s voice snaps me out of this haze. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how badly do you want to dance right now? ”

“20,” I reply, still focused on the couples.

His chuckle fills the air before he gets up, with our hands still clasped together.

It could be the fact that this is all so new to me, experiencing so many unknown feelings, but the way he’s looking at me right now makes me feel like it’s much more than that.

When his arms wrap around my lower back, I shiver at how his hands are holding onto me, gently yet so firmly, the sudden proximity making me dizzy again. I search his eyes curiously. “Am I the only one who’s this nervous?”

“Not even close.” He exhales deeply.

I bite down on my smile. “You know, the first day I got here, I walked past this bar and saw all these couples slow dancing.”

“Was this before or after you spilled two whole drinks on me?” Luca teases.

“It was after you ruined my dress.”

“Continue.”

“I wanted to be one of those couples so bad,” I confess. “At first I thought that as soon as I got here, I’d feel closer to the things I wanted. Oddly though, I felt like I was just as far from it all, since now it was right in front of me, but it still wasn’t mine. Am I making any sense?”

“Yeah, I know that feeling,” he says. “It’s almost like you’re running toward an object, but the closer you get to it, you realize it was further than you once thought.”

“Exactly, and I felt like I was losing my mind.”

“It’s funny you mention that. I remember feeling that way when I was a kid every time I looked at the moon.” His eyes fill with a puzzling sense of wonder. “It’s like you kept trying to chase the moon, thinking it was almost in your reach, only to realize how you were never as close to it as you once thought. ”

I gasp. “Wait, that’s the same reference I was thinking of!”

He mimics my exact facial expression, yet even more exaggerated, adding a gasp in for good measure.

“You’re so annoying,” I say.

“Am I though?”

“Yes. Very much.”

“So you like standing this close to people who piss you off?” Luca’s hands move lower down my back. “How do you feel about kissing them?” he continues, while tilting his head down.

I lean into his ear and whisper, “Keep trying, and you might find out.”

I’m so distracted by all of this that it occurs to me that I finally got the moonlit dance I always wanted.

_________

I always wondered why my actual personality never quite translated when I was around guys I had crushes on. My sense of humor never shining the way I wanted it to. My quirkiness never having the chance to surface. The intelligence I know I carried feeling like it was locked away during conversation.

Maybe, I realize, I’ve been so busy trying to impress these very same guys who most likely didn’t spend a fraction of the same amount of time thinking about me, knowing what I had to offer, but trying so desperately to show them I was worthy of their attention. Of their time. The more I would try, the less it would show. All while favorite qualities about myself continued to stay hidden. On the back burner. Hoping one day, the right person would finally notice.

Now, I’ve met a guy who I find myself not having to think to be “interesting,” “charming,” “fun,” or any other nice adjective. No one other than myself , for once. And it’s a thrill I still can’t quite grasp.

It feels so surreal that even while Luca and I are walking back to our suites, I still can’t believe this entire evening just happened. Not sure if I’ll even believe it tomorrow morning or ever , I confess to him, “This was the most beautiful first date I could have hoped for. Thank you.”

When he looks at me amusedly, almost as if I said something wrong, I clarify, “It was a date, right?” I’m not embarrassed to ask him. Not one bit. I’d rather know what we’re doing than continue to live in confusion.

He smirks before kissing my lips so softly that I ache for more when he pulls away. “Yes. It was.” His smile slowly fades when I start to frown. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I say. “I just remembered when I’m leaving.”

“I know.” He sighs. “I wish you didn’t have to leave this soon. But we still have the entire week left.”

I love his positivity, but it’s honestly not really helping. “Yeah, but a week? That’s like no time.”

“Then we’ll make it a great fucking week ,” he says confidently, bringing his hands to my cheeks to lock our eyes together.

I wish I felt as optimistic as he’s being, but at least I can try. “Okay. Let’s do it,” I say with a wide grin.

The effort he’s made so far makes me think that even if this fizzles out, or if it’ll be a huge mistake, I want to take that risk with him. I owe it to myself. To both of us.

As I continue smiling at him starry-eyed, Luca leans in only to barely touch my lips, before pressing his mouth onto mine. His lips are parted so subtly that it’s hardly an invitation. But he’s not trying to kiss me. He’s trying to make me crumble until he can step in and show me exactly why only he can kiss me like this.

His placement becomes more intentional as his top lip softly pushes in between both my lips, in movements that are so connected that they almost feel like they’re an extension of each other. The heat moving down my body heightens the second he pulls my bottom lip between his.

But the way he lets it go is what tips me over the edge. So slowly. So effortlessly. I find myself standing with creased brows, and in a frustration that only he can extinguish. And does he know it himself, when the first image I see as I slowly open my shut eyes is one of complete self-satisfaction. Smug asshole.

“I guess you’re a good kisser…” I scoff.

And it’s only making me fume even more at why this couldn’t have happened earlier.

Once I’ve regained somewhat of my composure, I think out loud, “Why couldn’t we have met in college?”

Luca almost groans, “I know. I’ve been kicking myself a lot recently at why I didn’t bug Enrique more about introducing us.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t know anything about me then. I’m just talking about us bumping into each other on our own. Especially now that I know you were there all four years. It’s honestly insane to me every time I think about it.” Which I’ve been doing a lot of since he told me. Then I remember how he mentioned that he lost his virginity when he was 19. “Technically we could have even been each other’s first times.”

As soon as I say this I realize how invasive it sounds, and while it’s okay for me to think this, I shouldn’t have shared it with him, since it completely discredits the feelings he shared with the girl he lost it to.

“Wait. Please forget I just said that to you. That was so insensitive,” I quickly apologize. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad about your first time. This is one of the many moments where I need to not just say whatever I’m thinking. I’m sorry.”

Luca brushes my shoulders comfortingly and focuses on my eyes. “Will you relax. I didn’t even think that. I think you need to also stop apologizing for every little thing that you think is offensive.” I relax against his touch. “I know it’s annoying, but maybe it was for the best. I know I was a mess at 18 and even more at 22 right after my dad died.”

I nod. “I was also a mess then. I had no idea what I was doing at 18. Not that I know what I’m doing now. But you know what I mean.” Remembering how much of a change going to college was for me, I add, “I think I also failed to mention how I most likely wasn’t ready for anything then anyway, so how can I even guarantee that meeting you would have changed that?”

“Right,” Luca says. “And with that logic, everyone who meets their partners could think if only they had met them sooner.”

“I guess I should have rephrased it to I wish I learned to face my fears years ago.” I scoff in frustration.

“Don’t we all?” A soft grin forms across his lips, his expression sincere. “And I think you did learn to face them before. Or at least you were learning to. Nothing just happens overnight. This was part of the process rather than feeling like you didn’t work on it all this time.”

My heart flutters at his awareness. He knows me. Better yet, he understands me. “I think that’s a great way to put it,” I say.

It occurs to me that Luca is definitely bringing out the parts of me that used to be more optimistic.

And I see it now.

That change happens in increments . So while you might not see the results right away, it doesn’t mean all your efforts going into changing something at a given moment are going to waste .

The moments along the way might not get the same appreciation as the end goal in mind, but that’s not to say their value is any less .