CHAPTER 15

“You’re On Your Own, Kid” – Taylor Swift

LUCA SMIRKS AS THE TIMER goes off.

Wow. That went fast. Too fast.

We slump back onto the couch after placing the next batter into the oven. “Looks like we might finish after all,” he says, his eyes heavy with exhaustion.

“With a few hours of sleep if we’re lucky,” I add.

A sudden burst of energy fills me from my next thought. “Okay now that I know you’re also a professional painter, do you just draw oceans?” I tease, referencing the one painting of his I’ve seen.

He chuckles. “I draw many things.”

“Okay, draw me then,” I say, while pretending to pose.

“ Right now ?” he asks.

“Why not? Unless you can’t handle a challenge?”

He rolls his eyes, before getting up from the couch.

When he returns with a few sheets of blank paper, I mock, “ That’s what you’re going to draw me on?”

“Oh I’m sorry,” he says sarcastically. “Let me go bring you some of my special watercolor palettes and a fresh canvas.”

“I mean, you could?” I say as he laughs while walking over.

Luca sits right next to me. Closer than before. Close enough where he could probably hear my heartbeat if he tried listening.

I must be fidgeting from the sudden proximity, when he says, “Sit still.”

If he wants me to sit still, he shouldn’t have said it like that …

I’m starting to think that this wasn’t the best idea. Every twenty seconds or so, he’s glancing over at me and then back at the paper in front of him. In order to draw me that would mean studying my face. And that would mean carefully looking at all the details of my face. When my cheeks feel as though they’ve turned a shade of neon scarlet, he luckily hands me the piece of paper.

Oh.

It’s a stick figure with long straw-like strands of hair.

“Okay,” I say. “Maybe it’s a good thing that you’re doing finance now.”

Luca rolls his eyes, and then hands me another sheet.

Woah.

“You didn’t just draw that,” I say. At this point I don’t even bother wondering how odd I must look right now, with my jaw open wide, and my eyes resembling more of the stick figure than this one. “You even got the tiny mole by my right eye.”

He looks at the drawing with creased brows. “Oh is that what that was? I thought it was some melted chocolate.”

I playfully punch his arm. “In that case, you also have some right here,” I say as I brush my finger over the side of his neck, indicating his mole. One that I noticed since the first day that I met him.

He freezes. He looks at me like I’m crazy for a second. Then snaps out of it. “You know, you act like you don’t know how to flirt, but what do you think this is?”

His eyes are still on mine as he gets up from the couch. Then he turns around and goes into the kitchen, while I stare after him into space. Did he really just say that? Is that what I’ve been doing? Is that what we’ve been doing?

I try to turn my focus back to the drawing, the way it had my attention just a few seconds ago. It’s all interrupted though, when Luca returns with two small cups that fill the living room with the most comforting scent of espresso. At 3 am and with just two cakes to go, this was a pretty phenomenal decision on his part. Considering now we’re both wide awake.

“Okay. I really needed that,” I say, after finishing the last sip of the soothing beverage.

He places his cup onto the table. “I told you espresso fixes most problems.”

“Now that we for sure can’t sleep, do you have a puzzle we can work on?”

He glances toward his hallway. “I might have a couple. Let me go check.”

When Luca’s back, he’s not just carrying a puzzle. It looks like he’s holding another box that looks unrecognizable from this distance. “I brought something that I think you might like more. But I could be wrong…” He gives me a knowing look, before handing me a clear box that appears to be filled with an assortment of beads and string.

I immediately sit up with intrigue. “Are we going to make friendship bracelets?! ”

“You said you wanted to go to the Eras Tour , right?” he says. “Well you can make a bracelet for her next tour to look back on.”

And now I’m two seconds away from bawling. Just kidding. I’m currently on an emotional rollercoaster and frankly have no idea what’s even going on at this point.

“Luca, this is so sweet,” I say, before I hug him tightly. I’m not delirious enough yet to not notice how flustered he looks when I pull away from the embrace.

“Sofia left this here from when we made them together for the concert.” His confidence returns when he shows me the puzzle. “I’m guessing you don’t want this then?”

“Hey, that’s hardly a fair competition,” I say. “You know that puzzle had no chance.” He grins as we move to the floor. “Okay, let’s make a bracelet for each other,” I suggest.

“Are we doing a theme or just something random?” he asks.

“It could be a surprise,” I say.

I’m really trying not to laugh. But it’s hard not to, considering how exaggeratingly focused Luca appears to be while making my bracelet. I’m such a mess that I almost drop a few of my own beads, without having a single clue yet as to what I’m going to make for him.

Once it’s time to exchange our bracelets, I take mine from him so quickly that he softly laughs at how impatient I am to see what he decided on for me.

Then my heart flutters when I read the message the beads have created.

“‘ Foolish One ,’” I say out loud. “Luca!” I’m too overwhelmed with joy at such a simple gesture. But it’s the nicest gift anyone’s ever given me. I feel as if I just received a love confession on Valentine’s Day from my crush in high school. And having never actually received a valentine before, this means more to me than he’ll ever know. Awestruck by the different shades of purple and gold beads next to a few butterfly-shaped ones at the ends, I squeal, “This is perfect. Thank you.”

“Just so you don’t steal mine,” he says with a smirk. “You know I forgot what that song sounded like until you brought it up the other day? After listening to it again, I can really see how that’s your favorite song by Taylor.” I playfully nudge his shoulder. “What?” he says, while raising a brow at me. “Now you know I also relate to it.”

I had my suspicions that he did. And am now elated to learn that he does.

I can’t help but realize that this means he listened to the song after I mentioned it to him. This might seem simple. But after recommending songs to my previous crushes, who never even bothered to give any time of day to my interests, this means everything to me.

Looking down at my hands now, I’m reminded of the bracelet I made for Luca and suddenly feel self-conscious. I reach out the collection of beads toward him timidly. “Mine isn’t as sentimental as yours.”

“‘Question…? Foyer or Voyeur ,’” Luca reads out loud as the sides of his eyes crease so deep that I can’t help but also smile. “Nice subtle Taylor reference.” The curve of his lips flickers a warmth right through me.

“I thought you needed one with a strong message on it,” I explain with a gesture of my hands. “You know, like something you’d look back on and instantly remember who gave it to you.”

“I don’t think I could ever forget you,” he says so endearingly that it distracts me from his sentiment. “I love it. Thank you.” Then he tilts his head up at the ceiling. “Great. Now I can’t get that guy’s voice out of my head again.” Luca groans, while I snort at his reference to the Google audio from that one night.

_________

As predicted, it’s around 4 am when our last cake is ready to cool off from the oven. “Should I take you back now?” Luca asks.

I wonder if Enrique would think it’s weird for me to spend the night here, but then again I think he’d assume I would, considering how much time all of this entailed. So I reply, “It’s pretty late though. Besides, how are you going to bring all the cakes back by yourself in the morning?”

“I can manage.” Luca turns around to look at the now messy kitchen counter. “Okay. I think you’re right. I can’t believe we actually finished,” he says as he turns back around.

“We couldn’t have done it without each other, that’s for sure,” I say with a smile.

“I also can’t believe we only messed up two of the cakes,” he adds, referring to the one we dropped, and the other that was my fault for putting it on the wrong pan, which made the cake turn into a really thin crispy chocolate cookie. I guess that means that I just hit my 29th clumsy streak while on this vacation.

As the night flies by and our energy levels drop, I pick up on a random word I hear in the background of the television before turning toward Luca, who might actually be asleep now. “Ravishing is a nice word,” I say. “Imagine if we used it more often to compliment each other?”

His eyes are still closed, but I hear the sound of his sleepy voice. “Like?”

“You look ravishing tonight,” I give an example.

“And how exactly would you react if someone were to say that to you now? ”

“I’d think it’s cute.”

“ Really ?” When Luca opens his eyes, my body immediately wakes up again.

I reply, “Yeah, it’s a little different from the typical compliment. You don’t think so?”

“I think I’d probably run far away from the person who’d say that to me,” he deadpans.

Then he falls asleep next to me on the floor minutes later. After watching his eyelashes flutter gently for a few seconds, I feel myself drifting off as well.

_________

I momentarily don’t know where I am when I wake up the next morning. The floor is hard, the sun is bright, shining through the window. And then I remember last night. Baking with Luca for hours. Talking on his couch for even longer. How his words made my heart flutter and warm and melt all at the same time.

When I feel an arm tighten around me, I realize my exact position.

It’s a good thing I don’t move. Not that I could even if I wanted to. With the way my head is cuddled into the crook between Luca’s shoulder and chest, his strong arm wrapped around my shoulder.

And my hand. My hand is on his stomach . Probably a little too low. My heart quickens as I take in this very intimate position.

His muscles are toned and firm everywhere I’m pressed against him, but not hard enough that he doesn’t make a good pillow. On the contrary, I’m amazed to feel as if our bodies have melded together perfectly. Like two pieces of a puzzle.

I don’t know what’s most consuming. The goosebumps that have grazed all over my breasts, the warmth that’s gathered between my thighs, or how if I even went as far as to slightly flinch, I’d probably feel surfaces of his body that have only remained in my wild imagination.

It feels nice. Better than nice. Comfortable and safe. Wonderful and unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.

Our faces are so close that I can feel his breath on every steady exhale. He smells so uniquely him that I could cry. I want to live in this moment forever. Actually, I’d like to drown in the feel and smell of him.

At least I have a chance to process all of this in the few seconds I have to myself. Until the blaringly obnoxious sound of his alarm goes off, sending the loudest shock through both our bodies.

Luca immediately releases his arm from underneath my shoulder. So quickly that I think I feel the crescendo of his heartbeat vibrate across his chest.

He may be running his fingers nonchalantly through his tousled hair as a reflex. But it’s not enough to brush off the warmth that’s covering his flushed cheeks. Although, my skin must be three shades even brighter.

I need to sit. Even though I’m already sitting.

We almost get up in unison, mimicking the same flustered laugh the other gives.

He goes to get a glass of water.

I rush toward his bathroom. For no other reason but to take a long, extended breath. Hoping it will dispel the euphoric taste in my mouth.

I can’t erase the way Luca was holding me. The way it felt so effortless. So consuming. And how I didn’t want either of us to let go.

Did he sense how badly I wanted him?

Did he feel the same electricity that stopped time in my mind for a moment?