Chapter 20

"You literally saidyou wouldn't marry me without sex!" I shouted at the window as Aeson slithered away across the surface of the moon. It was pretty strange seeing him out there without any form of protective gear other than some lighter colored sections of his scaled hood wrapping around his eyes and mouth.

What was worse was that he hadn't responded to anything I did.

I'd started subtly at first, wearing one of my nicer outfits and setting up a romantic dinner within view of the window where he could see me when he passed by outside. The kitchen unit he had mentioned was a high tech robotics getup. It had a screen which allowed me to select from a variety of different foods from Earth by selecting the picture, and then the whole thing whirled into action, mental arms swinging about as it prepared and cooked my selection in front of me.

There wasn't any furniture other than the chairs so I ate the meal on the floor in front of the window, drinking a vintage bottle of something red as I made sure my tight red skirt rode up my legs.

Not a single glance my way.

I'd focused heavily on my work in between attempts to snare his attention but reading the endless comments on my latest video I'd posted explaining my cultural faux pas made me go through the remainder of my Blamex far too quickly, so I stopped, focusing on the one thing that didn't stress me out.

Even though he was driving me crazy avoiding me like this.

I even tried resurrecting the little bit I knew from that one bellydance class I took a long time ago, wondering if maybe wiggling around in a serpentine fashion would entice him to come back in and at least talk to me about why he was avoiding me.

I was running out of ideas.

I stood in the bedroom, looking through my luggage. There wasn't any dressers or shelves to put anything so I had been living out of my suitcase. I also had no idea how to wash my dirty clothes so I'd been piling them in one corner of the floor until I could ask Aeson where the laundromat was. Given the fact that he didn't really wear any clothing, there was a good chance that I'd have to end up washing them in the bathtub.

I'd found a little note taking app and was keeping track of all of the issues I was encountering.

The biggest one of all though was my husband avoiding me.

I stared at my clothing and sighed. If my sexy date night dress wasn't going to send him slithering into my arms, my only other option was to strip down naked and masturbate in front of him, and I didn't really like that idea.

I needed a second opinion.

I pulled up the screen on my wrist unit and called Caley.

Her entire body appeared in the air above my wrist, a huge smile on her face.

"I mean, you're gorgeous and I love you, but I'd rather see your face up large rather than have you be a tiny little Obi-Wan Kenobi you're our only hope kind of image," I frowned at the screen.

"Oh, just use the zoom in gesture." Caley pinched her fingers and then spread them wide.

"Like on a normal phone?" I asked.

"Yeah, these things are set up to be easy for humans to use so they changed the gestures to match what we already use." She smiled.

I held my fingers up to the projection and did the reverse pinch.

It zoomed in.

"Woah." I frowned again. I could see a scabbed over pimple on Caley's jawline. Not that it was a problem that she was aux natural, but the fact was that I wouldn't be able to see it in such high definition on my normal phone. "Can you see my face in that detail?"

"Yes." Caley tilted her head to the side. "You aren't wearing any foundation. That is really unusual. Normally you are fully covered with contouring and highlights and everything. Why are you wearing a bikini?"

"I can still sunbath on the moon. Plus nobody is here and I decided not to film today." I shrugged. "No point if I'm all by myself and not putting on a show."

"You don't feel the need to ‘make yourself presentable,'" Caley put up her free hand and made a quoting gesture, "for Aeson? You told me you would wake up before your previous boyfriends to get all done up. It"s kind of wonderful you don't feel like you need to do that for Aeson."

"He isn"t here!" I wailed, it all coming out in a rush. "He's outside, doing some sort of weird giant 3d printing construction! He hasn't even come back in since he left! Does he not need to breathe? What kind of species even does that? He is just slithering around in the lunar dirt and ice cold nothingness and he isn't getting chapped? Does he have no nerves at all? Why doesn't he want to fuck me? He literally bargained with me to insist I spread my legs for him and now he doesn't seem to be interested at all. This is incredibly frustrating!"

Caley's mouth opened and closed like a fish.

"Do you want me to send Jevelar to go pick you up?" she asked. "You don't have to stay there if you're feeling neglected. If the marriage isn't working, you don't have to stay in it."

"Marriage is a commitment," I pointed out.

"You didn't commit to be neglected." She frowned at me. "Would you tell a woman whose husband hits her that her commitment is more important than her physical safety and comfort?"

"No," I replied. "That would be stupid. She committed to be loved and honored, and being hit removes the possibility of that ever being true. Ever."

"If you aren't getting what you need out of this relationship, and he isn't willing to work on it, then you should probably just leave," Caley pointed out.

I hadn't given her all the information.

She was being a really good friend, but she was only working with one image of the situation, the one where I was abandoned and ignored by my new husband on my honeymoon. Her advice was entirely centered on that. I had to own up to the full truth of the situation if I wanted to get the best advice.

Even though Caley had been terrible at setting boundaries for her parents, she was really good at giving advice. At least, she was really good at giving me something and listening to her let me sort out my internal dilemma and know for certain what it was that I wanted.

"I had a panic attack on the way up here," I finally put it out there. "I freaked out, like really freaked out bad. So bad that he insisted I go to a doctor and he took me to a Norratar doctor on a spaceship."

"Oh, that must have been so hard." Caley's eyes filled up with tears. "Your anxiety attacks are already bad. To have one in space with a new husband who is as different as he is… that must have been terrible. It's great that he took care of you but I think I know what you're getting at."

She didn't say it so I did.

"He could be avoiding me because I scared him," I sighed. "Finding out that you new wife has a medical condition, especially a mental one…. He may be taking the time apart from me to decide if he wants to call off the marriage. That's why he hasn't tried to consummate it yet. He wanted a healthy human wife and I'm not that."

"Oh, Jessica." A tear slid down Caley's cheek. She was so damn empathetic it drove me nuts. I couldn't even cry despite the intensity of my feelings and here she was dribbling like a rainy day in the Pacific Northwest.

Damn it, she got me.

I quickly wiped my eyes.

"I was considering masturbating in front of him to see if I could get a reaction," I redirected the subject aggressively away from those intense feelings of vulnerability.

"Wait, what?" Caley sniffled.

"I thought maybe if I put it all on display it would turn him on so much that he came in here and made good on our marriage," I sighed.

"Or he could hit it and quit it," Caley said. "Like, I know the guys that are in this program are vetted heavily by the Norratar, but they aren't humans and they don't have human values. Heck, even human men don't have human values half the time. If he is considering ending the marriage, you probably shouldn't try to have sex with him. That's the sort of thing you need to talk about before doing the deed. It would be a lot worse to separate after… especially cause Atisari… you know."

"I don't know, Caley." I gave her a stern look. "I didn't even know Atisari existed until Aeson."

"Oh, right, so," she blushed, "their… you know… parts… can modify human bodies."

"Wait. What? CALEY!" I shouted. "His dick can literally change me? Honey, maybe you need to go on some meds or something. This kind of stuff is important."

"I'll promise I'll do better," Caley pleaded. "I have a whole team now that are putting together information packets on the different species to give to the brides before marriage. I won't have to remember to tell everyone everything, it will all be written down. Please don't be mad."

I covered my face with my free hand.

"Fine," I stated. "I'm not mad, but seriously, you tell me everything right now and if you have another ‘whoops, I forgot to tell you' moment, I swear I'm going to give you a bad public review and scare everyone away from signing up."

"So Atisari have two… dongs…" Caley started.

"Dongs," I muttered. "Why not just call them joysticks or heat seeking missiles."

"I mean, I can if you think…" Caley followed my muttered digression.

"Back on topic, Caley," I commanded. "What are his double dose of tallywackers going to do to me if I succeed at my seduce my husband plan?"

"Well, so the Atisari can excrete an elixir that does stuff to humans," Caley rushed through her words. "Good stuff, not bad stuff."

"What kind of stuff, Caley!" I just about growled at her, I was so impatient. "Just spit it out already."

"So you can fit the top one!" Caley said. "They basically modify your body so you're both tougher and more flexible. I mean, weren't you worried that he was too big?"

"Women get baby heads through there all the time," I shrugged. "I figured it would take some work but it would be doable. I can't say I wasn't a little concerned, but when the heck am I going to get another chance to ride a monster like that? Plus he is really good at giving head, so if it didn't work out, I figured we could at least have a good run with that. Not all sex is about a little pecker poking."

"It doesn't ever feel like a little poke." Caley blushed even deeper after her own words.

"What are the long term consequences of the body modification?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Caley replied.

"You don't know," I repeated.

"I'll find out," Caley rushed to say. "Though you can just ask Aeson as well. His species has mated with humans for some time so he should know. Plus the Norratar didn't seem worried about his species and they banned a few from joining the program."

"Who did they ban?" I asked.

"One species specifically has written into their laws that humans are property and don't have any rights." Caley frowned as she said it. "They were involved with the trafficking on the planet before the Norratar got here. They've been banned entirely. Also any species that doesn't relinquish authority over their citizens to the Norratar in cases of a dispute with the human mates. The legal body of the species has to agree to respect the mate contracts and subsequent laws before their members are allowed to even apply."

"What do the Norratar get out of all of this?" I asked. "This is a lot of bureaucracy."

"There is a huge application fee for the aliens for them to even start going through the vetting process." Caley fidgeted. "And if they get in and if they get matched with their mate, they are supposed to invest in infrastructure to benefit Earth's interstellar economy."

"Hm." I tapped on my chin with my finger. "Well, that explains the whole honeymoon suite on the moon."

"Yes," Caley nodded.

I sighed in the brief silence in our conversation. Caley didn't offer anything in that moment. She was the kind of friend who could sit silent on a phone for extended periods of time without needed to add sound to it. She was just happy to be there in any way she could be.

"I'm going to stay here and wait for Aeson to be ready to talk to me," I finalized my decision. "I know he is avoiding me now, and I can't fully trust my own judgment because he is an alien and all, but everything he has done so far indicates that he is a kind and generous male who has my best interests in mind. I mean, he took me to the doctor but then he did this whole fight display thing that was super hot. Would he have done that if he was going to break things off right away?"

"He did a ceremonial mating rights fight for you?" Caley asked.

"Spill it," I demanded.

"Oh, well, his species, when they want to be accepted by a female of their species, they ask for her permission to prove themselves. If she gives the go ahead, he has to fight all the other males in her harem, or, if she hasn't chosen her first male yet, all the other first male contenders." Caley grinned as she spoke, as if she was enjoying the idea. "The female then decides afterwards if she wants to accept him."

"How does she communicate that?" I demand. "Is she all like ‘I choose you, Pikachu' or is there some other traditional signal?"

"I think she chokes him?" Caley taps her chin. "But you already did that."

"Well, I guess I need to do it again," I replied.

"You should still talk it out first," Caley pointed out. "The only way to be sure about what is going on in another person's head is to ask. Even more so if their head comes from a completely different culture with different assumptions and social norms than yours."

"Yeah, yeah." I waved my hand at her. "Or I could jump on his back and choke him."

"Well, I guess you wouldn't be able to do that unless he let you," Caley sighed.

"Don't bet on that." I grinned.

"Jessica!" Caley laughed. "You're not going to fight an alien that likely weighs more than a car thinking that you're going to sexually assault him. Be serious right now."

"I wish I could be seriously boned right now," I sighed.

"I think your masturbation idea was a good one." She shook her head at me. "At least you would work this energy out. You need to take care of yourself so that you can have a productive talk."

"Decision made then," I said. "Instead of teasing, I'll do it for my own emotional wellbeing."

"Ok, well, let me know how it goes," Caley said.

"I'm an expert at it." I grinned. "I can promise it will go very well."

"You're ridiculous." Caley rolled her eyes. "I meant the talk with Aeson. The serious talk where you tell him how you are feeling and ask him how he is feeling and come to a mutual understanding of where each other is."

"Yeah, sure." I shook my head. "He's avoided me for two days now. It's not like I can make him come back here and talk to me."

"Have you tried texting him or calling him?" Caley asked.

I looked at her, stunned.

"You haven't tried to talk to him at all?" Caley asked.

"His contact is on this thing, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's your husband, and the wristband is part of the whole thing to make sure you are safe and can communicate easily," Caley said. "Of course his contact is already in your wristband."

I winced. I'd sent him my medical instructions, the ones I still hadn't read through, and I'd forgotten that I could just call him.

"I'll talk to you later." I needed to call him. "Bye!"

"Bye!" Caley's face vanished as I hit the end call button.

Then I found Aeson's contact.

It had snake emojis next to his name. When I opened up the contact, it had a photo of him from our wedding day, the flowering archway in the background.

I called him.

The call ended with only one ring.

My heart fell, sinking down into my gut with the weight of my disappointment. Why would he talk to me on the phone if he was avoiding me? Of course he didn't pick up, he-

My phone pinged with a text message.

I can't speak on the phone while I am outside. The project I'm working on is almost finished and we can move forward. Is there something that you need?

I looked around the screen until I found the small image of a keyboard and clicked on it. It popped up and I typed in the first thing I could think of.

I need a washing machine.

I waited but he didn't reply.

I also need your heat seeking missile.

I didn't click send on that one and just stared at it for a while, smiling. I'd spent so much time reigning myself in. Being playful and crass in any capacity would get me labeled as an easy lay by men I'd never even met. The toxic paradigm of virgin slut was a load of rotting plant material that needed to be taken out to the compost before it burst into a new swarm of fruit flies.

I'd been judged for sleeping with a man too quickly, not sleeping with a man at all, smiling at a guy who smiled at me, accepting a free drink without spreading my legs, for wearing a tight dress, for wearing sweat pants to the grocery store, and now, for being the first to publicly sign up to be a monster's mate.

Sometimes I just wanted to be able to be myself and not be judged.

I sighed. Then again, I was the one who was constantly putting myself out there for people to pick apart. It was my fault in that regard, wasn't it?

That thought sat rotten in my gut. It didn't feel right. But even so, that sense of self blame made me move my finger moved to delete the message when another one of his popped up.

I had to inquire what a washing machine was. I should have had that already available and my mistake will be rectified shortly. I've sent a request to the Shek'invitali delegation in this system. They will be providing a matter printer and the current catalog of human designs for the space, so you will be able to manufacture whatever is missing.

A warmth crept into my heart as I read those words. He acknowledged a mistake and said what he was doing to fix it. It was strange how such a tiny moment could cause such a large feeling in my chest, but I knew why. I wasn't used to being with someone who was thoughtful.

He was thoughtful.

I moved my finger to type out my next message and accidentally hit send.

I froze for a moment. What could I say? What should I say?

He probably didn't even know what a heat seeking missile was.

His reply popped up.

This is for your treatment? I've almost finished setting things up to the doctor's parameters, but I didn't include any weaponry. Would the threat of missiles and military action be the most terrifying option for you?

What the heck was he writing about?

No, the phrasing I used was a crude attempt to flirt with you. I didn't mean to send it.

I waited for him to elaborate on what he had written.

I understand you are impatient. I wish I had been spending this time with you. I find you to be a singularly intoxicating creature and the memory of your scent on my face is driving me to difficulty. I must finish this work for you so we can apply the Norratar's medical treatment for your chemical addiction. If we had mated while you were in a state of severe imbalance like that, the results could vary from what my people are used to. All human Atisari matings have been done when the human was in optimal health.

I felt a warmth in my skin as I read the bit about my scent, then I typed a question this time, curious about what more he could tell me about our future mating.

What should I be expecting? Do you want me to make myself ready for you?

I cringed as I read that a second time after I sent it. What was I thinking? Make myself ready? I might as well send him a picture of my fingers in my cooch. I'd likely get a better result that way.

You can expect to be thoroughly terrified.

"What in all the kinky loving fuck?" I gaped at the screen hovering in the air above my wrist.

I am going to make a nightmare of your species come true. I will trigger the deep recesses of your animal psyche and force you to experience the full effect of your survival instincts operating in overdrive. You will be triggered on a visceral level.

I read that message several times in complete silence, feeling my heart rate pick up as I read it a third time before typing out a reply.

We're going to need a safe word and clear boundaries.

His reply was quick.

Explain?

How to explain to my alien husband that my idea of getting it on was way more vanilla than his apparently, and that if I was going to be down to explore this kink with him, we were going to have to follow some rules. I took a moment to look over my message before sending it.

I have to know that you'll stop if I say the safe word, which will be "Earth". I say that word and everything has to stop immediately.

His reply took a long time but it was short.

No.

I frowned at the word and typed in my reply.

What do you mean, no?

His reply filled me with a strange mixture of excitement and unease.

You can't have any control in this. If you are concerned, call the Norratar doctor about her recommendation. I've already sent a full plan of what I'm going to do to you to her and she has approved it and confirmed it will not cause you harm.

My eyes widened.

He consulted the doctor on a kink plan? Why would…

My brain suddenly clicked the pieces into place, and I swiped away from our conversation to find the recommendation sent by the doctor. I read through it as fast as I could. All I could hear was the sound of my own breath as I focused on what I was reading, putting it together with what my husband had been doing and what he had just texted me.

The treatment the doctor had prescribed worked best if my body was experiencing high levels of adrenaline and cortisol, ideally if I were afraid for my life. My understanding of what he had been writing to me shifted away from bad kink planning to caring devotion.

My monstrous husband was going to scare the chemical Blamex scars out of my brain with the aid of alien magic medicine. He had been avoiding me to work hard, all for me. He was working for me, not rejecting me.

He was taking care of me.

I swiped my way back to the message thread.

A sudden, absolutely wicked thought raced through my head and I typed it out and sent it before my more sensible side of my personality could take over.

What would scare me the most is having you mate with me while I'm terrified for my life.

There was no reply for several minutes.

You are frightened to mate with me?

I shouldn't do this, but I was going to. A thrill raced through me as I stared at the words I typed onto the chat.

Nothing would scare me more.

I dropped my arm down and walked back into the huge empty common room. He was there, on the outside of the transparent walls, close to them, his arm lifted up with his holographic screen floating in the air. I watched him as he typed something, then deleted it, then typed something again.

He didn't react to me standing in front of him, just like he didn't react any of the other times except for the last one where I flirted with the idea of touching myself intimately while wearing a bikini. I'd lost my nerve when he rushed away.

Finally he tapped on his screen and looked up at the stars for a long moment.

I lifted my arm to see his reply.

I can't.

My reply was short and swift.

Why?

It took him a long time to look back at his screen, and even longer to write out his reply. All the while I stared at the carved muscles of his body, the way the thick strong length of his tail pressed into the ground. I'd watched him moving around outside and the lesser gravity on the moon hadn't seemed to phase him in the slightest.

The thought is too enticing. You are asking me to feed my predatory side in a way that, if I'm not careful or observant of you enough, could cause you to hate me. Not only do I want your love, not your hate, but I'm not sure if it is good for my hearts to give into an even darker desire. Setting up to scare you is already far too fun.

A shiver of heat rushed through me and I bit my lip as I typed a response.

That is what a safe word or a red light green light system and established boundaries are good for. It gives you limits to roam within, and a way to know for certain that I love what you are doing.

He shifted to the side as he read that message, his tail moving sinuously along the ground before he settled.

I thought you said it would frighten you.

I smiled. He caught me.

I married an alien that snatched me up the moment I met him and trapped me in an embrace that is terrifying… and I got turned on. Yes, mating with you scares me a little bit. That fear excites me as well, and adrenaline can be released during the act as well. Knowing that you want me so bad that a darker side of you has the urge to just take me is intense. What turns that intensity into desire is the fact that I know that my pleasure and health is important to you.

His head tilted to the side as he read my message.

What is the red green color system?

I wrote quickly.

Saying red means stop, yellow means slow down, green means full speed ahead. You can check in and ask for my color anytime you're uncertain, and we can keep the safe word for extreme emotional no reaction.

The end of his tail flicked and a small rock floated gently in an arc before landing on the ground.

We can't use that for the treatment. You must not have any control so that fear can rule you. I will ignore all such words for the duration of the program.

I sighed. It was probably for the best anyway. I really should spend some real intimate time with him before I went straight into hardcore kink anyway. Especially since it was a kink I hadn't actually done. There was always a chance I wouldn't like it and would start throwing down the red hard, and that likely was a good idea for our first mating.

Before I had a chance to respond, another message came through.

I will not be able to control all the variables of the program. There are some elements that are outside my control.

I frowned. What was he saying? Instead of guessing, I just asked.

What are you saying with that? Could I get hurt?

His reply caused my frown to deepen.

I am saying that you should go into this expecting that your life could be in danger. It is important that you believe that.

All of my flirty energy that I had been feeling earlier when I was teasing us both with the idea of risky, aggressive sex dissipated as I read those words a second time, trying to dig out the meaning from them.

Was my life going to be in danger or not?

I understood from the doctor's instructions that I needed to be genuinely scared, but was getting off the medication really worth risking my health? Then again, I married a giant snake monster alien and jumped into his spacecraft to hurtle into outer space without any knowledge about his culture, his background or desires, or how his spaceship even worked.

I'd been hanging out in a lunar dome specially built for me without any concern about where the air, water, or food were coming from or if there was even an escape pod or plan if something went wrong, so it wasn't like I distrusted him.

Looking at all the facts, I'd already placed my health and wellbeing firmly in his hands.

I didn't believe in the sunk cost fallacy. Just because I'd invested a certain amount of my safety in this alien didn't mean I should do so for the future, but the fact that he had taken care of me fairly well so far was a good indicator. Not a perfect one, but in the grand scheme of things, his track record in the last few days was better than some of my past boyfriends throughout the duration of the relationship. He had taken me straight to the doctor when I had a psychiatric incident and had not argued or diminished my pain. He had refused to participate in hardcore consensual kink play without developing a more intuned physical relationship with me first. He put my medical needs in front of his own physical desires. He took me home when I asked, and then helped solve my problem of actually getting into my apartment.

All of his actions so far lined up with him being the type of guy that cared about me.

Still, could I really trust him?

I typed out my response.

How long do I have to wait for this program?

His reply was quick.

I am going through the final systems checks now. After, I will clean myself, prepare, and open the doors. I will signal you with a sound, and to begin all you need to do is bring the handheld portion of the treatment the doctor gave you and enter the new facility.

He moved away from the window after he sent the message, heading over towards the rounded bulk of the new building he had constructed off to the side of this one. I watched him for a moment before heading back to the room. I didn't know what I would be walking into and I wanted to feel good in my body if I was going to have a huge adrenaline dump. I'd do a quick round of yoga to limber up and get my blood flowing and then take a quick dip in the bathing pool.

I shot a quick message back.

I'll see you there.

His reply was curt.

Your senses are not developed enough to perceive me in the space I've created.

I laughed.

No way I was going to let a challenge like that slide.