9. ALEXI

It was strange how nice and easy things felt with Warren. He did things to me that made me feel seen. He read my mind, getting me to shower with him, and massage my fingers through his body hair with the suds.

He didn't make me feel bad about getting cum over his bedding, or a little on his teddy. I was glad he could wipe that clean almost immediately.

"Arms up," he said, drying me with the biggest, fluffiest towel I'd ever been around. It was like a towel from a nice, fancy hotel. And then he did what he said he was going to do and dress me in the onesie.

I dressed for an occasion like we were going to be intimate, but that wasn't my sole purpose for coming here tonight. I was also hoping to make a friend, and Warren had all the makings of a good friends, and hopefully my first friend in Manchester.

After all that exercise, I was starving, and looking forward to playing games.

"Ok, so, I have a couple of discount codes," he said as I rifled through the drawers under his TV where all his games were neatly collected. "And I'm starving, so I'm easy."

I giggled, looking at him on the sofa. "What do you want to eat?" I wasn't opposed to going back for seconds, especially now that I'd seen and felt every inch of him. He was a full-sized Daddy snack pack in his tank top and shorts.

"Not easy like that," he said. "But I want you to pick, any choice. You want to do that now, before we pick a game to play?"

"Pizza," I answered. "Pepperoni. And no pineapple. Please."

Warren smiled and nodded. "Ok, no pineapple. I'm learning things about you."

I turned away, my body trying not to coil up inside the dino onesie. "If you like pineapple, you can—"

"Pineapple makes cum taste better," he said.

"Why are you adding pineapple to cum?" I giggled. It was quick for me to think of something like that.

"If you didn't look so cute, I'd come over there and wrestle you out of that onesie."

I shook my head. "Maybe later."

"I'll hold you to that."

I pulled out a game. "A racing game! I'm good at these!"

"That's one of my favourites. So, I won't go easy on you," he said. "The pizza place does sides. Do you want any? They have wings. I gonna get some."

"Maybe. I'll just have one of yours." My stomach grumbled loudly.

"Then I'll order a bunch. They're good," he said, smacking a hand on the sofa. "Come get comfy with me. I want to cuddle before I have to destroy you at that game."

That was the exact flavour of flirting that spoke to my soul.

I waddled over in the dino onesie, making sure to sway and let the tail whip around. I made the most of how welcome he made me feel. And I never wanted to leave the moment, or the comfort he filled me with.

But like all good things, they were only temporary.

I only spent Friday night at his place. It was like leaving part of myself behind when I left the following morning. I clung to the memories of competing with him at the game, and getting sticky sauce from the chicken wings on my face that he licked off. I didn't want to leave, but I didn't want to outstay my welcome.

We had sex once more that night. It was what I needed to feel whole.

And to my surprise, he texted me a lot. I'd gotten so used to being used that I forgot people actually continued talking after they'd hooked up.

I never looked forward to work, but today was different.

Today was going to be better because I was going to see Warren.

Except he hadn't text me to wish me a good morning. So, I sent him one instead.

There was no response.

And the warmth I'd felt from one of his big bear hugs faded.

I wondered if this was a sign that he didn't want to continue any further, maybe he wanted to just get back to work after what we'd done.

There was a pit in my stomach all the way to work.

I couldn't focus.

I stared at my phone on my desk. The text from last night when he sent a goodnight message, followed by several heart emojis.

He'd even asked me to come over, but I knew he was busy, and I didn't want to get in the way of what he was doing. Plus, I needed to recharge. I wondered if my saying no had given him the wrong impression.

Scrolling through the texts from yesterday evening, I was re-reading what had happened, and if it was my fault. I refused to leave my desk in case I saw him. He hadn't walked by either. Maybe he was trying to be professional.

He was ignoring me, and I couldn't blame him.

The sound in my ear from the headset dinged. A call. Panic in the back of my throat. My jaw clenched. Looking at the screen. The cursor hovering over the disconnect.

"Hello?" a voice spoke in my ear.

Click. It was gone.

I couldn't do this. Not today. It was still the morning, and I couldn't escape for lunch or my break.

"Alexi," Kate's cheerful voice. Not what I wanted to hear, not while the text messages were open and a heat was in my face ready to tear up, I could feel the emotions collect in the corners of my eyes.

Raising my head, she was beside my cubicle. "Ye—yes?"

"Did you just disconnect a call after three seconds?" she asked.

"I—um—I—" I pulled the headset from my head, the warmth building behind my eyes. "I need to quit."

"Aw, Alexi. Is everything ok?" her voice, softer, I knew she was trying to be nice, but the way she looked with sympathy in eyes. I didn't like it.

I grabbed my phone, moving back with the wheels of the office chair. "I can't," I let out, "I have to—I have to go."

She was ready to put her arm around me, and I couldn't handle that idea. "Alexi, take the day off."

It had been on my mind since my second week. I thought, if I could do it for half a year, I'd be able to save and find something else.

I shook my head; I couldn't be forced to come back. I couldn't be forced into any of this. I wasn't overreacting; I was realising this wasn't a good fit, and Warren ignoring me was the push I needed to leave.

Grabbing my things, I saw Kate and the others watching. I hated what I was wearing; I hated the itchy shirt, and I hated sweating through it all.

Standing at the locker, I froze. I didn't make grand gestures, like quitting. When I quit the coffee shop back home, I felt bad for telling them I was leaving. They were nice about it, and I worked a long notice so they could find someone else.

I didn't look back. I walked straight to the doors. In the hallway, I looked down the length of the frosted glass walls. Part of me wanted to bump into Warren, and part of me wanted to jump into the elevator and be done.

Ding.

The elevator door opened.

It was empty. That was my sign.

With my bag at to my chest, I reached inside to grab my phone case. I needed to see the teddy bear over my phone again. I already changed so much of myself to fit in here. And maybe that's why Warren didn't text me this morning; he knew I wasn't being true to myself.

As the elevator doors closed, I tugged nervously at the cuffs of the knit sweater. I wanted to strip to something else and go out into the world comfortable. I wore a light grey vest top beneath the sweater and shirt, and neither were easily stuffed inside the small bag.

Ding.

The elevator doors opened to the glossy floor of the office building entrance. There was a receptionist at a desk, and straight ahead were the tall glass entrance walls and door.

At the desk, I saw him standing, chuckling with three other people. He was clearly too preoccupied, just as I suspected.

"Alexi," he said, noticing me.

I needed to scan my card to say I was leaving the building. He scanned himself in. He looked at me, adjusting his suit jacket.

There was nowhere to hide.

"Go ahead," he said as the three people around him walking toward me leave the elevator. He approached slowly, his brows together. "Everything ok?"

"I quit," I said.

Right in front of me, I watched him, trying to open his arms. I dodged, stepping away.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"You—you used me, and ignored me, and—and—"

"Alexi, I'm right here," he said, his arms open wide. The smell of his cologne hitting me with the memory of climbing on his body over the couch.

"No," I said, making a beeline to the reception desk. "I'm—no." I didn't need to explain myself.

The reception desk was manned by an older woman flicking through a glossy magazine. She wasn't even looking at us. But I was sure she was listening.

"What happened?" he asked.

"You—you—" I choked back on a breath. "You didn't text me."

He smiled, the corner of his lips dipping into his dimple. I didn't know why he was smiling. "Baby," he said softly, glancing at the woman at the desk. "My charger died last night. I just went out to grab a new one. Let's talk over there." He nodded to the small seating area. "I can explain." He reached into the breast pocket of his suit and pulled out a small plastic packet.

The heat of the moment faded. "It's always the same," I said, perched on the edge of the seat, ready to make a run for it. I'd ran before, from problems and feelings. I wasn't an athlete, but I could win awards for how well I ran from issues.

Warren opened the plastic in his hands. "I was going to see you this morning, but then I figured I'd wait until you had a break, but I—I just went out to get this." He placed a hand on my back. It was nice. I didn't want it to be nice, that was in direct conflict with what I was feeling.

Seeing the cable, I knew he was telling the truth. I felt stupid. "I—I wouldn't be surprised if you ignored me."

He pressed a finger to my mouth. "I would never," he said, "you're special, and I'd never let you think otherwise. But—but that's not everything, right? What else is going on?"

"It's—it's all too much."

"I figured." He stroked my shoulder. "That's why I asked you to stay over last night. I wanted to help you relax."

"But you're busy."

"I'm not busy enough to ignore what's going on between us," he said. "I like you, Alexi. You're the only thing I see that isn't on my case, and you make me smile."

"Well, I quit," I said.

"You can't," he said, "well, you can, I'm not going to tell you what to do. But I don't want you to quit. I'll talk with the supervisor and tell them—I'll tell them whatever, I—well, I might have an idea."

"An idea?"

He pressed his forehead to mine, stroking a hand down my neck. "Yes, but first, let me take you somewhere. It was going to be a surprise, but you look like you could use it now."

Clinging to my phone and bag, I looked at him and pulled my head away, glancing back at the reception desk. "Ok."

"Hold my hand. It's a little chilly outside."

His warmth was enough. I wanted to stay in his orbit.