10. WARREN

It had totally gone over my head that he needed my reassurances. Part of what I loved about the Daddy role was the responsibility of looking out and caring for the little. Alexi was additionally special because of his past, it was written all over him, the pain and hurt he must've been through. And I'd hurt him by not texting. He protected himself emotionally, and he'd been doing a good job at it. I was the reason he let his guard down. I made him come for coffee, and I made him talk.

"Where are we going?" he asked as we entered the multistorey car park. He'd stopped a couple of paces behind me.

I held my hand out for him. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this," I said, getting closer, taking his hand. He held it. My thumb stroking the back of his hand. "It's a surprise, or at least, it was going to be a surprise tonight when I asked you to come over, again."

"Oh." His hand grew tight in mine.

"But it's still a surprise, and I want you to see it now," I said, keeping his hand in mine. "Let's go find my car, and you can see what I've got for you."

My car was parked on the third storey.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked as we stepped into the elevator.

In the reflective panels, I saw his soft face pout and eyes fill with emotion. I wanted to squeeze him and tell him it wouldn't happen again. "I'm not mad," I said, "not at you, I'm mad at myself, I should've been better."

"Don't you think I overreacted?"

I pulled him into my arms, wrapping myself around him like a weighted blanket as I held him. His head rested on my shoulder. I stroked his hair, gently. "No," I said, kissing his forehead. "I'd been texting you, and I should've done everything I could to text you this morning. But I didn't."

His body shrank as he exhaled, a relief in his shoulders. He sighed. "Where were you coming from?"

"When? Just then?"

He nodded.

"Those are my marketing team. We were out at the printers because we had an early morning meeting with the food festival about our booth. We needed to get the sizing for banners and the logo right."

"I feel silly."

"No, no," I said, kissing his forehead once more. "You shouldn't. I should've come to see you, I know you get in your head, and I should've seen this coming." I was the one who felt silly. I should've left him a note. Communication was important.

The elevator dinged as we arrived.

We walked holding hands. I approached my car. It was an old Honda Civic. I hadn't bought a new car or thought about it in years. I personally thought they were a waste of money, they devalued almost immediately, not an investment when you already live so close to cheap transport links.

"What is it?" he asked, his hand squeezing at mine with excitement.

Pulling away to unlock the boot, I revealed three grey postal bags. They'd been delivered to the office this morning and I immediately brought them to my car.

"On Friday night," I began, "when you came over, and you went to sleep. You were so cute. I couldn't sleep. Staring at you, in a non-creepy way."

He shuffled on his feet; compliments made him uncomfortable too.

"So, I ordered you some things, and I was going to invite you over tonight. They're not big, but they're—just open them and see."

"I love presents," he said, his hands itching to get them.

"Give me those," I said, taking his bag tucked beneath his arm. "They're all yours."

There was a childlike excitement to the way he tore through the packaging. I didn't know why they were packed individually, but they were.

There were two onesies, one in Totoro grey with the ears and tail, the second was a panda, and the third was a suctioned pastel purple bear to match his phone case. It looked small in the bag, but it was supposed to be half his height when airedout.

"I got them for when you came over," I said. "I didn't have anything that fit you last time, and I wanted you to have something."

"I could—" he paused, squeezing the fabric of the onesie to his face.

"I asked you on Saturday night, and last night," I said.

"You're busy, you said so, and I—I need to prepare myself for being around people," he said. "It can take a lot out of me sometimes."

It was understandable. I didn't want to push him or the topic of coming over. He made his own steps, and I liked that. They were small steps, but courageous ones.

"I love it," he said. "I do."

"The teddy was because you kept reaching for something in bed, and I don't feel like my little dino was doing it for you" I said. "I think you enjoyed being spooned too much to turn and grab me."

He blushed. It was a strange colour to see under the weird car park lighting. He pulled the onesie up to his face, hiding himself.

I immediately pulled him into a hug. "I don't want you to quit," I said. "I'll see if I can get you some different work. Would you like that?"

"Please," he sniffled.

I kissed his head, moving to nuzzle my nose against his. "You're too sweet and pure," I said. "You can't work with people all day."

"I already quit," he said. "But I don't think Kate took me seriously."

"Unless it's in writing, I think you still work for Fizz," I said, "I'll see what I can do about moving you around. But that's only if you want to keep working there."

He nodded. "Only to see you every day."

I squeezed him. "If you accepted my invite to spend the night, you can still see me, every night."

Alexi pressed the fabric to my cheek. "If this is what you're offering, I don't think I can say no."

"You can still be a good boy and say no," I whispered in his ear.

He nodded. "I know that. But I never wanted to say no to you."

"Then say yes, it'll make you a very good boy."

"I am a good boy," he snapped, quiet and quick. "I am." He looked up at me with his doe eyes. It was those fuck me, Daddy eyes.

"You know," I said, "let me keep my word, let me take you back to my flat so you can give me a show in these."

"But—but you have to work."

"I can go back for my meeting in the afternoon," I said, "but this can't wait. I want to see you in that." I tugged at the grey onesie. "It's a small, it should be perfect for you."

"Thank you."

Reaching around, I slipped a hand down to the back of his trousers. They didn't feel lacy, at least not the same lace he'd worn the other night. "Oh, what underwear are you wearing?"

He looked hesitant to say. "Yours."

"Oh, Daddy's underwear?"

"Yeah, from the other morning."

"And how do they feel?"

Alexi chewed on his lip. "A little roomy, but good," he offered in a hushed voice.

In the car, before setting off, I had to call Marcus. I lied to him about where I was going, but after the good news about the food and drink event, he didn't mind that I was taking the rest of the morning off to visit the doctor. It was a lie about an elbow issue, which Alexi overheard.

"I can take care of it," he said once I finished the call. He caressed the side of my arm. "Which one is it?"

"I'm sure you will." I puckered my lips at him. "But that was a lie, remember, we're going back to my place."

He snorted. "Oh yeah."

I gave him a kiss. I still felt awful for making him feel like I'd ignored him, or worse, used him for sex. I didn't want to get carried away with my emotions about him, but I couldn't help it. He was perfect, all the way down to his insecurities.

In my flat, Alexi was shy once more the same as he had been the first time we'd met. He perched on the end of the sofa, his hands on his knees, and his eyes glancing all over like he was seeing this place for the first time.

"Don't be nervous," I told him. "You want something to drink? I bought more options. Apple juice, perhaps."

Animated once more, Alexi spun around on the sofa to the kitchen behind him. "Apple juice?" he smacked his lips. "For me?"

"I can see I made a good decision buying the apple juice then."

"It one of my favourites!" he said, all giddy, bouncing around on the sofa. And he was back to being comfortable in my space again. "Yes, please. Thank you."

I poured him a glass of apple juice as he got his gifts from the packages ready to be worn, and the teddy bear aired out, expanding almost five-fold. He was gobsmacked by it, gasping at the process like it was magical.

"Ok, so, next time I ask you to stay over, I mean it," I said, handing him the glass tumbler of juice. "Don't second-guess how busy I am. I have time for you. And you're kind of like my own personal stress relief." I winked.

He gulped down the apple juice like it was going out of style. "I needed that."

"You wanna do a little show and tell then with these?" I gestured to the onesies.

Alexi's eyes lit up. I knew I'd made the right decision.

Part of me felt strange in making the decisions and telling him to do things, but in equal measure, I reminded myself that was the dynamic he thrived under, and I was not-so secretly enjoying myself.

Alexi changed right in front of me. He was right, those briefs were oversized on him. I'd forgotten I'd given them to him to wear the other morning when he went home. I'd wanted him to wear something clean.

"They're very loose," I said, grabbing the waistband to stretch them. "Probably fit two of you in there."

He giggled and shimmied out of them. "Oops." He turned around, wiggling his bum.

"Damn, I might not want you to get dressed." I gave his ass a full palm grasp.

He did get dressed though, trying both the onesies on, one after the other in a runway walk down across the apartment. I couldn't decide whether I liked him more with the cute onesies, or when he was naked and acting coy.

I suppose I had plenty of time to figure it out.

"You're really cute," I told him, patting a hand on my knee. "And we have a little more time before I have to get back to work."

He pouted. "I don't wanna go back."

I pulled him into my arms and kissed at his neck. "Stay here while I'm at work," I said. "And I'll figure out something for you. I never want to see you look sad again." I planted one huge kiss on his cheek and held him tight in my bear hug.