15. ALEXI

Warren completed me. He filled me up in more ways than I knew.

Today was an important day at work because we weren't in the office. We were outside in the cold giving samples to people from a stall. But I didn't mind because Warren was there, and I knew Warren wouldn't let me breakdown like I'd broken before.

BabyBoy69: You should bring the kitten! I can't wait to meet you!

Alexxxi: I don't think I can, he's so small and it's cold outside. But you should come and meet him. He's the sweetest!

BabyBoy69: That's why he's called Sugar!

Alexxxi: And I can't wait for you to meet the guy I've been seeing. And don't even think about trying to steal him.

BabyBoy69: Daddies like him don't go for boys like me.

I knew that much was true. Benny was someone who liked to be strapped up with the harnesses. I'd seen the pictures. Warren liked the lace and softness. I was delicate.

In the middle of the city centre, stalls had been set up with stands and flags. Tables were filled with leaflets and small tasters. A lot of the restaurants had come out, and there were food trucks too. It was a nice day, but cold at the end of April, and surprising without rain.

"Marketing got here early to set it up, and operations stored cans in the back. All we're doing is pouring them, handing out surveys, and they get the little recyclable shot glasses," Warren said, explaining as we walked into the small stand.

"Isn't it weird though," I mumbled, standing behind him as Nick, from the marketing team, stood at the stall window, cracking can lids.

"What's weird?" he asked.

"The shot glasses," I said, trying not to speak too loudly. I didn't like being overheard, and I always assumed people were listening to me. "Because you don't sell alcohol."

He placed his hand on my shoulder. He never did that around people we worked with. Watching his lips move as he spoke. I wanted a kiss, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. "Of all the ideas, that's the one Marcus liked the most," he said, "plus, it's paper and it has the logo on. It doesn't make business sense, but there was no talking him out of it." He raised his brows and rolled his eyes.

Warren was intelligent. He always knew what he was talking about, and he always had an answer. He didn't speak down to me—ever. He explained everything to me as another adult, and I appreciated that. Even if all I wanted to do was colour and play with the kitten.

"Ok, and what do you want me to do now?" I asked, looking at the cases of cans behind me.

"Just grab a can, see if there are any empty shot glasses, then make sure they're all filled," Nick said from ahead, turning to me. He'd been listening to what I'd been saying. A creeping nervousness in the back of my throat sent a shiver down my back.

"Do you want to do that?" Warren asked, pulling focus back to him. "I have to speak to Nick."

I nodded to him. "Yeah." As long as I wasn't being made to talk to strangers, asking them what they thought of the drinks or filling in questionnaires.

It was still early and not many people were out. This whole day was a good idea, but maybe not first thing in the morning when everyone was occupied with the stands that had breakfast foods.

I'd been known to drink a nice, fizzy bottle of pop in the morning, but that was a bad habit. I also reminded myself we weren't selling the drinks here. We had to send them to the online store for that. I went through the rules in my mind as people walked on by. I offered them shots of the drink, but they could only have one, and I didn't like to say no.

Warren and Nick stood outside the stall asking questions, handing out flyers, and telling them to fill in the forms for a chance to win a gift card. I was in a world of my own, masking with a smile on my face, nodding and gesturing to the small cups on the table.

"Alexi?" a voice snapped, pulling me out of thought.

I jolted at the sound of my name called like that. I turned fast, almost twisting my ankle. But it wasn't behind me.

"Alexi?" it came again, softer from ahead.

"Huh?" I could barely string a thought together. "Hi."

In front of the stand was a guy. He was tall, dressed in ripped black jeans, a white hoodie and a black harness around the chest and shoulders. I made eye contact with him. His short hair and deep brown eyes, he chuckled.

"It's me," he said, "Benny."

Of course, I'd seen the face before, and I'd seen the outfit. I'd been expecting to see him, but I hadn't thought he would've been this tall or attractive in person.

"Hi," I said, the heat in my face and neck dropping chills on my back. "I thought you'd message first."

"I did," he chuckled, grabbing his phone from his pocket. He had a nose piercing too. I wanted one, but at the same time, they only looked good on certain people, and I feared needles. "You look busy. Oh, what flavours do you have?" he looked down at the table.

"Cola. Cherry. Apple. Mixed fruit. Lemonade." I gestured. "I thought we'd meet for coffee or something, I feel—"

"Oh shit," he grumbled, "I'm sorry. I should've waited for you to message back. The guy I was supposed to meet cancelled on me, so I figured I'd surprise you."

Surprised. He'd done that. I wanted someone to take over, or have Warren comfort me. I felt disoriented. Of course, I told him to visit, but I thought it wouldn't have been this big of a shock.

I'd told Benny things I'd never told anyone else. He was a name on the internet.

"How are you, anyway?" he asked, taking a drink. "Oo, can I keep this?" He tapped a finger at the shot glass.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm—"

"What are you doing here?" Warren's deep voice snapped behind me.

The hairs on my neck tingled and my throat grew tight. It summoned a feeling of fear, a dread knotting in my stomach, pulling me.

"Warren?" Benny laughed.

"What are you doing?" Warren asked, his hand on my shoulder. "I hope you're not stirring shit up?"

Benny chuckled. "I haven't seen you in forever. I didn't know you were keen on sweet boys."

"I—I—" I turned, shrugging Warren's hand off my shoulder. It was like a night terror come to life. I wanted to crawl into a ball and hide.

"Alexi," Warren's soft voice in my ear. "Are you ok?"

"I didn't know you were together," Benny's sharp voice cut through. "But I'm happy for you, Alexi deserves someone good, and—"

"Don't start," Warren called back. "I thought you were in Leeds, or wherever."

I moved myself to the back of the stall and sucked in air slowly. My mind spun, trying to figure out what was happening. Had they been together? How did they know each other?

Warren's warm hand stroked my back. "Everything ok, baby?" he asked, his voice soft again. "I didn't mean for any of that to happen. I—I—"

I turned around but Benny was gone.

"Who is he?"

"I might have overreacted," he said, hugging me from behind. "Benny dated a friend of mine." He pushed a hand through my hair. "I didn't mean to get angry. They were so toxic together. And—and I had to have my friend's back."

"Benny's my friend," I whispered, heat in my face and tears in my eyes.

I'd heard stories of Benny's previous relationships, and sure, some of them were awful, but the reality of facing any of them caught me off guard.

"I know, I know," he said, kissing my forehead. "My friend was at fault too. I—I'm sorry."

My breathing calmed, but my mind continued to race. "Can we go back to the apartment for a bit?" I asked. "I need Sugar."