Aisling Chapter 8

I had to be dreaming. It was the only explanation for what was happening. There was no way Alistair had begged me to stay, all but confessed he loved me and then kissed the hell out of me. A kiss which erased all others I’d ever had. My body was aching. As I stared up at him, his words sank in.

“I love you, Aisling. I want you. I need you. Please, don’t go. Stay here with me.”

I swear I saw pain and desperation on his face. Afraid to break the spell, but hope was flickering in my heart. I opened my mouth to let it all come pouring out. If it were a dream, it wouldn’t matter. If this were real, then he’d either finish breaking me, or I might get my biggest dream fulfilled. I was past caring. It had been festering inside of me like cancer for too long. I pushed on his chest. He reluctantly lifted his head off mine and took a few steps back. I slid along the wall until I reached the chair behind my desk. I dropped down in it. He moved and sat on the edge of my desk. I stared down at my hands. This was too difficult for me to say and do it with eye contact.

“Ais, look at me.”

“I can’t. This is so embarrassing, but here goes. Stair, I have been in love with you since I was thirteen years old. I’ve fought it and tried to make it go away. I knew you didn’t feel the same way. However, no matter who I was with, they were never you, and it didn’t last. This is my final attempt to find happiness. If it fails, I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t want to be alone anymore. Don’t you see? You saying those things gives me hope and hope will only destroy me once and for all. Please, I need you to leave and let me go. I want a family of my own. I can’t do that if I have to see you all the time.”

The tears I’d been trying so hard to hold back spilled down my cheeks. I put my hands over my face and bawled. I was truly broken. The next thing I knew, I was airborne and moving across the room. He sat down on the small loveseat I had in my office. He cradled me on his lap. His lips were moving against my hair. Eventually, they made it to my cheek. My hands were pried away. Great, he got to see me looking like a raccoon. Would this nightmare ever end?

“ Mo ghràdh , please stop crying. You’re killing me. Tell me what to do. I can’t stand to see you in so much pain,” he whispered in my ear.

“I just wish you really did love me, and this wasn’t some crazy scheme my family cooked up to get me to stay.”

“Let me tell you a story. It’s one which started a long time ago. I want you to listen to it, really listen, and don’t interrupt. There was a grown man who came back to the one home he always had. He’d spent years learning to be a protector, and he was almost ready to put those skills to the test at home rather than abroad. While home on leave, he was invited to enjoy a day with his friends, the guys he grew up with and thought of as his brothers and their family was his, which included their sisters being his sisters.”

I squirmed. I knew the day he meant. Jesus, I didn’t need to hear him tell me more. A sister. His words about not being my brother were just words. His arms tightened when I tried to slide off his lap.

“I was by the pool when this absolute vision came striding out in her bathing suit. Standing there wasn’t a girl anymore. She was a beautiful young lady. God, I didn’t know what to think. One thing I knew was I had to protect her and others like her, so I went to work serving the world and her family. Then, two years later, I finally admitted there were more than brotherly feelings in me. I felt like I’d been hit with a lightning bolt or something. She was even more beautiful and so damn sexy. That’s when I acknowledged I desired her, but I couldn’t pursue her. There was no way she wanted me, and besides, her family would never see me as good enough for her.”

I made a protesting sound, but he placed his fingers over my lips to stop me from talking.

“Shh, let me finish. I watched as the years passed and she got more gorgeous, smarter, and sexier and went on to be a successful businesswoman. I ached for her, and every time I saw her with another man, I wanted to tear their hearts out and scream she was mine, but I didn’t. I kept quiet. It wasn’t until your wreck that I found out there was hope.” He gave me a faint smile. I raised a brow in question. What changed with my wreck? I was now hanging onto every word.

“When I heard what happened to you and that you were life-flighted to a hospital, I almost died. Fear and panic filled me. We couldn’t leave soon enough to suit me. Your daid and the others got me in the Command Center and told me what happened. This was after I’d heard before how you were cozying up to Brynes, and they thought you might be getting serious with him. It gutted me. After they dropped the bomb about the wreck, they hit me with something else.”

“What?” I said, despite his edict.

“How they all knew I loved you and had for years, and they were tired of waiting for me to make a move. They wanted to know why I didn’t and if I was willing to stand back and let him have you. I confessed it all.”

“If that’s true, why did you say nothing until today after I told everyone I’m leaving?” I asked.

“Because I was waiting for you to heal, then I planned to tell you and beg you to give me a chance. They all swore you loved me too. I was afraid to hope. I know I’m not good enough for you. I have blood on my hands, and I’ve done terrible things to protect others, but no one in this world will love you or work to make you happy like I will. Mo shealladh àlainn , tell me if I’ve waited too long.” He whispered the last part as he stared into my eyes.

I gave him his answer in the only way I knew how. As I did, I prayed I wasn’t setting myself up to be devastated. I reached up and latched onto his neck, then drew his head down to mine. My mouth crashed into his, and I kissed him like a starving woman. He groaned then he gripped me tightly against him, and our mouths hungrily attacked each other. My body went up in flames as my pussy became slick with my cream, and my nipples became hard beads. I pressed my legs together, trying to get some kind of relief. I hadn’t had sex in a long time. For me, the only sexual release I’d been getting was self-induced with my fingers or toys.

As I writhed on his lap, I ended up finding a large bulge. I gasped. He pressed up into me, pressing it against my pussy. I slid back and forth over him. We both moaned. I kept riding him until he grabbed my hips and held me still. He lifted his mouth away from mine. I followed, trying to reconnect our mouths.

“Ais, you have to stop. If you don’t, I’ll either come in my pants, or I’ll strip you naked and take you right here.”

“Don’t come in your pants. It’s such a waste. Come inside of me,” I begged. I found his bulge and squeezed him. He threw back his head and groaned long and hard.

“Fuck, you’re making this so hard. I didn’t come here to take advantage. I just wanted you to know how I feel. We need to take things slow.”

“I don’t want to go slow. We’ve been at a snail’s pace for years. Either you love me and want me, or you don’t. I want proof. Show me,” I challenged him.

His face tightened as he fought to restrain himself. I kept rubbing along his bulge. Dia , I couldn’t wait to see him. He felt so thick and long. My pussy ached to be filled. I hadn’t had sex with a man in two years. His hand came up and grabbed my hair in the back.

“You have to be one hundred percent sure I’m what you want because once I’ve been inside of you, there’ll be no going back. You’ll be mine until the day I die. I’ll be the only man who touches you. Only my seed will be inside of you. It’ll be my babies growing in your womb. I don’t share, and I don’t give up what’s mine,” he snarled. He had this wild look. It excited and frightened me at the same time. More moisture flooded my panties.

“Please. I need you, Stair. I’ll die if you don’t show me,” I whimpered.

A loud growl came out of him, then I was up in his arms again, and he was striding for the door. It took no time for him to reach my bedroom upstairs. He had been here enough times to know the layout. He held me in one arm as he locked the bedroom door. When he was done, he brought me to the bed and laid me down. He straightened and scanned me. His look made me feel as if he’d stripped me naked with a look. I shivered. I watched as he began to unbutton his shirt. I’d seen him shirtless numerous times, but it never got old. He was a work of art, in my opinion. He should always go around bare-chested. As he took it off, I sat up enough to drag my sweater over my head.