Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Mara

I just attack him when he arrives. I open the door. I grab hold of him and pull him inside, clawing at his clothes without ever saying a word to him.

I'd forgotten.

How the hell does a person forget?

But I saw what he did on the news. I saw him go right into the house and I saw it burning. I cursed the local station because they always do this. They always keep the cameras on the action even if there's no update. So, I just watch a burning house for five or ten minutes knowing that Jonah is inside there!

I can't believe I forgot how it feels to know he might not come out of the burning building. I don't know how the hell I forgot but I did. For fuck's sake, Jonah is worried about our age gap being unfair to me.I think if I write a list of all of the worries I might associate with this relationship, the age gap won't even be in the top hundred.

Jonah dying in the course of his duties is number one, no question at all.

I'm not trying to say that I'm some weak, helpless idiot who can't handle life. I mean, it feels that way, I guess. I know he's a fireman. So, I knew what I was getting into from the start. How the hell something like that slips a girl's mind is beyond me.

Of course, my mind races like crazy now. I don't think it actually slips my mind that it's terrifying when he fights fires. It's just not always a hundred percent in the front of my mind, if that makes sense. He has a very dangerous job. It's something I accept, something I accepted long ago.

He knows what's going on, I think. I wish he didn't. But I think he does because he lets me pull his shirt from his jeans. He doesn't help. He knows I need to make this happen and I need to be the one who drives it. I need to have a measure of control. I push his shirt up as high as I can and he takes over then but slowly, lazily.

I kiss the bottom of his breastbone. Yeah, that's lip-level for me. That's how damned tall he is.

And then I kiss lower. I don't think I intend to make this a blowjob when I start. Hell, I don't think I intend anything in particular when it comes to the sex acts. I mean, I don't intend any specific thing when I start. I just desperately need him. I need him any way I can have him.

And since I'm kissing lower, I figure out the fastest way to get his dick inside of me is for my mouth to be the hole involved.

Wow.

What a crass and juvenile way for me to say that!That's me. Mara, the girl with holes for dicks. Wow.

Oh well. Who cares? I mean, it's true, at least. I want his dick and I want it now. I don't care where his dick ends up. I just want it. I mean, what I want is intimacy and a measure of control. I guess there's very little sexually that can do that compared to a blowjob, right?

I don't have any trouble getting him unbuttoned and unzipped, which is a nice thing. Usually, I'm so worked up that I need help. This time, I get his jeans undone and then slide them down. This is where there's just a touch of awkwardness because he still wears his shoes but he carefully pushes each shoe off with the other foot.

While he does, I kiss him through his underwear. I love that he's already turned on and straining against the cotton. I force myself to pull away, though, and to get his jeans over his feet.

And now, finally, I pull his underwear down and release him. I've pulled him into my mouth deeply before he even manages to step completely out of his briefs. He staggers and almost falls. "Oh shit," I hear him mumble as he leans back against the closed door for support.

I guess I've decided that this is going to be wild and rough. At least, I don't anticipate anything romantic and sweet here. I throw out the whole idea of teasing and just keep going deeper. I get more excited and more daring with each exclamation from him. Soon, he's not even saying words, he's just growling and groaning.

I pull off him for a while to stop and stare up at him. He's panting and shaking and I feel the most amazing sense of power and joy. He looks down at me and lets out another gasp and groans as I open my mouth wide and go as deep as I can again.

This time, I want to make it all the way down, which is a big ask because, well, he's fucking big. I slow down only to give my throat and body time to relax and then, I plunge my mouth forward on him and his entire body stiffens. His shaft is rock hard and I let my tongue coax it along until I get to just the last bit.

I'm panicked and fighting against gagging and choking but finally, I feel my chin hit his balls and my nose is tickled by his pubic hair. I stay there but let myself back up an inch and then move forward. I managed that three times. "Holy fuck, Mara!"

I want to smile but, obviously, my current position makes that difficult. I pull back and look up at him. I want to have a triumphant and almost maliciously sexual look on my face. I think the fact that I have to draw in air just to keep from passing out kind of ruins that.

I get my mouth back on him. Then, I feel his hand on the back of my head and I start to suck as hard as I can as he forces me back all the way down. I can't believe how sexy it is and how much I love it. He lets me go and I pull my mouth off. I grab his hand and put it on the back of my head. "Again." I put my mouth back on him.

And he takes it again literally.

He forces me all the way down. He doesn't let go but holds me there. It's terrifying but when he lets up, I croak out, "Again!" before I've even finished getting enough air.

So, he does it again.

And he doesn't wait for permission the next time. He lets me get a breath or two and then forces himself deep again.

We do this about a dozen times, and he forces me to take him completely every single time. Force is too strong a term since I'm asking him to do it. You get the point, though. He uses his hand to make my panic irrelevant. Then, he lets out a growl and I have two hands on my head.

I suck hard and then, my throat is filled with warmth as he cums. I hold onto his muscled legs and swallow as fast as I can because, at this point, I'm practically passing out. It seems never ending but he finally slips from my mouth and I collapse onto my ass on the floor.I know it's just in my head but it sure seems like I have to swallow several times to get it all down.

I mean, he came with three or more inches of his cock in my throat. There was no cum in my mouth, I don't think.

Immediately, Jonah reaches down, pulls me up, and grabs at my pants. I'm so horny I almost let him get me undressed but instead, I pull away from him and bat his hands away when he reaches to pull me back.

"Nope. I've got dinner in the oven and it's almost done. Now, go shower and clean up."

It takes a lot to rebuff him right then, but he does what I ask. I finish dinner and set the table and I realize how wonderful it feels to see two place settings. I think about how amazing it felt to have him come home and for me to make him happy. Then, I also think about how hard it would be to go back to just one place setting again. Damn it! Why do these thoughts have to plague me like this?

He comes back down looking fresh and even more handsome. We eat dinner and his presence just lights up every bit of my body and mind and soul. He behaves, too, not even mentioning anything about me stopping him.

Of course, the moment dinner is over, he's got plans. We didn't even get to dessert before he pulled me from the table and dragged me to the bedroom.

I have absolutely no control now but I still feel pretty damned triumphant when we're through.