54. Wren

54

WREN

L eaving the hospital, I thought I would have felt some sort of relief. Instead, all I wanted to do was crawl back into the bed where I could shut the world out and not have to deal with the consequences of my actions.

Pathetic, right?

I no longer felt like the woman who had grown so much over the years, and in her place, was someone who I was terrified of becoming.

Someone who was no longer worthy.

To be so careless with the people I adored. To be so reckless and foolish, I thought if by pretending I was a normal woman, I would become one. Lying to Mal, lying to Greg and Shelia… lying to myself, I had no one else to blame but me.

And here I was.

My heart withered and broken, my ego bruised, and my soul severed into irredeemable pieces. I was experiencing the intensity of grief all over again, but this time, I knew there was no recovering from it.

Not after all my deception and lies.

I knew then, it was time to leave. Even after everything, I knew I didn't belong in Seattle anymore, and to respect his wishes of giving him space, I had told Jim that I appreciated everything, but I wouldn't be coming back to work for the Orchids.

After a lengthy phone call, he ultimately understood my decision and told me that I could come back anytime. Saying goodbye to Trevor and the rest of the team sucked, but telling Kate that I was leaving was the absolute worst. After an hour of sharing tears and her trying to convince me to stay, she reluctantly agreed with my decision and had James go get my things from Mal's house.

As much as I wanted to see him one last time, I couldn't. In order to make things right, I had to leave.

I had to face my mistakes, even if it hurt the ones I loved most.

Saying goodbye to Kate, I had told her I'd be back again soon. Within months she'd be having James Jr. and I knew I couldn't miss the birth of her little baby boy. So, here I was now, on my way back home with one destination in mind and already my nerves had heightened.

I tried distracting myself for as long as I could with scheduling a doctor's appointment, singing to the radio, listening to an audiobook, but it was all useless. All I felt like doing was crying. Ugly, desperate tears until I was finally numb to the pain.

I even checked my phone every few minutes for a call or text message from Mal, but would always be disappointed to see no new notifications.

That only made me want to bawl my eyes out even more.

It was getting late, the sun was sinking, and my chest felt like it had a heavy weight strapped to it. I hadn't let Shelia or Greg know that I was coming home and I knew I'd be in for it once they saw me pulling up into their driveway.

I wasn't their child.

I wasn't even their daughter-in-law, but in my heart, I knew they saw me as much more than either of the two.

And that's what killed me about this whole situation. I was too afraid to tell them that I had fallen in love with their other son, the one they no longer had contact with and the one they thought I'd be bringing back home.

I wasn't just a failure, I was weak.

Finally, with the crunch of the gravel driveway signaling my arrival, I immediately noticed the front porch light turning on. I wasn't prepared for them to react so quickly, but once I had my car in park, Shelia was running out of the house and toward the driver's side of my car.

"Wren?!" she shouted frantically as she threw open the car door and reached for any part of me. "What… where… Oh my god, I thought you… I thought…" she rambled through her tears, causing me to jump out of my seat and throw myself into her awaiting arms.

Immediately, a sense of warmth and home hit me.

"I'm home. I'm here and I'm an idiot for not returning any of your calls or texts," I admitted on a string of confessions.

She tugged me in closer as sobs began to pour out of us.

"Shhh… I'm just happy that you're here. That's all that matters right now, okay? Whatever happened, it doesn't matter, we can talk about it later."

Caressing the back of my head, I cried even more from how quickly she'd forgiven me. Without any question, without any doubts.

"It does matter and I can't lie to the two of you any longer. You don't deserve to be left in the dark when all you do is love me and make sure that I'll always be okay."

"Wren, it's okay. Let's just get you inside, okay?" She pulled away from me to look at my tired face and frowned.

"Wren? Is that you?" Greg's voice then appeared and in a matter of seconds, I heard the sound of heavy footsteps approaching us. It sounded like he was running and when he finally stopped beside us, I lunged at him on a cry.

"God, Wren, where the hell have you been?" He tugged me into his hammering chest. "Why haven't you reached out to us?"

"I'm so sorry, I should've called you guys every night, but… I…" I trailed off as my thoughts drifted over to Mal. "So much… So much happened."

"Let's get her inside, Greg," Shelia urged, and soon we were all headed for the house where immediately I felt like I was home.

And that's when I told them everything.

How I had fallen in love with Mal and how I lied about everything.

How I was scared to tell them the truth.

And how in the end, I had lost him.