51. Wren

51

WREN

E verything about tonight was perfect.

Actually, it was more than perfect, it was one of those memorable nights that you knew you would never forget even if you wanted to. It was just all too… unforgettable.

The view, the ocean, the man, it was all way too good to be true and that's why I had crawled my way into Mal's lap as he held on to me fiercely.

I didn't want this to be a dream. I didn't want there to ever be a possibility that this might end, so I clung on tightly to the man of my dreams behind me.

We were full of chicken and strawberries that we hand fed each other, and now we were just enjoying the crashing waves against the shore. The sun had finally set, leaving only the light of the moon to illuminate our surroundings.

A flash of a distant memory had struck me out of nowhere, causing my gut to twist painfully and my eyes to slam shut.

"Dance with me, Blue," his voice, as clear as day, had said in the back of my head. A memory from my first date with Hayes, one that I'd always hold close to my heart.

"Doe?" Mal questioned from behind me, obviously noticing a change in me as a tear formed in the corner of my eye.

With my head inches away from the crook of his neck, it was easy for him to look down at my face, and see the stray tears that were currently falling down my cheeks.

God, Wren, don't ruin this perfect night with your crying.

I couldn't help it, though.

Even if I wanted to stop, I couldn't.

"Baby? Why are you crying? What's wrong?" The terror in his tone had my heart fluttering but I hated that I was ultimately going to ruin our date. We should be laughing, kissing, whispering sweet nothings to each other, yet here I was crying.

Crying for Hayes.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to start crying randomly like that but I just… I…" Shaking my head, I struggled to finish what I wanted to say.

Before, bringing up Hayes was a topic I never wanted to discuss with him. And not because I didn't want to, but more so I didn't feel the need to.

But now… Now everything had changed.

I was in love with Hayes's best friend and even just admitting that in my head made me dizzy with fear.

Mal then gripped the bottom of my chin with his fingers and twisted my head to the side until we were nearly eye to eye. "Doe, please? Tell me what's bothering you so I can fix it," he begged.

Fuck.

I felt horrible.

My stomach knotted with the truth of what I needed to confess to him, but I desperately didn't want to.

But I knew I needed to.

"I'm scared to admit why," I confessed on a hushed whisper that had Mal's face crumbling. He looked like all he wanted to do was smother me in love until my tears had finally subsided.

Pressing a firm kiss to the crown of my head, he tilted my head with the grip he had on my chin.

"You can tell me anything, Doe. Whatever it is, I don't care. I just want these tears to stop, okay?"

My god, he was making it worse with his sweet, kind words and his body that warmed me completely. I needed to find the strength to trust him with my pain. To trust him with the uncomfortable, wounding things that would forever be a part of me.

Despite the terrible timing of it, I was ready to open up to him.

"It's… It's you holding me like this," I began to say as his arm around my middle tightened. "That brought back a memory of Hayes and me."

The words tore through my throat as they came out and instantly, I shifted my head out of Mal's grip.

Too afraid to look at him.

"The first date we shared, he held me like this."

A rush of air from behind me had grazed the side of my face and already, I could sense a change in the air. I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, tension, sympathy, anger, but it was thick.

"I know I shouldn't be bringing up Hayes like this. It's not fair to you, or what we have, but I couldn't bear the thought of not being honest with you."

I could feel his chest expand as silence filled the air.

I hated it, but I couldn't deny his feelings just like I couldn't with mine.

"Mal, I'm…" I went to say, but he had silenced me with a tug on my hair, causing my head to tip back and meet his eyes.

"Don't," he demanded. "Don't apologize for that. I don't expect you to pretend like the two of you never existed."

His stare was fierce and unwavering.

"I acknowledge the love you two shared with one another and I know that a fraction of your heart will always belong to him. I can accept that, Doe. Even if it means I won't have the entirety of your love like you will mine."

Tears began to leak from the corners of my eyes and with a quick swipe of his fingers, he brushed them away.

"Mal…" I cried, but he quieted me with a finger over my mouth.

"I'm not finished, Doe. Just, please… Let me get this out before I lose all the strength to," he pleaded through a pained expression that nearly killed me to see. "I can't lie to you and say that I'm not jealous. That a really selfish fucking part of me wishes that you were just mine, and mine alone, but I know that will never be the case. Hayes was your first love, but I want to be your last. Even if I have to share it with him."

Twisting around in his arms, I needed him closer. Straddling myself over his large thighs, I wrapped my arms around his neck until we were finally at eye level.

So many tears had formed in my eyes that his face was now a giant blur.

I didn't know what I did to deserve such a kind-hearted, understanding man whose only objective was to adore me.

To make me happy.

To give my heart and soul a safe home.

It didn't make sense, but I refused to question it.

"Baby…" Mal used the pad of his thumbs to clear my eyes of all the tears. "I hate seeing you cry."

"I know." I whimpered. "I can't help it, though. You're so different from the man I thought you would be, Mal. So different."

A smile lifted across his mouth.

"It's hard not to be when I have you making me want to be a better man."

A flurry of butterflies exploded in the pit of my belly. And that's when I realized something. While peering into the eyes I had once loathed, the face that I had found so handsome, yet so different from Hayes, I realized that there were all different kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.

Never.

And as his rough palms held my face, I didn't think twice before leaning in close to place a tender kiss to his forehead. His eyes had tightly shut on an inaudible groan that rumbled throughout his chest.

"I hope I haven't ruined our date with all this emotional talk." I pulled away from his face and laid my forehead against his.

His arms had then swooped around my waist where he pulled me into his embrace.

"You haven't ruined anything, so get that thought out of your pretty little head," he reassured me. "Hands down the best first date ever."

I couldn't stop myself from grinning from ear to ear.

"Even if I cried?"

"Even if you cried. Even if you yelled at me."

Even if I told you the truth of why I was here?

Guilt had swarmed my gut and I knew it was time to tell him. Whether I wanted to or not, I had to remind myself that to move on with our lives, I would have to tell him.

I would have to tell Greg and Shelia too.

But right now, as my heart hammered violently, I finally went to unload everything. But right before I could, I was lifted off of Mal's lap and laid softly onto my back. It all happened so quickly that my vision had gone hazy before finally refocusing on the stunning man who had settled right above me.

His elbow landed onto the blanket beside my head, while his other hand had clung onto my cheek. His eyes had no longer looked lost and vacant like they once did. Instead, they were filled with a warmth that would only come out around me.

Only ever for me.

"God, Doe. You came out of fucking nowhere and made me yours."

My heart fluttered at his confession.

Then with hesitant eyes and hesitant movements, he brought his mouth close to mine, our lips barely grazing in a ghost of a touch.

Finally, in a whisper, one that rocked me to my core, he confessed, "I love you, Doe. So fucking much."

My chest filled with an abundance of relief and happiness that I let out a sharp gasp along the seam of his mouth.

Finding my next breath of air, I closed the distance between our mouths and fused them together. I was desperate to show him just how much I adored him. How deeply and madly I had fallen for him over the time we had been together.

"I…" I kissed him with everything I had. "Love you." He leaned more of his weight onto me. "Too."

He pulled back abruptly, his widened eyes and flared-out nostrils taking in every square inch of my face.

"I love you, Mal," I repeated. The words fell out naturally as I did so.

His gaze flashed in amazement.

In pure shock.

All I could think about doing was pulling him back down onto me.

"Tell me you're mine," he demanded softly, causing my heart to flip.

"I'm yours."

For the remainder of our date, we made love underneath the stars. Soul-churning, heart-rendering sex that had me breathless by dawn. I never found the perfect time to confess everything to Mal and I knew that soon, it would come back and bite me in the ass. But tonight, I let myself bask in the precious moments we shared tonight.

Not once regretting a single thing.