50. Mal

50

MAL

I couldn't get enough of Doe.

She was slowly becoming an intricate part of my existence. My means of survival. My fucking everything.

Her smile was a relaxant. Her voice became my coping mechanism. And her body… Her body became my salvation. My outlet to the emotions I couldn't express but did so through the utmost care and in-depth attention to detail.

I studied each cry she made. Whether soft and breathy or desperate and deafening. I memorized every tremble, every intake of breath until I had her down to a fucking science.

I'd wring every last ounce of an orgasm from her until she had nothing left to give. Until I poured every last drop of my heart and soul into her.

She was my obsession.

My saving grace.

And the more entangled we became, the harder I found myself falling for the woman who was never supposed to be mine.

For once, I felt happy. I felt eager for the future and what may come, especially knowing I'd have Doe right by my side.

Even now as we sat in my car, one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on her exposed thigh, my heart was in a constant state of hammering. Every chance I could, I'd steal a quick glance over at her and I swear in that brief second, I lost all ability to function properly.

She was so goddamn breathtaking that it hurt to look at her.

"So, where are you taking me?" She peered over at me with excitement floating around in her gaze.

"You'll see."

I gave her a small grin in return and with the dramatic roll of her eyes, she shifted her attention out the passenger window when we finally exited off the highway toward our destination.

Already I could see the steady waves of the ocean peeking through the distance. A favorite spot of mine that today I was going to share with Doe.

"Can you at least tell me what kind of food we're going to be having?" She sighed in frustration.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't you trust me?" I had shot her a look and noticed a playful pout on her mouth.

I wanted to reach over and fix it.

"Of course I do, I'm just excited."

Excited.

Fuck.

A burst of satisfaction had entered my bloodstream and trailed its way up to my chest. Never had I been so eager to please a woman. To go out of my way to prove that I was actually worthy enough to have her as mine.

And it felt natural too.

Being this man for her. Or at least trying to be the man I know she deserves.

The sun was about an hour away from setting when we finally pulled in a small hidden parking lot off the side of a side street. Already I could sense the confusion from her as her eyes took in our surroundings.

"This doesn't look like a restaurant…" She slowly unbuckled her seat belt and continued to search out each window for a nonexistent building.

The whole time Doe was getting ready, I was preparing a meal to take with us. I grilled some chicken, made a bowl of pasta salad, and cut up a carton of strawberries. Tonight, I just wanted it to be us. No restaurants, no crowds, just her and me.

I just hoped that what I cooked didn't turn out to taste like shit.

I had no fucking clue what I was doing, or whether she'd even want to do this, but I had no other option now.

"That's because it's not." I threw her a smile before stepping out of the car and walking over to her side. Before she could open it, I swiftly grabbed ahold of the door handle and opened it myself.

This was my first date.

Ever.

And I wanted to do it right.

Then extending my hand out for her to grab, she did so willingly but not before giving me her signature smile. One that knocked the breath right out of me.

"Thank you." Her smile deepened as I had pulled her to her feet. "Now, where are we? Doesn't look like there's much around here."

She did a complete three-sixty turn before resting a hand on her hip.

"That's because there's not. It's one of my favorite places to be when I need a breath of fresh air or just to get away from the city."

Walking around to the trunk of the car, I waved my foot beneath a sensor that had the trunk door swinging open. On the floorboard was a simple basket with our food and drinks inside, a few blankets, and a sweatshirt for Doe because I knew she would get cold.

As I reached for it all, Doe came up behind me and gasped.

"Is that a picnic basket?" she asked as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"Yeah." I chuckled. "Thought it would be better if it was just the two of us tonight."

Once I had everything in my hands and closed the trunk, I turned toward Doe who was fighting with her bottom lip.

She looked like she wanted to cry.

Fuck.

Had I already screwed this up?

"You made us food?" Her voice wobbled with emotion and when I nodded, she smiled so fucking brightly that the sun had nothing on her.

She was radiant.

My goddamn sunshine and I'd be a fool for not wanting to see her smile like that for the rest of our lives.

"Are you secretly a romantic, Mal?" she teased through her happiness that was extremely infectious.

"For you, I guess I am," I admitted.

Her eyes softened as she took a step toward me. Her arms reached out to snatch the blankets from my hold, but I refused to have her carry anything.

"I got it, Doe."

I ignored her scowl and began to walk toward the trail that led us down to the beach. The temperature was perfect, the breeze was just enough to create a calming atmosphere, and finally the water…

So violent yet so fucking peaceful at the same time it reminded me of myself.

Once we were at the distance from the crashing waves, I finally set everything down and laid out one giant blanket for us to lay on. Stepping out of my shoes, I took a spot on the side of the blanket and when I realized that Doe had yet to follow suit, I peered up at her.

Standing just behind the blanket, a look of awe had taken residence on her face. Eyes on the ocean in front of us, she looked to be in a complete trance.

Mesmerized by the scene in front of us, and she was taking her time to soak it all in.

But while she was staring at the water, I was busy staring at her. The best fucking view of all and it took everything in my power to not yank her down onto this blanket and have her see her first set of stars for the night.

"God, Mal. This is…" She shook her head as if she was in disbelief of this place. "So perfect. This beats every fancy five-star fucking restaurant any day of the week."

A deep laughter rumbled out of me.

"The view? Fuck yes. But the food?" I grabbed the basket and opened it to reveal my creation. "Definitely not five-star quality."

I then watched as she tore off her shoes before dropping down beside me onto her knees and cradling my face.

"I don't care about how the food tastes, Mal. It could be the worst thing that ever touched my tongue and I wouldn't care." Desperate to touch her, she must have read my mind because she then leaned her forehead against mine. "This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me in such a long time. Just knowing that you put effort into making this means so much to me. More than you'll ever know."

My eyes closed on pure instinct.

I couldn't handle the intensity of her words or just how greatly they affected me. When all my life I had only been told negatives, to hear anything positive, to hear anything remotely good, made me feel like I was on cloud fucking nine.

But along with that, it came with severe doubts.

And I did my best to push it aside for tonight.

On the one night I just wanted to enjoy my time with my girl.

So then rising up slightly, I seared my mouth to hers with the promise of forever.

With the promise of never losing sight of what we had found and what we would always have.