47. Mal

47

MAL

" I 'm glad you ended up messaging me," James announced in the driver's seat. "I was bored as fuck without Kate being at home to bug."

Jesus Christ, how did I get caught up in this predicament?

One minute I was texting James not to come to my home, then the next, I was in his tiny fucking car on my way to gate crash a pasta restaurant.

In all my years knowing this guy, never had I once been around him long enough to engage in an actual one-on-one conversation. As much as I dreaded it, I at least was one step closer to seeing Doe.

"Yeah, not exactly fun without Wren either," I grumbled.

He then glanced at me from the corner of his eye.

"Things goin' good for you two?"

That was the first time anyone else had mentioned our relationship to me. It felt strange, but a sense of overwhelming pride filled me knowing that Doe and I were seen as a couple.

I nodded.

"She's the best thing that could have ever happened to me," I confessed.

He seemed to have liked that answer.

"I can see it," he said on a cough. "Whenever you talk about her or mention that she's in your life, you seem more… content. Happier, and it's damn good to see."

My breath had caught in my throat.

Was it really that noticeable now? At least to others and not just myself? I sure as fuck felt fortunate, I just didn't expect others to notice, let alone care.

I felt exposed now.

Like layers of myself were coming undone and I was finally being discovered.

Noticed.

"I feel content." I swallowed. "But I feel like it's all too good to be true too."

I wasn't a stranger to bad things happening. If anything, I knew it all too well and the thought of losing Doe made it painful to take in a breath.

And I had no clue why I felt the need to confess that to James. It wasn't like he understood or gave a fuck about what I felt.

I was the asshole teammate.

The one who shut everyone out, and I wouldn't blame him for answering with the single word—karma.

It's what I deserved anyway.

"Don't let your worries run your life, Mal. I know it's easy to do, because, hell… Even I worry about the future. My wife's future. My son's future. But I can't dwell on things that I'm not in control of, or else I'll just drive myself insane."

I understood, more than he knew, but having someone else other than Hayes be my voice of reason felt fucking bizarre.

I didn't hate it as much as I thought I would either.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked, and I briefly peered over at his face.

A roguish smile was pulled across his mouth and I knew I had to say yes.

"Sure."

"I saw you smile for the first time the other day."

My eyebrows drew together.

What the hell? How is that… That can't be right.

"When we played at Sutton, I would make inner bets with myself on whether you would smile or not. I even tried to come up with shitty jokes to tell you and not once did you ever crack one for me." He chuckled and for a brief second, I went back through my past memories and an image of James and me at some frat party popped in my head.

That whole night he would come up to me randomly and tell me a horrible joke.

Now I know why.

"I'm guessing you remember that night?" He laughed as I shook my head.

"Terrible fucking jokes, Hendricks. I don't think anyone would have smiled at those."

"Maybe not back then, but hey… My wife thinks I'm a comedian, so that's all that matters." The corner of my mouth turned as he continued. "But, anyway, I was walking to my car after practice last Tuesday when I finally saw you smile. You were carrying Wren on your back and she was kissing the side of your face."

I could easily recall that day and still felt the imprint of her lips on me. I think I almost ripped the corners of my mouth from smiling so hard.

"It was a good smile, Mal. Not quite as good as mine, but it did stop me in my tracks."

I had no idea how to respond to that, but a part of me no longer felt so annoyed in his presence.

Not quite to the point where we'd be all buddy-buddy with each other. Not like that would fucking happen anyway, but it still felt nice to know that someone actually gave a shit.

"Hard not to smile when she's around."

Already, I was counting down the time until she'd make me smile again. Fuck, even just talking about her made me want to smile.

"Just wait till she's got you smiling like it's your job. That's when you know she's the one." He sighed. "I think my mouth is permanently in a smile because of Kate."

It didn't take a smile for me to know that Wren was the one for me.

For me, it was already written in the stars and I knew without a doubt, she was always meant to be mine.