45. Wren

45

WREN

One week later

N ow that I had officially moved into Mal's house, I couldn't have been happier. Every morning I'd wake up beside him, but most of the time, I'd find him settled between my legs where he'd awaken me with his skilled mouth.

The sex was explosive. In the car, after practice, on any and every surface of the house, he'd find a way to take me.

We couldn't seem to keep our hands off of each other.

At work, everyone on the team and organization had found out about our relationship and embraced it with open arms. You could even notice a shift in Mal when he was on and off the ice. More approachable, and every now and then I would catch him in conversation with a teammate smiling.

SMILING.

Everything seemed to be going great. He was happy, I was happy, it was as if we had finally found a semblance of peace in our lives that we never thought was possible. That there was finally light at the end of the tunnel for us, but I knew it was all too good to be true.

And it was all because of me and my lies.

Falling asleep was easy, but staying asleep was beginning to become more and more of a struggle now. I'd wake up in a pool of my own sweat, fearful of the damage I would cause once I confessed to Mal why I was here.

Every night I'd come seconds away from revealing it all, but in the end, my panic would stop me.

The guilt was eating me alive and it wasn't just toward Mal, but also Greg and Shelia who I've been doing my best to avoid.

To make matters worse, I had been staring at a message Shelia had sent me over an hour ago that I haven't yet responded to. I felt like I was on the verge of tears looking at it.

Shelia: I hope you're doing okay. Please call us soon, we miss you.

Even just by reading it, I could sense the worry and despair. I hated it. I hated that I was essentially doing what Mal had done to them and the thought made my stomach churn violently.

"Hey, you okay?" Kate asked as she stepped out of the bathroom with a concerned expression across her face. Her belly was getting bigger, and more adorable, but right now, I struggled to form any sort of happy thought.

"Yes… No, not really." I sniffled as I threw myself backward onto her bed and peered up at the ceiling. She knew I had been in a funk lately and that's why I was here.

I needed my best friend.

"Is it Mal? Did he do something stupid?"

Taking the spot beside me, I could almost hold in a laugh as her face scrunched in fury as a hint of redness spread across her cheeks.

"Yes, partly, but he didn't do anything wrong," I told her. "I'm just upset with myself."

Her expression went from angry to confused.

"What do you mean?"

I sighed.

"What I mean is, I'm lying to the people I care most about and I'm pretending like everything is fine." I threw my arm over my eyes to shield the tears that are desperate to fall. "Mal knows nothing about why I'm actually here. He thinks I randomly took this job and now I'm living with him… How fucked up is that?" I chuckled but nothing about it was funny.

More like disturbing.

"Wren…" Kate began to try to justify my actions, but I quickly interfered.

"And poor Greg and Shelia… I barely have the courage to text them back, let alone carry on a full conversation with them now. I'm supposed to be bringing him back, Kate, for them. Not fall in love with Hayes's best friend." I cried out as her shocked eyes landed on mine.

"You love him?" Her now tearful eyes were swarmed with an emotion I hadn't seen in so long.

Not since I had met Hayes.

"I…" A rush of sensations bombarded me as I struggled to answer her question.

Did I love him? I wanted to say yes, but I was terrified to admit it.

"It doesn't matter." I shook it off quickly. "It won't matter once I tell him why I'm here."

It was a lie, of course, because it would matter. My heart wouldn't stand another blow and neither could his.

"It does matter, Wren. It's okay to admit that you've found love again. There's nothing to be ashamed about." Her hand had fallen onto the top of mine where she squeezed it.

My eyes fell closed as I let her reassuring words wash over me.

"When I'm here, with Mal, nothing about us feels wrong. Everything feels… perfect." My heart pounded at the mention of Mal. "But once I'm away from him, I think about how I'm betraying the people I love the most and how wrong it should be that I'm with Mal."

She continued to squeeze my hand in a steady reoccurrence.

"I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I feel like all the walls are slowly closing in on me and I'm losing all the ability to breathe. I'm terrified to admit to Mal that I'm a liar and I'm dreading the day I have to tell Greg and Shelia that I have fallen for their other son."

I expected tears to pour from my eyes, but I was too gone, too stuck on my deception that I felt like I didn't have the right to cry.

"Oh, Wren." Kate laid beside me. "No one is or will ever be disappointed with you. It's not possible."

Lying on her side with her hand propped under her hand and the other holding her belly, she made sure our eyes were horizontal with one another.

"You're a strong, beautiful woman who has for eleven years clung onto her lost love without the intention of ever falling in love ever again. We all know that, Wren. We all know just how much you love and adore Hayes still and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that." She smiled. "You've come so far, and have grown so much, that you never expected to be swept off your feet by the one man that you feel like you shouldn't have. And if I knew any better, the two of you denied it for as long as you could before you couldn't take it any longer."

I couldn't tear my eyes away from hers. The truths that were spilling out made me feel so much more at ease. Like I was finally being understood.

"Mal will understand if you tell him the truth. He might get upset, but the man is head over heels and in no way would he ever risk losing you."

My mouth turned to the side.

"And as far as Greg and Shelia go, they know you'd never replace their son. They know he will always hold a special place in your heart and deep down, you know all they want for you is to be happy." She then took her finger and brought it up to my face where she brushed away a stray tear. "Whether it be Mal or not."

I nodded through the tremors that were currently wreaking havoc on my body. I wanted to believe all that what she was saying was true, but I couldn't help but have my doubts. Nothing about this situation was normal.

Nothing about it was easy, and in the end, I knew someone would get hurt.

Whether it would be just be me, or all of us.

"But sooner, rather than later, you'll have to tell them. It's not good for your heart to have all this stress to deal with." Her tone went from mama bear to worried in seconds.

That's how I knew she'd make a great mother.

"I know," I grumbled. "I will, I just… I just need to come up with a plan on when to do it."

"Why don't you send Shelia a text and let her know that you're doing okay. At least to keep hers and your mind at ease for a little while before you decide on what to do."

I agreed with her on that, so I quickly opened our thread of messages and sent a reassuring text that instantly made me feel more relaxed.

"Good." Kate nodded. "See? You just need someone to tell you that everything will be okay. And it will be."

My heart had eventually lowered to a more normal pace and my mind wasn't so sporadic with assumptions and worries of the future. I found myself sitting up and running a hand through my tangled locks.

"You're right. Everything will be okay," I told myself. "It has to be."

Eventually Kate had sat up too, and we both sat unmoving beside each other until finally, she broke the silence.

"We need to go out."

I reeled back in surprise.

"Go out?" I chuckled. "Where?"

"Anywhere! Dinner? Movie? Club?"

I looked at her like she was insane.

"A club? Kate, you're pregnant and showing. No way would James even let you go." I laughed even more at the idea of seeing a very pregnant Kate trying to have fun in a club.

"James never tells me no, but maybe you're right. Might not be that fun for me." She dropped her eyes over her belly as she rubbed along the curve. "How about dinner and we can walk around and find some cute little shops to look through?"

"Yeah, that sounds nice, actually." I smiled, already feeling eager for the distraction.

"Good, it'll be like old times."

It was exactly what I needed.

"Oh, and you better let Mal know that I'm stealing you away for the night," she added before lifting off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom for her one hundredth pee of the day.

I had a feeling Mal would be the type of man to crash a girls' night, and for some reason, I felt okay about that. So shooting him a short text of our plans, I smiled to myself when I get an immediate response.

Mal: You're going out tonight? With Kate? Where? And does Hendricks know?

I grinned to myself.

Me: Yes and yes. But we haven't made solid plans yet. Just dinner and maybe go shopping afterward. Nothing too crazy.

Mal: Dinner? Out in the city? By yourselves? Can't you just tell her to go with James and you two can go out some other time?

I had a feeling I had now brought forward protective Mal. The one who didn't want me to go out without him. The one who feared bad things would happen to me if he wasn't there next to me.

But as badly as I wanted to be with Mal tonight, I needed this time with Kate.

Me: Now why would I do that? I already told her I would go. Plus, it's been so long since I've done anything fun with her. I'll be back later though.

I waited for him to respond as bubbles kept appearing and disappearing. Then soon, just when I thought he had given up, I received another message.

And I couldn't help but smile.