24. Wren

24

WREN

M al was here.

I wasn't dreaming or imagining it. Standing across the room only a handful of steps away, he stood with one hand shoved into his pocket and the other holding a card. His side profile was the only thing visible and just from that angle, I could conclude that the man cleaned up nice. I was still getting used to the shorter cut on him, but without a hat, he looked so much older.

He looked like a man.

Not that he didn't before, but seeing him dressed in khaki pants and a button-down shirt, he barely resembled the Mal I knew.

The Mal I thought I knew.

He looked good too.

He looked more than good.

And I hated how my body reacted toward him.

I wasn't oblivious to the fact Mal was attractive, because he was. But what lingered behind his ruggedly handsome face was by far the most intriguing thing about him. Even now I found myself dissecting all the reasons why he was here and what his motives were.

Just by watching him I could sense how uncomfortable he was. Like he was seconds away from making a run for the door, but instead remained stoic beside the table of gifts with a solemn expression across his face.

So out of place.

So unsure of himself and exposed that every part of me wanted to go to him.

"Wren?" a voice had called out to me, tearing me away from Mal and the trance he pulled me in.

My eyes immediately sought out who it was and that's when to my absolute horror, I realized it was Mr. Dalton trying to capture my attention back. I completely zoned him out the second I caught Mal over his shoulder and I felt like dying on the spot.

Literally.

My face couldn't contain the flush that broke out across my cheeks. Even an explanation of why I suddenly went silent was nowhere to be found. I must have looked like a complete nutcase.

His brow then lifted and on the slight swivel of his head, he began to search for whatever I was looking at. It only took him a few moments to catch on, "Ah," I knew I had been caught.

"I'm just surprised is all… to see him here," I blabbered. "That's why I was… You know, staring."

Jesus Christ. Please stop talking.

"Well, you're not the only one surprised." He smiled at my flustered state. "Must've taken some serious convincing from someone to get him here."

He gave me a knowing look that had me tensing from head to toe.

Did he think I was the one who convinced him to come today?

That's ridiculous.

"Oh, I didn't mention anything about today to him. There was no convincing from me… at all." I chuckled. "Must've been someone else."

He nodded as if he had trouble believing that. I stood there hoping this conversation would shift toward something else, and luckily, I was saved at the right moment.

"Okay, everyone! Drinks down and listen up! I'm going to need you all to make your way to the backyard because it's finally time to see if baby Hendricks will be a girl or boy!" Kate shouted throughout the house, causing everyone in the vicinity to turn their heads. Cheers and laughter rang out, and finally I felt like I could breathe again.

"Any guesses?" he asked me quickly.

I hadn't really thought about it until now. I wanted to say girl, but my gut feeling leaned more toward boy.

"A baby boy." I smiled and he reciprocated. As we both began to part ways, I made the mistake of peering up over Jim's shoulder again and found Mal watching me closely. I was taken aback by it, not expecting him to find me so quickly but he had. His eyes were hooded with an intensity that rocked me to my core.

He wasn't staring at me with his normal disdain-filled glare. Instead, I felt as though he was trying to read my emotions from afar. The potency of it was almost too much to bear.

I returned his gaze before I physically couldn't any longer.

It hurt looking at him.

Then tearing my eyes from his, I began walking toward the backyard where everyone else was headed. With each step I took, I could feel him following behind me. Almost too close that I could feel the heat from his body hit my back. Even his scent had somehow made its way to my nostrils and I inwardly groaned from how good he smelled. I pretended like I didn't notice him. Like his presence didn't affect me one bit.

Because it didn't.

Even as we stopped in front of a giant display of balloons and posters, I felt him take the spot directly next to me.

Don't acknowledge him.

Don't even look at him.

I remained quiet and still, despite the trembling of my hands and heart. There was an obvious shift in the air now. One that neither of us would ever admit to or eliminate.

It was a thrumming of heartbeats and intensity.

Deep, heavy breaths and confusion.

In other words, way too many emotions and feelings to handle at once.

The influx of friends and family members began to fill the backyard and soon, we were surrounded on both sides. Distractions were everywhere, but none were enough to cease our vigorous moment.

Still, neither of us uttered a single word. Not even a stolen glance perhaps due to our pridefulness. The last thing I wanted was for him to think he affected me in some way. Or that I cared he was here, when in fact I didn't. In no way would I let his giant frame and enormous presence rattle me.

Just then, Kate and James emerged from the house with beaming smiles spread across their faces and that's when I felt the lightest of pressure against my shoulder. At first, I thought it may have been a bug, but when I went to inspect it, I found Mal's arm brushing against mine.

Purposefully.

He hadn't even acknowledged me, yet he remained lightly pressed up against me as if to let me know that he was next to me. It didn't make sense. Of course I knew he was here.

How could I not?

I continued to pretend like none of what he was doing was bothering me. Today wasn't about him. It wasn't about our feud, my mission to bring him home, nothing to do with us. For the next few hours, it was about Kate and James.

And their little baby.

Once Kate and James took their place in front of us all, my eyes dropped down to her swollen belly. Even just over the course of the two weeks I had been here, I could already see the change in her stomach. It was finally noticeable in all her clothes; exactly what she was waiting for to happen. In her words, she wanted the world to know she was having James Hendricks's baby.

The two of them looked overwhelmed with happiness and love. Giggles and smiles filled the air around us and even some laughter as James's mother came to the front, holding a hockey stick and hockey puck in her hands.

He looked confused for a moment. Eyeing the gear his mom was trying to hand him, he glanced over to Kate.

"Boy or girl?" The low, rumbled question caught me off guard and at first I thought it may have been a voice in my head, but I soon realized it wasn't.

It was Mal.

"What?" I asked on a quiet, annoyed hiss as Kate and James engrossed themselves in a private conversation.

"Little Hendricks," he clarified. "Boy or girl?"

I didn't understand why he was asking me, or why he cared. I didn't understand much when it came to him, but I answered anyway.

"Boy."

I didn't look at him. I didn't ask him what he thought, instead I watched as James grinned in realization.

"Sorry, everyone, my husband apparently had no clue that this was how we were doing the reveal," Kate announced, and everyone laughed.

Including me, but I quickly stopped when I felt Mal's eyes fall on me.

"Hey, to be fair, I was half asleep when you told me how we were doing it."

They threw a few more words at each other before everything was finally ready, thanks to their mothers. Kate was now a few feet behind James while he stood in front of a net holding his hockey stick. Both their parents stood off to the side, anxiously waiting, and soon a photographer stepped out from the side and began taking pictures.

Everything was beautiful.

It was just so… them. Slightly chaotic, but perfect nonetheless.

The anticipation began to grow as everyone's attention was now fully on them. But just as we all thought it was time, Kate had opened her mouth. "Before we go any further, I just wanted to make a quick announcement. Wren…" Her eyes wavered over the crowd until she finally found me. Her gaze immediately softened. "Thank you so much for everything. For your help, for being here, I couldn't ask for a better best friend. I love you. James and I both love you."

The last thing I expected was to be singled out when I hadn't done all that much to help out. Surely not enough to get a thank-you in front of everyone, but I pushed my embarrassment to the side and smiled. I tried my best to hold back tears, and I somehow managed as I mouthed the words "I love you too" back. I missed our friendship so much that I had almost forgotten what it felt like. The ease. The pure happiness I felt in her presence.

After Hayes's passing, I refused to drag her down with me. So selfishly, I pulled away from her. Being in such a dark place, I couldn't subject her to my hopelessness because I knew I would never forgive myself. Before Hayes, I was a dark cloud, but after him, I became a never-ending rainstorm.

But standing here now, ten years later, I'm reminded of what love is again. That even without Hayes, there is still love. No matter the time and space, the trials and tribulations of our past, love will always be here.

It only took me over thirty years to figure that out.

Soon, when Kate and James were finally ready, they started a countdown that everyone joined in on. A wave of anticipation spread across the crowd. It was almost too surreal of a moment. As we all shouted the number five, James then lifted his hockey stick off the ground and held it above his head. The closer we got to zero, the louder our chanting grew.

I became lost in the motions and the shouting around me. We were approaching the number one and just as James began to swing the hockey stick, everything suddenly went silent in my head. There was nothing to be heard besides the increased thumping of my heart and everything just slowed down.

This was it.

Their moment.

My eyes immediately sought out Kate. Her palm cradled her bump as she gnawed profusely on her bottom lip. You could see the anticipation pouring out of her as she watched the hockey puck closely.

My best friend was going to be a mother.

And for a brief second, I pictured myself in her shoes. Standing in front of people who I loved and adored, waiting for the moment we found out the gender of our little baby.

Hayes's and my baby.

Would he immediately run to me and lift me in his arms like I've seen in countless gender reveal videos? Or would he have given me that signature dimpled smile before brushing his mouth against mine?

Knowing Hayes, he would have done it all.

And before I knew it, a painful lump was forming in my throat. Tightening with each teardrop that threatened to fall, I held on the best I could without falling completely apart. I took long, steady breaths. And just when I thought I had managed to keep myself from breaking, James had struck the hockey puck, causing a burst of blue smoke to fill the air.

Cheers rang out all around as the tears I tried so hard to hold back were now falling freely along my cheeks.

A boy.

A precious baby boy.

Kate flew into her husband's arms as they both erupted in shouts of absolute joy. It was beyond beautiful to see and a moment so special, I'd never forget. I was beyond happy for them. For their little family, but my heart couldn't handle watching this any longer. No matter how overjoyed I was for them, it was a reality I would never get to experience. A baby with Hayes. Growing a family with him, and growing old with him.

I would give anything to have him back.

To see him again, or at least one last time.

As everyone went to congratulate the two of them, my feet remained glued to the ground. At this point, my tears were uncontrollable. I couldn't stop them even if I wanted to.

I was spiraling.

Not so much on the outside, but on the inside, I felt like I was drowning. As if there were weights tied on my feet and no matter how hard I tried to kick, I was still falling.

It felt like minutes or even hours had passed as the celebrations continued. As I went to take a breath, I felt something brush against my hand. At first, I didn't react. Not until I felt the warmth of fingers encase my own.

I let out a cry mixed in with a gasp. Though I was desperate to get away from him, I felt compelled to stay. For Kate and James, but soon I realized that people were beginning to notice me.

I felt concerned eyes fall onto me.

Then I heard whispers.

"Is she okay?"

"She looks like she's going to pass out?"

My breathing turned more ragged, more labored, and before I knew it, I couldn't handle it any longer.

I ran.

Needing air, needing away, I pushed through the crowd until I no longer felt the suffocation of others around me.

I just hoped Kate wouldn't hate me for ruining her special day.